Ten
Jameson
For the first four days, this trip was everything I’d hoped it would be. Willow and I were overly polite to each other, we explored and spa’d and swam and ate. And ate. And ate.
My God, I had no idea where she was putting all the food. Our first morning there, we’d hit the breakfast buffet twice. Twice! She was still the tiniest thing, but man, she could eat. I loved it.
And every night, we’d made love for hours. The kind of slow, sweet, passionate love I’d always wanted to show her but had never had the nerve to attempt. I worshipped her body, and she seemed to revel in it.
We were happier than we’d ever been together.
On day five though…something between us shifted. She woke up on edge, and it seemed as if everything I did or suggested was completely wrong. I bit my tongue, not wanting to start an argument while we were sequestered together in the most beautiful place I’d ever seen. But damn it, she was driving me crazy.
“Do you want to check out the tennis courts?” I asked when we got back from breakfast.
“No.”
“Okay. Do you want a new mani-pedi?”
“No.”
“Do you want to go swimming? Hiking? Ride a goat?”
“No.” She crossed her arms and sunk lower into the sofa cushions.
“Do you want to sit here and do nothing?” I suggested, unable to keep the bite out of my tone.
“How long are we staying here?” she asked.
“We can leave whenever you want.” I shifted to face her and ran my finger over her arm, watching her shiver in reaction. “Babe, what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted, kicking her heel at the carpet.
“Is it hormones?”
She narrowed her gaze at me, and her cheeks flushed the way they did when she got super pissed at me.
Shit.
“You know what, Cassel?” She jumped to her feet and put her hands on her hips, glaring down at me. “Every time a woman is having any kind of bad day, or attitude, or whatever…you men automatically blame it on hormones.”
“You’re fucking pregnant!” I yelled, standing as well and glaring right back at her. “It’s not out of the realm of possibility that it might be affecting your mood.”
“Piss off!” She started to stomp away, but I grabbed her arm and pulled her back to me.
“No way, princess,” I told her. “You’re not running out on me. We’re together now. We work this out.”
“Let. Me. Go.” Her tone was low and dangerous, but I wasn’t about to back down now.
“Wills, talk to me,” I begged. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know,” she repeated with an exasperated sigh. “You’re just…here. All the time! I need some space. I’m too independent for all this togetherness.”
“Me, too,” I told her. “But we can be independent together.”
“That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to me,” she snapped.
“I doubt that,” I admitted with a shrug.
“Don’t do that,” she said, pulling her arm free.
“Do what?”
“Don’t be cute right now.”
“I don’t know any other way to be.” I reached for her again, and she didn’t fight me. I pulled her into my arms and sagged in relief when she hugged me back. “Do you want to go home?”
“No.” She sniffed, and I realized she was shaking.
Lifting her chin, I looked down at her tearstained cheeks, and my heart broke. I didn’t know what to do for her. I didn’t know how to fix this. I may have been wasted when I’d suggested this trip, but it really was supposed to prove we could be together. Now, it felt as if it were all falling apart on me.
“Are you hungry?” I asked tentatively.
“I’m always hungry,” she moaned, her tears falling faster. “And I’m tired. And I’m horny. And I know it’s the stupid hormones, but don’t say shit like that to me, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, pressing her head back to my chest while rubbing circles over her back. “I’m sorry I pointed out the obvious.”
I shouldn’t have been surprised when she sack-tapped me, but I still was. It wasn’t a hard hit, but it was direct, and I sank to the floor, clutching my balls and groaning in pain.
“You’re an asshole,” she hissed.
“You’re a demon,” I responded, blinking back my own tears. Damn it. Was she gonna be like this for another five months? I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.
“I didn’t hit you that hard,” she complained, rolling her eyes.
“Well, I’d punch you in the boob to reciprocate,” I told her, climbing back to my feet. “But we’re not in middle school anymore, and I don’t hit women.”
“Can we eat?”
“Well, I’m trying not to vomit,” I admitted. “But I can get you third breakfast. Do you want to go downstairs?”
“Yes, please.” She walked toward the bedroom. “I’m going to change real quick.” She looked back and me and appraised me from head-to-toe. “Is that what you’re wearing?”
“Apparently not,” I said. “You change first. I’ll come in when you’re done.”
She closed the door behind her, and I sank onto the couch, clutching my forehead in one hand and my crotch in the other.
There was no way I’d survive this pregnancy with my hormonal frenemy. And if, by some miracle I did, I wasn’t sure my testicles would be able to provide me any other kids in the future.
* * * *
After we ate, Willow claimed she was feeling better and agreed to go explore the gardens with me. We walked hand-in-hand through an eclectic array of flowers, some that were just sprouting and some that were already beginning to fade. The contrast of winter blooms mixed with spring, sprinkled with summer buds waiting for the heat to come, was breathtaking. I made a few mental notes as we walked, thinking there was bound to be a hotel project that would want this kind of feel to it, and I wanted to remember how to give it to them.
“It’s nice here,” Willow said.
“It is,” I agreed. “I could see us getting married here.”
“Don’t start,” she groaned.
“I didn’t mean today.” Honestly, after her theatrics earlier, I was a little bit gun shy on proposing anyway.
I mean, I was definitely going to spend the rest of my life with her. And she was absolutely going to marry me one day.
Just…not today.
“Would you buy me a castle?” Willow asked suddenly.
“Yes,” I answered without hesitating. “I’ll build you one as soon as we get back if you want.”
She studied me for a minute, her gaze searching my face.
“You really would, wouldn’t you?” She seemed surprised.
“Willow, I would do anything for you.” I took both of her hands in mine and stared down at her. “When we get back…I really think you should move in with me.”
“Oh, you do, do you?” she challenged.
“Your apartment is the size of a closet. And it’s way too far from my place. What if you need something? What if something happens, and I’m too far away.” I sighed. “And…I want you there. With me.”
“Jamie, I don’t know—”
“We could go buy a place,” I offered, cutting her off. “You know, just a little starter mansion until the castle gets built.”
She laughed and shook her head, releasing one of my hands but keeping the other as she started walking again.
“Do you remember the conversation we just had about independence?”
“I do,” I concurred. “I recall we agreed to do it together.”
“I’ll think about it,” she offered. “That’s the best I can do right now. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Would you be mad if I wanted to go home?” She stopped again and stared up at me with wide eyes.
“I can have the plane back tomorrow. Is that okay? Or I could see if we could get a commercial flight if you don’t want to stay another day.”
“Wow,” she said, laughing and shaking her head. “You’re so loaded.”
“I offered to build you a castle, but the fact that I could throw a commercial flight on my Amex is what impresses you?”
I left out the fact that we’d brought my private jet here, and here was Switzerland, at a castle that was costing me more per day than she used to make in a month.
Granted, she’d known me forever. And there were things she was used to being around. We Cassels didn’t flaunt our wealth, but we didn’t hide it either. We worked hard, and we played hard. When we could, we brought our friends along for the ride, too. So, she’d done the whole private jet, crazy vacation thing with my family before this week. But, apparently, the ease with which I was able to move her around was the thing that stuck out from the norm.
“Willow.” I pulled her to a stop again. “I need you to understand something. Right now. Regardless of our relationship status, what’s mine is yours. It kind of always was. But it definitely is now. I will hand over every last cent I have to make sure that you and our baby are taken care of. Forever.” I saw her stiffen and realized she’d just drawn together unconnectable dots in her head. “That’s not a morality thing. That’s a love thing. We are in this together. I will never leave your side. Even when you try to push me away. I love you.”
“I know,” she said, blowing out a sigh and relaxing her shoulders. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I asked, my brows knitting together in confusion.
“For jumping to conclusions. For being irrational and cranky. For hitting you in the balls earlier.” She shrugged. “I’m just sorry.”
“Don’t apologize to me,” I said. “I’m fine. You’re fine. We’re all fine.” I leaned forward and kissed her. “Come on. I’ll get the jet back here tomorrow, and we can enjoy our last night in style, what do you say?”
“Bring it on, Cassel.”