Chapter 22 #2
She rolled her eyes.
To her surprise, she was actually enjoying herself. Ian was funny. Easy to talk to.
Then a group of guests shifted across the ballroom.
Elena's gaze immediately darted over their shoulders.
Looking for Carter.
Again.
Seriously?
She mentally scolded herself.
Ian was standing right in front of her. He was Attractive. Charming. And clearly interested. Yet somehow her attention remained fixated on a man whom she asked for distance.
"There it is."
Elena looked back at Ian.
"What?"
"That smile."
She frowned.
"What smile?"
"The one you've had for the last thirty seconds."
His eyes narrowed playfully.
"You weren't thinking about me when you made it."
Elena nearly choked on her drink. This man was really good at reading people.
Ian laughed.
"See? I knew it."
"You're impossible."
"So I've been told."
"By everyone?"
"Mostly women."
A familiar voice interrupted. "I believe that."
Elena froze.
Her heart recognized the voice before the rest of her did.
Carter.
He stood beside them with his hands tucked into his pockets. His expression appeared calm enough.
His eyes did not.
Something dark and determined flickered there.
Something that made her pulse instantly forget how to behave.
Ian raised an eyebrow.
"Evans."
"Kingsley."
A slow smile tugged at Ian's mouth. Carter merely tilted his head, his expression calm enough to fool most people. Unfortunately, Elena had known him too long to be fooled.
For a brief moment, the two men seemed to size each other up.
Just one quick glance that somehow managed to contain an entire conversation.
Interesting.
If either man started hissing, she wouldn't have been entirely surprised.
It had all the energy of two cats arching their backs at each other.
Then Carter looked directly at her.
"Can I borrow you for a minute?"
Before she could answer, Ian looked between the two of them once.
A knowing smile appeared on his face.
Well.
That was embarrassing.
Apparently she hadn't been nearly as subtle as she'd thought.
"It's okay," Ian said, lifting his glass. "I'll survive."
The corner of his mouth curved upward as though he'd just solved a puzzle.
***
Elena's heart beat increased in anticipation as she followed Carter.
Was he gonna talk about the night they spent together?
The balcony door slid shut behind them, muting the music and laughter from the party. Cool night air brushed against Elena's bare arms. The city stretched below them in a sea of lights, but Elena barely noticed it. Her attention remained fixed on the man standing in front of her.
Carter’s tie was undone, and it made him look even sexier in the suit. He paced the small balcony, moving back and forth in a tight loop.
Elena watched him with curiosity. There was something restless about the way he moved, like standing still wasn’t an option anymore. His hands kept going into his pockets and then coming out again, unable to settle anywhere for long.
She didn’t move, but she understood the feeling. On the outside she stayed calm, but inside she felt the same kind of unease—just held more carefully in place.
“Elena…I-” Carter said as he finally stopped pacing.
Elena frowned slightly.
Whatever speech he'd planned on giving seemed to abandon him entirely.
His gaze drifted toward the ballroom.
When he looked back at her, something raw flashed across his face.
"I hated that."
Elena blinked. "What?"
"Watching him make you laugh."
His jaw clenched, just for a second, like the thought actually hurt.
"I hated how much I hated it."
Of all the things she'd expected him to say, that hadn't even made the list.
A strange warmth spread through her chest.
"Carter..."
"I know." A humorless laugh escaped him. "I sound insane."
The embarrassing part was that she understood exactly what he meant.
Only an hour ago she'd been annoyed because she'd seen him talking to some beautiful model.
Maybe neither of them were behaving rationally.
His gaze dropped briefly before lifting back to hers.
"But all I could think was that he gets to stand there and make you smile while I stand across the room pretending I'm fine."
The honesty in his voice caught her off guard.
He took a step closer, suddenly she became acutely aware of how much larger he was than her. How easily he seemed to fill the small balcony space. How absurdly safe she had always felt whenever he was near.
"I’ve been trying so hard to give you space," Carter said, looking everywhere but at her. "To give you exactly what you asked for. But then I saw you with Ian."
He stopped and shook his head, turning his gaze out toward the glittering Manhattan skyline. The wind caught his hair as he stood there, still for once. When he finally looked back at her, his eyes carried the reflection of the city lights.
“And I realized I’m not nearly as in control of myself as I thought I was.”
His voice came out rough, strained in a way that made the words feel heavier than they should’ve been.
“God help me, I’ve tried,” he added.
Elena didn’t interrupt. She let him speak, watching him carefully, holding her silence even as the air between them shifted.
"I’ve tried so hard to stay away from you. I’ve tried to be patient. I tried to tell myself that just being near you, just being in the same room, was enough."
He let out a short, dry laugh that didn't have any real happiness in it. "It’s not. It’s not enough at all."
Despite how messed up everything was, a tiny, breathless smile slipped out before Elena could stop it.
A corner of his mouth hitched up for a second, responding to hers, before his face softened into something completely serious.
"Will you go out with me for dinner?
The whole world seemed to blur until it was just the two of them standing there. Looking at him, Elena’s mind flashed back to the very first time he’d asked her out back at Aurelia—he'd been just as intense, and she’d been just as breathless.
A heavy silence settled between them. The faint hum of the city buzzed far below the balcony, and the music drifted from the party, but all she could actually focus on was the warmth radiating from how close he was standing.
"You don't have to answer me right now. Take your time," he said, giving his head a little shake as if trying to brush off a bad thought.
He shifted his weight, suddenly looking worried that he might not actually like whatever she was about to say.
He swallowed hard, his voice dropping to a quiet, raw whisper. "I know you don't trust me."
The words hit her right where it hurt.
Elena's small smile vanished instantly. Because there it was. The huge, invisible wall between them that neither of them knew how to knock down.
Carter’s jaw tightened.
For one heartbreaking second, Elena thought this might be the moment. She thought he was finally going to tell her. Why did he break her heart four years ago? Why did he just disappear into thin air?
Instead, he looked down at his shoes.
And that silence hurt worse than any explanation he could have given.
When he looked back up, his voice was even softer. "I know I haven't earned your trust back yet. I know that."
“Carter...” she started softly, only to trail off. She simply didn't know what to say.
"I know," he interrupted gently, closing his eyes for a brief second as if to steady himself. "But I just needed you to know. If I lose you forever because I was too scared to say it..."
His voice cracked as he looked at her. "I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself. Please... give me a chance to earn your trust back.”