Chapter 7
Charlie stared at her phone. Her mind was twisted in confusion, or perhaps it was clarity, a knowing that she didn’t want to admit. She was such a stubborn girl that it was hard for her to admit that she had gotten played. Again. Charlie had been a sucker for a man, again.
“Story of my life,” she whispered, shaking her head.
It had been a week since she had slept with him.
Damn, why did I sleep with him? She thought. Leigh was right.
The words that stared back at her from the open text added insult to injury.
CHARLIE
Hey just checking on you.
She had tried to keep it cool. She hadn’t even wanted to send that, but the silence was killing her.
The message had been sent two days after he had left her house, and here it was five whole days after that and still nothing.
If that wasn’t hint enough, it should be.
She felt like she was going a little crazy because what she had assumed that night, everything it had felt like, was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.
Maybe I misread the shit. I clearly misread him.
She couldn’t get rid of the sick feeling in her stomach.
She hated to be stupid for a man... again.
.. after she had told herself another nigga would never.
.. another nigga had. Demi had, and even though she barely knew him, it hurt.
Bad. Cheapened by an expensive night, Demi had maxed out her emotions and left her body in debt.
It had always been her problem. She fell for men too easily. Trusted them too soon. Demi and his crazy had sucked her in as soon as he had overpaid to hear her sing.
Charlie couldn’t help the text she sent him next.
CHARLIE
Wow.
That was all she had for him. Disappointment and shock because she hadn’t seen this coming. Not expecting a response, she clicked out of the screen and then grabbed the keys to her car, heading out the door.
Rehearsal was a must. She had avoided it all week.
She wasn’t sick in love. It wasn’t that serious to her.
She had only known Demi for 24 hours. He had shown up in her life like a flash of lightning only to disappear just as fast, but she was in her feelings.
The pride of a woman was a motherfucker and she had injured herself.
She had allowed too much, too soon and she knew that when women did that, they normally didn’t control the tempo.
Charlie felt foolish and she dreaded facing Justin.
She had allowed Demi to be terrible to him.
That should have been her indication that he wasn’t shit.
She had learned to judge a man by the way he treated ordinary people, not those he loved.
Her nerves frayed at the edges as she drove to the park where her band sometimes played.
A little place where families went on Sundays.
Michigan didn’t have many sunny days, so when it was warm, the park was the place to be.
Charlie loved to sing. She would sing anywhere.
So, putting a fedora on the ground and singing as the sweet air kissed her lungs was a vibe.
A preference, in fact. It wasn’t about the tips.
It was about creativity. About the freedom because freedom was important to her these days.
When she arrived, she called Justin’s phone.
It had never felt awkward between them before.
It was what she appreciated about him. They just enjoyed the time they spent together, enjoyed the music, put on a good show, and let the energy flow downstream.
It was when you tried to get water to flow upward that things got tricky.
Unnatural. She and Justin’s chemistry was effortless.
A dope-ass musical marriage. Every singer had one.
The Babyface to her Toni. The Jermaine Dupri to Monica.
The Tommy Mottola to Mariah. Justin was a musical genius, and their sessions took away all the bad things in her life.
She had been stuck in a rut for a week. This was much needed.
“What up, Charles? I see you. I’m parked in the back,” he said. Charlie lifted her eyes and saw him flagging her down. She parked next to him and exited the car.
“Where’s everybody else?” she asked, grabbing her guitar from the back seat.
“Big Matt got his kid last minute. Brent can’t make it,” he informed.
“Should we reschedule? After the week I’ve had I’m so okay with that,” she admitted.
“Nah, it only takes two to catch a good vibe, Charles. Besides, my strings miss you,” he said.
Charlie smiled. “Can’t lie. I miss those strings too,” she said. Justin was the most skilled musician she had ever heard. He read music because he was classically trained, but the way he played his guitar wasn’t trained at all. It was straight from the soul.
“We over here with it,” he said, leading the way. They walked beyond the play area where screaming kids ran by, passing the normal bench they usually posted up at. When they arrived at the fountain, Charlie stopped walking.
“What’s all this?” she asked.
“Just a vibe. I thought you might like it and an apology for being an asshole with your boyfriend the other day,” he said.
A red and white checkered picnic blanket rested on the green grass and a woven picnic basket sat on top. A bottle of champagne in a bucket. A bouquet of flowers sitting next to that.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” she corrected. “And about that. I’m sorry if I was flaky with you.”
“No apologies, Charles. Let’s pretend like it didn’t even happen. Eat some food, sip a little bit, and play because I could tell when you pulled up that you really need to play,” Justin said.
Charlie was relieved that he didn’t make a big deal out of things. “Is it that obvious?” she asked.
“I just notice your heart when it’s heavy,” he said.
Charlie was taken aback. Did he? Notice that? Had he noticed it before? Because it was her solemn that had made her want to sing in his band in the first place.
Charlie scoffed.
Justin sat on the blanket, grabbing the bottle of champagne and then resting his elbows on his knees as he popped the cork. The bubbly flowed and he moved to let it flow out onto the grass some before grabbing a plastic flute and filling it for her.
Charlie came to her knees, sitting down her guitar case and accepting the drink.
She sipped the champagne, feeling it fizz in her chest as he grabbed his guitar. His fingers knew those damn strings so well.
He kept the tempo by tapping the wood of the instrument while playing perfectly.
“I love this song,” she said.
“Want to try something different? Add it to the set this weekend?” he asked.
“This weekend? I have to learn the chords, Justin! I swear y’all just like me to stand there and look pretty. I’m more than a bar singer. I actually play too,” she fussed.
“Nah, you’re not just that. You’re much more than that,” he said, smirking as he made music of the afternoon air.
“You say I’m tripping, bullshit. You’re the one that make me do shit,” he sang.
He never sang but he could, and he did it so well that it caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. She nodded her head, sipping the champagne.
“True love is absolute. What more can I sayyyy, you make me this way.” Charlie joined in, making up a harmony that complimented his tone. It sounded completely different than the H.E.R. track it originated from, but that’s what music was about, transforming songs into your own.
“Yo, you’re ridiculous with it,” he said.
She shrugged.
“What’s up with you and ol’ boy?” he asked.
“Absolutely nothing,” she answered. “And I don’t want to talk about it.
Men just ain’t shit. Like, you can be so receptive to their flaws.
So understanding to the weird-ass shit they got going on,” she said, shaking her head as thoughts of Demi ran through her mind.
“And somehow still be treated all kinds of fucked up. I’m sick of niggas. ”
“Nah, just say you sick of the ones you’re choosing,” Justin said.
Charlie shrugged as he passed her a wrapped sandwich. “Maybe. Maybe it is my tastes that get me in trouble,” she said.
“Just saying. Don’t write us all off because a few mishandled you,” he said.
She pulled the sandwich from the sandwich bag and laughed when she saw the peanut butter and jelly sandwich inside.
“Simple shit, Charles. Don’t laugh. Bet you haven’t had one since you were a kid.”
She took the sandwich from the baggie and took a bite. Every taste bud in her mouth exploded.
“It’s legit fire,” she chuckled. “I was going to complain but it’s probably the best thing I’ve tasted all week.”
“See,” Justin said. He winked at her. His cool demeanor fit him perfectly.
Attractive in a leather jacket-wearing, ripped-jeans-sporting, take the doors off his Wrangler kind of way.
Justin was a vibe all his own. A very different vibe than what she was used to, but she couldn’t deny that their chemistry was smooth.
It was so easy to get lost in a world of music and lyrics with him.
He was the first person she connected with when she had come back home six months ago.
She had walked into the bar looking to waitress and had interrupted their entire rehearsal.
They didn’t have a singer at that time. Just good music and good vibes, and a guitar that rivaled the late great Prince.
She had walked away with that waitress job, but singing after hours as she cleaned and they played had led to her singing with them full time.
After everything she had been through, it felt like she had finally found a place to belong.
“It ain’t much that beats a peanut butter and jelly.
It reminds you of your mama. It’s comfort food.
Everybody mama used to make these joints. ”
“All facts, Justine,” she said, smiling. Her mind went down memory lane. “There were a lot of days when PB&J was all my mom could afford to feed me and I never got tired of them. She used to cut off the crust and eat that part and let me keep the middle.”
“Your mama was a smart lady,” he chuckled. “The rough edges are the sweetest parts.” She grew quiet as she looked off toward the crowd in the distance. The air was thick. Like it was a summer day in New Orleans and humidity laced the air. She could barely get it to her lungs.
“My mom’s dead,” she said. “They say she died of a stroke. I think she died of a broken heart.”
Justice grabbed his guitar. “You want to sing it out?”
Charlie sniffed, and nodded, erasing her feelings. “Yeah,” she answered, knowing exactly what he meant. Only a musician could get rid of a feeling through song.
Charlie stayed out in the park with Justin until the sunset and somewhere between the bumblebees and lightning bugs, she forgave herself for the one-night stand.
As they headed toward the car, Charlie turned to him.
“Thank you for today. For the distraction and for being cool enough to not hold a grudge about the other day.”
“It’s already forgotten, Charles,” he said as he opened her car door. “Time for an upgrade. This thing has seen better days.”
“It was my mom’s,” she said. “This was home a lot of nights.”
“My bad, Charlie, I didn’t know,” he said.
“It’s fine. Just saying, I’ll never get rid of it. It’s one of the very few things that I have left that remind me of her,” Charlie said.
“We all have our attachments,” he answered.
She sucked in a deep breath and then slid into her car. Justin put her guitar in her back seat.
“I’ll see you later. Thanks for the picnic,” she said.
He knocked on the top of her roof as a form of goodbye before she drove off. It wasn’t quite chemistry and it wasn’t quite loneliness. Friendship. Justin gave her friendship, and it was one she appreciated.