Chapter 12
Lauren loved her family more than life. They had tried for a long time to expand it, trying for a little girl, doing everything they could to have another baby.
They had been through IVF and all, but nothing had worked and as DJ aged, they had grown further and further apart.
They didn’t hate one another. She was sure he still loved her, but their life had become one predictable routine.
A routine she cherished, but one she could tell was redundant to Demi.
“DJ’s looking good out there!”
She smiled as she watched one of the other mother’s make her way up the bleachers.
“Hey, Alani. Yeah, he’s been working hard. Eazy’s taking to it pretty good,” Lauren said. “He’s such a sweet boy.”
“That’s my baby. I’m surprised he likes football at all. I made him try it just to get him off that game and get him out and interacting with other kids, but he loves it. All he does is toss around a ball all day with his daddy, practicing the playbook,” Alani said, smiling.
Lauren admired the woman before her. Her smile lit up the entire field.
She knew a woman in love when she saw one.
She used to smile that way with Demi. She could see the difference in their relationships.
When Alani and her husband would come to practices and games, they always sat close, cheering their son on and Lauren would notice the little ways they loved on one another.
Whether it was a shared pretzel that Alani would feed to her husband or the way he would carry her purse.
Sometimes, they would have twin toddlers with them, and they were just the perfect family.
When Demi came, he stood at the sideline, cheering DJ on and chopping it up with the coach.
He barely acknowledged her until the end when it was time to walk her to her car.
Lauren had never compared her relationship to others, but she couldn’t help but admire Black love when it was evasive.
“I’m glad. If he ever needs a friend to practice with, he’s always welcome over at the house,” Lauren said. “You too, I mean, if you ever just want to have a glass of wine...” she paused as Alani looked down at her bulging belly. “After the baby, of course,” Lauren added.
“Yeah, we could arrange something,” Alani added.
Lauren felt like she was being awkward, forcing conversation because normally she didn’t say two words to anyone at these games. Besides hellos and goodbyes, she didn’t interact with the other mothers. Commotion on the field caused Lauren to shift her eyes back to her son.
When she saw the tussle between DJ and one of his teammates, she arose from her seat. The coach’s whistle blared as he rushed out to the field to break up the scuffle. Lauren wasn’t far behind him.
“DJ!” she shouted.
“Hey, hey, hey!” the coach said, as he pulled the two kids apart.
“He’s garbage, man! He dropping every pass, Coach Ny!” DJ shouted. “I’m sick of this dirt team!”
“Hey! DJ!” Lauren protested.
The coach turned to her. “I got it,” he said. He turned to her son. “DJ, give me 15 laps,” he said.
“This is bull...”
“Finish that sentence if you want to and watch what happens, DJ,” Lauren said, pointing a warning finger at him.
He gritted his teeth and began the laps as the coach blew his whistle.
“Let’s call it,” he said, disappointment in his tone as his eyes followed her son around the field. “A’ight, get in here, get in here. Keep it G on three...” The group of boys huddled together, joining their fists in the middle of the circle. “One. Two. Three.”
“Keep it G!”
Lauren smiled because she knew the phrase meant, “Keep it Godly.” He was a man of God. Ax ex-football star but also a pastor.
“I’m so sorry, Coach Ny,” she said.
“You good, Queen,” he replied. “He been different lately, though. A little aggressive. Everything good with him?”
Lauren shrugged. Her growing son had everything.
He didn’t even realize how privileged he was, but she and Demi worked hard to give it to him.
They weren’t always as present as they’d like to be because, in order to maintain the lifestyle they had given him, they had to work.
“I think so,” she answered. “I just feel like I can’t keep up with these changing moods.
Between him and his father...” She caught herself. She was talking too much.
“Yeah, well, I’ll straighten him out on the field, don’t worry about it,” Nyair replied.
“Thank you,” Lauren said, folding her arms across her chest as she watched her son run. “You really mean a lot to these boys. You’re like a celebrity around here.”
“That’s old news, man,” Nyair said, smiling sheepishly. “I ain’t been in the spotlight like that in a long time.”
“Yeah, well, us little people remember it,” Lauren said as she kicked at the grass nervously.
Nyair smiled, rubbing the side of his face as his dimples deepened.
“I’m not that guy no more. That guy had a lot going on. I’m just trying to do sum’n different,” Nyair replied.
“Different is good,” Lauren answered.
Lauren had to force herself to look away. Nyair was a beautiful man but not her man. Her man didn’t have two words for her these days. It made her seek something elsewhere. Here. In her son’s coach. She had never felt so pathetic.
“How your old man doing? He usually pulling up for practices,” Nyair said. She was grateful for the shift. She was sure he’d done it on purpose because the interaction was bordering on flirtatious.
“He’s good. Just working,” she said, making excuses for Demi’s sudden absence lately.
“Yeah, well, tell him don’t forget to put his work in at home.
Money’s good, but if you lose the shit you working hard for, it defeats the purpose,” Nyair said.
“He don’t want to do that. It’s a man’s biggest regret,” he said, voice changing ever so slightly, letting Lauren know he was speaking from experience.
“Demi’s a learn the lesson the hard way kind of guy,” Lauren said.
“That’s too bad,” Nyair replied, as he thumbed his bottom lip while staring at her.
DJ ran over to them, panting and out of breath as Nyair rustled the top of his head. “No more picking fights with teammates. You save the frustration for the field and you take it out in your routes, you hear me?” Nyair grilled.
“Yeah, Coach,” DJ replied, chip still on his shoulder.
“So sorry about that. I’ll have his dad talk to him,” Lauren promised.
“It’s all love, Ms. Lauren,” Nyair answered.
“Have a good night,” she said.
She put her arm around DJ, and he sulked as they made their way to the car.
“Why did you hit Chance, DJ? Isn’t he your friend?” she asked, brow dipping because her son was brooding. She could see the attitude he was clinging to.
“He was acting like a baby. Doing more bragging about his stupid dad than playing ball. He was dropping every pass, Ma!”
“I don’t care if he dropped a million passes, you know better than to put your hands on other people. I don’t mind you defending yourself but I’m not raising a bully,” she chastised. “What is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” DJ answered.
She left it alone until they were inside her car, but the look of discontent on his face nagged at her soul.
“It doesn’t seem like nothing,” she said.
“Why didn’t dad come? He said he was coming,” DJ complained.
The reason for his foul mood became crystal clear. DJ was upset with Demi.
Their bad moods were caused by the same source.
Demi was distracted. Missing dinners, missing practices, taking away time from them.
She felt her son’s discontent because, hell, it was her own, but she could never and would never add fuel to that fire.
She would never turn her son against his father and use his discontent as ammunition.
“Daddy’s working, DJ. You know he would be here if he could. Nothing’s more important than you. You know that,” Lauren said, reaching over to rub the back of her son’s neck.
“Yeah, right,” DJ replied.
Lauren felt helpless. There were certain things a mother couldn’t give her son. She could love him. She could nurture him. She could kiss away his aches and pains and wish away his nightmares in the middle of the night, but she couldn’t teach her baby boy how to be a man.
“Your father loves you,” Lauren said. It was all she could say because she was burning with anger.
She held the steering wheel so tightly her hands hurt as she sped home. They pulled into the driveway and she threw her car in park.
“When your dad gets home, he’s going to be talking to you about that attitude,” she said. “I know him, and if you’re honest about what’s upsetting you, he’ll listen. Okay?”
DJ nodded and climbed from the car. She hated the way his shoulders hung as he entered the house.
Lauren didn’t know what was happening to her life.
It was like someone had snapped their finger and cast a spell of discontent over her home.
Things were changing. Demi would never admit it, and maybe he didn’t even notice it, but Lauren could feel it.
The fact that it was now affecting her child made Lauren want to spark a war.
She pulled out her phone and dialed Demi, FaceTime, something she never did but had the overwhelming urge to do today.
When he didn’t answer, every alarm in her body went off.
Lauren would have to have a talk with Demi, and it was a discussion that she wasn’t sure she was ready for because she feared what would be revealed.
“Hey, Dad. What would happen if you and mom got a divorce?”
The question stopped Demi in his tracks as he bypassed his son’s bedroom. He turned and stared into the dark room, only making out the outline of his son’s body as he walked inside.
“What’s that now?” Demi asked as he pushed into the room, navigating through the dark to have a seat on his son’s bed.
“You missed my practice. Chance said the only time his dad started missing his games and stuff is when his dad left his mom,” DJ said.