Chapter 4
Great job tonight, Stassi. This is honestly the smoothest show I’ve been a part of. I hope they keep you around. Have a good night!”
“Thanks. I hope so, too,” she replied. She gave the final crew member a wave as she watched him walk out the back door.
Only once everyone else was gone for the night did she give herself permission to breathe.
She sighed and wandered out onto the deserted stage.
The emptiness of the building made her realize how massive it really was.
Day and Demi had built an empire for themselves.
To be able to pack a place like this wasn’t easy.
It was the biggest event Stassi had ever successfully run.
It made her want to shift her focus completely and focus on the music industry.
If there was room for her, she wanted a seat at the table.
The sound of the doors opening at the rear of the auditorium startled her, and she placed a hand over her eyes to try to see past the beaming stage lights shining down on her.
“The buildings closed!” she shouted.
“Just coming to make sure you’re a woman of your word.”
The firefighter came into view. He entered, wearing navy blue cargo pants, heavy boots, and a fitted navy-blue t-shirt. He was stripped of the uniform he had worn earlier, but she could tell he was still on duty from the badge that adorned his shirt. She traveled down the stairs to greet him.
“As you can see, I am,” she said. “I really appreciate you giving me a break earlier. You have no idea the type of night it’s been.”
“Are you all set here? It’s late. I can walk you to your car if you’re headed out,” he said.
“I caught an Uber,” she said.
“Well, if you don’t mind riding in a fire truck, I don’t mind dropping you where you need to go,” he offered.
Stassi looked at him curiously. “I’m Grayson, by the way,” he said, holding out his hand.
She reluctantly placed her dainty hand in his. His palm swallowed hers as he curled his fingers around hers for a shake. He was a mountain of masculinity. Tall and built, like he worked out every day of his life.
“What kind of name is Grayson?” she asked.
“A trustworthy one,” he shot back. It was the certainty in which he said it that caught her attention.
“Grayson the firefighter,” she said. “Hmm.”
When he smiled, his face lit up. His goatee was lined to precision.
His hair was cut low in a fresh fade that waved.
She was trying to size him up, but he was difficult to read.
He wore a simple watch on his wrist, but other than that, no jewelry, a work hazard she assumed, and he smelled like burning wood. Oddly, it was intriguing.
“I feel like a million assumptions are going through your mind about me right now.” He chuckled and folded his arms across his chest. “I’m just being a gentleman, no need to overthink it.”
“You’re right,” Stassi agreed. “I’d appreciate a ride.”
He stepped aside and motioned for her to lead the way. “After you.”
The red fire truck that sat outside filled her with excitement for some reason. He glanced down at her as they walked side by side. He chuckled.
“What?” she asked, smiling.
“Everybody has that reaction when they ride in one for the first time. It’s something about it that makes you feel like a big kid,” Grayson said, already knowing what the look on her face revealed.
“I mean, it’s kind of cool,” she admitted. He walked her to the passenger side and opened the door.
“Watch your step,” he said. She hopped up, and he closed the door before joining her on the driver’s side. He reached across her, secured her seatbelt, and then started the engine. She felt the truck come alive beneath her, and she giggled.
“Correction, this is very cool.” She couldn’t stop smiling.
“Glad you approve,” he said.
She put her address in the GPS and turned up the volume so he could hear the instructions as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“How long have you been a firefighter?” she asked.
“Long time. About 15 years now,” he said. “Did four years in the navy, came home, and this was destined for me.”
“So, you got a hero complex.” She covered her mouth as soon as she said it because she hadn’t meant to say it aloud. “I’m sorry. That was rude as hell.”
“I’m a lot of things. A hero isn’t one of them,” he said. His message was cryptic, and his tone a bit sad. “I do love what I do, though.”
“You aren’t afraid you’ll get hurt one day? You walk into burning buildings to save complete strangers.” She knew it took a level of selflessness to even consider the profession. She was much too selfish to ever sign up for the task.
“Somebody has to make the sacrifice. Why not me?” he asked.
“I’m sure somebody who loves you is asking why it has to be you,” she offered.
“There’s nobody asking that question.”
The answer was so somber that it put a pit in Stassi’s stomach. How could there not be someone waiting for him out in the world? A wife? A child? A parent? Hell, a sibling? She wanted to probe but decided not to.
The awkward silence that followed was uncomfortable. The conversation had gotten too deep, too quickly. They were strangers making small talk, and lack of love was the biggest topic of them all.
“Tell me about you. You’re a promoter?” Grayson asked.
“Not at all,” she replied. “I was just filling in for a friend. I’m an event planner. I typically do much smaller events.”
“Well, maybe it’s time to level up. I mean, if tonight was any indication, I’d say you can handle it,” he said.
He was only speaking what she was feeling, but it felt amazing to have someone acknowledge it aloud.
“Yeah, I think so,” she smiled because she was proud of how she had commanded the night. “My exit’s right up here.” She pointed to direct him off the freeway. He eased out of traffic and onto the ramp that led to her street.
He pulled curbside, and Stassi turned to him.
“Thank you for the ride home.”
“You’re welcome, Anastassia,” he replied.
“Stassi,” she corrected. “It’s easier,” she shrugged.
“It’s okay for some things to be hard,” he answered. “You have yourself a good night.”
“You too, Grayson.”
She looked at the sticker on the windshield. “Better get back to Station 10 before they find out you’re using their fire truck to pick up girls,” she teased.
He laughed and nodded. “I think they would give me a pass.” Stassi waved goodbye before turning to walk into her building.
She heard the loud horn of the truck just as she stepped inside. She made her way to her door, and when she placed her key in the lock, she froze. The lock was already turned. She pulled her hand back like the door was hot to the touch.
It was like all her senses came alive at once, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. She pushed the door in slowly and eased into her home. There was a small glow coming from the hallway.
I know I didn’t leave that light on. Did I? She made her way to the knife block on her kitchen counter before easing down the hallway.
She took a deep breath before pushing forcefully into the guest room.
“Charlie?! Shit!”
Charlie practically jumped out of her skin.
“What are you doing here?” Stassi yelled as she placed the knife down on the dresser. “You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“I called you! I left you a message!” Charlie shouted, holding a hand to her chest and heaving in distress as she tried to calm down. “Bitch, what your butcher knife was gon’ do?”
“Stab a mu’fucka up if I needed to,” Stassi said, laughing as her anxiety subsided. Charlie fell into laughter, too, as she shook her head.
“That shit don’t work against no real robber, ho. You need a gun, living here by yourself,” Charlie said.
“Well, thank God I don’t have one tonight cuz your ass would be grass,” Stassi snickered. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you with Demi?”
“Demi didn’t come home, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t plan to,” Charlie said. “I really don’t know what to do. He lost his son, Stass. What am I supposed to do?”
“Not be here, Charlie,” Stassi said empathetically. Stassi sighed and sat on the end of the bed as Charlie sat up against the headboard. “You have to just be there for him.”
“How can I do that? He asked me to leave the hospital. He hasn’t even called me to update me. It’s going on four in the morning, and he’s not home.”
“Did you call him?” Stassi asked.
“I can’t call him. I don’t want him to think I’m down his back.
I want to give him space, but it feels so…
” Charlie paused. “I don’t know. It feels like…
” Charlie swiped away a tear as she lifted full eyes to Stassi.
Stassi could almost hear Charlie’s heart crushing under the weight of her fears. “Like he’s never coming back.”
“Charlie, he lost his son,” Stassi whispered. “I don’t have a kid, but I can imagine that he wants to die right now. He may not be home right now, but when he finally does walk through that door, he’s going to need you.”
Charlie nodded. “What if I can’t comfort him?” Charlie asked. “What if I’m to blame? He’s going to hate me. I love him so much, and I’m going to lose him to this. I can feel it. It’s already happening. When he put me in that car and sent me home, I felt the disconnect.”
“You felt grief. He probably can’t get to the love he feels for you through the clouds that are over his head right now, Charlie.
Don’t overthink this. He loved you before this happened.
It’s a tragedy. He won’t be the same for a while, but he’ll love you after.
Go home, girl. The last thing you need is for him to make it there and you’re gone.
I don’t even like Demi’s ass, but I know he needs your support through this. ”
“You’re right, and I know you’re right. So why does it feel wrong for me to be there with him through this?” Charlie asked.
Stassi sighed and rubbed the back of her neck.
“Okay, look, Charlie. I’ma keep it all the way real with you because I love you.
It’s gon’ sound real bitchy and judgmental because I been working all day and I’m tired, but I promise I hold no judgment.
The time for you to feel like this was wrong was when you were riding that married man’s dick.
He’s yours now. He’s divorced. He left his family for you.
You don’t need anybody’s permission to be present for your man in his time of need.
You asked for this, so put your big girl panties on and ride this shit out. ”
“It kind of sounds judgey, bitch. Like you done said this shit to somebody else before,” Charlie joked.
Stassi smiled. “Well, I warned you it was gon’ sound bad, shit. Now, go home! I’m exhausted, and I ain’t got the energy to talk to you all night about your insecurities that don’t even make sense. Catch me in the morning, and I’ll do the whole sister circle thing with you.”
Charlie crawled across the bed and wrapped Stassi in a hug.
“Call me if you need me,” Stassi said. “For real.”
She walked Charlie to the door. “Text me when you make it,” Stassi said.
“I will. Love you,” Charlie replied.
“I love you more,” Stassi answered.
Stassi locked the door and retired to her room. She didn’t envy Charlie at all. Demi was a dominant man. He was big, mean, and intimidating. She could only imagine what he was like when dealing with a pain he couldn’t control. She prayed Charlie could handle it.
“Couldn’t be me.”