Chapter Twenty Larissa #2
“I haven’t been at ease my whole fucking life because of men like you.
I was born a wolf, and so I don’t have the needs of sheep.
I don’t need your assurances. What I need at this point are real answers.
” Slowly standing to prepare myself, I glare down at him.
“So, yeah, I know your number well, Julien. Yours is the one we call when we want to make it hurt. And if I didn’t have your fucking number, I’d already be dead, if that was your intention.
That’s why he called on you to babysit me. ”
“You are exactly who I thought you would be,” he states, leaning back on his elbows, which does little to lower my rising guard.
“Glad this pleases you”—I cross my arms when he makes no attempt to move—“but like him, you’ve disappointed me.”
“I do have a heart, Larissa.” He expresses this as if he didn’t just admit he could execute me without an ounce of regret. As easily as Tyler would.
“We all have hearts,” I relay with a sigh, glancing over at the fire briefly. “I guess my question is, have you loved with yours?”
“I have every intention to,” he admits, though I can tell the question was almost too personal for him to give a reply.
“Oh yeah? And when will that be?”
“When does a man like me love?” He asks as if he’s posing the question to us both, his eyes going slightly distant as if it haunts him.
“I think the better question is, who does a man like you love?”
“Exactly,” he states with a nod. “Exactly.”
I study him for long seconds as he stares right back at me, unflinching.
“You know, I think your number might be a digit off from some of the others I’ve come across, so I suspect with you that you’ll know love when you find it.”
“I hoped it would be you.” He runs his eyes down my frame appreciatively, but not in a way that irritates me. “I must admit, I do love what I see.”
“Well then, I guess I’m sorry to disappoint you,” I say, wishing I did have a drink, anything to numb the irritation growing inside me.
As much as I wanted Julien as an ally—if only for a night—his tongue is just as forked, his blood capable of reaching arctic temperatures at will, even if I suspect he will use his beating heart one day.
Though capable, his blood is far redder than the black tar fueling the others of his kind.
The difference of a Raven from any other.
Somewhere amongst them, there is a line, I’m just not sure where that line is or how and when they decide to move it. “Looks like we let each other down.”
“Let’s not be too harsh, bella; after all, you are the enemy who knocked.”
“I’m not,” I state. “And therein lies our stalemate. No one fucking believes me.”
He considers me for a long moment. “What do you want with him?”
“I’m not sure anymore.” I lower my eyes, and just after, Julien softly says my name, his French lilt demanding but gentle.
“Larissa,” he insists again before I slowly lift my eyes to his. He weighs my expression for long seconds before giving me a dip of his chin. Instead of letting him focus on whatever he thinks he sees, I quickly move on.
“Do you know about Odin’s View?” I ask about Tyler’s daily report.
He stares back at me, mute, a Raven through and through, although his silence is answer enough.
“I guess my real question is, do you know the mythology behind it?”
He deciphers my words for long seconds, making it visible in his expression, in his eyes, that his wheels are turning, before he finally speaks. “Ah, you wish to be the wolf.”
His eyes prod me further as I watch him sort through the myth.
Legend has it, Odin was just as close with wolves as he was ravens.
His two companions, Geri and Freki, being his most beloved.
But Odin’s relationship with wolves was far more complicated.
Where Odin was concerned, a wolf could be viewed as either a loyal ally and companion or an apocalyptic creature.
Especially since a wolf was responsible for Odin’s demise.
A truth he doesn’t skirt around with his warning.
“With the wolf’s nature, this could become a very dangerous game. ”
“A game I want no part of, but I have never had a choice. As far as which wolf I am or will become, you know that doesn’t fucking depend on me.
” I bring my eyes to his once more so he can see that truth.
Hoping that he believes it. Because my fucking life currently depends on what he believes about me. “Will he listen to you?”
“Normally, yes,” he replies. “With you, it’s doubtful.”
“Why?” I ask.
“It’s just as you said. With you, he doesn’t want to hear it.”
“You don’t trust me, either,” I surmise.
“No,” he states evenly, and I weigh my words and the possibility that he could be the voice of reason I need when and if the time comes. “But don’t take offense to that, I don’t trust anyone.”
“Ever?” I ask.
“No,” he replies instantly. It’s then I see that that truth stems from some past damage that he has no intention of fixing.
“What will you do when you find love, Julien? You can’t love without trust.”
“Yes, you can,” he replies easily, too easily. It’s then I fear for any woman Julien’s heart decides on.
“Well, love or none between us, sadly, I have no choice right now but to trust you.”