Chapter Fifty Larissa #3
“Shortly after Tobias and Cecelia reconciled in that house in Virginia,” he resumes, as if we’re still in that bathroom, “Cecelia lured in the man responsible for ordering Dom’s death.
A man by the name of Antoine, whom Tobias partnered with in France, while starting to build our club.
But the more Tobias proved himself a powerful ally, the more Antoine started searching for leverage to keep Tobias in Paris permanently.
Sadly, during their time together, Tobias made the mistake of telling Antoine about a weakness in our club.
So, when Antoine got fed up that Tobias wouldn’t join him, he used it to escalate the situation.
In doing so, it triggered the worst imaginable fucking chain of events, and Dom died as a result. ”
His eyes go bleak with his next admission.
“I can’t even begin to explain how much time mattered then, and still does.
How we all regret not taking Dom’s warnings and sense of urgency more seriously.
How much we wish we would have tried harder to figure out what was torturing him day in and day out before he was killed.
Especially now,” he utters, his thumb stroking my hip more forcefully as his return stare threatens to fully metal over.
His resentment becoming clearer as he speaks.
“That mystery haunting us for years after he left us, because we couldn’t crack his laptop to see what he’d discovered.
But it wasn’t long after we finally took Antoine down that we managed to get in.
Horrifically bearing witness to exactly what tortured our brother before he died. ”
His eyes glisten in aftermath as he shakes his head. “These connections, Larissa, the threads, webs of fucking deceit, this cesspool of human beings who do so much evil … It’s all so closely knit, intertwined in a way that will always fucking haunt me. And now, I know it haunts you, too.”
I clench the rag in my hand, dread settling in. “Me? How?”
“I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately,” he rushes out apprehensively, “and I feel like you and I were destined to meet, no matter when we got to each other. Truth be told, I was always coming for you.”
“Why?”
“Because you are what tortured Dom the year before he died,” he explains, stopping his thumb before pressing it to the birthmark on my hip. “And this is what’s been torturing me since the first time I saw it.”
Going deathly still, I read both his admission and his fear.
Desperate to flee, I jerk back just as he grips my face in his hands.
“Listen to me, baby, please listen to me,” he urges feverishly as his eyes shimmer with vengeance and pain.
“I tracked down every single one of them and erased them from this fucking earth. Your and Alonzo’s secret is safe and always will be. I swear this to you.”
He holds my face steady between his palms, his thumbs gently brushing each of the tears spilling from my eyes.
“I didn’t make the connection until after we raided Ciro’s mansion and you and I imploded.
” His eyes search mine frantically. “It wasn’t a purposeful invasion of your privacy, I promise.
And I can’t imagine what you’re thinking or feeling right now.
Or how outraged you might be, and as much as you might hate that I know this, it only solidifies what I become more certain of by the second.
That you and I, we—” He curses as he shakes his head.
“That we were fated to meet at some point because we are so connected. Whether it be your curiosity about Roc, or me tracking those guns to Ciro, or me taking vengeance after discovering what I did on that laptop. By horrific circumstances, our meeting was inevitable. Which only makes me thankful for the way we did meet. Even if I regret the way I reacted to it with every breath I take. But I’m begging you to believe that I have never once been repulsed by you physically and never will be.
Especially by what you fell victim to. Even more so, I want you convinced that I will never let anyone hurt you like that, ever again. ”
“I won’t let anyone fucking hurt me like that ever again.”
His eyes fill with what can only be described as respect as he gently re-grips my face, tilting it up as he speaks.
“I know you won’t … You’re so fucking incredible,” he murmurs.
“So resilient. Even now, you’re looking back at me with so much fight, and I’m envious of it.
Jesus”—he closes his eyes briefly—“I’m such a fucking fool. ”
“Who was it?” I hiss, rage evident in the shake in my voice.
“I’ll tell you everything. Every detail, if you want them. I just want you to know that if there’s any trace left, I’ll find it and wipe it from this earth. I’ll take this secret to my grave, as will the only other birds who know—which are few. I swear this to you, okay?”
Long tense seconds pass as he keeps my face in his hands, refusing to let me shield the emotions running through me, until I finally dip my head into his cradling palms
“You’re okay with this?” he asks.
“It’s not like I have a choice.” I lower my eyes as he stills the pads of his thumbs on my jaw.
“You do now. Every freedom. Every fucking thing you want from this life. And I want you to have it, all of it. Any life you want for yourself. You deserve every choice. And if your choice isn’t me, I’ll stand back and protect whatever decision you do make.
And maybe if I guard your decisions and our babies long enough, you’ll believe me. ”
“I see your love for them, Tyler,” I admit. “I feel it.”
“You gave me everything,” he murmurs, “and owe me nothing. Sadly, those people assuring you I will be a good father and partner … know the heart of the boy and man I used to be,” he clips, seeming to fight emotion even as it bleeds from his every pore.
“Who used to be responsible, respectable. Who used to embrace what he felt. And mend things for others, especially things he didn’t break.
But now it’s him who’s broken every goddamn thing …
and as hard as he’s trying to dig himself out, most days he still feels lost,” he chokes out.
“Though it’s no excuse. But for you, and our babies, he’ll continue to fight every fucking day to get that man back.
For you, for them, I will salvage what I can. ”
Leaning forward, he presses his forehead to mine.
“I will earn the trust you’ve gifted me, even after I hurt you, this I promise.” He pulls back before gently releasing my face, eyes dimming.
“Okay.” He swallows. “That’s all I wanted to say.” Standing, he grunts, palming his side and stumbling toward the door. Chuckling an “ouch” as he reaches it.
“Tyler?” I call after him, unsure of what to say. He stills, hand on the knob, and glances back at me, eyes glistening. All words fail me as I gaze into the eyes of the man I sought out, and he stares right back at me, rendering me mute.
“It’s okay to choose the man who deserves you, and you should.
I might have deserved you at one point, but the truth is, I don’t now …
and I’ll understand if you don’t want to wait for me to salvage what’s left of him.
But know this, Larissa DiCicco, if you shaped yourself for me, I want to know and appreciate every part and would give anything for the chance to live that flesh-on-flesh life with you.
I’m so fucking sorry I ever made you believe otherwise.
” He opens the door and shakes his head before lifting his eyes once more.
“I know now that’s the true curse of being a convincing liar. ”
As he stalks out into the courtyard, my heart jerks in his direction, begging me to follow long after he disappears.