Chapter Fifty-Four Larissa #2
“Not for nothing, you saved us both.” He steps forward, palming the sides of the armoire and crowding me in, eyes rolling over my face and heaving chest. “And I couldn’t be more grateful for it.
Because you saved me, woke me up, you’re not alone in this anymore.
I have been fighting right alongside you and will continue to do so, so you will know that peace—enough to feel some of that contentment you seek,” he vows, commanding my eyes.
“Stop trying to console me and talking to me like I’m paranoid. We have a madman gunning for us. I told you how dangerous he is! You didn’t listen to me, and now our children have been threatened. I won’t just sit back and do nothing!”
“You’ve done plenty, and you need to trust in what you’ve built, which is incredible.
It’s hard right now because you feel like you’ve lost control, but that’s so far from the truth.
This, what you’re feeling, is temporary.
But for tonight—just for tonight—I need you to trust me and know you’re safe, and our babies are safe.
You’re scared, but you don’t have to be. ”
He gently takes the gun from my hand and places it in the armoire behind me. “I promise I’m not doing nothing, and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to do this alone anymore—and I won’t let you.”
Eyes watering, I slam my palms against his chest. “So full of pretty fucking words and promises now”—I glare through my tears—“but where were you!?”
Knowing it’s far more than my paranoia speaking now, his guilt-riddled eyes drop. “I’m sorry,” he rasps out mournfully. “And I will always be sorry.”
“That changes nothing, and now you’re here, months later, spewing all these promises and pretty words, eyes so full of—” I mute myself as his head snaps up.
“Of what, Larissa?”
“Move!”
“Eyes so full of what?” He presses in as I jerk my chin.
“Get out of my way!”
“No, tell me what you see in the expression of the man standing in front of you.”
I slam my palms against his chest. “Stop fucking lying to me!” I slap his chest again. “Stop trying to manipulate me, you bastard!”
“I’m not,” he declares, “and you know I’m not, and that scares you—”
“Can’t you see I’m done trusting? Hoping, fucking believing in anyone!”
“No, you’re not, and as it turns out, neither am I.
” He grips my face gently, eyes imploring, the look in them blinding as I slam my eyes shut.
“Look at me, Larissa DiCicco.” I keep my eyes lowered and shake my head furiously.
“Damnit, look at me, Larissa,” he commands, and I open my eyes and glare at him.
“I know you can see it, feel it, and it scares you, but it’s real, it’s real—”
Ripping myself away, I stumble back. “I’m not doing this with you … Just get out! Leave!”
“Never. I’m never leaving you again.”
“What in the fuck do you want from me!?” I scream as my heart begins to thrash in my chest, a surge of ache that I’ve spent endless months burying threatening to surface.
“Everything,” he counters, “everything that you gave me that you’re too terrified to trust me with again, but I’ll wait—”
His words die as my sweater hits the floor, his eyes smoldering over my exposed skin as I unhook my bra and toss it.
“What are you doing?”
“This is what you want, right? This is what you came for last time?”
“Don’t.” He jerks his chin, nostrils flaring as I heel off my boots while unbuttoning my jeans.
“Because it’s all I have left to give you, Marine,” I declare, peeling them off and tossing them between us.
Fists clenching, his eyes blaze a scorching trail down my body, following my every movement.
Nostrils flaring, it’s when I hook my fingers into the sides of my panties that he rushes me.
Within a blink, I’m lifted off my feet, his lips already crushing mine in a closed-lipped kiss as he stalks me toward my room.
Wrapping around him, I inhale his scent, his warmth, a desperate need surging as I frantically start to feed.
Frenzied, I kiss his jaw, licking along his Adam’s apple as he lowers me onto my bed.
His groan vibrating against my tongue until he breaks from me suddenly, pinning my wrists to the sides of my head, gently shaking his own.
“Don’t, we’re so much more than this.”
“No, we’re not.” I lift, drawing on his lip, biting into his cut as he hisses through his teeth. His cock hardening against my thigh as he pins me with his body, as I begin grinding myself against him.
“Damnit, Larissa, stop!” he croaks. “Fuck.”
“Why? Don’t want me anymore?”
“No, you’re punishing me perfectly,” he grinds out, eyes holding mine in refusal to feast.
“I guess things are a little too serious now. Can’t fuck and run anymore, huh?”
“Jesus,” he whispers gravelly, “you’re all I want. But you’re hurting, and not thinking,” he utters. “I’m trying to be the man you need.”
“You’re failing,” I snap.
“Then I’ll do better, but not like this. When you’re mine, when I earn you, I’ll give you anything you want. Say you’re mine.”
“I’m mine,” I declare. “I belong to no man—never will. Haven’t you seen my mother?” I snark. “Talk about a cautionary tale. You did your worst, though, didn’t you?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Fuck your apologies—leave.” I crack, my eyes betraying me as he stares down at me, his own shining with hurt.
“I’m so sorry. I’m trying so hard to prove myself. Tell me what to do.”
“Leave,” I croak, all the fight leaving me as I begin to rupture beneath him—the pain surfacing, beginning to swallow me whole. Agitated that he’s seeing my weakness for him, I withdraw. “Just leave! You never wanted me!”
“I didn’t mean it,” he murmurs, “and I’m never leaving you again.”
A surge of pain rolls through me as my eyes fill. “Right.”
“Baby, look at me. Please look at me.”
When I refuse him my eyes, he pins me with his body, holding me down with his weight. “You’re hurting us both. Release me. Free me. Let me give you everything. Tell me you’re mine.”
I shake my head back and forth furiously, the pain blurring my vision.
“Tell me what to do,” he pleads. “I’ll do anything—but I can’t, not like this.”
“Take it away,” I cry, “please just take it away,” I croak.
In the next instant, he’s thrusting his tongue into my mouth and catching my sob. I clutch him to me, wrapping my legs around him as he pulls back, driving his hips into me, hitting me perfectly through my panties.
“More,” I cry, arching against him as I blunt my nails down his back before ripping at his shirt.
“Goddamnit,” he croaks, beautiful features twisted as he fists his shirt off.
The second his heated skin touches mine, memories of us begin to swarm me.
Slipping my hand between us, I claw his jean-covered cock with his next thrust to see his eyes flare in warning.
His demand the same. “Say. You’re. Mine. ”
“I’m mine,” I vow, refusing him as I unbutton his jeans and manage to get them down just past his ass.
Cursing, he lowers them to his thighs, keeping his boxers on before pinning my wrists.
My hands captive, he plants his forearms on the sides of my head as he lines us up.
Eyes roaring, he thrusts himself against me so perfectly, we both start to untether.
My panties soaked and useless, I lose myself in the feel of him.
Selfishly taking the escape, I revel in the feel of his skin, in his weight atop me, in the pleasure he gives with every sure thrust of his hips.
It’s when he takes my mouth again, his tongue dominating, that I start to unravel.
His fevered kiss sweeping more of the pain away while re-stoking my longing for him.
Every desperate plunge of his tongue erasing the long months between us.
The heat emanating from him engulfing me in the warmth I’ve craved for so long.
Images of us flooding in—the feel of our first kiss against his front door.
The look of astonishment in his eyes when he sobered and took his first real look at me after.
Our gazes finding one another in that tent.
The smiles he tried so hard to hide, to bite away, and couldn’t.
The feel of him the first time he thrust into me.
His heated whispers as he claimed me. Our loss of control.
Every memory coming back more powerfully than the last. Details and moments I tried so hard to forget, to vanquish, emerge as another sob escapes me.
The most painful coming back so vividly as the firelight licks his profile, as he reveals himself to me—makes love to me.
It’s the look in his eyes, then and now, that has me cracking wide open.
My break beneath him stilling him, keeping him hovering above me as he maps my face, his palms covering me in his soothing touch.
“Please, baby. Free me, please say you’re mine.
It’s real, we are real,” he murmurs as he dips, and with his next kiss, he drives me straight back into the space we created.
Transported and molding inside it in seconds, as if we’ve never been apart.
Tongues hastening as we arrive there together.
Our bodies following desperately in memory of our intrinsic dance.
At the pull of it, I rip my lips away, but he reclaims them instantly, drawing me back to him.