Chapter 3
I stopped through the clubhouse on Saturday night. If someone had asked me why, I wasn’t sure what I would tell them. But I knew it was because I felt led to by the Holy Spirit. I wasn’t ashamed of my faith, but I didn’t go around knocking people over the head with it.
Most of the brothers in the club were at least somewhat religious. They didn’t all claim Christ as their savior, and that was cool, but I did.
I redefined my entire relationship with God after I lost my wife.
I had to. If it wasn’t for holding onto God and the knowledge that only He could get me through my mourning, I would probably be somewhere slumped right now.
But no matter their denomination or religious affiliation, I had love for my Braveheart Brothers.
I accepted them, did my best to guide them, and never judged them.
Smitty, one of the founders of the club, stopped me as soon as I walked into the clubhouse. “What’s good, B?” We exchanged the club’s handshake. “I wondered if you were stopping through tonight.”
“Oh yeah? What’s up? You need to talk?”
“I need you to pray. Send up some timber for my mother. She went back into the hospital today. They just can’t seem to get her medication right, and it’s messin’ with her heart.”
His eyes told me everything I needed to know. My guy was scared. “Let’s go over here.”
We walked to a quiet corner of the main room. The room mostly went unused. The brothers preferred to gather in the back of the house. That room was set up more like a lounge—there was a bar, full size arcade games, two pool tables, foosball, and a dartboard.
The main room was set up more like a formal living room. We walked over to the fireplace. “Mom’s a Christian, right?”
He gave a soft chuckle. “She would beat my ass if I had you pray to anybody but Jesus about her.”
I smiled, stood in front of him, and placed one hand on his shoulder. “Father of the living God.” I began to pray.
After I prayed with Smitty, I walked through the house looking for KD. I found him in the back with the other brothers, talking shit and halfway watching a baseball game. I spoke to everybody but walked right up to KD. We exchanged dap. “Say, can I get at you for a minute?” I asked him.
His eyes were cautious. “Yeah.”
We left the back room and walked to the front of the house where I had just prayed for Smitty.
“What’s up?” he asked me.
“I wanna get at you about Eastley.”
That, of course, got his attention. “What about her?”
“She talked to me last night. I’m not sure if you know this, but she’s really struggling, dawg.”
He huffed out a sigh. “Yeah, I know. It’s in her eyes, man.
They look tired as hell. I don’t know what to do.
I want her close by so I can, you know .
. . protect her. But I feel like she might be getting worse.
She’s so damn jumpy. Asia and I can barely pop the top on a can of beer without East looking like she’s about to come out of her skin. ”
“It’s the house, dawg.”
“The house? What you mean?”
“It’s the constant revving of the motorcycles. It’s the brothers in and out with their loud voices. It’s the weekly parties with the music, the yelling, the laughter. That’s all too much for her nervous system. She needs quiet. She needs calm, peace.”
He started to speak, but I stopped him. “I know. I know. She needs protection. Covering. And you worry about her.” I released the huge sigh that had been building. “She told me what was going on, and without even thinking about it, or talking to you first, I offered her my extra bedroom.”
Relief was not the expression I expected to see on his face, but there it was.
“Shit.” He exhaled. “Okay. If she can’t be with me, you know you’re the only other person I would trust to look after her.
And your house is quiet as hell. It’s the perfect solution.
” He laughed. “Did she say when she was thinking about doing this?”
“Nah. Honesty, I think she was nervous about talking to you about it. I told her I would talk to you.”
“Well, I’m with it. I’ll let her know that we can make this happen as soon as possible.
” He paused. “I don’t want it to seem like I’m excited to get her out.
You know how I feel about East. That’s my baby.
I love that girl. But watching her slowly deteriorate is killing me on the inside.
You’re the chaplain, B. You’ve got that pipeline to God.
Hopefully, between you and Him, y’all can help bring my little sister back to life. ”
I chuckled. “I don’t know about me being able to bring her back to life, but I’ll definitely give her someplace quiet and peaceful where she can lay her head.”
He embraced me. “Thanks, bro.”
Sunday morning, I started the day in the garden. I had a small flower garden where I grew peonies, roses, ranunculus, marigolds, and a few other flowers.
Growing up, my grandparents owned a small floral business.
They didn’t own a brick-and-mortar store in their southern Kentucky hometown, but they owned a nice sized garden.
Their neighbors came to them for flowers for every occasion, from weddings to funerals.
They provided corsages, boutonnieres, bouquets, and everything else in between, all from a small stand my grandfather built by hand.
When I visited during the summers, I would be put to work.
When I met Teagan, she was intrigued by the thought of a big, burly guy like me having hands gentle enough to handle flowers without destroying them.
She said hands like that made her feel safe because she knew, no matter what, I would always handle her with care.
She thought it was sexy. It blew my ego up that she found that shit sexy, so I never told her that flowers didn’t really require that much gentle of a touch.
They were hardier than most people thought.
I picked a quick selection and prepared them for later in the day. After a shower and a bowl of cereal, I headed to church.
I left Sunday service and went straight to the cemetery.
It was my Sunday ritual. I parked in the lot, then grabbed the bucket of supplies and the flowers I’d prepared from the passenger seat of my pickup.
The cemetery was a popular Sunday pastime in and around Sweet Jackson.
After church, it almost looked like the park.
Some families set up whole picnic spreads and spent the afternoon with their departed loved ones.
I wasn’t on that. When I reached Teagan’s final resting place, I started cleaning. I swept grass and foliage from around the headstone.
“What’s good, beautiful?” I asked into the wind.
“First of all, I miss you. It’s hard as hell down here without you.
Second of all, thank you for watching over me and for going to God on my behalf.
They say time heals all wounds, but that ain’t really true.
I’m not healed, but I’m pushing. Every day I’m pushing to keep being the person doing the work.
I’m still teaching the kids self-control and self-defense.
Still teaching the women self-defense and self-protection.
I’m still being the sounding board for the club.
Things are good, . . . but at the same time, they suck.
I wish you were here living this life with me.
Walking this mile with me. I know it ain’t possible.
God called you back to Him.” I huffed out a frustrated sigh that was steeped in helplessness.
“Here’s your flowers.” I took the wilted ones from the holder and replaced them with the fresh ones.
“I love you and miss you forever and always.” With that, I kissed my fingers and placed them on her headstone, then walked back toward the parking lot.
When I left the cemetery, I considered going straight home, even though I didn’t have anything pressing to do. Still, I was surprised when my truck made a right-hand turn and headed toward the part of town where KD lived.
I parked in his driveway alongside about fifteen bikes.
I could feel myself getting annoyed, as I imagined just how many brothers were in the house and what the volume inside the house was.
Eastley was probably in there, and it was probably loud as hell, although KD and I had talked the day before about how badly she was struggling.
I took the porch stairs two at a time. I knocked a few times, knowing they couldn’t hear me over the talking and laughter.
When I tried the knob, the door opened. I stepped inside and saw brothers spread out all over the living room.
There were brothers on the sofa, on the loveseat, and on the floor.
They were doing what the brothers did: laughing, smoking, talking, joking, and vibing.
There was nothing wrong with the brothers enjoying themselves .
. . except that my eyes found Eastley. She stood next to Asia, arranging the food that would be served.
But her eyes? The defeated, fearful . . .
strangled look in them made the need to protect her almost overtake me.
Hadn’t I just talked to KD about Eastley needing peace?
The brothers greeted me. I pulled my attention from Eastley and put it on them, trying to calm my pounding heart.
“Yo, your ears must’ve been burning,” KD joked. “We were just talking about you. Actually, we were talking about the Heritage Ride.”
The brothers were riding to the sight of one of the most significant Civil Wars battles to celebrate the Union Army getting the victory on the Saturday before Memorial Day. It would be my first club ride since the ride where I got the call about Teagan.
I nodded my acknowledgment.
“You’re still doing the blessing of the bikes, right?” the club’s new road captain, Avery Green, asked.
“Hell yeah,” I commented, making everybody chuckle.
I had definitely pulled back from the club after I lost my wife, and I stayed to myself for a good minute.
But now that I was back, and as the chaplain, no less, there was no way in hell I was letting my brothers ride without praying a blessing over them.
“If I don’t do shit else, I’m blessing the bikes. ”
“Good to hear,” KD said, nodding his head.
“I didn’t come to interrupt your meeting. I came to grab Eastley. I wanna show her the spot. Make some arrangements.”
KD gave another nod.
I left them in the living room and joined the women in the kitchen. “What’s up, Miss Asia?”
She gave me a grin. “Hey, Bishop. Shouldn’t you be in the living room with the brothers?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I came to grab Eastley. It’s time she got a look at the house.”
Asia eyed her friend. “A look at the house? What house? Whose house?”
Eastley gave her a sheepish grin. “I forgot to tell you I’m moving into Quentin’s extra bedroom.”
“Uh, who the fuck is Quentin?”
That caused both Eastley and me to laugh. “Bishop.” Eastley jabbed her thumb in my direction. “You thought his first name was Bishop?”
Asia eyed Eastley, then me. “No offense, hon. But I never really thought about whether Bishop was your first or last name. All I know is that it’s what I call you.” Her attention fell back on Eastley. “But it’s interesting that you know his government name.”
She waved Asia off. “Whatever, man. Anyway, I’ll be back.”
Asia nodded. “This is good. Thanks, Bi—Quentin. Please take her somewhere quiet and calm. Because if she jumps one more time when somebody laughs too loud, I’mma be the one taking a Xanax.”
We arrived at my house. It was a one story, slate blue cottage with white trim.
The front porch was wide and made for sitting.
I’d helped with building it when I was in the throes of my grief from losing Teagan.
I needed something to do with myself and something other than my loss to concentrate on.
“It’s so cute,” she said with a grin.
“Yeah, well don’t get too happy. The outside’s the best part.”
We stepped inside. “Oh. Okay. Is brown your favorite color?” she asked after taking in the space.
It was an open floor plan, so when you stepped into the house, you could see the great room and the kitchen. The walls were painted beige, and the kitchen cabinets were white oak. She was right. It was a lot of brown.
“Nah.” I laughed. “The painter told me he would give me a deal if I chose a color he already had on hand. He had a hell of a lot of agreeable beige.”
She laughed too.
“One day I’ll get around to repainting it or having it repainted. Right now, it’s not really a priority. Let me give you a tour.” I showed her the kitchen, the pantry, the powder room, the laundry room, the door to my bedroom, and finally her bedroom.
She looked around the guest bedroom. “Beige paint aside, it’s really nice, Quentin.”
It was a good-sized room with two windows on the back wall that looked out onto the lake.
“It doesn’t have a bathroom. You’ll have to use the bathroom in the hallway.”
“That’s okay.”
“But the big closet kinda makes up for that.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I bought it as a single dude. I wasn’t thinking about en suite bathrooms in the guest room.”
She gave me soft eyes. “I know. You had other things on your mind.” She walked over and peeked inside the walk-in closet.
She left the closet, going to stand in front of one of the windows before turning to face me.
“It’s peaceful here. I think I’ll be able to reset my nervous system here, .
. . hallway bathroom and all. Thanks for offering it to me, Q. ”
“You’re welcome. And if the beige isn’t calming, we can change it.”
She cocked her head to the side. “I’m not trying to be a pain. You shouldn’t have to change your house for me.”
I stared at her silently for a few seconds. “Goin’ along to get along is what had you feeling stressed the hell out at KD’s place. What would be the purpose of me moving you in just to put you in the same predicament? We’re painting the walls. Choose a color; I’ll start next week.”
“Don’t you guys have the Heritage Ride next Saturday?”
I nodded. “Yeah, we do. I’ll start when we get back.”
She hesitated. “You have work. You’re gonna come home from work, all tired and exhausted, and paint a bedroom?”
I grinned at her concern. “First of all, my work isn’t all that exhausting, E. Secondly, it’s a bedroom. It’s gonna take, what, a few hours, tops?”
“I’ll come over here and tape off the room. That part always takes forever.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know. I want to.”
I sighed because she had that look on her face that told me she was gonna keep pushing. “I’ll get you a key.”
She grinned. “Cool. So uh, do you have a back porch? Can we sit out there and watch the water?” She looked so hopeful.
“Yeah. You hungry? I can make us some sandwiches.”
“Starving.”