30. Vi
vi
. . .
Ren held the door of the town car open for me as we arrived at the cemetery. The irony that the Lower City didn’t offer burial services wasn’t lost on me, forcing my vampire companions to wear sunglasses and shield themselves with parasols even in the gloom of the last few cloudy days of winter.
Though part of me balked at the idea of a visit when Ren suggested it—why would I want to see the grave of the woman who didn’t offer me the courtesy of saying goodbye?—another part of me still longed for the opportunity to say the things I’d been carrying since I’d opened that safety deposit box and began to remember the vampire that’d turned my entire world upside down.
Usually for the better.
And I guessed now that I’d had some times to think it over, that it had been for the better this time too.
But… I needed closure. And after what we’d been through, I was pretty damn sure the rest of my coven needed it too.
Dana, Elsie, and Juniper waited for us patiently at the end of the gravel path, our little fivesome dressed in black as we began the journey toward the Aubert mausoleum. The small, loose stones crackled under my feet, sounding like thunder in the eerie quiet. A cacophony of crunching underfoot as we walked in unison.
Everything felt…. heightened. The beating of my heart, the wind whistling through the trees. The stick of my hair in my lip gloss. All of it.
Sort of like... Graduation . The kind of event where you’re both immediately aware is bigger and also less exciting than you fully understand in the moment.
Saying goodbye to Cherie was going to be difficult, but it was also necessary. I wasn’t going to be able to let go until I’d taken the time to remember and hold close first.
That’s what today was all about.
I turned toward Juniper, who’d taken the hand Ren wasn’t holding. It sounded crazy, but it was almost like I could sense her presence, even when she wasn’t there.
A few moments later, we all came upon a polished black marble stone, carved with Cherie’s name embossed in gold letters. It was a bit gaudy but perfect for her. If I had to guess, I would say Elsie chose it. She always did love a bit of flair and would’ve encouraged the other girls to have a bit of fun with it.
Make it less depressing, if they could.
Though I’d spent the last week trying to come to terms with it, seeing the stone really solidified she was gone.
Dana approached first, running her hand over the top of the stone.
“We miss you every day, Cher; I hope you know that.” She still had her classic stoic look, but her eyes shone with care.
Next was Elsie. She had brought a bundle of beautiful red roses. “I brought your favourite, it’s been a while since you bought them for all of us… thought I should return the favour.” She smiled a little, though it didn’t touch her eyes. “You weren’t fooling anyone, baby, we knew they were your faovurite and you just wanted to look at them.” She let out a tearful giggle as she bent to place the flowers infront of the stone. “And we liked that too, for the record. Seeing you happy.” She stepped away and moved to stand next to Dana, leaning into her to rest her head on her shoulder.
Ren went next. She stood in silence for a long moment, her dark eyes tracing the indentations in the stone. I realised she didn’t know what to say, but I knew she was all up in her thoughts, and we all gave her the space to do that.
Then Juniper approached. She’d been the most apprehensive to come, still troubled by the manipulation and lying no matter how many times she watched Cherie’s message.
I couldn’t blame her… It was… A lot.
She stood there for a long moment, her auburn hair blowing behind her in the wind.
“I want to be mad at you,” she started. “I want to be so mad at you, but I can’t. I’ve never had trouble holding a grudge, except when it came to you. I couldn’t do it while you were alive, and I can’t do it now.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “Though I wish you had told us, I still love you so deeply.”
She stepped away, and finally, it was my turn. I didn’t even know what I would say. Tried my best not to think about it, honestly, and when I did, none of it sounded right. It was like I couldn’t articulate how I felt.
Maybe Ren had the right approach to this.
But as I moved toward the grave and kneeled in front of it, letting the dew of the grass sink into the knees of my jeans, I suddenly knew.
I pressed my hand against the stone, just needing to feel closer.
“Thank you. You did something so… difficult to save me. A decision I don’t know if anyone else could have made. You gave me my peace, and you gave me my coven back, and I will be grateful for that every day.”
Tears once again began to fall from my eyes.
“Even so, I’m still so mad I didn’t get to say goodbye. I feel like you took that from me. I couldn’t be there to make you soup or kiss your injuries, or whatever you do for sick people.” A breathy laugh left me at that. “I want you to know that I’ll always protect the girls, the club, everything you held dear. And I’ll never take this gift you gave us for granted. We love you. I love you, and your legacy will live on, I promise you that.”
With that, I stood. The grass stains on my knees were a temporary reminder that’d wash away with a warm bath and a glass of wine the moment I stepped foot into our apartment. It was hard to feel too guilty about it; I was sure this wouldn’t be the last time we’d visit the woman who had turned us from strangers into family… twice.
Strangers. Lovers. Strangers again.
And then, against all odds, finding each other and falling back into love like no time had ever passed at all.
I turned, taking a moment to fully take in the sight of my coven. One of Juniper and Dana’s arms was wrapped around Elsie’s shoulders as she wept, the other shielding their sensitive skin and eyes from the dim sunlight peeking between the clouds. Ren crouched to make eye contact as she spoke to her softly, a tattooed hand reaching up to gently wipe away the tears sliding down her cheeks.
“Ready to go?” Dana called, jerking her head for me to join them.
“Yeah. Hey, Elsie, do you want to go get some ice cream?” I offered, joining my family with arms outstretched.
Elsie darted forward, wrapping herself around my centre, head thunking heavily down onto my chest. “Raspberry cheesecake?”
“Is there any other flavour?” I asked in mock horror, earning myself a watery laugh.
“No.”
“Didn’t think so.”
I kept an arm around her waist, leading her back down the path with Dana jogging to keep the parasol over Elsie.
Ren joined us on my other side, her hand sliding over my wrist before her fingers hooked into my bracelet momentarily. A reminder of who I belonged to.
The family I’d found.
I looked up into the vampire’s face, her dark monolid eyes and the flat bridge of her nose. Beautifully handsome, even more so than the first day I’d seen her in that coffee shop.
Or even before that, when we first met as I’d stumbled into O barely able to walk in my heels to demand a job.
And for the first time, in a really, really long time… I wasn’t worried about my next rent payment. If my mom was going to be okay. If I’d still have to crash on Kaylee’s couch.
The only thought that remained was whether or not Ren would hog all the covers that night.
And that was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
I mean… What’s eternity without a little compromise?