Chapter 16
THORNE
Against my better judgment, I let Calder hold me. The feel of his arms around me and the sound of his heartbeat thumping beneath my cheek grounded me. They chased away the memories currently haunting me and the brutal echo of Cassian’s words resonating in my ears.
Calder ran his fingers through my hair and stroked my back until eventually my breathing slowed and my pulse calmed.
He’d just dragged me back from the edge of a full-blown panic attack, and a shaky, exhausted wave of gratitude washed over me.
Usually, these episodes left me a blubbering mess curled in a tight ball, and sometimes it took hours for the effects to wear off.
With him, the terrifying free-fall had simply stopped.
But I couldn’t get used to this.
Calder might have left to protect us—me—but he hadn’t told me what the future held. I had no idea what happened next, or if he even planned to stay in Eternity Falls once this whole mess came to an end.
He claimed stealing this artifact from the Ravenspells was his last job for Evander.
But guys like Evander didn’t just let their best thieves walk away.
Why would a power-hungry human voluntarily surrender an asset like Calder, especially when more artifacts could theoretically make him stronger and more dangerous?
So long as Evander continued threatening to expose me and my family to the government, my husband would never truly be free. And even if Evander did let Calder go, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t return years later with the same threats. The same demands.
I’d told Calder I would help him steal the artifact from the Ravenspells, but standing here against his chest, I silently added a second item to our to-do list: freeing Calder from Evander.
I had a few options, such as paying him off.
Perhaps finding some dark secrets of his own to blackmail him with.
But none of those guaranteed Evander wouldn’t return looking for another payout down the road.
I only saw one way of guaranteeing Calder’s freedom.
I’d never killed a human before, but I would do whatever I had to.
Conceptualizing murder would have to wait for another day, though.
Because right now, I just wanted to close my eyes, breathe in Calder’s scent, and allow him to hold me.
Just for a moment. Before it all inevitably came crashing down again.
I let out a long, exhausted sigh, my muscles practically melting against him as I unconsciously tucked my face deeper into the crook of his neck. I gave myself another moment to enjoy it, then slowly loosened my hold on him and pulled back before he could stop me.
The second cool air touched my face, I missed the heat and feel of him, and that alone was irritating enough to stiffen my spine. I slipped out of his arms and put a sliver of space between us, then another, ignoring the way my knees still felt shaky.
With my gaze fixed on the middle of his chest, I straightened my shirt and smoothed my hair while attempting to regain whatever remained of my dignity.
My voice, when I found it, came out rougher than I wanted. “I’m fine.”
The lie hung there between us, paper-thin and embarrassing.
When I finally met his gaze, Calder was watching me with an infuriatingly soft expression, one that made me bite my bottom lip to keep from cussing him out. That look—the same one I’d seen in the eyes of almost every townsperson—always set my blood boiling.
I folded my arms over my chest, more shield than posture. “Don’t,” I said quietly.
His brow furrowed. “Don’t what?”
I let out a breath that trembled at the edges and hated that he probably noticed. “Look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m broken.”
His expression changed then, something tightening in it, but his voice stayed maddeningly calm. “You had a panic attack, Thorne.”
If he thought that was a panic attack, then he’d never seen one in real life. Real ones came with a lot more tears, snot, and trembling.
“Trust me, I’ve had worse.”
Calder frowned. “What do you mean? Worse how?”
I simply shrugged. I wasn’t in the mood to get into that right now.
Instead, I glanced away from him and focused on the damaged desk.
My father wouldn’t be happy when he saw it—if he ever saw it.
My parents rarely visited Eternity Falls anymore, too busy traveling the world and spending their wealth.
Maybe I could get it fixed. Hell, he probably wouldn’t even notice if I replaced the whole thing.
“Thorne, talk to me,” Calder said.
I ignored him. I didn’t want to talk right now.
In fact, all I wanted to do was curl up on a couch with some ice cream before tracking down my dumbass brother and using his head as a soccer ball.
He should have known better than to dredge up my pain like that.
But he’d done it to hurt Calder, not realizing that it’d hurt me too.
I’d just been collateral damage. So, fuck him.
If he wanted to play dirty like that, we’d play.
I’d remind him exactly why he used to hate me when we were kids.
“Please don’t push me away,” Calder said.
“I’m not,” I said, sighing. “I just… I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“This.” I gestured vaguely between us, at the room, at the space between us. “I hate falling apart like that because of one memory. Because of one moment. Because of him.” My hand drifted toward my side before I caught it and dropped it fast.
Calder didn’t interrupt. For once, he had the good sense to keep his mouth shut.
Over the past few months, Izzy had told me I needed to talk to someone about everything I’d gone through.
She believed it would lessen the power it held over me.
I hadn’t told anybody the entire story. Oh, everyone knew bits and pieces.
Enough to know how damaged I was now. But I hadn’t told anyone everything.
I’d kept all the nitty gritty details to myself.
And as a result, the truth had burrowed its way inside me so deeply, I was starting to wonder if it would ever let go.
Maybe Izzy was right. Maybe I did need to talk to someone.
I simply couldn’t imagine walking into a therapist’s office and just bearing my soul to them.
But maybe I could talk to Calder? He was my mate, my husband, after all.
If I could trust one person in this world, it should be him.
And while he’d left me without warning or telling me why, at least now I knew it’d been to protect me.
It hadn’t been for selfish reasons. That had to mean something, right?
Holding onto this secret hurt. It pained me every time someone brought it up.
It seemed unfair that anyone—even family—should have that kind of power over me.
I truly doubted I’d ever get to a place where I could speak openly and freely about what’d happened, but there had to be a way to take that power away from others.
I didn’t want to hear the whispers anymore.
I didn’t want to flinch at shadows anymore. Was it so much to ask for my life back?
I desperately wanted things to be as they were. Before that night.
Decision made, I swallowed hard. The lingering taste of adrenaline was still thick on the back of my tongue. I picked a spot on the wood paneling just over his left shoulder to stare at and said, “It happened a few months ago.”
Calder immediately took a step forward and reached for me. “Whoa. Thorne. You don’t have to tell me anything if you aren’t ready.”
I bit my inner bottom lip and considered his words. He’d given me an out, permission to nod and walk away. A gaping exit on a silver platter. But if I did that, it would be just more of the same. More hiding. More jumping in the dark. More flinching when someone looked at me a little too long.
I knew how my town worked. Eternity Falls didn’t keep secrets—it spread them like wildfire.
Everyone knew everyone’s dirty business.
Just like how I knew Miss Hannigan enjoyed partaking in a little too much of her own experimental “mood-altering” botanical teas.
Or how Silas kept a secret ledger under his front desk specifically tracking who snuck into what room to spend time with which company.
Or how Mr. Halloway kept a secret stash of Victorian romances hidden behind the “forbidden” section of the occult archives for his own personal perusal.
In a town where the clocktower changed colors based on the town’s mood and the gossips had more stamina than a marathon runner, trying to keep a near-death experience private was like trying to hold back the tide with a sieve.
I couldn’t imagine it would be much longer before someone blurted out their version of the truth to him the next time he ventured into the Moonlit Café or the Hex Mex.
“It happened a few months ago,” I repeated, my body already shaking as I struggled to find the right words. “And it wasn’t a random attack. It was a vampire named Trystan—Isadora’s former mate. Before Lucien.”
I wasn’t looking at Calder, but out of the corner of my eye, I caught the almost imperceptible tightening of his jaw.
“She and Trystan had been together for a century. A hundred years shared, and then he not only cheated on her, but bankrupted her and her family. It was quite the scandal, one that resulted in Isadora breaking their mating bond. Unfortunately, Trystan wasn’t willing to accept that, and he followed her here. ”
I took a deep breath and centered myself. My heart was racing and all my little hairs stood on end. This would be the hardest part. But I could do this—I had to.
“He broke into the bar, vandalized her room, shredded everything she owned. I don’t know what he hoped to gain from that. Maybe nothing.”
I finally met Calder’s stare. “Did you know breaking a mating bond can make you insane?”