Chapter 4 #2
“The chairs?” I asked. “There’s a small blow-up kiddie pool a couple of feet away. During the summer, a couple of guys from this building create a neat vacation spot for themselves here, including a blow-up palm tree and all.”
It’d been great to see, but awful because they’d stayed up here until the middle of the night.
Fortunately for me, they’d been chill dudes, and no one had questioned where I’d come from when I’d first dropped by.
After a couple of days, I’d been accepted as part of the group.
Hell, I still got invited to game nights.
“No. The way you instantly relaxed when you saw your guy. Physically and mentally. I felt your anxiety decreasing through our bond.”
I shrugged, combing a hand through my hair. Sometimes our bond freaked me out a bit. Like now. It was so weird that he could feel what I was feeling. Granted, he only felt very strong emotions, but still.
“How come I’ve never noticed this anxiety over the years? I mean, I kept a close eye on you and frequently checked in to see if you were stable. Still, I’ve never experienced you like this.”
Kneading my hands, I looked over at Finn’s apartment. He’d finished preparing his food and sat on his bed, a plate of fucking toast next to him.
Would leaving groceries cross a line? I could buy lots of food that was rich in iron. Maybe even add a few printed recipes for him.
“Eric?”
Oh, right, I’d never answered.
“It wasn’t this bad in the beginning,” I admitted. “Honestly, it wasn’t this bad until I actually talked to him. Until I tasted him. It’s like… I don’t know… actually getting in contact with him cranked my need to watch over him up to full volume. My mind keeps screaming at me.”
I sighed, pulling at my hair.
“I want to talk to him again, but I can’t risk it.”
Bennie rolled his eyes. “The drugging part was an accident.”
I nodded and then shook my head. “Maybe. But that’s not it. Well, it’s not the only reason. I want to keep him far away from this world.”
“Yeah, but no one is suggesting you tell him all about vampires. You could just… be friends? See where things go? Having a human lover is not unusual, you know. Maybe for you, but not for vamps in general. And maybe you could get rid of your obsession by actually getting to know him.”
I laughed, but it sounded as hollow and dejected as I felt.
“If I could fucking lie to him, maybe I would. But since it appears to me I can’t, I don’t want to risk it. Besides, I thought you’d tell me to stay the fuck away from him.”
Bennie snorted. “Would you listen to me?”
I shook my head.
No, no, I definitely wouldn’t.
Even if he chained me up in his basement—which he’d done for the first two days—I’d find a way.
“That’s what I thought.” He sighed, and for a moment he looked older than he usually did. Vampires didn’t age—I knew that—but to me, it appeared that I was really doing a number on him.
Which wasn’t my intention. It wasn’t like I was going out of my way to worry him.
Silence spread between us.
I let my eyes wander, taking in our surroundings.
Night had firmly fallen. The moon hung high in the sky, casting its pale light down onto the city that shone brighter with light pollution.
There weren’t really any pitch-black places to be found here.
Maybe a couple of alleys, but that was it.
The streets were all illuminated. Cars drove by occasionally, the tires squelching on the wet asphalt.
Finn had finished his toast but was still drinking from his massive coffee cup. It was way too late for him to drink what was probably an obscene amount of caffeine.
Maybe I should let him know that the acid in coffee was bad for his stomach—especially if he was suffering from gastritis.
I watched helplessly as Finn jumped to his feet, slapping a hand in front of his mouth as he ran for the door that led to his bathroom. He was throwing up. Fuck. Things were getting bad.
It was gastritis; it had to be. The signs were there, but he was fucking ignoring them. And me. He was risking his health out of sheer stubbornness.
Balling my hands into fists, I counted the seconds until he emerged from his bathroom, eyes shiny, skin blotchy, as if he’d been crying. Or, you know, violently throwing up.
He grabbed a glass out of his pantry, filled it with water to rinse his mouth, and then took a mug, filling it with water and putting it in the microwave.
No tea in this world would be able to fight off his gastritis, but it was definitely a better choice than coffee.
“Can we come back to the not being able to lie part?” Bennie said. I jumped at his words, clutching my heart. How the fuck had I managed to forget he was here with me? “Do you not want to lie to him?”
“No. I wanted to, but I couldn’t.” I sighed, my eyes still firmly trained on Finn.
Could I get him the meds he needed?
Well, yeah, I knew exactly what’d help him.
I’d have to break into a pharmacy, though, but that should be easy enough.
I couldn’t imagine they did much to secure antacids.
Sure, I could get him Prilosec, but the dosage probably wouldn’t be strong enough to fight off a fully fledged gastritis attack.
Still, it’d be best if he consulted an actual doctor.
“What do you mean by that?”
Exasperated, I turned to Bennie. “The words wouldn’t come out of my mouth, okay? I wanted to lie, but I physically wasn’t able to.”
Bennie’s eyes widened, but I wasn’t in the mood for any more revelations or questions.
“It was weird, okay?” I said, watching like a hawk as Finn placed a tea bag in his mug of hot water. Peppermint. Not the best choice there was, but not the worst either.
Fresh groceries and a couple of different teas wouldn’t hurt him, right? And he definitely wouldn’t be able to just crumple and throw them away.
“I have an idea of what could be going on,” Bennie finally said, placing a hand on my shoulder. “But I need to talk to a couple of people to confirm.”
I sighed. “Is it really that important, what exactly might be going on? I don’t care. I just want to keep him safe, and nothing you find out about me being unable to lie will change the fact that I need to make sure he’s okay.”
Bennie sighed. “But what if it did?”
Finn climbed under his covers, pulling his comforter up to his nose. His tea stood on the floor next to his bed. He looked so miserable, his cheeks still splotchy, the bags under his eyes becoming more and more pronounced by the day.
“If it changes how I feel about him… I’m not sure I want to know.”
No matter how weird whatever was going on between us was, I didn’t want it to end. I didn’t want to lose him. Ever.
And that meant making sure he wasn’t digging himself an early grave by ignoring his body and my advice.