Chapter 29
Killer Clown
My head propped up with pillows on the bed, I checked my phone.
Ethan hadn’t sent me a word today. Sighing, I grabbed the dark romance book I was reading.
Even a twelve-inch cock couldn’t keep me gripped.
How did a twelve-inch cock even fit? I put the book down and cupped my fingers together, trying to work out what the size would look like.
A cucumber, no bigger, a candle, and not a tapered one, a large glass one but longer.
It would be like giving birth every time you had sex.
Surely, your flaps would end up so loose they’d be clapping every time you walked.
Like your own little personal cheer squad.
I chuckled at the thought. Reaching over, I opened the bedside drawer and took out my ring.
The last gift my mother gave me. It was beautiful, with delicate etching on the gold, and a bright emerald stone.
I twirled it in my palm. Now that I was used to the vibration of my powers, when I held the ring, I could feel them slide away, dull to nothing. I felt … empty without them.
I sat the ring on my bedside table, frustrated by being cooped up.
Bored. Lonely. Annoyed I’d been sent to my room like a child.
My stomach rumbled. Surely, he didn’t expect me not to eat.
I climbed out of bed and headed back downstairs.
Music thumped through the ballroom doors and covered the sound of my steps.
I didn’t go to the kitchen. I craved fresh air.
I craved freedom. My chest churned with restlessness.
Weeks of being stuck in the house had taken its toll.
I slipped out of the door and paused on top of the stairs, my eyes taking in the syrupy glow of sunset spreading across the horizon like a phoenix’s wing.
It was breathtaking, but even the sunset couldn’t soothe me tonight.
A walk might help; a run would be better.
I slipped left, along the side of the house.
Voices from around the corner halted my legs.
“Come on, old friend, now that we are alone, tell me why that witch stains your presence?” Rodney said.
My fingers curled, digging into my palms. I held my breath and waited for Karson to growl and put him back in the box he’d crawled from.
“I have told you,” Karson responded, hardly a growl, not even a trace of annoyance in his tone. “She is my business.”
I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help myself. They were talking about me, after all. It would be naive not to. I pressed against the wall and listened.
“Do you forget witches are our enemies?”
“You were the enemy once too, if my memory serves me correctly,” Karson stated casually.
Rodney snorted. “I was never the enemy. I’ve always been loyal to you. I will always be loyal to you.”
I’m loyal too, asshole, I wanted to cry out.
There was a long moment of silence, before Rodney sneered, “You cannot possibly have her in your bed?”
“What I do with her is not up for discussion.”
“You’re fucking her?” There was disbelief in his tone.
“Have you lost your mind?” There was another long pause and I waited for Karson to rip into him.
He remained quiet. Why wasn’t he putting the prick back in his place?
Though it was silly wanting him to defend me—defend us.
Karson was extremely private; he kept nearly everything he did to himself.
“At least tell me you’ve not fallen for her.”
Karson scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, as if I would ever fall for a girl like her. She’s merely a fun toy to play with.”
There was a heavy hollow bleeding in my chest.
I care because you are important to me, Karson’s words replayed in my head.
He was lying to him. He didn’t mean it I decided, of course he didn’t. He was trying to convince Rodney he didn’t care.
“There are plenty of women to fill your bed, why would you bother with her?”
“You know me well enough to know I do not do anything without a reason. I need her for something. Until then, I might as well have some fun.” His voice came out cold, callous, spiteful, a tone I’d never heard from him before.
I care because you are important to me.
The words twisted in my mind. My hands shifted to my heart as if trying to protect it from the eruption of pain.
He cares, he cares, I repeated in my head.
“Besides, plenty of attractive women do still fill my bed. You know as well as anyone, one woman would never satisfy my needs.” They both laughed darkly.
His words hit my chest like a punch. Sharp, cruel, and twisted, stealing the beat from my heart. Rodney responded, but I couldn’t hear him over the sudden roar in my head. I closed my eyes.
He told me he loved me.
The hard truth was, he’d told me once, just once, and like a fool I’d held onto it, hoping—no praying—that somewhere deep in his heart he did love me.
This was all some act. Some game he was playing because he needed me for something. It must be something to do with the grimoire, but my mind was too ravaged with despair to consider what. I’d been naive to believe someone like him could love someone like me.
I’m not worth loving. Not by my biological parents, not by Tom, certainly not by him.
I loved him and he’d played me. I loved him with everything inside me.
All this time, he was pretending he cared.
My throat locked so tight I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes opened, the world blurring beneath my tears.
The beat of my heart returned, burning against my ribs, pain a wildfire spreading through my body as I edged away.
I scrubbed the tears from my face before I walked in, not willing to let anyone see how crushed I was.
A shuddering breath of relief quivered from my lips when I saw the doors were still closed and the foyer was empty.
I lifted my head as I walked through, resisting the urge to run, resisting the urge to scream, pain and despair burning through me.
Laughter and chatter came from the room. They were in there, laughing about me.
The lights flickered above my head.
Ethan had warned me about him. Everyone had warned me, but I thought they were wrong. I thought he could be different for me. As if anyone had ever loved me enough to change who they were for me. As if anyone had ever loved me enough to stay. As if anyone had ever really loved me at all.
Aside from my mom. My dead fucking mom.
A sob racked my throat and my hand flew over my mouth, pinning my lips together. I ran up the stairs, mindless to the stab of my ankle with every step.
Don’t cry, don’t cry.
I snatched my shoulder bag out of the closet, shoved in my mother’s ring, and secured my blades. I didn’t pack anything else. I didn’t care about anything. I just needed to get away from him. I strode down the hall.
Georgie came out of her room. Her face flushed, her hair messy from sleep. She stopped when she spotted me, running her eyes over my bag, my outfit, then on my eyes, which were probably red. “What’s wrong?” Her words sounded slightly slurred.
I couldn’t tell her; she’d say I told you so. She’d say I warned you. I was such a fucking fool.
I dragged in a few deep breaths and forced a smile. “Nothing, I just miss the kids and Church Heights, and I’m fed up with being cooped up here.”
Her eyes widened. “Are you heading out?”
I didn’t know where I’d go. I had nowhere to go. With Ethan away, I had no one to go to.
“Yes.”
“Great, I’m coming too.” Relief flooded her face. “Let me grab my bag.” She turned and jogged into her room before I could tell her no. I rubbed my hands over my face. It was one thing to leave and put myself in danger, another to put her in danger too.
If I went now, maybe I could get away from her before she realized I’d gone. But Georgie came out seconds later wearing a jacket, her handbag over her shoulder, smoothing down her hair as she walked.
Fuck.
“I don’t think it’s safe for you, Georgie. I think you should stay here. I won’t be long,” I lied.
“Rubbish.” She hooked her arm through mine. The scent of champagne on her breath swarmed up my nose. “I know a girl who needs a drink when I see one, and I saw you kick Sarah’s ass, remember, and she’s not in Portland. It’ll be fiiiine.”
There was no way she was letting me go without her. And I couldn’t stay in this house with him. It was a battle to hold it together, not to break down. If she caused a scene, they would hear us leave and he’d do whatever he had to, to stop me. So he could use me for his own gain.
I relented. “Fine, but you have to be quiet.”
“Are we sneaking out?” She grinned. “We are, aren’t we? Finally, I never thought you had it in you!”
“Stop talking,” I whispered as we walked down the stairs. The music was loud, but still, if one of them heard us …
My mind whirled, and my heart, my fucking heart felt like it was being burned alive. We crossed the hall—the door was still open from earlier. All we had to do was get Karson’s keys—
“A herd of elephants would sneak out quieter than you two.” Monique appeared like a ghost and whispered in my ear as my hand reached for the keys.
Georgie jumped. “Shiiiitt, you scared me, don’t do that.”
My insides went cold. I unhooked Georgie’s arm and lifted my hand, palm facing her. “Don’t even think about stopping me, Monique,” I hissed. “I mean it.”
She eyed my palm, a lazy smirk curling her lips. “On the contrary.” I blinked in surprise. She was letting us leave. Then again, she hated me. This was what she’d wanted all along. “I’ve been ordered to go out with you.”
How the fuck did he know? Anger began to curl through the pain. “Tell him to go fuck himself. I don’t need you.” The chandelier lights flickered in the foyer. “And I don’t need him, and I don’t need …” I was appalled when my words cracked and a few lights went out. “I don’t need anyone.”
Georgie looked between us, confused, a flash of sympathy crossing her face as it dawned.