Chapter 46
The Accident
At first, all I was aware of was a sharp pain beating in my head. I blinked my eyes open, and my vision burned on a cloak of red and curdling darkness. The stench of burning rubber and blood filled my nostrils, choking my throat.
Dazed and confused, I groaned as I turned my throbbing head.
Blood ran down my mother’s face as she stared at me, shock and fear in her eyes. My mother was a homicide detective, like my father. She dealt with the worst of the worst, and I’d never seen her scared.
I sucked in a breath and smelled smoke. Was the car about to catch on fire? White-hot panic rushed through my body.
“Uhn,” she coughed, blood splattering from her mouth. She rasped in a wheezy breath as tears trickled down her face. “Run.”
I couldn’t leave her, wouldn’t leave her.
“No, Mom,” I cried, my fingers shaking as I fumbled for my seatbelt. My body crashed to the roof of the car. I crawled across shattered glass draped in blood, glinting like rubies, oblivious to the shards stabbing into my skin and pain ripping through my entire body.
Her eyes moved to the front of the car and widened, and when she looked back, panic and pain and love burned through them. Her shaking hand touched my cheek. “No, Amelia, sweetheart.” Blood dribbled from the corner of her mouth. “Please, you have to run.”
“I’m not leaving you,” I rasped, leaning across to try to unbuckle her seatbelt, but I couldn’t reach it.
“I love you, Amelia. Run!” she whispered, the desperation in her voice sending a chill over my body. Her eyes were fixed on something over my shoulder, and I jerked to look, squinting through the blinding light and curdling darkness. Not darkness. Smoke.
Then shiny black shoes appeared in the bottom of my vision. My eyes trailed up; all I could see was the silhouette of a man. Shadow Man.
I gasped awake, bolting upright, my heart thundering, tears streaming down my face. I was in our bedroom, lying on the bed.
“It’s alright, you’re safe,” Karson’s gentle voice crooned as he brushed hair off my damp forehead. “You’re safe.”
Distraught, I stared straight ahead, my head spinning, my chest pressing in against itself.
The figures in the basement.
The memory of that horrid voice scorching my mind, the hand on my mouth, the smell of pine and smoke, the hand on my thigh—
The faceless beasts. Moments jammed together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle I couldn’t quite place. My teeth chattered; I tucked my knees to my chest, trying to keep warm.
My emotions whirled in a mixture of confusion, pain, and shame. So much shame. They all saw me break down, they all knew something had happened to me … I knew something had happened to me, something awful, something no child should ever go through.
Karson clutched my hand in his and sank to his knees. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for pushing you.”
I risked looking at him and wished I hadn’t. His eyes were riddled with guilt and despair and something worse—sympathy, adding to the distress. He dipped his head, clutching my hand to his lips. “Forgive me, please, Amelia, forgive me.”
To see the king of vampires on his knees, begging me for forgiveness should have warmed something inside. Should have soothed me. Instead, I felt embarrassed. I felt … ashamed.
I closed my eyes, trying to drown the whirlwind of feelings rushing through my body.
“I’m sorry,” he repeated, “I’m so sorry.”
This wasn’t his fault, but I couldn’t deal with any of this right now. I could barely process my own emotions, let alone deal with his.
“I can’t,” I rasped, opening my eyes. “I can’t do this.”
He flinched like I’d just stabbed him, his face paling. An ache slammed under my rib cage.
“Amelia, I—”
“Please.” My voice cracked. “I need to be alone.”
His hand tightened on mine and his voice came out on a rush of breath laced with fury, “I will find him and I will tear every—”
“Karson,” Monique snapped. She was standing at the door, and when Karson looked up, she shook her head. “You should leave.”
He gulped in a mouthful of air and nodded. Placing a kiss on my hand, he rose slowly. I didn’t look at him as he left. I couldn’t.
“Hey there.” Monique stood in front of me, a rare softness on her features. “I won’t ask you if you’re alright, I know you aren’t.”
I swallowed, grateful I didn’t have to speak.
“What happened was not your fault.”
Children were fragile, weak, powerless at the hands of a predator. But I was a witch and still I couldn’t stop what happened.
“I know,” I whispered.
“It wasn’t, Amy,” she said gently but firmly. “You were a child. There is nothing you could have done to change anything.”
“I know.” Fresh tears streamed down my face.
“It’s not your fault.”
A sob racked my chest, my heartbeat pounding in my head as guilt and shame all came flooding to the surface. I knew it wasn’t my fault and these feeling were not mine to carry. And yet, it still didn’t prevent them from tearing through the darkest corners of my mind.
Monique sat on the edge of the bed, her hand resting on my back. She just let me cry until the sobs eased and I drew in a few shuddering breaths, pulling myself together as best I could.
“There is nothing you could have done about it then, but there is something you could do about it now.” She wiped the tears off my face gently with a black hanky. “Tell me, who do we need to hunt down?”
Distraught, I stared straight ahead, my mind spinning, my lungs pressing in on themselves.
Every image rushed through my head, one after the other.
The figures in the basement.
The memory of that horrid voice scorching my mind, the hand on my mouth, the smell of pine and smoke, the hand on my thigh—
The faceless beasts. Moments jammed together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle I couldn’t quite place. My teeth chattered; I tucked my knees to my chest, trying to keep warm.
My mind had blocked it for the longest time to try to protect me. It was still trying to protect me as best it could.
I clutched my hands over my face. “I don’t know. I don’t know.”
I didn’t want to deal with the questions. I couldn’t tolerate the thought of seeing Karson again. I couldn’t tolerate the thought of seeing the sympathy in any of their eyes, or worse, pity.
I needed to escape. I needed to deal with it myself. I needed to fall apart in private and to pull myself together before I had to see anyone.
“I need to go,” I rasped, barely holding back another sob. “I don’t want to be here right now.”
Monique straightened and stared at the window as if debating.
My eyes welled with fresh tears. “Please.”
She looked back and sighed. “Pack a bag. We can go for a night or two.”
“I need to be on my own,” I whispered.
Monique’s brow flickered. “You’re in no shape to drive.”
“Monique,” it came out like a whine. “I—”
She held up a hand. “But I have a little cabin by a lake not too far from here. There are trees and birds and not much else. No one knows about it … I may be able to leave you …” She sighed again, resigned. “Karson is going to murder me.”