Chapter 12 Tabitha
Georgetown and Charleston, South Carolina
June 1915
No one could have told Tabitha that she would ever just leave Mama, but the decision to take Joseph’s hand had already been made for her because she had not bled in two months. She was with child. If she didn’t go with Joseph now, she feared she might never see him again.
But still, she didn’t need a carriage or horses. Regret carried her all the way from Georgetown to Charleston. As the city got closer, anticipation became a distant feeling in her heart. It was replaced with a heavy emotion she could not put a name to. Ambivalence was squeezing the happiness out of her.
Mostly, Tabitha felt guilty. She wasn’t sure she wasn’t making a mistake, but she couldn’t go back. She’d made a hard bed.
She wondered how Joseph felt. Surely he wasn’t born a thief—a man who stole another’s daughter in this way. But Tabitha couldn’t see anything in the side of his face or the set of his jaw that made him look like he carried regret. In fact, he slept part of the way like trouble had not found him.
It was late when she and Joseph arrived. Tabitha stepped out of the carriage to noise... people walking, horses whinnying, a car rumbling against the cobblestone, and a baby crying from somewhere. City noise. That’s what she heard. And although they were less than a half mile from the port, there was no breeze, no smell of saltwater in the air. And the heat stole her breath, left her wanting relief from it.
There was nothing remarkable or unremarkable about her new home. The two-story building was painted a pale yellow, which looked faded against the deep red brick steps. A wrought iron door kept it closed to the outside. She and Joseph entered with his coachman behind them carrying her bag. Passing a pair of sweethearts in the lobby, they climbed the stairs to the second floor. The apartment was small—four rooms with a wash closet—but it was furnished and appeared clean.
Tabitha expected more. She couldn’t quite reconcile why a man with Joseph’s money lived in a place so simple. From what she could see, it was in a decent part of Charleston. Respectable enough, but far from the only part of Charleston she’d been to, which was Morris Street, where they’d traveled once for a church convocation. They had passed through a neighborhood with automobiles and polished carriages with drivers. All she saw here were wagons and working-class people.
“This is where you’ll be for a while.”
“Me?” Tabitha asked. “Just me?”
“Until we’re married.”
“And then?”
“We’ll figure it out together,” Joseph said.
Tabitha nodded understanding but still clutched her bag to her belly as she continued to inspect the front room.
“I’m glad we have a chance to be alone, Peach.” Joseph put his hands on her shoulders. His eyes melted into hers. “I was tired of having to sneak around with you. We both deserve better than that.”
Tabitha understood his happiness, but he’d lost nothing. She’d left her family, and she didn’t even know anything about his. She wanted him to notice her lack of enthusiasm so they could talk about it, but he didn’t. He didn’t see because his own vision of how things were was filling up his eyes.
“Charleston is a big city. You can do whatever you want here.”
“What will I do for work?” Tabitha asked. She was reminded she had abandoned the store without notice. That was added to the list of ways she’d disappointed people.
“You can do nothing.”
Tabitha found that statement ridiculous, and her tone reflected it. “How can I do nothing?”
“I’ll provide for you... rent, food, clothes. I prefer you not work.”
“But how will I fill my days?”
“Making my baby.” He lowered his hand to her belly.
“That’s nature, Joseph. God is making the baby.”
“Well, there’s not much here to do that won’t require you to work hard, on your feet, lifting things.”
“What about in a shop?”
“That will be on your feet, and I’m afraid most shops in this city are family-run businesses. They don’t have any need for an outsider.”
“Well, perhaps...”
“No, Peach. There is nothing.”
Joseph removed his coat and pulled down his suspenders. “I have to leave early tomorrow to go to Sumter.”
Tabitha couldn’t believe her ears. He was leaving her alone. “How long will you be gone?”
“Not long.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to bring me here and leave me.”
“It will only be for a few days.”
“But what will I do?”
“Learn the neighborhood.”
Joseph undid the buttons on his shirt. He left her and walked to the washroom. After he came out, he went into one of the two bedrooms. Tabitha followed him. He opened a closet and pulled out a shirt.
“You have things here?”
Joseph slipped on the shirt and took to buttoning it. “I think it’s obvious I have things here.”
This was confusing to her. Joseph lived somewhere else, but he had clothing here. Joseph owned a carriage and had a driver and owned part of sawmills, but she was in a common neighborhood, in a small apartment. “Why am I here when you obviously live in a different place?”
“Things will change once we’re married.”
His response was not an answer to her question, so Tabitha pressed him for more. “Where do you live?”
“In Charleston proper, but I can’t take you there until we’re married.”
Joseph continued buttoning his shirt. He treated this conversation so casually that it unnerved her. This was not what he promised. She was supposed to become his wife, but then she considered the reason why he delayed. She was probably too dark for his family. Charleston proper was full of high-yellow Negroes who rejected anyone darker than a brown paper bag, which she was by many shades, but that wasn’t going to change. Keeping her here wasn’t going to lighten her skin.
“Are you ashamed of me?”
Joseph frowned. “What’s to be ashamed of? I’ve given you the best of me.” He touched her belly. “You’re not hiding, Peach. You are simply waiting.” He smiled, and his countenance was full of charm. “There’s a difference.”
Tabitha felt some relief, but she still didn’t like being left alone. “Can you take me with you?”
“No.”
“I can stay in the room where you are just as well as I can stay here.”
He chuckled with irritation not humor. “What’s your problem with here?”
“I’ll be lonely for days.”
“You’ll make friends. There are other women in this building.”
“But...”
“Tabitha!” She’d never heard impatience carry her name so strongly out of his mouth. “That’s enough. I know this is new to you and you are anxious, but you’re worried about being bored, and you’re not even bored yet. Try to take things as they come.” He pulled her to him and kissed her forehead. “Let’s go have dinner.”
The next morning, Joseph left early. Left her alone to figure out her new life. She didn’t understand how she got here. She was only eighteen, and she was alone, with child, and without her family. Joseph left her money. Enough to buy meals for a week and then shopping money if she wanted to buy something. Tabitha unpacked her things and looked for a place in the room where she could hide her own money. She’d brought her savings. Joseph knew nothing about it.
It was wise of her to keep her money hidden because her man had secrets. He was gone more than he was here. It wasn’t long before Tabitha realized he was not going to marry her anytime soon. Whenever she brought it up, she was told the time wasn’t right, to wait, and eventually to hush her mouth on the subject.
“I take care of you. You don’t work or suffer to beg for bread, Peach.”
And that was what Joseph said to her for three years, through two babies. There was no ring. No marriage. Tabitha did not meet his family. She lived in the tiny apartment, caring for her children and seeing him when it was convenient for him. She had not gone home. Preferring not to hear the sadness in their voices, she had only talked to Retha and Dot on the telephone a few times. She did not see Mama for years. She was ashamed, and she’d let that shame trap her.