Chapter 6
CHAPTER 6
W hen she went limp in his arms, he loosened his hold enough for her to get a sip of air. He buried his face in her hair, panting as if he were the one being suffocated.
The hand on her throat trembled as he fought his demons. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep her body pliant when she was seconds away from death. She closed her eyes and focused on the clock that was still ticking, letting her know time wasn’t standing still.
She was rewarded for her patience when his grip on her throat eased a little more. Hot breath fanned her face as he tried to get a hold of himself. She couldn’t tell if seconds, minutes, or hours had passed, but eventually, his hand fell away.
“The housekeeper insists on floral arrangements. I don’t give a shit.” His voice was muffled by her hair. “And I didn’t get the vasectomy because I was fucking around—I did it because I don’t want children.”
She forgot herself and tried to pull away. Instantly, his hands locked, and his energy, which had been leveling out, went electric. Her gaze rose instinctively and collided with the monster Kaia had warned her about. Her mind was wiped clean with stark terror.
“I never wanted to see this look on your face,” he said softly, his finger tracking a tear that slipped down her cheek. “But it was inevitable. Everything I touch I ruin.”
More tears fell.
“You were my one good thing. The only thing that had ever been just mine.” He leaned down to taste her heartache. “I didn’t want you in London while I was fighting for my life. What man wants his woman to see him knocked to his knees when things go to shit? Am I wrong for wanting things to be perfect?” When she whimpered, he nuzzled her. “You say I meant more to you than your family.” He brushed his wet lips over hers, letting her taste the salt from her tears. “You meant more to me than anyone. Ever.”
His hand came back to her throat. The metallic tang of blood clogged her nostrils.
“At times, I hated you more than Maximus.” The vicious, vindictive thing that lurked inside of him surveyed her as his thumb monitored her uneven pulse. “Maximus said you used me to get back at him.”
It took several seconds for her to process that. “H-how could I…?” she said hoarsely.
“He said I was an experiment you gave up on when you realized I’d never be accepted in society no matter how successful I was.”
Disbelief replaced her glassy panic.
“He said you’d learned your lesson marrying outside your circle. That you’d decided to be with someone of your own class. Someone worthy of you.”
“Worthy.” She repeated a word she’d never associated with herself with glum amusement. She was astounded her dad had not only managed to spout such lies with a straight face, but that he’d convinced Roth he was telling the truth when he should have known better.
“Is it true?”
“You don’t know me at all, do you?” she whispered.
His eyes flickered before his lashes swept down to hide his thoughts. “Maximus was very convincing.”
“He played on your insecurities.” Insecurities she didn’t even know he had. Her father had been too discerning for his own good. He’d butchered Roth’s pride before blackmailing him. She thought back to their hospital reunion in Colorado. Roth’s fury had caught her off-guard. She’d chalked it up to offended male ego but now knew it was so much more. Years of anger and resentment for things her dad had planted in Roth’s head about her. Had Maximus done it to ensure Roth would keep his distance in the future?
Roth stood with his hand at her throat, head bowed, lost in thought. Sensing the danger had passed, she called his name.
“Jamie?”
His eyelashes lifted, confirming the monster had retreated.
“You’re bleeding.”
He focused on the bloody hand collaring her throat. When it shifted, she breathed a sigh of relief, before he raised her chin to expose her throat. She wasn’t prepared for him to duck his head and brush kisses over her tender throat.
“Where you’re concerned, my control is nonexistent. I’ve warned you not to throw other men in my face. Push too hard, I’ll unravel, and we’ll both suffer the consequences. Is that clear?”
She made a noise of assent.
He kissed her collarbone before easing back, his face creased as if he were in pain. He started toward the wet bar, his progress slow, far from the fast stride that cleared paths for him. He looked like he’d aged a decade in an hour.
Jasmine touched her throat and felt the ghost of his hand still holding her captive. He’d been so close to... She staggered back as her legs turned to jelly and dropped down on the springy couch cushions, shocked at what had erupted between them.
Their volatile sexual chemistry had supercharged emotions that were beginning to tip far too frequently into violence. They weren’t even a month in, and they’d attempted to kill each other.
Roth opened a cabinet and pulled out a cloth. Her vision unfocused, but she heard the clink of glass as he grabbed a bottle. The slosh of liquid as he turned it upside down to wet the cloth made her aware of how thirsty she was. She swallowed to test the extent of her injuries. Her throat was beginning to swell, and the insides of her cheeks were shredded, but it could have been much worse. Her mind flashed to Thea. This was the second time in less than a month Roth had choked a woman. She hadn’t thought anything could incite him to such violence except the threat of his secret being exposed. She’d been wrong.
At her lowest, she had vowed that one day she’d pay Roth back for finding her lacking. She’d succeeded beyond her wildest dreams. It had never occurred to her she could hurt him in this way.
After leaving him, she’d thrown herself into writing to capitalize on the success of book one. When she wasn’t working, she’d cavorted in depravity and drowned herself in novel experiences before limping back to her computer to get it all on the page. Thankfully, her career had continued in an upward trajectory. With her readers cheering her on, she had indulged to the hilt and explored her sexuality. She’d realized quickly that the average male wasn’t up for what she’d been groomed by Roth to believe was normal sex. In her experience, the scarier the man looked, the softer he was in bed. Tattoos and piercings didn’t mean shit. Looking back, she was fortunate she hadn’t gotten into serious trouble since she’d been actively seeking it. She’d been stupidly impulsive more times than she cared to remember, but none of the men had hurt her or abused her... even when she encouraged it.
Despite her hoe phase, she had never achieved her original goal: to eradicate Roth from her memory bank. No matter how many men she took to bed, he was the man she pictured when anyone spoke of their first and most memorable. He was the hero of all her stories. So, the joke was on her.
Roth tossed the cloth down, right sleeve rolled up to expose the scratches she’d left behind. She tensed, waiting for the battle to start anew, but he kept his back to her and took in the view as if he’d never seen it before. The silence was fraught with tension, but she preferred it to his relentless inquisition.
Cautiously, she sank against the cushions while keeping a wary eye on him to make sure he didn’t launch another attack. She should be packing her bags and calling for backup, but she was so drained all she could do was stare into space as his confessions knocked around in her mind.
He hadn’t cheated on her. His infidelity was so ingrained in her psyche she was having a hard time casting it aside. Roth had an insane sex drive—it seemed absurd he hadn’t touched another woman during their three-year marriage. What man wouldn’t indulge with his wife in another country or after she’d filed for divorce? The image of Roth, the faithful husband, clashed with her memory of the bitter, resentful man who’d said, “You should have told me you were coming. I would have told you not to bother. I’m busy.” She wanted to call bullshit—that would make her feel better—but his outrage and righteous fury couldn’t be feigned. He was telling the truth.
She smothered the flash of remorse. She couldn’t take back what she’d done, and if she were honest with herself, she didn’t regret it. Did it matter that he’d been physically faithful when he’d given her nothing emotionally? If she hadn’t divorced him, she wouldn’t have an identity apart from the one her father or Roth had given her. Now, she had a writing career and life experiences she wouldn’t have had if she’d stayed married. Although he claimed he would have brought her to live with him in London, she suspected he would have always held her at arm’s length. Their dynamic would have remained the same.
Would he have told her about his vasectomy if she’d brought up the subject of having a family? How would she have reacted, discovering years into their marriage that he didn’t want children? She grimaced. She’d been such a docile, eager-to-please wife—the chances of her bringing up such a loaded topic were slim. She wouldn’t have pushed for anything, content to wait for him to tell her when he was ready. She would have waited forever. Would that have ended them, or would it be the constant bickering over Maximus’s interference? If she suspected not all his business was legal, would she have the balls to question him about it?
Her tongue traced a cut on the wall of her cheek as her thumb rotated her wedding ring around and around. How long would it have taken her to pick up on the fact he never spoke of his childhood? She’d assumed so much, and he’d let her, unwilling to clarify how his father had died or explain his strained, distant relationship with his mother. She suspected Kaia wouldn’t be surprised by her son’s violent tendencies or that he’d checkmated her into a corner. “Are you marrying him of your own free will, or is he forcing you in some way?” Kaia had known right from the start their second marriage was happening under suspicious circumstances, and she’d had the courage to speak up, warning Jasmine that she didn’t truly know her son. Her dad’s letter had confirmed she’d had the wool pulled over her eyes for seven years.
Kaia might be the only person on the planet who understood what a master strategist Roth truly was. His mother had been aware of Roth’s true nature even as a child and feared him. Had he tried to manipulate his mother or gotten her into some kind of trouble that made Kaia realize his unusually strong will and determination could be used for evil? Goose bumps rippled over Jasmine’s skin. She wished she could call Kaia for guidance, but Roth had foreseen that as well. He’d cut off that resource weeks ago, long before Jasmine recognized how precarious—how dangerous —her situation was.
Her gaze drifted back to Roth. For a man who saw eating as a waste of time if it wasn’t paired with another task, his stillness seemed like an odd phenomenon. Talking about her infidelity had pushed him into a violent rage, but her response to Maximus’s allegations brought him to a standstill. She should take advantage of his preoccupation and arm herself with a weapon and retrieve her phone from the kitchen. Instead, she sat in a stupor, trying to picture Maximus showing up here in the middle of the night to blackmail his son-in-law.
She couldn’t believe Maximus had flown to London the same day she went to him for help. She’d assumed her father would use a middleman or communicate through phone or even a letter so there’d be no evidence of their deal. The fact he’d done a face-to-face on Roth’s turf was ballsy... Then again, cowardice wasn’t something her father had been accused of. She was awed, proud, devastated, and confused by it all. Aside from the night they first met, she had never seen her father and Roth in the same room. Imagining their showdown gave her anxiety even though it had happened years ago.
It had never occurred to her to ask how Maximus got Roth to sign the divorce papers. She assumed they’d settled things in a civilized fashion, exchanging money or favors. Would her father have told her the truth if she’d questioned him? Why keep that from her? Why had he lied and said she’d do anything to gain her inheritance—that she had a replacement, someone “of her own class,” who made the grade? She had never cared about status. Being the bastard daughter meant she barely made the grade herself, so why had Maximus...?
Oh. She pinched the bridge of her nose as several pieces of the puzzle came together.
Her father’s goal had been to damage their relationship beyond repair so there was no chance of reconciliation. What better way to sever those final threads linking them together than by taunting Roth with the knowledge she had a suitor waiting in the wings? Her dad could have used her extensive sexual exploits to prove she’d moved on. But her father had to up the ante by creating a replacement with a background and connections Roth couldn’t compete with. And with Jasmine inheriting a sizable fortune, the wealth Roth had been slaving to amass was immaterial.
Reducing their marriage to a rebellious fling was a low blow. Where had her father even come up with this shit? Or was that how he had viewed her relationship with Roth?
Maximus never went into negotiations without extensive knowledge of his opponent’s vices and weaknesses. He’d ply his targets with compliments or disparaging comments, depending on their temperament and his goals. It was no surprise Maximus hadn’t used flattery with Roth. He’d known it would get him nowhere. Knowing how he felt about Roth, she could only imagine the deluge of insults he’d unleashed. Maximus had identified and ruthlessly targeted an inferiority complex she hadn’t known Roth possessed. Apparently, he’d hoped these lies would make Roth despise her enough to forget her and move on.
But her father had greatly underestimated Roth’s thirst for vengeance. No man wanted to hear they’d been used or were an “experiment” a woman had given up on. That had been a gross miscalculation on Maximus’s part. He’d had no idea how cunning and patient Roth was.
Her dad’s condition that she steer clear of Roth made sense now. Maximus couldn’t risk them reuniting and sifting through the ashes of their relationship. Her father had banked on Roth’s shattered pride and her promise to never see him again to keep them apart. It hadn’t been enough.
She focused on Roth, who stood looking out at a multimillion-dollar view from the building he owned. He looked every inch a tycoon. He wore his suit with the same ease he’d once worn jeans, sports jackets, and boots. He was one of the very few who could make dreams a reality. They could have gone their whole lives without meeting, gliding past one another in society and never connecting. For some reason, the moment they met, their paths had merged, and that had dictated their lives ever since.
He had been punished severely for pursuing her. Most men would have surrendered when Maximus went after their business. Instead, Roth had made her his wife and for two years endured unimaginable trials at her father’s hands. What he truly felt for her she’d never know, but his need to know the truth about the dissolution of their marriage caused him to drop his shields, revealing chinks in his armor she hadn’t known existed.
She’d thought Roth had played her, and thanks to her father, the same seed had been planted in Roth’s mind. What a fucking mess. She couldn’t comprehend how Roth had believed those lies. How could he not have seen the simple truth that she just wanted to be loved and share a life with him? The fact that he thought she’d run to her father for financial security made her grimace. Did he think she possessed so few skills she couldn’t make a living; couldn’t survive without him or her father providing for her? Nothing short of a life-or-death crisis could have compelled her to seek out Maximus. And Roth’s refusal to give her a divorce—his insistence she deal with him one-on-one—had caused her to run home. She was afraid she’d fold. That she didn’t have the strength to stand her ground with him. She’d known she was weak where he was concerned, and her current circumstances were proof positive she was still stupidly susceptible.
Had her father staged those meetups with her childhood friends? Had she been featured in several seasons of The Bachelorette and been completely oblivious? When Maximus had pointed out her friends as potential partners, she’d laughed. If her dad had wanted her safely married to put her out of Roth’s clutches, why hadn’t he been more forceful? Or, had Roth fooled Maximus into believing he’d forgotten her and moved on? Little did her father know, Roth bided his time by collecting data on her family and positioning himself to demolish his legacy.
“What else did my father say?”
Her voice was soft, so it wouldn’t startle or incite him. She waited a full minute, but he didn’t react.
“Roth?”
He stirred, rolling his shoulders, before he said in a gruff tone, “It doesn’t matter.”
“I think it does.”
“Maximus mixed enough truth and lies to make them sound like the same thing. There’s no point repeating it.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
The small gesture would have been overlooked by most, but for men like Roth and her father, who controlled their body movements so it wouldn’t give away their thoughts or emotions, it was significant. That simple action told her Roth was so rattled he wasn’t suppressing his tells.
“I have a right to know.”
“Maximus made a fool of me for the last time.” He sounded like he was talking to himself.
“Roth.”
He turned. She assumed the danger had passed, but if her father had been present, Roth would have killed him with his bare hands.
“Maximus said you realized how much you gave up, marrying a man with no pedigree. No matter how hard I worked, I would never get to where you wanted me to be.”
Her mouth sagged before she snapped, “Where I wanted you to be? I never had any expectations for you! You accomplished more in the first third of your life than most will in ten lifetimes—why do you think my dad resented you so much? You blitzed past people standing on generations of work. The night we met, I stuck my neck out because you deserved to be in that room. The strength of character it took to stand there and allow yourself to be humiliated and ridiculed to get to the next level floored me. I knew you were destined for great things, but I never imagined you’d accomplish what you have. You hold yourself to impossible standards and supersede all expectations. The commitment and sacrifice it takes, no one has a clue.”
“But you left me.”
Something about the way he said that made her stomach flip. She looked away. “I left because you didn’t love me, not because you weren’t good enough. You’re married to your career. That’s not out of the ordinary for driven men like you. That’s what it takes to make it to your level. I’m selfish. I wanted someone to put me first.” She restlessly spun her ring. “I would have been happy with you even if we’d struggled and worked two jobs. I would have cheered you on if you walked away from it all. I just wanted you, but you needed...” Her eyes flicked to their surroundings before she curled her hand into a fist, flinching when the diamond speared her palm. “Regardless of what happened between us, I was always proud of you. It didn’t surprise me to see your face on the news. Your talent for choosing the right investments still holds true. It’s ridiculous to think I would hold you to a standard I’d never meet. You’re exceptional, Roth. You always were. You shouldn’t let my dad or anyone else take that away from you.”
She didn’t understand the buzzing silence that greeted the end of her speech, or the aggression radiating from him. It seemed his tension had increased. What the hell?
“The things your father said played a part in my treatment of you this time around.”
His confession zipped through her so quickly she didn’t feel anything but a minor sting in the space where her heart used to be.
“It was easy to believe Maximus when you refused to speak to me. When the one and only time I lost my temper resulted in divorce papers. I didn’t understand where your head was or why you acted like I was worse than your father, a monster you would do anything to get away from.” He put his shoulders back, making his shirt gape to expose his chest because of his missing buttons. “I vowed that one day I would rival your family in wealth and influence. I would become so powerful that you couldn’t ignore me. I planned to be your worst nightmare.”
Jasmine tried to align her thoughts, but they skittered in every direction. Only one stuck out like a neon sign.
“So your mother was right. You married me to ruin me,” she whispered.
“I had plans for you,” he said without inflection. “Plans that are now moot.”
“Is that why you went after Hennessy & Co.?”
“I did that to destroy your father’s legacy.”
“But you married me to punish me?”
“Yes.”