Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
R oth jerked, jolting Jasmine out of a sound sleep. He lay on his back while she was cuddled against his side with an arm draped over his middle and a leg tossed over his massive thighs.
“Another one?” she rasped.
“Go back to sleep,” he rumbled as he untangled himself from her and sat up.
“This is the fourth night in a row.” She squinted at the blue numbers on the clock on his nightstand. “You barely got three hours of sleep. Did you have a bad dream?”
“I’m going to jump in the shower.”
“But—”
He grasped her face and kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry I woke you. After I shower, I’m going to the gym.”
She gripped his wrist as she struggled to keep her eyes open. “That’s your remedy for everything. Maybe we should talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. I’ll rest easier once I get this project at work wrapped up.”
She was too tired to hang onto him as he tucked her beneath the covers. She didn’t hear him cross the room, but she heard the quiet snick of the bathroom door closing and the sound of water several seconds later. She shuddered, knowing the shower he was taking was ice-cold. The damn man was going to kill himself if he didn’t learn how to sleep for more than three or four hours at a stretch.
She nabbed one of his pillows and hugged it to her. She’d done her best to wear him out before they went to bed. Her body was sated and pleasantly achy. It pained her that she couldn’t give him the same tranquility he gave her. This was the fourth day he’d woken up exceptionally early, body jolting as if he’d remembered something urgent or had one of those nightmares where you felt like you were falling. His autopilot response to these abrupt wake-ups was to jump out of bed and head to the gym. She was starting to think he was obsessed with exercise, but considering the alternatives, this had to be one of the better addictions he could have. He always seemed relaxed, refreshed, and focused after a workout. When they first met, he’d mentioned needing a physical outlet to clear his head, and apparently, that was still true today. She hadn’t noticed this odd trait when they’d married the first time. Then again, they hadn’t spent that much time together, and he’d been trying to salvage his businesses.
Through closed eyelids, she saw a flash of light. Roth hated unnecessary sound, so he usually kept his phone on silent. Who was trying to contact him at 2:30 a.m.? She crawled to his side of the bed and picked up his cell to read the name on display.
Grayson Ward.
She tried to calculate the time difference in London as she flopped on his side of the bed and breathed in his scent. Was Grayson involved in the project Roth was worried about? It must be important if Grayson was calling at the crack of dawn across the pond. He didn’t strike her as the type to keep normal business hours.
She drifted back to sleep but roused when her hair was smoothed back from her face. She tried to open her eyes, but they felt like they were glued shut. Mornings had never been her forte, and this... This couldn’t be considered morning. This was the devil’s hour.
She heard clothes rustling and then a quiet, “Grayson.” Pause. “What happened?”
She heard a buzzing noise as Grayson spoke. This got a grunt from Roth. She couldn’t tell whether that meant what Grayson was saying was good or bad.
“I’ll handle it when I’m at the office.” A beat of silence and then, “No, I’m not at the office. Do you know what time it is here?”
She heard the faint sound of a man shouting something and then hysterical laughter.
“Go fuck yourself.”
That made her eyes open in time to see Roth slip the phone into his pocket.
“Is everything okay?” she asked, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.
“Yes. Sorry I woke you. I’m going to head out.” He leaned over to nuzzle her. “Sleep, princess. You don’t need to be up now.”
“You are.”
“I’m not a princess.”
“Neither am I,” she retorted, and he chuckled.
“You’re my princess who needs her beauty sleep.”
She looped her arm around his neck. “I can’t convince you to come back to bed?”
As if he couldn’t help himself, he cupped her breast and then leaned down to flick her nipple with his tongue. “If I stay, neither of us will get any rest.”
“I don’t mind.” She tried to sound seductive but ruined it with a yawn.
He straightened. “Sleep. I’ll see you later.”
“I’m worried about you,” she slurred.
“Don’t. I’m fine.”
He kissed her bare shoulder before pulling the duvet up to her chin. She sensed more than heard him leave. She couldn’t open her eyes to confirm, but his energy, so distinct and dominant when he was present, made the room feel empty when he exited.
She buried her face in the pillow and let out a heartfelt groan. She was proud of herself for waking up at six or seven, but Roth was a damn slave driver. How he managed to run a billion-dollar company, making dozens of decisions every day while getting so little sleep she couldn’t comprehend. And that was on top of the physical demands he made on his body. When did he recuperate mentally and physically? He needed a vacation... She snorted. He had no fucking clue what that was. He’d probably go insane if she stranded him on a tropical island with no internet.
She lay there for what felt like an hour, going back and forth between her body’s need for sleep and worrying about him. Eventually, she reached for her phone. She held it at arm’s length as she texted Mo and Johan in their group text.
Are you up?
If they didn’t answer, there was no sense in getting up. She wasn’t sure whether she was pleased or disappointed to see the bubbles appear as one of them began to write a response. Did she wake them, or...?
Johan: Everything okay?
Jasmine: Thinking about going to the gym.
Johan: The gym in the building?
Jasmine: Yes. The one Roth goes to. Do you know where it is? I’ve never been.
Johan: Yes, we come every day. We’re here with him now.
Jasmine: Ok! Don’t tell him I’m coming. I’ll message you when I’m ready.
She dropped her phone and stared blearily at the ceiling. There was no need for light with the glow from the city illuminating the room. She stretched before she forced herself to get up. She usually woke long after he left but made sure she was at his disposal in the evenings. She’d started greeting him at the elevator and enthusiastically leaping into his arms. The first time she did it, he was stunned, but he recovered quickly. Seconds later, she was over his shoulder as he double-timed it to their bedroom. He expressed his approval for this new ritual by torturing her with his mouth until she screamed.
Another ritual she tacked on was requested a daily array of sweets for Roth to sample after dinner. He was willing to try anything, but so far, he’d only shown a preference for pumpkin pie and a Japanese dessert called mochi.
Once in the shower, Jasmine turned her face up to the spray, willing the water to bring her into this dimension. She was so freaking tired, but she couldn’t shake the feeling Roth needed her. It couldn’t be a coincidence that after confessing his sexual history to her, his already appalling sleep habits worsened. He’d always been an insomniac, but the way he was waking up—that violent jerk that rocked the whole bed—was that of someone in combat mode. She wasn’t sure whether he was having nightmares or flashbacks and wasn’t surprised by his refusal to talk about it. Her attempts to discuss his past were also shot down. It was clear he regretted sharing it with her and insisted the professor hadn’t scarred him or had any lasting effect on him. She wasn’t so sure.
After getting dressed in a gray tracksuit, with dusty-rose sneakers and a hat to cover her makeup-free face and dark circles under her eyes, she shuffled across the penthouse to make coffee. By the time she was halfway through her cup, she was more alert, though her eyes were streaming from constant yawning. She texted her guards as she drained the last of it.
Mo showed up to escort her. Jasmine stepped into the elevator and nodded to the operator, whose eyes flicked over her as she passed. She greeted Mo with a wan smile. The neckline of his shirt was dark with sweat.
“Did you tell him?” she asked.
“No. Said I had to make a call. Johan’s with him.”
“You all wake up in the middle of the night to work out?”
“We’re used to his schedule.”
“I thought you were on my schedule.”
“We are, aside from his morning workouts. We’re in the building, so it’s easier for us to accompany him instead of calling someone from his team.”
She grunted.
“What are you doing up?”
“Couldn’t sleep. I figured I might as well see where he goes every day.”
That was partially true. She was curious about the building’s amenities, which she had yet to use. But the bigger reason was, Roth hadn’t issued another invitation for her to join him when he started exercising after dinner. So, she was taking matters into her own hands and joining him, whether he wanted her there or not.
They exited the elevator. She looked up and down the long hallway and read the signs before she started in the opposite direction from the gym. Mo followed as she investigated the indoor pool.
“This is my kind of workout.”
The seventy-five-foot-long pool with underwater lights showed crystal clear water that begged her to dive in. The ceilings were two stories high, with windows that allowed for lots of natural light and unbelievable views from the lounge chairs.
On their way out, Jasmine peeked into the spa. Mo waited while she took a quick tour of the locker rooms, hot tubs, and massage rooms. Nothing was locked.
As they walked in the quiet, empty halls, she said, “I know why he’s up at this hour. Not dealing with people makes it easier to do what you need to without interruptions.”
Mo grunted. “You’d be surprised who he bumps into at the gym at this hour.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course, he manages to turn a workout session into a business meeting.”
Mo chuckled. “He turns everything to his advantage. He’s the consummate businessman.”
That he was. Even their marriage was a business deal, with guidelines, parameters, a deadline, and a payout. She saw the wisdom in it. It was better to have defined limits, but she wasn’t going to let that stop her from enjoying their time together. Having Roth open up about his past released the last of her misgivings. She’d started to treat him like a real husband—the way she had at the beginning of their marriage, before it all fell apart. It was terrifying and liberating to let go. This time, she knew she’d be hurt, but she accepted that outcome.
They were both traumatized and wary. They’d been abandoned, ignored, and dismissed, but they were willing to take a chance on each other again. Over the past few days, his regard had been constant. While they ate, when she joined him in his home office to read while he worked, even when she drifted off to sleep at night. He didn’t ask for an explanation for her changed demeanor, chastise her for invading his space, or shy away from her touch. He didn’t just accept what she gave him, either. He demanded more. If she gave him a peck, he wanted to make out. If she leaned into him, she found herself on his lap. If she wanted to undress him, he made sure he did the same with her... and then some. There were still moments when he physically or mentally withdrew. She wasn’t sure if it was sensory overload or if he needed time alone to decompress or assimilate. She didn’t get offended. She knew he needed that and sometimes, she did too.
She loved surprising him. It was fast becoming her favorite hobby and one of the reasons she forced herself to roll out of bed today. She was curious how he’d react to her invading another sacred space of his.
Mo opened the heavy door for her. She stepped into the gym and raised a hand to shield her eyes. The space was brightly lit and filled with top-of-the-line equipment. The early hour must be pushing it for other billionaires, because the only one occupying the space was hers. Johan nodded to her as he jogged on one of the treadmills in front of the window. Roth was on a mat doing a plank, his body as straight as a board, weight braced on his forearms and feet, which were pressed together.
Feeling a little mischievous, Jasmine tiptoed over to him. As she neared, his head started to come up. She closed the distance between them at a run, hopped onto his back, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Looking good, baby,” she purred.
He easily took her weight while keeping his body completely rigid. When he scanned the gym, it took her a moment to realize he was eyeing Mo and Johan to see how she’d gotten here.
“I called my babysitters. How else would I get here?” she muttered.
“I thought I told you to go back to sleep.” His tone was even, not winded, despite him dripping with sweat.
“Since when do I obey every word you say?” she taunted.
He tipped abruptly to the right too quickly for her to grip him with her legs to stop herself from tumbling off. She landed on her back and blinked when he propped himself over her.
“You obeyed every word I said last night.”
“Sometimes, following orders comes with rewards, but when it doesn’t...” She hooked her leg over his hip and oh so slowly arched against him. “I do what I want.”
His eyes heated. She met him halfway when his head lowered. She took his hungry kiss—the one he should have given her before he left her in bed—and returned it with interest. She stuck her tongue in his mouth and pulled on his sweaty hair.
“Boss.”
Roth lifted his head at Johan’s warning a second before the door opened. A tall man wearing headphones came in. He didn’t look around as he made his way over to a treadmill and started it with quick, impatient jabs. Apparently, he wasn’t happy to be up at this hour either.
Roth looked down at her. He didn’t say a word, but she knew he was trying to decide whether to work out or work her.
She held her hands up innocently. “I didn’t come to distract you.”
His eyes narrowed, making her laugh. The man on the treadmill turned his head in their direction. Immediately, she quieted, not wanting to draw attention to them or bother anyone who woke at this hour to exercise in blessed silence.
“I just came for moral support,” she said as she wriggled out from under him. “I’m going to walk on the treadmill.”
He didn’t stop her as she made her way over to Johan and hopped onto the treadmill beside him. She set an easy pace, staring out at the city that had yet to wake. She quickly realized she should have brought headphones. The gym was as quiet as a church, aside from an occasional grunt as someone lifted weights, the door opening as more men trickled in, and Johan and the guy several machines down running full-out. She felt like a slacker beside Johan, who’d been running for close to forty minutes with the treadmill inclined. Peer pressure had her inclining her own machine and leveling up to a light jog. By the time Roth appeared beside her and smacked the stop button, she was seconds away from a cramp.
“Wha—?” she gasped as the belt slowed. She tried not to clutch the stitch in her side. “What’d you do that for?”
“You said you were going to walk,” he said, clearly displeased, as he offered her a bottle of water.
“I decided to run.” She gulped greedily and leaned on the handrail as she rotated her foot to stop the oncoming cramp in her calf.
“You’re going too hard.”
“Says the man who works out two to three times a day,” she drawled.
“I’m conditioned for it. You aren’t.”
“No need to rub it in.”
“I’m not. I don’t want you sore.” When she raised a brow, he glared at her. “I want you sore from what I do to you, not from a fucking treadmill.”
“Roth.”
They turned as the man three treadmills down strolled over. He tugged his headphones down, so they were hanging around his neck. He had dark brown eyes, high cheekbones, and unruly brown hair.
“This must be your wife,” the stranger said in an accented tone that made her straighten.
Apparently, the stranger was well-acquainted with Roth, because he wasn’t put off by Roth’s aggressive stance or his hostile silence. The man came to the end of Jasmine’s treadmill and offered his hand.
“Heinrich.”
She stepped forward. “Jasmine.” She cocked her head to the side and said in German, “What are you doing up at this hour?”
His eyes widened slightly before he shot an amused glance at Roth and replied in his native tongue. “Doing the same thing as your husband. Avoiding everyone as much as possible.” He gave her a considering look before adding, “We’re new to the United States. My wife doesn’t have many friends and speaks limited English. Would you mind meeting with her?”
She didn’t bat an eyelash at the request. “Of course. I’m sure we can arrange something.”
Johan jumped off his treadmill. When she glanced at him, his eyes dipped to Heinrich’s hand, which she was still holding. She hastily released him and stepped back.
“Great,” Heinrich said, abruptly reverting to English. “What’s your phone number?”
She wrapped her arms around Roth’s shoulders as he started toward Heinrich.
“ Honey ,” she gushed. “Isn’t this great? Heinrich’s going to pass my number onto his wife so we can get together for some girl talk!”
Mo appeared as Roth halted within arm’s length of Heinrich, who was grinning unrepentantly.
“See you at nine,” Heinrich said to Roth and nodded at Jasmine before ambling toward the weights, humming as he put his headphones back on.
She was glad Heinrich hadn’t pushed the issue about her phone number. She had a feeling Roth would have gone for his throat. Mo and Johan seemed to agree—they were watching their boss, who hadn’t moved a muscle. To break the tension, Jasmine hopped off the treadmill and wrapped herself around him.
“Let’s go,” she murmured.
Roth tucked her against him more tightly than necessary, but she didn’t complain. She led him toward the exit, aware the dozen or so men scattered throughout the room had all turned to watch. Maybe the gym at this hour was sacred bro time and she’d unknowingly broken the code.
When they were in the hallway, she explained, “Heinrich asked me to meet with his wife, who doesn’t speak much English and hasn’t made many friends.”
“How is that your problem?” he bit out.
“It isn’t, but it’s expected that the wives meet and socialize.”
“I don’t expect that of you.”
“I know, but if you want your business relationship to last, at some point, it has to go beyond the office. During functions, the wives mingle and entertain themselves while the men talk business.” When he made no comment, she bumped him playfully with her hip. “You have no idea how much useful information spouses will share when they’re with friends.”
When they boarded the elevator, Mo and Johan stood before them and stepped aside once they reached the penthouse.
She faced Roth as the elevator doors closed and searched his shadowed features. “I didn’t speak German to cut you out of the conversation. I saw an opportunity to break through formalities for a deeper connection and took it.”
He closed the gap between them, towering over her. “You don’t need any connection, deep or otherwise, with him or any man.”
She stiffened. “I meant a deeper social connection that you can utilize in future, for business and networking.”
“I didn’t marry you so you could create relationships with my peers. I don’t expect you to entertain them either. I married you for me. To have your undivided attention and unlimited access to this.” He cupped her between her legs, startling her so she backed into the wall beside the elevator. Roth followed, planting a hand on her belly as he leaned down so his face was inches from hers. “Your only obligation is to me. To be at my beck and call.” His teeth flashed in the darkness as he bared them in a snarl. “I don’t like you talking to other men, smiling at them, being familiar with them. That’s mine. Everything is mine. They don’t get to make you laugh, smile, even touch your fucking hand unless I say so. Do you understand me?”
His fury beat at her. It was out of proportion with the quick introduction that had taken place in front of him, but she wasn’t going to point that out. Just like she wasn’t going to explain the repercussions of her refusal to shake a man’s hand in the future. They could discuss that later, when he was being rational.
“I understand,” she said calmly.
He grabbed a handful of her jacket and twisted it around his fist as he hissed, “I hate the way men look at you. I wish your face were smeared with my cum twenty-four-seven so they’d know who the fuck you belong to.”
His possessiveness aroused, alarmed, and was slightly offensive. As gently as she could, she said, “You know I’d never cheat on you, right?”
She knew instantly that she’d fucked up. The hairs on her nape rose as the hand clutching her clothes went to her throat.
“Do you know what would happen if you tried?”
With Roth crouched over her, the city illuminated her face, while his was cast in darkness. She kept her eyes soft, unafraid, even though her heart was stuttering in her chest. How the hell had her joining him at the gym turned into this?
“I don’t need to know what you’d do, because it’ll never happen. I don’t want anyone else.” She leaned forward, ignoring the way he squeezed her throat, so she’d keep her distance. “You’re all I want.”
Before her lips could touch his, he released her and stepped back. “I need to shower.”
She reached for him. “Roth.”
He sidestepped to avoid her touch. “I have to get to the office. I’m late.”
She could taste his seething fury. It crackled in the air around him. He was trying to cram his anger into the murky depths where he put all unwanted emotions, but she wasn’t going to let him.
As he started for the hallway, she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle. “Punish me.”
He stopped in his tracks. Her throat constricted as adrenaline coursed through her veins. She was playing with fire, waving a fucking red flag in front of a rampaging bull, but her need to provide an outlet to cure his temper outweighed the fact she could be gored in the process.
“I know you want to,” she whispered.
“I forgave you,” he said in a tone so devoid of emotion she knew she was on the right track.
“But that doesn’t take away the anger, does it?” She kissed his sweaty shoulder. “How do you want to punish me? On my knees? On all fours?”
“Don’t tempt me.”
His voice was as cold as the temperature outside. The fact he was trying to shield her from the darker aspects of himself made her even more determined to unleash his beast. She was his partner; his equal. That meant taking on the good and bad. And this bad... she had a feeling she could turn it into something that would satisfy them both. Although she was enjoying his sweet side, it was his aggression and rough edges that had attracted her in the first place. She knew what he was capable of and was in the mood to live a little dangerously.
“I’m giving you free rein to do whatever you want. I’m in the mood for a little pain.” She sank her teeth into his bicep to provoke him, but he didn’t move a muscle. “What’s your dirty fantasy, Jamie?”
No response.
“Why are you holding back?” She reached around him and ran her hand over the rock-hard bulge she suspected she’d find. “You’re gagging for it.”
He swung around to face her. “I said things would be different this time around.”
“They are different. You want me to beg you for it.”
“You don’t want to be a part of what’s going on in my head.”
Instantly, her face creased in concern. “Is it because you had a nightmare? Did you…?” She dashed around him to block his path when he tried to walk away. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk!”
The blast of venom almost made her lose her nerve. He was panting slightly, feet braced, and hands balled into fists as if he was ready for a fight. Her flight instinct kicked in, but his wild, turbulent gaze, hardened her resolve. She couldn’t leave him like this. He needed her, he just didn’t know it.
“Okay, no talking,” she said mildly as she unzipped her jacket, toed off her shoes, and shimmied out of her pants. “What do you want?”
His eyes were the only sign of life in his otherwise expressionless face. They glittered like the surface of the ocean on a full-moon night as they slid over her, clad in a sports bra, underwear, and socks.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said in a guttural voice that told her he was struggling to hold himself in check.
She lifted her chin and was grateful her voice didn’t betray her nerves as she said, “What if I want to be hurt?”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for.”
She sneered. “You’re practically a virgin compared to me.”
He cocked his head to the side. “You think fucking a bunch of men makes you more worldly than me? I’ve seen the worst things a human can do to another play out right in front of me. It turned my stomach even as it embedded itself into my psyche and plays in my mind when I least expect it. I abstained because I knew if I acted out what I saw, I’d develop a taste for it.” His eyes raked over her flushed face. “You have no idea what I could do to you.”
Even as her insides recoiled, she held his gaze and said, “I trust you.”
“You shouldn’t,” he growled.
It took more courage than it should have to reach out and grasp his cock through his pants. His energy went haywire, making her break out in goose bumps even as she got wet with anticipation. She was pushing him, but if she didn’t learn to stand her ground when he was like this, she’d never learn where he retreated mentally and what triggered these episodes. She traced the outline of his twitching cock.
“Why deny yourself what you need? I’m willing. I can take whatever you want to dish out. I’m in the mood to be mauled and wrung dry.”
She went up on tiptoes and bit back a triumphant smile when he automatically bent down before remembering he was trying to keep her at bay. She wrapped her arms around his neck before he could straighten and pressed her lips to his.
“Take me over, Jamie. Own me.”
Barbaric lust clashed with anger and doubt in his fevered gaze.
“Use me,” she whispered.
She saw the moment he stopped fighting and embraced his demons.
“Get on your knees.”