Chapter 52
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
Daisy
“So you just let him go, huh?” Callie says.
I hold the phone screen up as I skirt a dog walker with four dogs on leashes and make a beeline for my favorite park bench.
The trees are skeletal, a blanket of damp leaves carpeting the ground, and the sky looks especially bleak today. The entire city has been leached of color.
“Yeah.” I chew on my lip. “But he said he’d wait.”
I take a sip of my latte and try to make out what I’m seeing in the background. “Where are you?”
“Walking up and down the lane in front of the winery.”
“I thought I recognized those trees,” I say wistfully.
“He misses you,” she says softly.
Emotion clogs my throat and I have to clear it before I can speak. “Did he tell you that?”
She shakes her head. “He didn’t have to.” Her face brightens. “You should come for our Harvest Feast.”
“I thought the harvest was over.”
“It is. But Beckett’s throwing a party.”
“Scrooge throws parties now?” I joke.
She laughs. “He does. He’s a great boss. He’s hired a lot of new people too.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhmm. He hired a marketing and sales team and they’re using your photos for the new campaign. He even—” Her eyes widen.
“He even what?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. So what are you going to do?”
In the past few weeks, I’ve done little else but think about Beckett but I’m still conflicted.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m trying to get my act together, you know? I just feel like I have a lot of baggage to sort through before I’m in a good place again. I kicked Finn out of my life and that was so hard. What I thought was love… wasn’t. It was just a toxic, codependent relationship and I spent years enabling him and making excuses. So I’m not ready to jump right into another relationship.”
She nods thoughtfully. “I hear what you’re saying, I do. But Beckett isn’t Finn. He’s changed. I can see it. And I think a lot of that is because of you. You made him happy. It just took him a while to figure that out. But I think he made you happy, too. So I guess you just have to ask yourself if you’re better off with him or without him.”
I laugh softly. “If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be so confused.”
“I think you do know but you’re too scared to admit it. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.”
I chew on my lip. It sounds risky.
I need to be more cautious.
I need to start protecting my fragile heart.
“That’s exactly what the old Daisy would have done but look where that got me. My impulsiveness led me to a lot of bad decisions and crappy relationships.”
Callie thinks about it for a minute. “Beckett would never steal your car and leave you on the side of the road, Daisy.”
She’s right. Beckett would never do that. Even when I thought he hated me, he still cared.
But just because he would never leave me stranded on the side of the road doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt me in other ways.
After we hang up, I finish my latte and stare at the gray sky and when it becomes clear there are no answers there, I walk back to my apartment in the November rain.
New York looks especially gritty today.
I miss California. I miss life on the vineyard. But most of all, I miss Beckett.
As I climb the stairs to my apartment, I hear a door open.
When I reach the second-floor landing, Anna is standing there with her hands on her hips. “Why are you still here?”
“I don’t have to be in Miami until Friday. Where else should I be?”
She tilts her head. “What is your heart telling you?”
I rub my hand over my chest like it will ease the ache. “My heart can’t be trusted.”
Anna scoffs. “That ex-boyfriend couldn’t be trusted. Your heart was never the problem.”
The following week when I board my flight from Miami to New York, I’m still thinking about Anna’s words.
Maybe she was right. Finn couldn’t be trusted and neither could Astrid.
But my heart has always known what it wanted. I want something real. I want a relationship that stands the test of time. I want a man who puts me first. A man whose actions speak louder than his words.
I want a man who respects my wishes and gives me the time I need to figure out what I want in life without pressuring me or forcing me into doing his bidding.
I want a man who loves me just as I am.
A man who listens and intuitively understands what I need and then he gives it to me with no strings attached.
I want Beckett Heyward. The infuriating, rude, arrogant, insufferable man who offered me unconditional love and respect without asking for anything in return.
But what if it was a trick designed to get exactly what he wants?
“Excuse me.” I look up at the strawberry blonde in a University of Miami sweatshirt. “Can I get past? I’m in the window seat.”
“Oh. Sure.” I pull my legs to my chest so my seatmate can slide in.
“Thanks!”
“No problem.” I lower my feet to the ground and lean back in my seat.
As soon as the flight takes off, my seatmate pulls her backpack into her lap and rummages through it, taking out all the things she’ll need for a short two-hour flight—headphones, a Stanley cup, a paperback, Post-its, gel pens and glitter pens, a small ruler.
“I like to annotate,” she says when she catches me watching her.
I smile, remembering all the books I annotated and left on Beckett’s desk. “So do I.”
“Have you read the ACOTAR series?”
I shake my head. “No. Should I?”
“Oh my god, you have to! I’m obsessed. It’s like my third time reading it. I’m annotating it for my boyfriend. He promised to read it. God. I’m so excited.” She lets out a little squeal and stamps her feet on the ground.
I give her a blank look and she laughs.
“A little context would help. I met my boyfriend online. This is the first time we’re meeting in real life.”
“Wow. So you’re flying all the way to New York to meet a virtual stranger? That’s brave.” It’s exactly something I would have done at her age so my first instinct is to caution her to be careful. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” she says. “We talk all the time and we video chat so I already know him. Do you have a boyfriend?”
I shake my head. “Nope. I kicked him to the curb.”
“Then he probably deserved it. I’ve dated a lot of losers so I took a hiatus from men, you know? I was like, none of the guys I meet live up to my book boyfriends and I refuse to settle for less. Then I met Jack…. he’s a Booktuber like me… and at first, it was totally casual. I was trying to keep him in the friend zone but before I knew it, we were messaging constantly and I’d go through my day thinking… oh, I need to tell Jack. He’ll love this story. And the next thing you know, I’m spilling my guts and he’s spilling his and I was like, this guy really gets me. He’s so much better than any book boyfriend because he’s real . Not perfect. I mean, who’s perfect, right? But we’re just perfect for each other, you know?”
I nod. “Yeah, I know.”
“Anyway, I hope you find a guy like that. Someone who reads the books you recommend just to get to know you better even though he’s strictly a literary fiction kind of guy.”
I smile. “That’s the benchmark, huh?”
She smiles. “Yep. We get into these really heated discussions and it’s just the best. Because even though we’re talking about books, we’re really not. We’re revealing all these new layers of ourselves and our views on life and love through our thoughts and opinions. Plus, he makes me laugh. Find someone who makes you laugh and that you can talk to for hours and that you’re attracted to and you’ll be like, where have you been all my life?”
“So you’re not nervous about seeing him in person? You’re not worried that he won’t live up to your expectations?”
She thinks about it for a moment. “Here’s how I look at it. There are no guarantees in love or in life. It could all end tomorrow. But I’m not going to give up something that makes me happy just because I’m scared it won’t work out. As my dad always says, You can’t soar with the eagles if you’re stuck on the ground with the chickens. Moral of the story. Don’t be a chicken, Daisy.”
I do a double-take. “How do you know my name?”
Her brow furrows. “I don’t. My name is Daisy.”
I smile. “So is mine.”
Her eyes widen and her hand goes to her heart. “Have we just become… best friends?”
I laugh. I feel like I’ve just met my younger, more optimistic self. The girl who wasn’t scared to take chances or put her heart on the line.
Maybe it’s time to resurrect that version of the girl in the mirror. “I think we have.”
After that flight from Miami, I did a lot of soul searching and came to the conclusion that my seatmate was right.
There are no guarantees in life or in love. But you shouldn’t let your fears get in the way of your happiness.
Beckett made me happy, happier than I’d ever been.
I love him. I choose him. And it’s just that simple, and that complicated.
So I’m ready to risk it all for love, and in true Daisy style, I’m going for the all or nothing approach.
After getting out of my lease, I spent a week going through all my belongings. I only kept the essentials and the things that hold sentimental value. The rest I donated.
And then I said my final goodbyes to Brooklyn and to the people who have helped me along the way.
All this time I thought I was on my own. But that’s not true. I’ve never been alone. I’ve always been lucky enough to have people in my life who care about me.
“How are you feeling about everything?” Anna asks as we sip oolong tea on her sofa.
My bag is packed and waiting by the door, ready for my imminent departure and I’m ready to take a leap of faith.
“I feel like it’s a new beginning and I’m ready to trust my heart again. I feel like I’m going home.”
Where Beckett is waiting for me.
Before I leave, I hug Anna goodbye, promise to stay in touch and wheel my bag out the door and down to the waiting Uber.
The flight from New York felt like the longest six hours of my life.
When I reach the baggage claim, I check that it’s the right one before positioning myself near the carousel so I’ll be ready to grab my bag as soon as it drops.
Now that I’ve made my decision, I can’t get to Sutton Ridge fast enough.
I wish I could teleport but sadly I don’t have any superpowers, so I open my Uber app and type in the Sutton Ridge address then stare at the screen, waiting for a car to accept the ride.
I look up from my phone as my bag takes a loop around the carousel and step forward to grab it.
Someone wrestles it out of my hand and I go on the defensive, ready to fight them for it if necessary. “Hey! That’s my?—”
“Step aside, princess. I’ve got it.”
My hand falls to my side and I gape at the man holding my bag. Tall and muscley with dark, tousled hair and arctic blue eyes.
My Heathcliff. My Darcy. My girlhood crush.
I’m so shocked to see him standing before me that it takes me a good few seconds to utter a word. “What are you doing here?” I blurt out.
His brows raise. “The question is…” His gaze roams down my body before returning to my face. “What the fuck took you so long?”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You said you’d wait.”
“And I kept my promise.”
“You did. But I was planning to surprise you today.”
He smirks. “You know how much I hate surprises.”
“You would have loved this surprise. I asked Callie to keep it a secret. I can’t believe?—”
“Hey, Daisy?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
“You think you can boss me around?” I plant my hands on my hips. “That’s not gonna fly with me. Luckily, I want the same thing you do.” He laughs when I throw my arms around his neck with so much enthusiasm he has to grab my waist to steady me so we don’t both go down.
And then he lifts me right off the ground in the baggage claim at the San Francisco airport and we kiss each other dizzy.
It feels like a scene straight from a movie but it’s infinitely better because this is real life.
“I missed you so fucking much,” he says, burying his face in my hair.
“I missed you too. So much.” I pull back and look into his eyes. They’re not cold at all. Not even a little bit. I wonder if he can see that I have hearts for eyes. “Don’t ever pull that crap on me again. Because I love you. And I don’t want to have to leave your ass.”
“You’re not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me.” He lowers me to my feet and grabs my bag that toppled to the ground and carries it by the handle instead of rolling it like a normal person would.
We barrel through the doors with my hand in his and flowers blooming from my chest.
The sky is gray, the air cold, but I barely notice the winter gloom because I’m home.
When we reach his car, he tosses the bag in the trunk and pushes me against the side of the car, caging me in his arms.
Then he cradles my face in his hands and kisses my lips. “I love you, Daisy Larsson.”
He gives me another soft kiss. “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you.”
He kisses the line of my jaw. “You’re perfect just as you are.”
He kisses the side of my neck. “I choose you.”
Another kiss on the lips. “I will always choose you.”
Book boyfriends have nothing on Beckett Heyward.