4
Ember
“That was the most awkward meal I’ve ever had,” Birdie said. We were driving home, with Raymond and Dante following us.
She wasn’t wrong. I’d taken three bites of my burger and felt nauseous. The guys had finished their food, of course.
“When we get home, I suggest you talk to Dante.” My mom looked at me sidelong. “You can’t ignore him the way you did at the restaurant. He’s home. Face him, sweetie.”
I sighed and shifted in my seat.
Birdie rubbed my shoulder from the backseat. “Tara’s right. He couldn’t stop watching you. He had a look in his eyes, like he wanted to kiss you.”
“Sounds like the same look Ray had when he looked at you.” I peered over my shoulder at her in the back seat.
“Pft.” She shrugged and rolled her eyes. “It means nothing. But Dante isn’t one to play games like Raymond. You should give him a chance.”
“Why? He doesn’t know me anymore and I sure as hell don’t know him. I owe him nothing. The jerk couldn’t even text me.”
“But he asked about you.”
“Only when he called you.” God, I hated how he’d kept in touch with Birdie. I knew they texted. It made me jealous and insecure.
A few times my emotions had gone haywire, and it had nearly ended my friendship with Birdie. Not that our mothers would’ve allowed it to happen. But why had he treated me as if I meant nothing to him? We’d all grown up together. We had that hot-as-hell kiss.
“I think he was afraid.”
Afraid? Why would he be afraid? “You’re just making excuses for him.”
“Em, I’m not.” She rubbed my shoulder again. “Can you imagine having a long-distance relationship with him? It would suck not seeing or hearing from him. Some of his missions were months long. I worried so much and prayed all the time for him to be okay.”
So had I. Of course, I’d known everything about him because of Birdie. I had heard it all. Many nights I’d cried myself to sleep because I feared never seeing him again.
“And now he’s home.” Mom patted my thigh.
“And I could be pregnant.” A single tear escaped my eye. “He won’t want me when he finds out.”
“You won’t know for a couple of weeks if the procedure was a success,” Birdie said.
“And then you need to make it into the second trimester, like Doctor W said.” Mom patted my leg again to console me.
“Great, so I’ll be in limbo until May.” I peered into my side-view mirror and spotted the headlights of his Jeep. He’d lost the baby fat on his face. His jawline was sharper, and he had a neatly trimmed beard and a military flattop. He was sexy with a penetrating gaze. Everything about him screamed alpha, though he’d kept himself in check at the restaurant. But I smelled the testosterone seeping out of his pores and if I were a betting woman, I’d bet he had a boner for me.
Me.
He had a boner for ME.
But why? God, I felt even more confused than before.
“Not if you told him the truth, sweetie.”
“Mom, we agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone except Dad. And we would not tell him until I got a positive pregnancy test.”
“Crap. You’re right. We did all pinky swear not to tell anyone.”
“Well, my lips are sealed.” Birdie clicked her tongue.
“What about you, Mom?” I knew I could count on Birdie to keep her promise. My mom, on the other hand, was the outlier. With my dad, she could flip on a dime because she never lied to him. But she wouldn’t be lying, per se. She’d be keeping my secret, and I’d be the one hiding what I’d done today. Suddenly, I felt like the worst daughter ever.
“I’ll keep your secret unless he asks me directly, then all bets are off.”
“I’ll take it. So we’re all in agreement, again. Nobody says anything to anyone until I know if I’m pregnant. And then, I decide who I tell and when.”
“Agreed,” Mom and Birdie said at once.
“Good. Enough about me. What the heck was going on between you and Raymond, Bird? I swear I’ve never seen his jaw so tight. Why don’t you just sneak into his bedroom and force him to admit he likes you?”
“La, la, la, la, la. I’m not hearing this,” my mom sang. “Please stop talking or else I’ll be forced to tell Maddy what y’all talked about. You know she’ll question me when we’re alone.”
“But she knows Birdie is in love with Raymond.”
“No. She thinks I have a crush on him, but she doesn’t know I’m in love with him.”
I turned around to look her in the face. “You told me you confessed the day after—”
“Stop!” Birdie shouted and pointed at me, like a mother would warn her child. Holy crap! “Not another word.”
“So many thoughts and images are whirling in my head. Not good, ladies.” My mom turned up the radio. “Let’s be silent and enjoy the music until we get home. I heard nothing. Think nothing. Know nothing.”
I snorted at my mom. She’d always been dramatic.
But… Oh. My. God. Birdie hadn’t confessed her feelings to her mom after her one night with Raymond. That was four years ago. How could she not tell me she had chickened out?
For the rest of the drive, we didn’t speak a word about anything.
When we arrived at the compound’s gate, Klymax greeted us.
“Hey, Max,” my mom said.
“Hey. Who’s behind Ray?” Max jerked his chin behind us. He was a blond-haired, blue-eyed hottie, and the spitting image of his dad, Boxer. Max was into MMA fighting, too.
When we were younger, he toyed around with the drums, but then his brother Tyler turned out to be a gifted drummer and created a band with Frankie and Gabe. The three guys played rock covers at some of the club’s parties in between Raymond and Birdie’s country duets.
“Dante. He’s home early,” my mom replied.
“That’s fucking awesome! His parents are at home.”
“We’ll tell him. Thanks, Max.” My mom wiggled her fingers as we drove onto the property.
The sky was pitch black after six in the evening, but the light posts lit up the parking area in front of the clubhouse. My dad would be inside the bar waiting for us, as always. Naturally, my mom texted him when we were heading home. If we were a half a second late, he’d be out searching for us with my little brother, Gabe.
“Remember, we were dress shopping for Sadie’s wedding,” I told Birdie and my mom.
My mom nodded as she parked.
“Got it.” Birdie got out of the car first, collected her bags and went inside in a hurry, like her pants were on fire or she needed to pee. It was safe to assume she was ticked off at Raymond for ignoring her, but why did she go into the clubhouse instead of going home?
Interesting. If Dante wasn’t here, I’d go after Birdie to find out what she was up to.
“I’ll see you at home,” I told my mom.
“Okay, sweetie.”
I grabbed my things and made my way toward the little neighborhood with the tree-lined street on the compound. Old-fashioned lamps illuminated the single road in front of the six homes which belonged to Storm, Boxer, Lynx, Dodge, Grizzly, and my family. Not all the members lived at the compound. Sugar and Art had their own mini farm, and Ire and Ava had a home in Winters, which bordered Bastion Township.
The new generation of Knights lived in the clubhouse. Members and prospects were in the basement dorms. The council members had the suites upstairs, Maddox having the largest, as any president deserved.
Footsteps behind me grew louder, and a chill speared down my spine. I whirled around to see who was following me.
“Oh my gosh, Dante!” I shook my head. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.”
I turned around and proceeded home. His house was two down from mine, so I thought nothing of him going in my direction.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
Exhaling deeply, I noted the cold, smokey air clouding in front of me. “I thought that’s what you wanted. I mean, you ignored me for almost six years.”
“Give me a break. I didn’t ignore you. I just didn’t contact you.”
“It’s all the same to me.” I picked up my pace as I passed his house, but he continued to follow me. “Leave me alone, Dante.”
“I’m making sure you get home safely.”
“I’m safe at the compound.”
“Then why did I scare you?”
I stopped hard and turned to face him. “Look. Let’s get some things straight. We aren’t friends. We aren’t family. We don’t have to talk to each other. I’ll leave you alone and you leave me alone.”
He stared at me with that damn sexy penetrating gaze. “None of that works for me.”
“I don’t care. Just stay out of my way.” I went to leave, and he grabbed my bicep and reeled me against his body. A flash of excitement kick-started my engine.
“You don’t get to call the shots, Em.” His arm snaked around my back and held me against him. Flutters ignited in my stomach. “Now let me tell you how it’s gonna be.”
“Screw you, Dante!”
“We’ll get to that.” He winked, all cocky and in control. “But first, we are friends. We will talk to each other. We will kiss, screw, and be together in every way imaginable. You get me, gorgeous?”
“You’re insane if you think I’ll do any of that with you.”
“And you’re crazier than me if you think we won’t.” He pulled me tighter and his lips descended on mine. It happened so fast; I didn’t have time to push him away.
His free hand palmed the back of my head and turned it the way he wanted to make devouring me easier. His soft, yet firm, lips pried my mouth open. In a forceful thrust, his tongue found mine.
I groaned, tasting sour apple, then instantly remembered the hatred I felt for him.
“Stop!” I shoved him off me. “Don’t you ever do that again.” My heart raced, and I was panting like we’d just fucked each other’s brains out.
“You can try to push me away, but it will be pointless. I’m back. And I want you.”
I cackled dramatically. “Because Birdie wants Ray and not you. I’m nobody’s second choice, asshole!” I ran home, thanking the Lord for the prospects salting the sidewalk so I didn’t slip and fall.
Rushing inside my safe and warm home, I closed the door and locked it. I made my way to my bedroom, threw my bags onto the floor and took my rabbit vibrator out of my nightstand. For the first time that I could ever remember, I was aroused and wet.
Damn you, Dante!
Of course, the one guy I wanted nothing to do with was the one who turned me on. The universe was an evil bitch.
I stripped out of my bottoms, got under the blankets, and turned on my toy. I couldn’t help but wonder if inserting it would affect the insemination. It had been several hours since I was injected with another man’s semen.
What the hell. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be.
Slowly, I pushed my small vibrator in and fucked myself with it gently. My hips moved in unison and my eyes rolled back into my head. Dante’s face appeared, a smug smirk playing on his delectable lips.
“I hate you. Hate you. I. Hate. You,” I whispered as my first orgasm built. Shoving my other hand under my shirt and bra, I rolled my nipple between my thumb and finger. “Oh, yes!” I fucked my little purple toy until I covered it in cream and wilted on the bed, softly panting.
Wow!
Wow!
WOW!
If I could orgasm with only my rabbit vibrator and Dante’s face in my head, what would happen if it was his cock inside me and his lips on mine?
It would be epic, I imagined.
Sadly, the boy would never get so close to me.
At least not until I knew if I was pregnant or not. And if I was, what would he think of me? He might never speak to me again. Damn, what horrible timing for him to return.
Wait. Why had he returned early? He totally screwed up my plans. If he’d returned in five weeks like I’d thought, I would’ve known if the first attempt to get pregnant had worked. If it had, everyone would’ve known, and I wouldn’t have had to hide it.
And if I wasn’t pregnant when he returned, I might have considered him to do the deed.
Why does nothing work out for me?