10
Ember
Birdie had told me everything Dante said the other night when he drove her home from The Bullet. He believed I got the IVF, and he would be right. I was grateful Birdie hadn’t confirmed his suspicions. It should be me. It will be me.
It had taken little convincing on Birdie’s part to talk me into attending Dante’s welcome home party. And I was nervous as heck as the time grew closer to leaving for the clubhouse. Literally, feeling sick to my stomach with anticipation.
How would he act?
Would he ignore me and find a hot biker groupie to fuck?
I’d been successful in avoiding him the past couple of days, which hadn’t been difficult. I had a ton of lesson planning to do and hid in my room.
Maybe Dante gave up and decided I wasn’t worth the headache. I wouldn’t blame him. I often felt like I’d been a burden to my parents, not that they ever made me feel as such. But my endometriosis had been so debilitating. How could they not be frustrated with me?
Stop getting in your head. Mom and Dad love you.
I knew they did. I also knew I had been an angry, depressed, and hopeless teenager. Not fun and outgoing, like Birdie. The real me had been buried under a mountain of pain and exhaustion.
I caressed my stomach. It had only been a few days and there weren’t any guarantees that the IVF was successful. One second, I prayed it had been, and the next second I didn’t want anyone’s baby inside me, except for Dante’s. How messed up was I? The dude had ghosted me, and it had been almost six years since we saw each other. He’d changed and so had I.
What are you doing? Don’t go to the party.I stopped preening myself in the mirror, hanging on my closet door. Don’t be his second choice.Make him work for it.
At least a million times, my dad had told me I deserved the best and to demand excellence in all things. I should give my all and expect the same from others. But he also told me to give Dante a chance.
A knock at the door made me jump. “Yes?”
“It’s me, honey. Can I come in?”
I opened the door for my mom and let her in.
“Wow! You look hot!” She checked me out, grinning from ear to ear. I rarely got dressed up, so her reaction was genuine. “Is this all for Dante?”
“It’s all for me.”
“That’s my girl.” She winked and sat on the edge of my bed. “When will you be ready to tell your dad about your appointment on Monday?”
“Not tonight.” I shut the door and leaned against it. “I was hoping to have fun with Birdie and the girls.” With Dante’s surprise return, he’d thrown me into an emotional spiral. I’d planned to tell my dad what I’d done that night, then we’d all have time to process before I took a pregnancy test in a couple of weeks. And then process the results, for good or bad. Of course, none of that happened the way I thought it would.
“What about Dante?”
“Mom, please. The dude ghosted me for nearly six years. Don’t push me toward him.”
“Honey, I’m not. I just know what a terrific guy he is.”
“I don’t know how terrific he can be after not communicating with me after our one hot as hell kiss.”
She sighed and stared at the ceiling. “I’m still salty that I missed seeing your first make-out session.”
I laughed awkwardly as my face heated. “Would you like me to invite you to the first time we have sex?”
She made praying hands. “Will you? I’ll be quiet and stay in the darkest corner of the room.” Her face brightened like a lighthouse beacon. The freak. She would probably be thrilled to be a fly on the wall.
“Absolutely not.”
“You crush my dreams, Em.” She straightened up on the bed and got serious. “So, when are we telling your dad? If he finds out from someone who isn’t you, he’ll go ballistic.”
“I just think it would be better to wait. Why get him worked up if I’m not even preggers?”
“I don’t know, mija. It’s a risk I’m not comfortable taking. You’ve seen him lose his temper. It’s not pretty, although I find it highly arousing.”
“Mom, stop already.”
I would do anything to have her libido and dirty mind. She could literally turn any conversation into a sexual one.
“Sorry, mija.”
“Did you know it makes me nervous when you call me mija?”
“I didn’t know that.”
“Does dad suspect something is up?” My dad was Mexican and had a weird sixth sense. If he started speaking in Spanish, we all got scared. But hearing my mom kicked my anxiety up to overdrive and put me on edge. She had only called me mija when something was wrong. “Be honest.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” She shrugged and feigned fear.
“Well, I might not come home tonight if that’s the case. Your mission is to get him drunk on tequila and show him a good time.” I clucked my tongue, then admired myself in the mirror, again. I had on my favorite jeans and a skin-tight bodysuit and boots. Dressed in all black made my red hair pop against my fair skin.
Mom was right. I looked hot.
“That’s a fabulous plan. It’s been a while since we got wild in bed.”
“Please stop right there. I don’t want to know anything about your sex life.” I’d already heard them my whole life. Some kids would be in therapy after what I’d been exposed to. Eh, not me, though. I’d seen a lot worse at the clubhouse. So long as my parents were happily in love and devoted to each other, it was all good.
“Ready, sis?” Gabe knocked hard on my door and made me jump. I wasn’t usually so high-strung. That was what Dante did to me.
“Yes! I’ll be out in a sec.”
“I guess we’ll see you there.” Mom rose from the bed and gave me a hug. “Have fun tonight, okay? Just let your heart lead you.”
“Lead me to Dante?”
“Only if it feels right.” She squeezed me tightly. “I’d ask if you had protection, but you might already be preggers.” She snorted and released me.
“Why do you assume I’m going to have sex?”
“Have you seen him?” She fanned her face. “If I were twenty years younger, I’d snag him in a heartbeat. I mean, if your dad didn’t exist, of course.”
“Of course.” I loved her to death. She could brighten my darkest days just with her off-the-wall personality. “But you’d have some heavy competition with me in the running.”
“Oh, he’d pick you over me a million times over.”
“Jeez, laying it on a little thick, don’t you think?”
“Un poquito.” She gestured an inch with her fingers. “A tiny bit.”
“You’re really throwing off my good-time vibes with all this Spanish. I gotta get out of here before you place one of your voodoo, new age curses on me.” I grabbed my coat and darted out, leaving my mom cackling like the wicked witch of the north.
A few minutes later, after a stroll in the brutal cold, Gabe and I entered the warm clubhouse. Classic rock blared from the bar. I sniffed weed in the air. I’d love a few puffs to chill me out.
My ears perked up and dialed into a woman mewling as she got railed. It appeared to be a typical party night at the club…
At only seven-ish, I sensed it would be a loud and looong night.
Scanning my surroundings, I zeroed in on Birdie at a table with Demi, Dezi, and Sadie.
“I’ll see ya,” I told my brother and went over to my girlfriends and announced as cheerfully as possible, “I’m here!” Removing my coat, I shimmied my body, trying to get my fun-girl juices flowing without the aid of marijuana, which wouldn’t be good if I conceived a baby on Monday.
“Yay!” Birdie clapped, all cutesy and bubbly. “I saved you a seat by me.”
“Thanks, babe. How are the twins?” I asked Sadie as I hung my coat on the back of the chair and waved at Dante’s sisters. If they were here, he probably was too. My heart rate kicked up a notch.
“Adorable as ever.” She placed her hand on her heart and teared up. “Cat asked if she could call me mom after the wedding.” Sadie and Bryce had been together for a couple of years, and the twins were five. They were the sweetest, most perfect little family. I envied them. Would do anything to have twins so I would be at peace getting the hysterectomy my doctor recommended.
“I hope you said yes,” I replied.
“I did. Told her I would be honored. Tori then jumped right in saying she couldn’t wait to call me mommy. They are my heart. I love them so much.”
“They are so lucky to have you,” Birdie said. “Bet they’d like a baby brother.”
“Oh, they would! Bryce would love a son. But I’m a little nervous. What if we get a girl?”
“Then you try for a boy next,” I told her. Keep trying for a boy seemed like a simple and logical solution.
“And if that one is a girl?”
“Try until you get a boy.”
“Oh gosh, I could have a dozen kids at that rate.” She shook her head. “Four is my limit with all I have going on between my dance studio and holding down the fort when Bryce is working twelve-hour days during the summer months at his construction business.”
“Four is a lot.” Birdie sipped her drink. She didn’t want kids, but she enjoyed loving on other people’s babies. Kids weren’t for everyone, and that was okay. “Too bad medical advancements haven’t developed a way to pick the gender of your baby.”
“I wish there was a way,” Sadie said.
I wished I could pick the gender like I did a sperm donor.
“You’re looking mighty tasty tonight,” Dante whispered at the shell of my ear from behind me. The warmth of his breath and the scent of his cologne made me tingle.
“I’m not on the menu,” I whispered back.
“We’ll see about that.” He caressed my shoulder, and I hated how his touch made me desire more. “I’ll be back.” He stalked away and took the oxygen in my lungs with him. I watched as he greeted people and hugged them.
“He’s thrilled you’re here,” Demi told me, playfully bumping her shoulder into mine.
“How can you tell?”
“Because he keeps looking at you.”
Sure enough, he was staring at me with a heart-stopping smile.
“She’s happy to see him, too.” Birdie laughed, then fell silent a second later. “What the fuck?”
I followed her gaze to Raymond. “Who’s the woman?”
“Better be his long-lost cousin.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Or I’ll kill her. No, I’ll kill him.”
The busty blonde snaked her hand around his arm and appeared very comfortable and cozy with Raymond. Not good at all.
“I need another drink.” My bestie vaulted out of her chair and ran into a biker I’d never seen before. “Oh, sorry.”
My gaze dropped to his massive biker boots, traveled up his long legs, passed over his thick thighs, and skirted back and forth over his broad chest. Mercy, mercy, mercy. No words would do this man justice in describing him. The blond stood tall, at least six feet of muscle, and of sheer perfection, with tattoos on his exposed skin, a beard, and God-like Viking looks. Mercy, mercy, mercy! Hell, he could’ve been in the television show.
“You can bump into me anytime, beautiful. Preferably when I’m naked on my back.”
Who was this dude?
Birdie seemed lost for words, which was a rarity.
The Viking God wore a leather cut, but I couldn’t see his patch.
“What’s your name, gorgeous?” The deep timber in his voice shook the ground under my feet.
“Melody. And you?”
Weird. Why didn’t she tell him Birdie?
“Saint, but I’m not one.” He winked at her. “Who do you belong to?”
“Nobody, but I am Storm’s daughter.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Didn’t mean any disrespect.”
And this was how it usually went for Birdie with men. They all feared Storm. How could she ever fall in love with her dad, scaring off the guys?
“It’s okay. How about you buy me a drink, and all will be forgotten?” Birdie told him in a flirty tone and looped her arm around his. Her performance was for Raymond’s benefit, who was watching her like a hawk, while the busty blonde kissed his neck.
“It’d be my pleasure.” He led Birdie toward the bar. I had to hand it to her. She had Ray by the balls. Even with his date sucking on him, Buxom Blonde didn’t exist while his attention was on Birdie.
I’d bet the farm my bestie could hold him in a vice for the entire evening if she didn’t leave Saint’s side. Ray was an idiot. He would lose her if he didn’t do something soon, and I wouldn’t feel bad if he lost her to Saint, the Viking God.
And now I had a perfect view of the rocker on his back. Saint was a Knight from Storm’s cousin’s club in Montana. I wondered how dear old Storm felt about his daughter having a drink with a much older man…
“Don’t get any ideas.” Dante dropped into Birdie’s chair.
“What nonsense are you spewing now?”
“Saint. I saw y’all drooling over him. He’s too old. Almost forty.”
“Birdie doesn’t seem to mind.”
“I know her game. She’s pissed at Ray for bringing a date, so she’s going to drive him insane hanging all over Saint.”
“You must be so proud of yourself. I’m sure nobody knows Birdie as well as you do, right?”
He cocked his head. “Just stating my opinion.”
“Sounds more like you believe they are facts.”
“Do you disagree?”
I popped my shoulders. “I don’t know. Maybe Birdie is into an older, mature man who knows and goes after what he wants.”
“Doubt it.”
“So, we’re just going to talk about Birdie?”
“No. Would you like to dance?”
“Pass.”
“Go dance with him.” Demi nudged me.
Dante stood and extended his hand out to me. Was he crazy? If we danced, people might get the wrong idea. My parents hadn’t arrived, but when they did, I didn’t want them to see me in Dante’s arms. They’d for sure think we were a couple.
Not the worst thing ever.
“Well, Em?” Dante moved his hand closer to mine.
“Just one dance.” I accepted his offer, and surprisingly, it felt good.
“Just one to start.” He led me to a spot and pulled me against him. The club and world faded into nothingness.
I’m doomed.If I didn’t tell him about my procedure, the first chance I got, it would be like I was deceiving him. And that would be the wrong way to begin whatever was between us.
On the dance floor, Dante held me close. It should be a crime to smell so damn good. Worse, to feel so incredible against me.
“Em, I missed you like crazy and I’m sorry I didn’t keep in touch,” he whispered into my ear.
“You hurt me, Dante.” I lifted my gaze to his. “You do not know how badly I want to hate you.”
“I know, baby. I deserve that. Let’s get out of here so we can talk.”
“But this is your party. You can’t leave.”
“I can do whatever I want, and I want to spend the evening with you.”
He was saying all the right things, and I felt more guilty than before. “I’ll leave with you, but you need to know some things can’t be changed. Stuff has happened in the past and could affect the future.”
“No matter what has happened in the past or at the fertility clinic, you are my future.” He lowered his mouth to mine and captured my lips in a desperate, air-stealing kiss.