Chapter 5
Two days later, Elizabeth took advantage of a few hours by herself.
Charlotte, along with her family, went for a ride around the parish, but Elizabeth had no inclination to hear more praise of Lady Catherine and the excellent living of her cousin, so she pretended a slight headache and remained at home.
She wrote three letters—to Jane, her aunt, and her father—then ventured out for a walk. For an hour, her steps took her along lovely paths beneath green, leafy trees caressed by the spring sunshine.
Elizabeth returned rather unwillingly, unhappy at the thought of having to listen to the details of her friend’s visit, and gathered her patience to endure the daunting task.
She reached the path that separated the Parsonage from Rosings Park, where a small grove with appealing shadows and brightly coloured flowers invited her to walk down the narrow lane.
She breathed deeply, looking up at the sunlight breaking through the thick, leafy canopy, when her attention was captured by a movement in the grass.
Someone had been lying there and hastily rose; when their eyes met, surprise and embarrassment were mutual.
“Miss de Bourgh? Are you unwell?”
Lady Catherine’s daughter looked flushed and disquieted; her hair and clothes were in some disorder as she had been resting on a small blanket.
“No…I am well…Miss Bennet…I did not expect to see anyone here at this time.”
The young woman had hurried to her feet so quickly that she almost fell. Elizabeth clutched her arm to render support.
“No, I am not hurt. I just took a short stroll. It is such a lovely day. Are you alone, Miss Bennet?”
“Yes. My friends are visiting in the parish, and I took the opportunity for a short walk. The gardens are just beautiful.”
“Indeed…”
“Miss de Bourgh, are you alone too?”
“I am…the others are resting. I enjoy the solitude from time to time…”
“I see…I shall leave you then. I apologise for disturbing you.”
“You may stay, Miss Bennet. I was doing nothing of consequence.”
Elizabeth was uncertain how to proceed. Anne did not look harmed, but she appeared slightly distressed. Her cheeks had more colour than the last time they met, and her fingers were holding a few blades of grass. Near her was a small, dark bottle that seemed to have been used.
“You should sit, Miss Bennet; we do not want you to be seen from the house.”
Elizabeth obeyed without much thought.
“I do not have Mother’s permission to walk by myself. She believes I am not strong and it is not safe to leave the house alone,” Anne explained.
“She is worried for your well-being as any mother should be,” Elizabeth offered.
“I know. Unfortunately, I am weak and sick. I have been like this my entire life.” Anne appeared absent-minded as she spoke.
“It is good to take care of yourself then,” Elizabeth answered hesitantly. How could she reply to such a statement?
“Yes. But everything is so silent, so boring, so slow…like there is no life at all. Even the grass is more alive than I am.”
Elizabeth listened, dumbfounded. She was not prepared for such a conversation and tried to bring some cheer to the discussion. “I understand that two of your cousins will arrive soon. I am sure they are pleasant company.”
“They are only coming because they have to. I barely speak to them at all. One of my cousins always demands music, laughter, companionship, parties…but of course, Mother would never agree to it.”
“Mr Darcy?”
“No, not Fitzwilliam—Richard. Fitzwilliam is more like me. I have never heard him laugh, you know. But perhaps he is just displeased that he has to visit us every year. I know he would rather be anywhere else.”
“I am sure both your cousins enjoy visiting you. I understand they even decided to come earlier this year. They must be eager to see you.”
“Or they are eager to come so they may leave sooner. Only Mother says otherwise. I know I shall never marry my cousin Fitzwilliam. He has never agreed to it, and he never will. He is only reluctant to contradict my mother. Who would want such a wife? I shall never be able to provide an heir, nor am I able to run a household. I am useless. I might not even live long enough to marry.”
“Miss de Bourgh, I am sure you distress yourself too much. I can see you are troubled. May I accompany you back home?”
“Oh no, Mother would be very upset if she found that I walked out alone, but she would be furious if she saw me with you. She does not want me in the company of strangers or anyone outside the family.”
“Surely, Lady Catherine cannot control what you do, Miss de Bourgh. You are of age, I believe. You are entitled to do as you wish, are you not?”
Anne stared at her in confusion; a puzzled expression widened her eyes. “What do you mean? I cannot contradict Mother. Besides, I am not strong enough to do anything by myself.”
Elizabeth struggled to find the proper reply.
She regretted mentioning the matter and doubted that Miss de Bourgh was composed enough to carry on a reasonable discussion.
She was tempted to leave but could not abandon Anne there.
Whatever the reason for her torment, it could not be ignored. A deep pity warmed her heart.
Here was a woman of great fortune, who was born and raised under the most favourable circumstances and had no reason to worry for her future; and yet, it appeared she had neither future prospects nor present awareness.
Dominated by a demanding mother, she waited to wed a cousin who obviously avoided complying with what was expected of him.
Lonely and alone, she sat in the grass of a beautiful garden she owned, afraid to be seen—so great a means of living with so little freedom to actually do so.
“Miss de Bourgh, I would suggest moving closer to the house through the grove. The trees will preserve our privacy for a while. From there, I shall return to the Parsonage, and you may return home.”
The reply came reluctantly. “Very well.”
They walked together, one stepping decidedly, the other carefully, watching the ground beneath her feet.
“Miss Bennet? If you should happen to be walking alone…I might be in the same place over the next few days. Just please be so kind as to not mention it to anyone else.”
“You must not worry for my secrecy, Miss de Bourgh. I trust I shall find a few minutes for a stroll tomorrow at the same time.” Elizabeth was surprised to notice a trace of a contented smile on her companion’s face.
She felt guilty for all her mischievous thoughts regarding the young lady she had not taken the trouble to know.
Anne de Bourgh’s loneliness must be unbearable, and she had no real chance to end it.
She was painfully realistic about her future and her cousin’s lack of interest in marrying her, despite Lady Catherine’s plans.
And that, perhaps, was for the better. Being trapped in a marriage lacking in love and respect was equally as bitter a fate as being caged at Rosings with Lady Catherine for the rest of her life.
They separated near the fence at the back garden, and Elizabeth observed Anne enter through the servants’ door.
Her heart ached as she turned towards the Parsonage.
Suddenly, Anne’s statement that she had never heard Darcy laugh came to mind.
She could not remember his laughing either, but he did smile a few times in her presence.
However, it was impossible to say whether Mr Darcy’s smile hid amusement or something entirely and frighteningly different.
∞∞∞
The carriage moved on at a steady pace, and the colonel chatted amiably, but Darcy scarcely heard a word. The weather was lovely, but his heart was burdened with worry. The carriage was taking him not towards Rosings but towards her.
The haste behind their visit was his unspoken desire to see her. Everything connected to her was a secret he struggled to conceal. And everything about her was a desire he also tried to overcome and hide as deeply as possible in his mind and in his soul.
Was she enjoying the Park? She must be taking long walks around the Parsonage. He liked riding through the fields, so it was not impossible that they would meet sometime.
The mere notion of seeing her alone in the woods stirred his thoughts as chills touched his skin.
“So, are you prepared to answer more questions about your impending marriage?” the colonel asked.
Darcy responded with a glare. “There is no impending marriage. I shall take this opportunity to talk to Anne. The situation must be settled once and for all.”
“I hope this visit will be less boring than the last one. I never imagined a fortnight could be as long as last year’s visit to Rosings. Nobody plays, nobody sings, nobody laughs. You know, I often wonder whether Anne is truly ill or just sick of all the boredom.”
“We should not joke about Anne’s health.”
“I do not—quite the contrary. I would like to have another doctor attend her. I often speak to my mother about this, and I have a hard time understanding Aunt Catherine’s reluctance to seek a second—even third—opinion on such an important matter.”
“Lady Catherine seems to trust only in Dr. Crawford. I agree that Anne should search for other opinions. I have offered to escort her to London several times. She could stay with your parents or with Georgiana and Mrs Annesley. But she cannot be persuaded to do anything that does not meet with Aunt Catherine’s approval. ”
“Aunt Catherine will not allow her to leave Rosings unless she is married.”
“Richard, we have already debated the reasons that I will never marry Anne. Travelling to London is just another on that list. But that does not diminish my concern for her or my desire to do what is best for her improvement,” Darcy spoke in earnest.
“I wonder whether the presence of the parson’s guests might bring some animation to Rosings. That is—if Aunt Catherine allows them to be around.”
The colonel changed the subject, but Darcy had no reply.