Chapter 2
Jonah
At the base of the steps to his private jet, Rollick claps me on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be fine. What’s a little glow? And I’ve met a lot worse beings you could be connected to, for however long it lasts.”
I force a smile. I know the demon is trying to be reassuring, but his typical coolly casual approach doesn’t do much to ease the uneasiness that’s gnawing at me. He’s already glancing off toward the horizon.
I suspect my problem is hardly the most pressing thing on his mind. It is mine rather than his, after all.
“Is everything all right?” I ask.
I hesitate to mention Quinn: the woman he’s been dedicated to for as long as I’ve known him, the woman who saved my life as a toddler and taught me most of what I know about using my sorcerous skills. If her health is faltering again, Rollick won’t want to have the fact rubbed in.
The demon’s tone stays breezy. “Other than one rather puzzling rift? There’s nothing to concern yourself with. I always have some concern or another to stay on top of.”
He dips his head to me in farewell and strides up the steps into the jet.
I head across the dusty ground to the sprawling stucco academy buildings that stand just ten minutes’ walk away from the small airfield. The rest of my “team” went inside as soon as we arrived, but I wanted to see Rollick off.
Maybe I was hoping he’d offer some actual advice. But I’m not really sure what kind of advice I need, so it’s hard to blame him for failing to provide it. Mentoring isn’t really the demon’s style anyway.
Despite what he did say, I can’t totally ignore the faint pulse of warmth from the glowing spot on my chest. It comes with the vague but undeniable awareness that not far away, Peri’s heart is beating nearly as quickly as my own.
Alongside the rhythm flow the twinges of uncertainty and embarrassment that’ve trickled into me since we first realized that she’d locked us into these strange bonds—and that she couldn’t remove the connection.
The awareness of her makes my gut twist. I simultaneously want to go comfort her and to stay as far away as I can.
I never wanted—I mean, I did want her, in all her dazzling, buoyant sweetness—but I never would have indulged those desires—
As I step into the building, the sight of Shanty waiting in the hall derails my anxious train of thought.
The siren tilts her head toward the other end of the pale-walled hallway. “The rest of the administrative staff would like to speak with you.”
My stomach knots tighter. As I follow her, I can’t help making one pointed observation. “You waited until Rollick was gone.”
Shanty shrugs with a rustle of her dark blue hair. “The headmaster had other matters to attend to. He’s already spoken to you at length about the situation, I’m guessing.”
And the rest of the board members know that the demon is vaguely fond of me. He might have overruled the idea of whatever this meeting is about before it started.
I did help lead a team of the academy’s most incorrigible students to defeat a sorcerer who’d been harming shadowkind and humans alike for years… but it’s hard to imagine they’re calling me in just to congratulate me on a job well done.
When we step into the bright room with its curving table, I find one chair placed on the opposite side, across from the board of administrators. Normally I’d be sitting behind the table with the other board members, but today the interrogation spot is clearly meant for me.
If my stomach could sink any farther, it’d be dropping through the floor.
Shanty joins the four figures already waiting in their spots along the table. Pearl shoots me a dimpled smile, but the succubus is the only being who looks at all content.
Her wife, Toni—the only other human on the board—is leaning her wiry arms on the table, her posture stiff.
Gnash the tiger shifter tips his burly frame back in his chair, his gaze narrowed at me as if he’s considering pouncing.
And Al’s sallow face is set in an expression of distaste, but to be fair, that’s pretty much always how the vampire looks unless we’re discussing one of his favorite historical eras.
I take my seat and fold my arms over my chest. “What’s this about?”
Gnash snorts. “I think you already know, kid. Rollick told us all about this special new mark you got. We’d like to know why one of your students thought it’d be a good idea to get all mate-y with you.”
Pearl shoots him a chiding look and aims another smile at me. “It’s standard procedure, to confirm that nothing untoward happened. So we can officially say we discussed the situation.”
The others don’t look so sure they’ll get that confirmation.
Shanty sighs. “Why don’t you tell us everything that’s happened between you and Periwinkle?”
I swallow thickly. “There isn’t much to tell.
She’s been in my Geography and Culture class.
I’ve given her a little advice outside of that, nothing more than I’ve offered plenty of other students.
I was assigned to lead the team of unstable beings she was a part of, and I directed her the same way I did the other three. ”
Toni arches her eyebrows. “So you had no interest in her beyond the professional?”
Another jab of guilt lances through me. I don’t think it’d be wise to lie about this—Peri won’t, if they ask her.
And if I lie, who am I to say I haven’t done anything wrong?
“I’ve felt some attraction,” I admit in an even tone. “I’d imagine you’re all aware that what we feel isn’t exactly under our control. I’ve never acted on those feelings. In fact, when I realized the interest was developing, I took steps to keep more distance from her.”
Al’s lips curl with more disdain. “Was she aware of this ‘attraction’?”
Shame flares along the same line the guilt traveled.
“Yes. I hid it as well as I could, but her main shadowkind power is picking up on emotions. When she indicated that she’d noticed, I was firm about the fact that nothing was going to come of those feelings.
She never pushed for me to give in to them. ”
But maybe I should have put distance between us sooner, and then she wouldn’t have noticed at all. Maybe I did indulge in my attraction farther than I should have let myself.
Why would she latch on to me this way if I haven’t led her to believe it’d be welcome, one way or another?
How the hell can I expect any of my colleagues or students to respect me as an authority figure when I’m encouraging mating bonds with beings who should be off-limits?
The same concerns are echoed on the faces of the administrative board. If I can’t convince myself I haven’t screwed up, how can I expect them to believe it?
Pearl turns to the others with a bounce of her blond curls.
“It isn’t fair to expect him to keep his feelings totally secret when she has a power like that.
Hasn’t most of the trouble she’s gotten into at the academy been because of her noticing her classmates’ feelings when they’d rather she didn’t? ”
Gnash lets out a dismissive grunt and focuses back on me. “If what you’re saying is true, why do you think she attached herself to you this way?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “But it wasn’t only me.
It was all four of us who were part of the team.
We’d just had a major victory—she dealt with a sorcerer who’d held her captive in the past—a lot of other emotions were running high.
From what she’s said, it mostly came out of happiness about what we’d all accomplished together, not romantic feelings. ”
Toni clasps her hands on the tabletop. “That does line up with what Rollick reported.”
Shanty nods, her dark eyes trained on me. “We’ll be speaking with the team you were supervising for additional details. For now, I don’t think there’s any reason to enforce sanctions. You can return to teaching your regular classes tomorrow as planned.”
She pauses, her gaze flicking to my chest where my shirt conceals the mark. “Take some time today to sort out your thoughts. I’m sure you have a lot to consider.”
No kidding.
“Thank you.” I dip my head respectfully and get up. I might be a board member, but that’s mainly because of my sorcerous powers. I’m fully aware that even Toni has more than a decade of experience on me. The shadowkind members have centuries.
It wouldn’t be much of a loss for them to kick me out if they thought I’d exploited my position to prey on a student.
As I leave the room, my innards feel just as tangled as before. Seeing Sorsha propped against the wall in the hallway outside loosens the tension just a little.
My foster mom offers me a crooked smile and motions for me to walk with her. “I heard the bigwigs ambushed you. I hope it wasn’t too harsh a conversation.”
I shake my head. “They asked the questions anyone would have asked. It’s an unusual situation, without any precedent. I didn’t know you’d stuck around.”
“Not for long. I wanted to check on you before we left.” She sweeps her flame-red ponytail back over her shoulder and peers at me from her nearly equal height. “You couldn’t have been prepared for anything like this. Are you going to be okay?”
The phoenix shifter has never been particularly maternal, but I’ve never doubted that my well-being matters to her. She and the shadowkind men who helped raise me made sure I was comfortable, entertained, and protected, which is more than many parents by birth accomplish.
As I’ve gotten older, it’s become more obvious that Sorsha is mostly winging the whole foster mom thing. All the same, it’s nice to have someone looking out for me.
I shrug with feigned nonchalance, because there isn’t much she can do if I say I don’t know. Her phoenix fire isn’t going to burn away this connection—and I’d rather not find out what’d happen if she tried.
“It’s done,” I say. “It might not last. Even if it does, it doesn’t have that much impact on my life if I don’t let it. Just one more adjustment.”
“Well, if you need any advice on complicated matters of the heart, I’m not sure how much I could offer, but Ruse would be more than happy to weigh in.”
A genuine chuckle tumbles out of me. I bet her beloved incubus has plenty he’d like to say about this situation and how I should handle it, but I suspect his attitude would be a lot more permissive than should apply in my situation. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
She ruffles my hair. “We’re only a phone call away.”
When she’s gone, the mix of trepidation and guilt rises up inside me again. I wander toward my room in the staff quarters, but the thought of sitting still itches at me.
I end up heading outside and setting off across one of the hiking trails that winds through the dry New Mexico terrain toward the ruddy mountains in the distance.
Normally if I wanted a workout, I’d go to the gym or the climbing wall, but I feel the need to get some literal distance from the being who marked me.
And the climbing wall reminds me of my conversation with Peri out there—when she attempted the wall herself and her fall led to us nearly kissing.
My feet smack the hard-packed earth with satisfying thuds. I pick up my pace to a jog, looking to work up a sweat under the late-spring sun. When my heart is pounding and my muscles are stretching, the exertion burns away the mental clutter for a sense of clarity.
At least, it usually does. I’ve only made it maybe a mile from the school buildings when a prickling sensation runs through the middle of my chest beneath the mark.
At first I ignore the mild discomfort. But as I lope onward, the prickling deepens into a full out spike.
I stop, peering down at myself, and the pain doesn’t ebb. It pulses on alongside that distant heartbeat that isn’t mine.
Fuck. It appears this link between us comes with a short leash.
With a shiver that’s at odds with the warm desert air, I turn and start back the way I came.