Chapter 19
Fia
Zolt made me nocturnal. For the next three days, our schedule was: fuck all night, sleep until mid-afternoon, race each other, eat at the pub with his friends, fuck again.
And when it came to going back to England, I was so hooked on him that I invited him along.
Somehow, amidst all our chaos, I still finalised his medical report and sent it to Livie and the StormSprint medical team.
But I didn’t read my emails. I couldn’t bring myself to read what Yvette said in response, worried that what I’d put would make him unable to race next week. I’d copied it word for word from Hungarian, full of his pain and long-term ramifications.
The visual of his bike crashing and exploding replayed in my mind like a gif, back and forth, back and forth.
In bed, I traced the scar below his collarbone and pressed kisses down his chest.
He’d been so close to death.
Maybe that was why I invited him to my dad’s 60th birthday. I wasn’t ready to let him out of my sight, let alone leave the country. And it was maybe why I didn’t leave on Monday as I should have.
My mum had hired out the Davidson Hall in London with its 16th-century charm and sparkling chandeliers. And anyone who was anyone in the motor racing world would be there. So it felt only fitting that my plus one was a MotoBike Racing Champion.
Even if my stomach flip-flopped with anticipation.
My mum was busy prepping the venue when I finally got home after saying goodbye to Zolt at his hotel, with a little more than a kiss.
Whenever he’d been to England, it was either at the Silverstone track, his hotel room, or his publicist taking him from one event to the other. He said that in the two days we had here, he wanted to explore. And I offered to be his tour guide.
That was innocent enough, right? We could keep our hands off each other while walking in Richmond Park and looking at art in the Tate. I hoped.
But there was this little excited buzz in my chest that he didn’t want to keep me naked in his hotel room. He wanted to do things with me, like a boyfriend.
Even if that’s what he could never actually be.
We just needed to get each other out of our systems. Then we’d be fine.
So I told myself the touring was a practice of being step-siblings.
Dad was in the dark on all matters. He thought that we were going to a fancy restaurant, and he grumbled to Everly and me when Mum had laid out a tux. “Where the fuck are we going?” he grumbled in French. “Tea with the queen?”
I laughed, and Ever rolled her eyes, looking down in her clutch.
She looked stunning in her red floor-length dress.
He hadn’t twigged anything was up when she’d announced herself in the living room, ready for the limo that would make him die of shame.
Everly strongly believed in being overdressed rather than under.
But when I changed into my black, sparkly number with the lattice trim, he did a double-take. “Dinner, yeah?” he’d grunted in disbelief.
Ever pulled him off the sofa and told him to get changed.
He was grumpier than usual, and I tried to act as if it had nothing to do with me, and where he believed I had been for the last week. He hated his birthday.
And Mum was making a huge show of him for his 60th as he deserved.
My sister’s body language was rigid around me, but she often forgot her grudge, catching herself laughing with me over just how melodramatic our Dad was.
But she was furious.
When Dad grunted at the sight of the limo — with Luca popping up the hood of it with a huge grin — I shuffled to sit beside her while Dad berated the driver, asking over and over where we were going.
“We’ll talk later,” she said in French to me. It was her party trick whenever she didn’t want Luca to know what we were saying. “Now is not the time.”
I was willing to make that ‘later’ into a never. But Everly was my best friend in the whole world, and the thought of her being angry at me made my hands numb.
Luca smiled, and I settled into the ride, my heel tapping against my seat.
Zolt would be there.
And it had been hours, but I was excited to see him in a suit again.
Mum stood at the front doors to the mansion, arms spread wide as Dad got out of the car last. Behind her stood all of our friends and family.
Nana had flown over from France. Abbé had lied to him on the phone earlier about still being in South Africa.
But it wasn’t just his nearest and dearest. There had to be over a hundred people.
The people he’d directed. The people he’d raced with.
They’d all come here for him.
Dad never cried. But he tried to blink his tears away, taking my mum’s embrace, speechless. “This is a bit more than a meal.”
Everyone laughed, and I could feel myself get choked up.
And this wasn’t even half of it.
“You did the video, right?” Ever asked me as we climbed the steps. “In amongst all your other, higher priorities?”
I nodded. “Of course I did.”
She huffed, lifting her skirt so as not to fall on it while we reached the building and the cheerful classical music. An orchestral rendition of ‘Pink Pony Club,’ I was sure my dad would screw his nose up at it if he knew.
“I’m allowed to have other relationships, Everly.”
She whipped around. “I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m saying our Dad is the best Dad there could ever be. You don’t know what you have to give up as a parent sometimes. He would do anything to protect us. And if that means getting Imre sacked, I trust his judgement, Zsófia.”
But I didn’t.
Of course, a conversation had happened in the time I’d been gone.
Everly thought I should switch teams and risk not having the full experience.
Dad thought he should be fired.
And Zolt thought we could be together.
No one was thinking logically.
Livie and Nix interrupted our conversation. “Hello, ladies,” Livie said, eyes pingponging between us.
“I didn’t think you could make it!” Ever squealed and wrapped her in a hug. “I thought this little bugger was keeping you home.” She gestured to Livie’s stomach.
“Hey, I’m a larger-than-average bugger, thank you,” Nix said.
Luca laughed.
And it hadn’t hit me quite like this before. That I might live with these people often, but I wasn’t one of them. It wasn’t that they weren’t welcoming and friendly. And it wasn’t that I didn’t class them as my friends… I was just a lot younger than them. Babied.
The feeling sank low in my chest as I was rocked with nausea. I’d been the tag-along sister for years, but I’d always had my own friends. At university. School. Netball. Jordan.
And now I was travelling the world… those friendships had slipped away.
Maybe I’d have to befriend Nora or something.
“Livie, I sent the report,” I said, just to say something. To stay relevant. To be seen.
“Oh, I saw, thank you,” she said and hugged me in greeting. “Did you not see my reply?”
I had. “Not yet, sorry,” I said. “I had a flight today, and I’ve just been everywhere…”
“From Hungary,” Everly chimed in.
They shared a look, and my breath stuttered. I didn’t belong with these people. I didn’t know where I belonged.
A hand on the low of my back grounded me, and I closed my eyes as a soothing voice whispered in my ear, “Is that gym bro?”
Livie’s eyes widened, and Ever scoffed when they saw him. But I softened.
“Who?” I stepped forward, and Zolt’s hand fell from me. Thank god.
He nodded towards one of the tables.
And there sat Jordan, my ex.
I expected to feel sick at the sight of him, but instead, what hit was nostalgia. He’d been my confidant for six years — from catching my sister’s ex as a creepy groomer, to laughing when I failed my driving licence three times. He’d been safe. Familiar. But not mine anymore.
With Zolt here, all my nausea was gone.
Only the inner eye rolls at Mum inviting him. She always loved the idea of me being with a doctor.
“Gym bro?” I laughed.
“Ex-boyfriend,” he said through gritted teeth.
And that went right to my core with fire.
“What’s he doing here?”
His continued jealousy and the bitter taste of his words made me want to thrust him into one of the other rooms and have my way with him.
But I forced a sigh, trying to expel all the horny energy inside me, and wondered just how honest I could be.
“We were together since I was sixteen,” I admitted. Six years when you were that young felt like a lifetime. Sure, I’d hooked up with a guy before Zolt, but… There would always be a soft spot for Jordan because he was a nice guy. Just not my nice guy. “My dad and he got on really well.”
He grunted, and Everly glared at our interaction. “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re not on the guest list.”
He wasn’t phased. He didn’t even act like she’d spoken.
“He helped me with the report,” I said. “While I was with Imre. And…” I felt myself looking around the room, a telltale sign that I was lying. I focused on her, trying to steady my breathing. “To thank him, I offered for him to come. I haven’t made use of my plus one.”
Her eyes were still narrow. “That doesn’t seem wise.”
“May be proud her,” Zolt said in English and gestured to me.
And my soul just about cringed out of my body.
But we were called to dinner, and thankfully, Zolt and I were wedged between Nix and Luca.
Which made our lives easier because Mum and Dad were far. Though Mum did bend to kiss me on the cheek before saying, “Nice of you to join us, darling.”
It would take me a while to get out of the hole I had dug myself.
We ate the food, and for once, it was so nice to be isolated by language.
Zolt and I could talk without worrying we would be overheard or understood.
We just kept our hands to ourselves. He said how he’d gone to a supermarket and found a scone-style sandwich that he loved.
He found our country absolutely ‘insane.’
I doubted many people got to see that side of Zolt. Eager to learn, enjoying small moments.
He said on our tour, we would have to get some for a picnic.
And I couldn’t help but raise my brows.