February 17 | Monday #11
“I was in the car with him. A drunk driver hit us. Dad died on the spot. At least, that’s what I was told, because I have no memory of that moment at all.
Nothing, not even flashes,” Oscar confessed, and Will looked at him in surprise.
“The doctor who examined me said it was a kind of block caused by trauma. That the mind tries to cope with tragedy by… hiding it in the subconscious. That I would remember as I got older or something would trigger the memory. So far, nothing like that has happened,” he stated, and he didn’t seem happy about it; on the contrary.
“As a child, I had the strangest thoughts. I didn’t remember, so I was convinced everyone was lying to me.
That my father was alive, that it was some big conspiracy, and that he would come back eventually.
When I grew up, I realized it wasn’t true, but something still felt wrong.
I remember that right after he died, suspicious people started hanging around our house.
I heard my mom arguing with them a few times.
Later, she told me they were loan sharks.
That my dad had massive debts. I don’t know how that’s possible.
He ran a successful business and it seemed like we didn’t lack for anything, but apparently, it was all for show.
Anyway, eventually, it got dangerous. I remember one night they set our house on fire.
Mom woke up in time and that’s the only thing that saved us.
After that incident, we moved to Oakheart.
We lived there peacefully for a few years, until one night my mom was attacked on her way home from work.
She was in a terrible state.” Recalling that moment clearly terrified Oscar.
His hands were shaking violently, and his voice was breaking and thick with emotion.
“I remember sitting with her in the hospital, day and night. As soon as she got out, she decided we would move again. This time we changed our last name and came here. A few months later, she gave birth.” Will turned pale.
He understood the implication of the boy’s earlier words.
Something clenched in his stomach. “My brother was born prematurely. He was very weak, but he survived, and we thought it would only get better from there, but he’s still sick.
And he’s getting worse every year.” Tears streamed down Oscar’s cheeks.
“Nothing in my life ever works out the way it should. When I met Brad, I hoped that would change, but he went missing.”
Will was in shock. If someone had asked him a few days ago what Oscar’s biggest worry was, he would have joked that it was taming his wonderful, unruly hair.
Now, hearing something like this, Will was hit with the realization that he didn’t know Oscar at all.
He’d seen him as carefree and charming...
Who would have guessed the guy had been through so much?
“I’m sorry,” Will whispered. He knew it wasn’t much, but he had no idea how else to react.
“I know it seems absurd, but I wasn’t lying when I said I’m unlucky,” Oscar continued, smiling bitterly through his tears. “Bad things happen to the people around me.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know. No one is to blame for being unlucky. But some people just are, and I’m one of them.”
“That’s not true,” Will protested firmly, tightening his fingers on Oscar’s trembling hand. “You’ve just been through bad things. Very bad things, but you’re not responsible for them.”
Oscar sobbed quietly, lowering his head. He needed a long moment to compose himself.
“Last year, I didn’t take you seriously,” he finally admitted, raising an uncertain gaze to Will.
“I’m sorry. I feel awful saying this, but…
you were convenient. It was fun. And easy.
And even though I knew you wanted something more, I also knew I could dodge it.
That you’re not the type of guy who would be too… pushy.”
Will felt a painful pang in his chest. He had the feeling it wasn’t about him not being pushy, but about the fact that he was completely incapable of fighting for what he wanted.
He was passive. He waited patiently, smiled forcedly, and although he had a real storm of words in his head that he wanted to say out loud, he never did. Until recently.
“But this year, something changed,” Oscar added.
“I felt like we had a connection, really. And I started to care about you. But I was too scared and I preferred to end it. I think about it all the time. I feel like I made a terrible mistake, so if…” He took a deep breath.
“If you’d like to try with me… and I’ll understand if you don’t… then I… I think I’d like to as well.”
“You think?”
Oscar smiled faintly.
“I’m sure.”
Will leaned across the table and placed a tender kiss on Oscar’s lips.
“Of course I want to try,” he whispered softly.
Oscar smiled gratefully, lacing their fingers together.
“From now on, let’s just be honest with each other, okay?” Will asked.
The moment these words left his lips, he realized he wouldn’t be able to stick to them himself.
January 13 | Monday
When he got to school, Oscar was standing alone by the main doors.
“Hey,” he said with a smile, seeing Will approach.
“Hey,” Will replied. “Waiting for something?”
“For you.”
A warmth spread through Will.
“Oh. Thanks.”
They headed toward their lockers. Oscar took Will’s hand. Will looked at him, surprised, and a smile crept onto his face.
To be honest, he hadn’t expected it to be like this.
He must have subconsciously assumed it would end like it always did—in public, Oscar would act like they were distant acquaintances, they’d text a bit, maybe meet up, until they finally got to the this probably isn’t going anywhere phase.
But it seemed their conversation yesterday had changed things.
First, they stopped at Will’s locker, talking about their upcoming classes.
“Oscar!” a guy walking past called out at one point. “Four o’clock today?”
“Works for me,” Oscar confirmed. “See you then.”
“See ya!”
Will gave Oscar a questioning look.
“Elliot and I are doing a project for Tech class.”
“Ooh. Cool.”
“So who’d you end up with?”
“Blake,” Will replied gloomily.
Which reminded him that the deadline was fast approaching, and they had done absolutely nothing.
“Wow.” Oscar laughed quietly. “I think a lot of people would love to be in your shoes. Speaking of which, what stage are you guys at?”
“Uh… We’re at the stage where I was supposed to call him to set up a meeting.”
“Oh.”
Actually, he was supposed to call and beg for a meeting, which changed things considerably.
He really didn’t feel like doing it. Besides, calling Blake didn’t bring back fond memories after everything that had happened.
And Alden had his number, too. He could have been the one to take the initiative.
“I’ll try today, if I don’t forget,” Will said anyway, figuring one of them had to be the bigger person, and it would probably fall to him.
“Hey,” Oscar said suddenly, looking at something over Will’s shoulder.
“What?”
“It’s Dan.”
Will’s heart pounded. He turned and, sure enough, saw Danny pulling textbooks from his locker just a few feet away.
Will started walking toward him. Dan looked good.
Really good. He was clean-shaven, his hair was combed, and he was even dressed differently than usual, in a pressed shirt and new jeans.
That probably meant he was doing okay, which didn’t lessen Will’s guilt at all.
“Hey, Danny,” he said softly, stopping next to him.
Dan slammed his locker door shut, and for a moment it seemed like he wasn’t going to answer, but finally, he muttered a terse, “Hey.”
“How are you? You were gone all week. I was worried something was wrong.”
Dan’s lips twisted into a sour smile.
“Charming.”
“Dan…”
“You kicked me out of the house right before the holidays,” Danny reminded him, his voice devoid of emotion as he finally decided to look at Will. “I think you lost the right to worry right then, but if you want to keep playing the concerned friend, be my guest.”
“I didn’t want to—” Will began, but Dan ignored him and started down the hall. Will fell into step beside him. “Aren’t you going to Lit class?” he asked with a frown, seeing the direction Dan was headed.
“No. I have Chemistry.”
“Since when?”
“Since now. I dropped some classes and signed up for others.”
“You can’t do that in the middle of the year.”
“I could.”
Will was about to ask how that was possible, but then he remembered KC. Only Kubrick’s influence could explain the school allowing such a thing. And persuading Dan to show up for Chemistry. But why? Will had been convinced that once he pushed Danny away, KC would lose interest in him.
“Anyway, I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Will said. “We both went too far. If you need—”
“If you want to apologize, then do it, but don’t drag me into it,” Dan cut him off sharply.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t regret a single word I said that day.”
Will was in shock. He’d assumed they had both gotten carried away and both regretted it. Maybe that was still true. Maybe Danny was just upset.
“By the way, I see being a pest paid off and you’re finally with Oscar,” Dan added maliciously.
“Danny!” Will protested in disbelief. “I know I didn’t handle things well, but I’m trying to fix it. I don’t want things to be like this between us.”
“But they will be,” Danny stated firmly.
“We’re not friends anymore, Will. Maybe we never were, and we certainly never will be.
” Will felt like he’d been stabbed in the heart.
“Get over it and stop following me around. Don’t approach me.
Don’t talk to me. Stay away from me. Understand?
” Dan asked desperately, unexpectedly grabbing Will’s forearm and looking him straight in the eye.
Will was confused. Danny seemed hurt and furious, but that last word… The way he’d said it… Like he was scared? Trying to warn him?