13. Long Walks on the Beach
CHAPTER 13
LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH
(TIFFANY)
We walk slowly along the beach, and Dec takes my hand in his. It feels warm and soft, and I feel an ache between my thighs as I think about the sex we’ve had. It occurs to me that I’ve barely thought about Ben, and a part of me feels guilty that Dec has so quickly filled the hole left in my life in less than a day.
I look at Dec as we walk together, and he’s so handsome. His chiseled features look refined in the morning light, and a cool breeze blows across us, bringing with it the sound of waves crashing against the shore.
Dec turns to look at me, and our eyes meet. He leads me over to a low stone wall that separates the beach from the grass behind the McLeans’ house, then turns to face me, still holding my hand.
“What does this mean, Tiff?” he asks, sounding surprisingly unsure of himself .
My heart begins to pound in my chest. I’m not sure how to respond. I know with everything within me that I don’t want to stop screwing him. How is this okay, though? I ended my engagement the same day we first had sex.
I sigh and frown. “I don’t know, Dec. I don’t regret any of what we’ve done, but I also feel guilty as hell because I have no regrets.”
“Is it bad that I’m glad you have no regrets? Because I have none, either.” He gives me a sexy smile.
“Probably,” I laugh. “I mean, I’m meant to be crying over my cheating fiancé, right? Not fucking one of my best friends.”
Dec lifts his hand to my face and slowly brushes my lower lip with his thumb. My heart pounds in my chest, and the desire to have sex with him again hits me with a powerful force.
“I love you, Tiffany Carter.”
An unintended gasp escapes my lips. He’s staring me in the eyes, and the heart that was previously beating a thousand miles a minute in my chest has stopped beating entirely. I can’t breathe. I can’t focus on anything except the words he just uttered to me.
“You don’t mean that,” I whisper.
Dec swallows, and I watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down in his throat. My eyes fall on his soft, full lips, and I remember how good they feel when he’s kissing me, both above the waist and below. I have a thousand thoughts and memories flash through my brain as I wait for his response, but it doesn’t come until I finally meet his gaze again.
“Yes, I do. I’ve loved you for years. If Ben hadn’t met you first, I probably would’ve asked you out years ago. By the time we met, you already loved him. I never had a chance.”
He breaks our gaze and looks out over the water before continuing.
“I told myself that we could just be friends. I made jokes about fucking you because it was less scary for me that way. We could all be friends, but I never really stopped wanting you, deep down.”
I reach my hand up and turn his face to mine. He looks into my eyes, and I realize that I’ve always known this. The jokes about sleeping with me, the nickname he uses for me. On some level, I knew he loved me, but I loved him too much to acknowledge it and possibly lose his friendship in the process.
“I love you, Dec,” I say around a lump in my throat because I don’t want to continue, but I know I have to. “I love him, too, though. I can’t just switch that off in a day. I knew when you and I slept together yesterday that I would never go back to him.”
I can see the pain cross his features when I confess that there’s still a part of me that loves Ben, but I see some relief there when he hears my final words.
“Can this be something?” he asks .
I can’t stop my lips from curving into a smile. “Yes, this can definitely be something . It’s messy and screwed up, but maybe something good can actually come out of this.”
Dec closes the space between us and kisses my smiling lips, causing the intense desire I feel for him to come crashing back over me. I wrap my arms around his neck and move closer to him.
We kiss for a long time, and we’re both breathing heavily when we stop. He puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me in to him. I feel warm and safe and loved. I get a strange feeling, as though I’m coming home. As though this is the place in the world where I’m meant to be.
I can feel the tiny shards of my heart being pieced back together, and I smile at him. I wrap my arms around his waist, feeling the hard muscles underneath his skin as I do. My head is resting against his chest, and I can hear his heart beating in my left ear while the sounds of the ocean play in my right ear.
It's bizarre heading back into the house holding Dec's hand. It feels like our walk together has cemented something between us. We left the house two friends who had fucked in a moment of strange grief, but we're returning two people who are in some sort of actual relationship. I don't think I've ever been more scared and excited about something in my life.
A part of me is still terrified that this will end badly and I'll end up losing Dec, but from what I've experienced so far, I know that it's worth giving it a shot. At the very least, I feel assured that he will never cheat on me.
For a moment, I wonder how we’re going to tell our friends and family about us, but I push away the thought. I have until tomorrow to simply enjoy being with Dec without any drama. We spend the rest of the day in bliss. We have sex again, then order in food for dinner. After we eat, we sit together on the sofa and watch a movie.
“Why does this feel so right , Dec?” I ask while chewing my lip.
He smiles at me. “Because it is so right, Sexy.”
“See? That. You’ve been calling me Sexy for years. It’s like nothing’s changed,” I shake my head in amazement.
Dec kisses me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and softly caressing my breasts with one of his hands.
He grins wickedly at me. “Nothing’s changed, huh?”
Desire for him zings through my body, and I can’t stop myself from laughing, “Okay, maybe some things have changed.”
“I don’t know what to tell you.” A serious look comes over his face. “You do know that I didn’t come to your apartment yesterday with the intention of fucking you the second you ended your engagement, don’t you? ”
I place my palm against his cheek and smile as I look into his stunning blue eyes. “I know that, Dec. I don’t feel taken advantage of in any way.”
“Whoa, I didn’t say I thought I took advantage of you. Way to put that thought in my head,” he laughs.
I lean forward and kiss him, then say suggestively, “Well, how about we go to your bedroom, and I can take advantage of you, right now?”
“Now that I’m on board with, Sexy.”