Chapter 35
Hew wanted to roar. He wanted to rage. He wanted to stomp around like a gorilla and beat his chest. But he made sure his expression was devoid of that when he lifted an eyebrow and said, “About what?”
“About what happened between us earlier.” Sabrina’s tone was the equivalent of well, duh.
He carefully slipped his hands beneath the conference table so she wouldn’t see him curl his fingers into fists. “Thought we covered that already. Mission accomplished. That’s what ya said, right?”
“That’s what you said,” she countered quickly.
He tipped his head. “You tellin’ me the mission wasn’t accomplished? You still need more of my hand-holdin’ before ya jump in the saddle with your boyfriend?”
“I—” She faltered, mouth open, eyes wide.
He pounced on the pause because he couldn’t stop himself.
“Ya sure were gone a long while,” he declared.
She sat back and crossed her arms. Her expression was cautious. Guarded. “Time got away from us,” she admitted.
It flies when you’re busy swallowin’ each other’s tongues, he thought, feeling his nostrils flare.
Aloud, he said casually, “He’s a good talker. Noticed that about him right off.”
Her jaw worked side to side like she was searching for words. Finally, she settled on, “He’s lived an exciting life. That helps to keep the conversation lively.”
“Mmm.” He nodded like he gave a fiddler’s fuck about Martin Massey’s exciting life. Then he leaned back in his chair and asked, “Did ya share the good news with him?”
Her brow furrowed. “Good news?”
“That you’ve cleared the last hurdle in your healin’ journey and you’re ready to jump back into life and all its…pleasures.” The last word came out slicker than he meant. Even he wanted to recoil from it.
What the hell was wrong with him?
But he knew. He was possessed. Possessed by that green-eyed monster. Possessed by the little boy in him who never got picked. Possessed by the need to lash out and protect himself.
“That…uh…didn’t come up.” Her throat worked over a swallow.
“No?” He cocked his head. “Funny. Given the way ya kissed him out front, I figured it was the lead story.”
Her chin jerked back. “How did you—” She glanced over the railing toward the big TV mounted next to the shop’s front door. It had switched from showing daytime’s full-color security feed to night’s black-and-white images.
“You saw that?” She turned back to him.
“Happened to be walkin’ by,” he admitted through a jaw that ached from clenching. “Kinda hard to miss.”
She leaned forward a little, her voice…what? What was her tone? “How did that make you feel? To see me kissing another man?”
It had made him want to rip the whole damned security system out of the wall before breaking Martin Massey’s perfect jaw.
“How should it have made me feel?” he asked carefully, painting a fresh coat of confusion on his face like he painted on fresh oil camo before each op.
“We’re friends, right? If Martin’s the man for you, I’m happy.
” He softened his tone. It was the only crack in his armor he would allow.
“All I’ve ever wanted is your happiness, Sabrina. ”
Her eyes were bright in a way that made him want to look away. But he forced himself to hold her gaze. Forced himself to listen and believe when she whispered, “It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, too, Hew.”
“So, we’re good, ayuh?” His heart pounded out a terrible rhythm.
Why couldn’t he just tell her he wanted her?
Why couldn't he just say he’d been waiting his whole life to feel about anyone the way he felt about her?
Why couldn't he admit he loved her?
He did love her, by the way. That fact had become crystal clear to him in the hours since she’d left. In the hours he’d spent envisioning her in Martin’s arms and then fantasizing about all the ways he could rip apart the hedge fund manager limb from limb.
He loved her, and yet...
She’d given him no indication she felt the same.
She liked him, of course. And her body certainly liked the things he’d done to it. But she’d never said a thing about having feelings for him beyond friendly affection. She’d raced to her date with Martin. And then she’d spent four hours with the sonofabitch.
It didn’t take four hours to apologize for missing their date. And it certainly didn’t take four hours to tell a guy she didn’t want to see him anymore because she was in love with someone else.
“We’re good,” she finally said, slowly standing from the table before walking purposefully across the room.
When she disappeared up the stairs, he was left alone.
As usual.