Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
SEBASTIAN
For over an hour, my time with Simon feels like something more. More than sex, more than something I paid for.
Our time together is cut short by Simon’s phone.
“Fuck.”
I stop while dropping the piece that will give me a win with four of my pieces on the diagonal. The look on Simon’s face is part fear, part anger.
“What’s wrong?” Before he even answers, I can see I won’t like what he has to say.
He shakes his head, cursing and pacing. Throwing out so many expletives that even for Simon it seems over the top. There’s a quiet rage bubbling that I’ve never seen in him. Not even when I was an intentional dick to him.
“My brother. They kicked him out.”
“I thought you said you had no family.”
He tugs his hair in frustration. “I don’t. Not really. I haven’t had contact with any of them in years. Except my little brother, who sends me messages sometimes.”
“Your parents?”
He swipes at his eye and shakes his head. “My father’s dead, and my mother wouldn’t… More likely this was the elders’ doing. Young men are less valuable than young women. Since we can’t reproduce.” His laugh has no humor. “God forbid you step out of line. Then you’re gone.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
“Yes and no.”
“How do you even know about this? I thought it was one of those places where they didn’t have contact with the outside world?”
“There’s a guy at the local feed store. After I ran away, I begged him to help me get a message to my siblings. He’s been sort of acting as a go-between ever since. The message was from him. My brother is there, and he’s in bad shape.”
There’s a selfish, irrational anger inside me.
Something was different here, today in this bubble containing only Simon and me.
Thanks to a natural disaster, I was forced to step away from work.
Thanks to his illness, Simon went from needing my help too much to push me away, to finally acting as if he felt the same stirring of something I do.
There’s nobody to blame for this situation blowing up our bubble, and I’m not enough of a bastard to force him to stay because he owes me two more days. I just…don’t want to let him leave.
If I make him stay, there will never be a chance of more. Nothing between us would ever be right. That realization makes me want to murder someone. The elder responsible for kicking Simon’s brother off the farm or the next senior citizen walking a tiny dog—I’m not picky.
A quiet snap and a sharp pain in my hand makes me realize I’ve been gripping the game piece hard enough to make it crack.
I clear my throat. “You obviously need to go. Let’s get upstairs to pack, and then I’ll take you home.”
Simon pauses from his pacing. “No. You don’t need to do that. I’ll call a car, and you can stay and enjoy this swanky place a little longer.”
“We already talked about going back today.”
“I know, but this is… I don’t want…” He looks pained, trying to finish his sentence.
That’s when it hits me. He doesn’t want me involved. His family, his past—it’s too personal. I may have paid for a boyfriend experience, but this situation requires a level of trust and commitment money can’t buy, a level I haven’t yet earned.
“We’re over an hour outside of Belle Argo, Simon. A rideshare would be expensive if you could even find someone willing to take you. I’ll drive you. We can leave as soon as I throw my clothes into a bag. The rest is up to you once we get to wherever your brother is.”
That appeases him. Unfortunately, it only leaves me feeling hollow.
Helping people is why I built my business and later why I poured so many resources into trying to stop the kidnappings that seem somehow tied to my company. Now, when I feel this thing with Simon could be more, there’s nothing I can do except act as a delivery service.
As I return to the room, my frustration leaks out. I quickly shove my clothes into my bag instead of folding them, which is my preference.
“You don’t have to take me, you know.” Simon’s expression is guarded as I throw in toiletries without returning them to their carrying case.
“Stop. Let’s just go.”
The loudest silence I’ve ever heard surrounds us on the ride back.
Damn my car’s superior insulation and the lack of road noise.
I spend most of the trip mentally kicking myself for the anger I can’t seem to shake and the way Simon is, for the first time in days, looking at me as if I’m a stranger.
Someone he has to tread carefully around. Someone he can’t trust.
Our first ride in a car together was filled with unspoken sexual tension. Now it’s filled with tension of an entirely different kind. What I wouldn’t give to turn back the clock.
This isn’t his fault.
Just tell him how you feel.
There’s so much in my head, but my jaw is clamped shut. Simon’s been set from the beginning on this being a temporary arrangement that can’t go anywhere. Maybe he’s right. There’s no negotiating when the other side is already certain of a particular outcome.
Perhaps it’s bad timing. As he keeps reminding me, I’m still married. And Simon is on the verge of a life change and possibly moving away from Belle Argo entirely.
I need to let Simon deal with his family and his job situation. Knowing that partly entails letting Simon return to being with other men ties an agonizing knot in my stomach, but it isn’t my place to make that decision for him.
Once my marriage is dissolved and Simon has done whatever his future holds… I guess we’ll see.
I rub at the dull pain in my chest, losing hope even as I try to convince myself we still have some.
“Almost there,” I tell him.
“Thanks,” he says. “For everything.”
It’s the only thing he’s said to me in an hour. The words feel very much like a goodbye.
I’m prepared to drop Simon off in a parking lot when we arrive. However, when we pull up in front of what appears to be an oversized shack with the words Grub N Grow hand-painted on a sign outside, it doesn’t take long to see the situation.
A young man with dark hair and eyes like Simon’s sits on a bench outside. He’s wearing pants with suspenders over a short-sleeved button-up shirt, but no shoes. In one hand is a battered-looking backpack. He’s dirty, and his feet appear to be bleeding.
Before I can finish parking, Simon is out of the car, wrapping his brother in a fierce hug.
I can’t just leave them here.
I’ll drive them the rest of the way back to Belle Argo. Then I’ll leave them alone.
Walking up, I realize the kid also has a split lip. My hands clench. “Did you get into a fight?”
I look around as if I might be able to somehow catch the culprit.
Simon glances up at my question, looking surprised. Almost as if he forgot I was here.
His brother brings his hand to his lip, then shakes his head slowly. “I fell. Sort of. It was dark when I left, and I had to climb over a fence. I managed not to cut myself, but then I kind of landed on my face.”
Simon’s mouth drops open. “Wait. You ran away? They didn’t tell you to leave?”
“Is that a typical thing? Kicking teenagers out?” It’s none of my business, but I’m overly invested and angry on Simon’s behalf.
“Sort of,” his brother says slowly. “Or at least, it used to be. Unless you’re a boy born into one of the upper-tier families, it used to be that when you reached adulthood, you’d be encouraged to go out into the world and ‘find yourself.’ You were also strongly discouraged from returning.”
I glance at Simon. “Is that what happened to you?”
He and his brother share another look. “Not exactly. I was caught in a compromising situation with the pastor’s son, so I ran away. Wait.” He turns back to his brother. “You said they used to kick out the teenage males. If they don’t anymore, then what happened?”
“Months ago, people started basically disappearing. Instead of being escorted to the gate and given a few dollars to get them by, they were gone in the middle of the night. You knew it happened when you saw someone’s mama crying through her chores the next day.
I overheard Caleb Morris’s mama asking the Lord why she hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye. ”
The hair on the back of my neck stands up. “How many times has this happened?”
“A few. It’s not a big community, so not a lot.
But I put it together that it was always the same type of guys.
A few weeks before their eighteenth birthday they’d suddenly be gone.
Morris, Bart, and then Caleb all vanished in the last few months.
I’m eighteen next month, so I figured it would be better to plan on leaving before it was done for me. ”
Simon pulls his brother in for another hug. “I’m so glad you’re not hurt worse. Where in God’s name are your shoes?”
“I left at night so nobody would question what I was doing. I wore slippers instead of boots so I wouldn’t make noise.
With all the rain we’ve had lately, the mud destroyed them quickly.
It’s okay, though, Isaiah. I sent you that message saying I was hoping to see you, remember? Honestly, I’m relieved.”
“Relieved?”
“Isaiah?” I ask.
Simon points at me. “If you value your life, you’ll never fucking call me that again.” He points to his brother. “You either.”
The lanky teen, who has several inches on Simon, smiles slightly and ruffles his hair. “You know how it is there. What happened after Pop… It was better for me to leave.”
Simon’s eyes widen. It’s not my place, but every word of this exchange makes me wish I could see inside his head.
“Honestly, I’m glad I was able reach you,” his brother continues. “I didn’t even know if you’d still be around.”
“I wasn’t planning to be for much longer. I’d given up on any of the rest of you guys leaving. I’ve almost got enough saved up for moving expenses. As soon as I pay off this guy I owe money to, pass my exams, and find a new job, I’m out of here.”
My head snaps around. He owes Brennan money? Is that why he’s escorting?
It’s none of your business.
I ignore the hollow sensation in my stomach and instead reach for the frayed backpack dangling from the teenager’s hand. “Let me take that for you. I’m Sebastian, by the way.”
“Oh. Sorry.” The kid sticks out his hand. “Gabe. Nice to meet you. I’ll hang on to this, though.” He gestures to the backpack. “It’s kind of all I’ve got at the moment.”
“No, it isn’t.” Simon shakes his head, jaw firm. “Whatever I’ve got is yours. You know that. Except my sex toy collection.”
Gabe gags. “Gross. I don’t want to know about that.”
“I do.”
Simon points a finger at me. “You shut your filthy mouth.”
“I didn’t even say anything filthy.” I lean down to whisper in his ear, “I’d like to later, though.”
Unfortunately, Simon puts a foot of distance between us that tells me my flirting isn’t welcome.
A throat clears behind us. I turn to find a burly man in flannel staring back. “Glad to see you made it, Simon. I’m gonna need to ask you guys to move on, though. A homeless person hanging around the store might make the customers uneasy.”
“He’s not homeless.” Simon bristles.
The man raises an eyebrow. “Sure looks it, though.”
“Right. Fine.” Simon turns to shake the big man’s hand. “Thank you for getting in touch.”
The man nods and turns to head back inside.
Simon turns to me. “Thank you for the ride. I’ve got it from here.”
“It’s not much farther into town. I can take you.”
“Like you said, it’s not much farther into town. I can order a car.” He pulls out his phone and studiously ignores me while he does so.
The night we met I saw his profile and thought he was attractive. Now, he’s devastating. The side of his face is a punch in the stomach. He owes me two more days, but I won’t humiliate myself by begging.
I’ve been dismissed. So I get in the car and go home.