Chapter 4 #2
She was making me insane. I couldn’t hold a straight thought around her. What the fuck was wrong with me?
I fiddled with my friendship bracelet on my wrist and forced my eyes up, calling after her.
“Trouble! You know what? Forget it. It’s orientation night, let’s have fun.”
We shuffled into the main dining hall, were handed our orientation packets, and endured the same stale safety drill we’d been hearing since we were kids. The big reveal this year? First-grade day campers.
“Great,” I muttered, rolling my eyes.
“This is so exciting! I love the babies,” Mackenzie beamed, her whole face lighting up.
“Yeah, we’re glorified babysitters,” I groaned.
She bumped my arm. “Come on, Max. Bugs, fishing, their cute little giggles. It’s going to be fun.” She sniggered just thinking about it, and I felt it—that dangerous pull.
God, she was beautiful.
Max, stop, I told myself. I was losing it around her. My brain was a fucking rollercoaster of hormonal thoughts.
“Fine,” I said. “But you’re on bathroom duty.”
“Okay,” she agreed too easily.
Orientation dragged on for fucking forever—until, finally, freedom. We grabbed dinner and slid into a seat at a table in the corner, eating in companionable silence.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and pretzel sticks. A classic camp staple. The familiarity of it made us smile at each other, like this place had never stopped being ours.
And then that dick arrived.
Jackson.
He set his tray down softly, as if he belonged here, right across from us.
“Hey, Mackenzie. You okay with me joining you and…” His gaze flicked to my counselor badge. “Max?” The smile he gave me was all teeth.
I already wanted to put my fist through his face.
Mackenzie was mid-bite, swallowing quickly, but before she could respond, I cut in. “Hey, dude. What’s your problem?”
His expression didn’t even twitch. That calmness made my skin crawl. “No problem. Just wanted to say hi to Mackenzie.”
I leaned back, studying the way they looked at each other. The hair on her arms stood up, and she wouldn’t quite meet his eyes. But when she did, something unspoken passed between them.
Recognition. History.
“How do you know each other?” I asked casually, tearing my sandwich in half, my arm sliding over the back of Mackenzie’s chair until my thumb hovered just above her shoulder. Close enough for him to notice.
His eyes narrowed. He didn’t like it when I touched her.
Interesting.
“Oh, how do we know each other?” Jackson scoffed. “You want to tell him, Mackenzie, or should I?”
My fist curled under the table. I forced myself to breathe, three slow counts, because I could feel the urge to hurt him like it was a living thing.
“I … uh …” Mackenzie stammered. “Jackson and I … We went to school together. We … uh …”
Her cheeks flushed. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out they had hooked up.
He smirked, and it landed like a blade between my ribs.
My jealousy ripped through me, and I couldn’t stop the image that followed. His hands were on her body, where they didn’t belong.
The thought alone made me want to tear him away from the table, put him against the wall, and see what he looked like afraid.
I blinked.
Wow. This was new. Raging psychopath wasn’t a personality trait I generally harbored. I didn’t know how to handle these feelings swirling inside me.
He finished his food. “See you later, Mackenzie,” he said, standing and walking off like he owned the room.
I pulled my arm back, folding my hands in my lap to keep from doing something stupid. I’d known her for years, talked to her almost every day, but suddenly I realized there were entire chapters of her life I’d never read.
I got up and dumped my tray without touching the rest of my food. My appetite was gone. My humor was gone. And the last thing I felt like doing was pretending otherwise.
She came up behind me, tray in hand, her presence soft but impossible to ignore.
“Hey… what’s up?” she asked quietly. There was a hitch in her voice. It was hesitant, like she already knew I wouldn’t like the answer.
“Nothing,” I muttered eventually, my eyes fixed on anything that wasn’t her. The trees, the gravel path, my shoes.
Her hand caught my arm. I looked down into those green eyes that had always been my undoing.
“Forget him, please.” Her voice was pleading, earnest.
My chest felt like it was closing in.
“Who is that guy?” The jealousy in my voice was unmistakable. I didn’t even bother to hide it. But I wanted her to tell me that he was no one, and that my suspicions were just paranoia.
“Uh…” She averted her gaze. “We used to date.”
I’d always known she had boyfriends. But hearing it now, seeing her say it, was something else entirely. The unfair part? I’d dated plenty of girls back home. Never serious. Never long. Always disposable. But this? This wasn’t disposable to her.
“How long?” The irritation leaked out before I could rein it in. “He’s a dick. I can’t believe you dated that guy.”
We stopped under the shade of a big oak outside the cabin. I hooked my arm around a low branch, holding her gaze. She wouldn’t hold mine back. She was looking everywhere but at me.
“Not very long,” she said, voice clipped. “We dated for eight months.”
Eight months?!
“Not very long? Jesus, Trouble. That’s a long fucking time,” I muttered, kicking at a loose rock.
Eight months. While I was at home, cutting things off before they got serious. I was always circling back to her. Meanwhile, she’d been in something real. Something I hadn’t even known about.
Maybe we didn’t tell each other everything after all. Perhaps I didn’t know her as well as I thought I did.
“Why’s he here then? You still seeing him?”
“No,” she said quickly, glancing over her shoulder like the guy might appear. “I don’t know why he’s here. Honestly, I’m just… surprised.” Her voice was softer now, restrained at the edges.
I didn’t need to push anymore. I’d gotten my answer, but I hated it.
“Hey,” I softly said this time, threading my fingers through hers and tugging her into me. She let me pull her close, and I leaned down a bit, so her chin fit into the crook of my neck like it always had. “Let’s drop it.”
She nodded. The scent of her hair, faintly citrus, pulled me straight back to when we were sixteen.
“Trouble, you’re my best friend,” I had told her, after seeing the drawings she left out. Shadows stood behind her in every single drawing. I knew something was wrong then, that she was hiding something she hadn’t told me.
“You’re mine, too,” she had said, smiling like she meant it.
“Don’t ever forget that,” I had whispered.
What I really meant was: I know you’re scared. But I won’t let anyone hurt you.
Back at the cabin, she sat cross-legged on the bed, frowning at her new iPhone.
“You want me to set that up for you?” I asked, holding out a hand.
“I think I’ve got it. It’s simple, right?”
Five minutes later, she was sighing, muttering about iCloud and face recognition. “This is too much. I just want to text my mom.”
I laughed. “Give it here. I can help you. You know I’m great with tech.”
“Yeah, I know. Too good,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Fine.”
She didn’t know how good I actually was. I’d reset locked accounts, recovered fried hard drives, and even bypassed password encryption. Systems made sense to me. People didn’t.
She handed me her phone and then said, “Here you go—secret agent.”
Immediate turn-on.
I almost grabbed her, but my fists curled at my sides. I bit back a response. I’d behave, for now.
A few quick taps, and it was done. I added my number to her contacts as
MAX
and sent her a text.
Hey
Her head snapped up. “Oh, come on. You really think I’m letting you put a heart next to your name?”
“I mean, I just rescued you from the hell of setup screens,” I said, fishing my swimsuit from the dresser. “Plus, the way you’ve been eye-fucking me all day, it seemed fitting.”
Her eyes went wide.
Yeah, maybe I’d pushed too far, but the truth was, it wasn’t entirely a joke. Her eyes had been eating me up, and I really fucking dug it.
“It’s just an emoji, Trouble. Keep up, chill,” I added, trying to lighten the mood.
“Whatever. I’m changing it as soon as I figure out how.” She disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.
From the front of the cabin came the muffled sounds of arriving counselors. The first-day lake visit was tonight, just like every summer.
When she emerged, she was wearing a white swimsuit cover-up, a towel in one hand, and a flashlight in the other. “You ready?”
“Hell yeah, just need to change. Grab my towel from my bag, pretty please?” I held up my hands in a praying motion and stuck out my bottom lip.
“Yeah,” she said softly, giving me the fucking cutest smile ever, and turning her back to me. She grabbed the towel and threw it at me.
I caught it one-handed and gave her one last glance as she turned towards the window.
She pulled her cover-up off and threw it onto the floor, rubbing sunscreen onto her bare stomach.
I averted my gaze at first, but then, unable to resist, I let my eyes drift back her way. Her right leg was now up on the bedpost, and she was leaning over so far that she left little to the imagination.
Uh, she knew I could see her, right?
Her dark green bikini barely covered her fucking ass.
My eyes traced the curve of her waist, the rise of her hips, the long line of her legs. Her hair tumbled down her back in a lazy wave, and fuck me, heat was burning through my entire body.
She was perfect.
She looked back over her shoulder at me and gave me a soft smile.
Was she fucking with me?
It was like my pulse couldn’t decide whether to race or stop entirely.
Every nerve in my body lit up, every cell wired to her.
Looking away would’ve been the decent thing to do.
But decency didn’t stand a chance with the way I felt right now.
For whatever reason, Camp Blackshear made the best of us a little bit mad.
The obsession I had for her always returned as soon as I stepped through the camp gates. An obsession I had kept bottled up for seven summers.
She was a slow-burning fever I’d never recover from. The kind that seeped into your bones and rotted you from the inside out.
I didn’t just want her. I wanted to be the one she looked back for. The one she chose without realizing she’d already decided.
The one she chose outside of Camp Blackshear.
And maybe that was sick. Perhaps it was wrong.
But I had never felt like this about anyone. The feelings surprised me. I had been so good at suppressing them over the years. But now? I was losing it, and I didn’t trust myself.
I rushed into the bathroom, pressing my back to the bathroom door, and forcing a deep breath into my lungs. We’d been friends forever, but now I couldn’t stop imagining her naked. I wanted her in that tiny bunk bed, under me, tangled in sheets.
My desire for her was so strong that it was a little overwhelming.
You’re a gentleman, Max. She’s your best friend. Please don’t do it. Don’t fuck this up.
But the thoughts of her in that swimsuit overpowered me, and Max, her best friend, was a goner.