Chapter 8 #2
He bent, scooping the sheets from the floor, and tucking them back around me with a tenderness that made my chest ache. He hesitated, chewing on his lower lip, before climbing into the narrow bunk with me. The mattress dipped under his weight, and I nearly fell off.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, my voice shaking with relief.
He slid closer, his body radiating warmth and comfort as he cocooned me next to him.
“That was one hell of a nightmare,” he murmured. “I’m sleeping with you.”
His heartbeat drummed steadily against my back, soothing the terror still rattling in my bones.
“It’s okay, Max. I think I’m fine now.”
But he didn’t move.
“Well, I’m comfy,” he said after a beat. “So, you’re shit out of luck if you think I’m going back up to my bunk.”
I huffed. “What about everyone else?” I nodded towards the front of the cabin. I couldn’t see anything out there. The darkness closed in through the open doorway, and the panic crawled up my throat.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he said simply. “No one can see us back here.”
He shifted, finally letting his hand rest on my waist. His other arm wrapped fully around me. The contact was grounding. I inhaled his scent, a mix of lake water, smoke, and that sweetness that was just him.
It instantly comforted me. It was as if it had been made just for me. I was discreetly trying to catch a whiff of him when his voice broke through the silence.
“You were screaming my name,” he whispered. I stilled, and he felt it. His hand tightened on my hip.
“I was?”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice breaking a little. “You said my name a lot. You sounded… terrified.”
“I don’t know why I did that,” I lied, forcing a laugh. “But thanks for waking me up.”
He stayed quiet, holding me, his front to my back.
“You know you can tell me anything,” he said softly.
I knew that. But he didn’t need the weight of this. I was terrified that if I opened up my mouth, I would spill my secret.
His voice was so raw, deep, and full of longing for the truth. It tore me apart that I couldn’t confide in him.
“Max?” I whispered.
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For always knowing when I need you.”
A whisper of warmth touched the back of my neck as his lips grazed my scar. My entire body stiffened.
“I didn’t mean to…” he started, pulling back, but I caught his hand and held it tight, turning towards him.
He looked embarrassed. His blue eyes were shadowed by his anxiety, worried that I might pull away from him.
“It’s okay.”
I could hear his heartbeat pulsing inside his chest with nerves, and I slowly turned so we were face-to-face. I was careful not to knock us off the narrow mattress. I put my hand on his cheek, my thumb tracing his jaw.
“Truly. It’s okay.”
Something shifted in his eyes as my fingers dragged down his face. I leaned forward, intending to brush the corner of his mouth, but he angled just enough to claim my lips instead. The shock that rolled through me made him gasp, and I tried to give him a soft, sweet kiss back.
But he conquered me. His right hand went up to the back of my head, while his left hand pulled me in closer to him. His tongue slid against mine as his teeth tugged my bottom lip.
It was dominant, the way he kissed me. He wanted to be in control.
A needy sound escaped me before I could stop it, and the answering groan in his throat nearly unraveled me.
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” I whispered against his mouth. “We’re supposed to be pretending.”
“Yeah… “ he moaned, sucking on my bottom lip like his life depended on it. “You want me to stop?”
“No.” My voice was breathy, uncontrolled.
Heat surged between us, my body aching with the memory of what I’d done while he slept. I so badly wanted this, and if he tried, I don’t think I would say no.
I unconsciously began rocking my hips against his, and his hands became wilder as they moved over my body.
“Fuck, Mackenzie,” he groaned, kissing me harder. “Don’t do that.”
I was about to wrap my leg around his waist and climb on top of him. But he pulled back, his eyes big, his mouth open, his lips glistening from my tongue.
“I… want to keep going, but I know if I do, I won’t be able to stop.” He smirked faintly. He was so proud of himself.
“Okay…” I whispered, trying to distance myself from him because if I felt his body on mine any longer, I might actually explode. But Max had other plans. He hauled me against him, chest to chest, holding me like I was his lifeline.
Our eyes locked.
I was wet, wanting, and disappointed. He was hard, wanting, and disappointed.
We could hear each other’s thoughts. We both wanted it, but we were going to hold back. It didn’t feel wrong, what we had just done, but he was right. I don’t think either one of us would stop if we let it continue. This was all pretend.
Right?
We stayed like that, breaths mingling, our mouths swollen and close enough to tempt another kiss, locked in a stare that left everything in silence.
I’m yours, I wanted to say.
And I heard him say back in his head, I’m yours, too.
And somehow, impossibly, despite the intense yearning, we drifted to sleep tangled together. For the first time in ages, I found myself without dreams.