Chapter 29 #2
The moment I saw it, I could almost smell it again—cigarette smoke, metal, and that bitter incense my father burned until it choked the house.
“I drew you a picture, Kenz,” my father had said once, his voice soft. “This is our emblem. The star is our legacy. Keep it close.” He’d press the paper into my little hands so hard the edges bit into my palms.
I clamped my hand over my mouth because the panic threatened to spill out loud. How did Max have this? What was this?
I yanked on shorts, turning off the shower faucet.
I was barely a few feet out when the cabin door creaked open, and Max stepped out barefoot, tugging a white t-shirt over his head.
His hair was wild, his eyes half-closed, until he saw me.
I must’ve looked devastated because he was next to me in one heartbeat.
“What’s wrong? Why did you run out so fast? You woke me up,” he said, rough, his voice still layered with sleep.
My knees threatened to buckle just by looking at him. He knew something. He was part of something.
His hands were soft and steady as he cupped mine.
“Are you okay? Trouble, talk to me.”
I nodded too quickly. “Yeah… I…” I started hyperventilating.
“No, actually, I’m not okay. I’m not okay, Max,” I cried, the words ripping out of me.
He didn’t hesitate. His arms closed around me, crushing me to his chest. He glanced over my head, scanning the trees, his jaw set. Then, in a low, clipped tone, he said, “Come on.”
I followed him deep into the woods. He didn’t stop until we were swallowed by shadows, far from the others. The air felt wrong here. It was too still, like the trees were holding their breath to listen. Every rustle of leaves sounded sharp, close, like something was circling just beyond the trunks.
I looked into his eyes, his perfectly blue eyes, which were full of genuine concern for me. He had no idea I knew. What was this initiation? What was he hiding from me? The betrayal was so intense that it roared through my bones, and I almost felt like I might vomit.
“Hey, hey,” he said, running his hands down my arms. “You’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“I’m scaring you?” I seethed.
His brows twitched in confusion. He spread his legs wide to be nose to nose with me, his hands stopping me from my panicked pacing.
The cold metal of his wedding band scraped my wrist as he grabbed me, and for a heartbeat, it didn’t feel like a promise. It felt like a shackle, a piece of him welded to my skin.
What would he do if I cut it off?
“I saw it. I saw everything. I read it,” I said coldly. The look of confusion returned to his face, and he licked his lips.
"Saw what?”
“The text message on your phone. The initiation. There was a picture. How… how do you have that picture? That’s my dad’s—that’s my family crest.”
There was something in his eyes then, something heavy and shadowed, a secret crouching behind the blue.
“What do you know?” My voice came out brittle. He broke eye contact, staring at the ground like it might open and swallow him.
“'Nothing.”
It was a lie. A blatant, soul-deep lie.
“Max.” I stepped closer, heat rising in my throat. “Tell me. The fuck. Now. What do you know?”
He dropped his gaze to the ground again. “It’s… nothing.”
He scrubbed his hands over his face. For a second, I thought he was going to say it. His mouth opened, and his throat worked as if the words were crawling out. My heart hammered as I waited for the truth.
But then he shut his eyes, shook his head, and said, “I can’t.”
The word tasted like my childhood. Doors locked from the outside. Voices behind them. My father’s hands are on my shoulders, squeezing too tightly. The blood. So much blood.
My heart broke into a million pieces. “You can’t, or you won’t?” My voice cracked, anger mixing with fear.
“Mackenzie…”
“Don’t you dare lie to me. Not you.”
His throat bobbed, like the truth was trying to escape. His mouth even opened, but then he closed it again. A wall of tension fell between us.
“Don’t do this.” His voice was quiet. “Not now.”
He scanned the woods around us, as if searching for something.
“What do you mean?” I pushed him hard, right in the chest. “Are you saying I should pretend I don’t know you’re hiding something from me? You think keeping secrets is the same as protecting me? You think being in the dark makes me safer?”
His fingers tightened just a little too much around my wrists, enough for the bones to throb. Part of me knew he’d never hurt me. Another part knew he didn’t have to. His size was its own kind of threat.
“You just don’t get it. I can’t tell you. If I do, it all falls apart. I made a promise to keep you safe, and this is how I’m doing it.”
“You’re not keeping me safe!” My voice cracked. “You’re supposed to be the one person I can trust, and you won’t even look me in the eye and tell me the truth.”
For a moment, I caught a glimpse of it, the confession struggling to get out. His jaw clenched, his chest rose and fell. But then he kept silent.
“I’m coming with you, Max. You’re not going alone. I won’t let you!” I yelled.
He paused before speaking in a hushed tone.
“If I’ve been initiated, I have to go. I have no choice. But you can’t come with me. This is my initiation. It’s too dangerous.”
“Who are you talking to? Who’s messaging you? What the hell is going on?”
Tears spilled from my eyes.
“I can’t tell you, Mackenzie. I’m so sorry, but I wish I could. There is some real scary shit happening. And there are people out to get you, and I have to keep you in the dark. I have to. I’m so sorry.”
He was begging me to trust him, but how could I trust someone who was keeping such a huge secret from me?
“Why are you even involved? Huh?”
“I… I’m your husband.”
“That doesn’t mean shit. You’re not the FBI. What are you doing?”
His mouth closed, and I saw the hardness in his eyes settle. He was shutting me out, so I couldn’t read him.
I pulled myself away from his arms, tears clouding my vision.
“Fine. Keep your secrets. And when they get me killed, you can put your ring on someone else and pretend she was yours all along.”