Chapter 23 Bechora
The flames from Caulder’s fire caused shadows to flicker across the ground in a way that reminded me of the monsters I’d feared as a small child.
Shaking my head to clear away the thought, I focused on holding the shield I’d summoned, while I reached within myself to call fire to my open hand.
Sparks ignited in my palm just as the shield snapped like a rubber band, the force strong enough to knock me on my ass.
“This is impossible,” I grumbled, rising to my feet and dusting the dirt and leaves from my backside.
Caulder closed the distance between us, pushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “You’re distracted.”
“I’m not,” I said, even as the words rang hollow.
“Bechora.” His hands moved to rub my arms gently. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on so we can deal with it, and you can focus.”
I studied him for a moment, trying to mesh this softer version of him with the grouchy male that I’d dealt with all last term.
Part of me hesitated to tell him what was bothering me.
That small part wanted to believe he couldn’t possibly care that two more of my mates had kept the bond from me, or that they’d had a sudden change of heart when I called them out.
But Shadrie and Geordie’s words were louder than that small piece of me.
Urging me to give into these bonds, and I was starting to realize just how exhausting it was fighting them.
“Vallynn Evarian and Dante Vazgurr are my mates.” I was almost shocked at the relief that washed over me with the words.
“I see.”
“I–We don’t have to talk about it if it’s weird for you.”
“It’s not. If this is something you feel comfortable trusting me with, I am happy to listen,” he replied, motioning for me to sit on the ground.
I sighed, easing myself down before he moved to sit behind me. I didn’t have a chance to ask what he was doing before his warm hands were on my shoulders, thumbs digging into the tense muscles. The heat and pressure caused me to groan.
“God, that feels amazing,” I sighed. “My own personal hot stone massage.”
Caulder chuckled. “One of the many benefits of being mated to a dragon. Now, tell me what’s bothering you about Vallynn and Dante being your mates.”
The words came easier than I’d thought possible, as I told him how they’d not only hidden our bond, but basically given me whiplash with the way they went back and forth in their behavior toward me.
Caulder listened without interrupting, his hands working magic on my aching muscles.
I could have sworn the heat from his palms even grew warmer on a few particularly stubborn knots.
By the time I’d told him everything, my body was a puddle of loose relaxation, and I’d shifted so that my back was leaning against his chest with his arms wrapped loosely around my waist.
“If I may,” he started when I was done. “As someone who kept the bond hidden, it would be remiss of me not to suggest you give them a chance to make amends. Their treatment of you isn’t acceptable, but they likely have their reasons for keeping the secret, as I did.”
I huffed softly, letting my head fall back against his shoulder. “I know,” I admitted, though the words came out reluctantly. “Logically, I know that, but it doesn’t mean I have to be okay with it right now. Or that I have to pretend like nothing happened and just accept them immediately.”
“You don’t,” Caulder agreed. “Acceptance and forgiveness aren’t the same thing.”
“I will deal with it… eventually,” I muttered.
“It’s not like I have much choice in the matter with a prophecy hanging over my head.
I’m just not ready to lean into it. Not yet.
I’m barely keeping my head above water as it is.
I’m not ready to add two more people who don’t seem to know what they want from one day to the next. ”
“That’s valid.”
“I’m not sure why I expected you to push back on it,” I snorted. “I guess I’m still coming around to this version of you instead of the bossy grump I dealt with last term.”
Caulder barked out a laugh, his arms tightening around my waist. “Also valid. Though, I think anyone would be a grump, as you put it, if they waited as long as I did to find their mate, only to have to deny the bond because of Academy rules.”
I smiled despite myself. “Those rules don’t seem to be too much of a concern now.”
His hold on me loosened just slightly, not enough to pull away, but enough I felt the shift in his body at my back.
“They still are,” he said quietly. “I’m just choosing to put you first, the way I should have from the beginning.”
I tilted my head to look at him, searching his face for any hint of doubt or hesitation, but found neither.
“That sounds dangerously close to admitting you were wrong,” I said lightly, as the weight of his words settled deeper than I wanted to acknowledge.
“Careful, I have a reputation to maintain,” he replied, arching a brow.
I huffed out a laugh, quietly shaking my head before letting it rest against his shoulder again. “God forbid anyone find out the terrifying Professor Thrackborne is capable of being reasonable.”
“Let’s not get carried away,” he murmured with a soft chuckle. “The lengths I’d go to for your happiness and wellbeing are anything but reasonable.”
His words sent heat through my body. It curled low in my stomach and spread outward, catching me off guard in a way that had my breath stuttering.
The urge to complete our bond came roaring to life, mingling with the heat building in my body and causing me to ache.
His arms tightened just slightly around my waist, not possessive or demanding, just…
aware. Which somehow made it worse. It would have been so much easier if he’d pushed.
If he’d taken the step for me instead of leaving me to sit with the weight of my options myself.
“Bechora–”
“Tell me what you were like when you were younger,” I interrupted, hoping the abrupt change of subject would take my mind off the growing desire to claim my mate.
There was a pause behind me, not long, but long enough that I knew he recognized exactly what I was doing.
“What do you know about dragon shifters?” he asked finally.
I thought back to the classes I’d had last term and all the reading I’d done before the term officially started to try and find my bearings a strange, new place. There’d been so much to cover, and Professor Sabelus wasn’t exactly aiming for any “Professor of the Year” awards.
“Not much,” I admitted.
“I see. I suppose the first thing you need to know is that a dragon clan is made up of family members. The oldest male is generally considered the head of the clan, but there’s no true hierarchy.
Generally speaking, when a male comes of age, he will go out to find his mate and bring her back to the clan where they’re raised with all the other children. ”
I shifted slightly, turning just enough to look at him more fully. “So… not exactly a nuclear family situation.”
A faint hint of amusement touched his lips.
“Not even close.” His gaze drifted past me for a moment as if he were seeing something else entirely.
“All of us were aware of who our parents were, but they weren’t solely responsible for raising us.
Every adult in the clan had a hand in it.
Aunts, uncles, older cousins… if you were there, you were responsible. ”
“I’m not sure if that sounds more like chaos or something that would’ve been nice to have growing up.”
“A little of both,” he chuckled. “Dragon children have… strong tempers. When you mix in natural childhood curiosity and every adult keeping an eye out, there are quite a few fiery tantrums for not being able to get away with things.”
I let out a mock gasp. “I can’t believe my ears. Are you telling me you were a little terror growing up?”
His chest rumbled with laughter before he took on his usual “professor” tone. “Absolutely not, Ms. Knight. My behavior was exemplary.”
“Liar,” I snorted.
“My clan would have loved you,” he said softly, the words tinged with sadness and longing. “The way you refuse to back down from anything is fitting of even the fiercest dragons.”
“I’m… sorry,” I said, the words coming softer than I intended. “For what happened to them.”
The soft rise and fall of his chest paused at my back for half a second before he blew out a weighted breath.
“That’s not a conversation for today,” he said finally.
“Okay,” I replied, letting myself settle against his chest again.
We sat like that for a while longer, neither of us really speaking, until the heat from his body caused my eyelids to grow heavy. I felt my head loll to the side as I started to doze off and jerked upright.
“We should probably head back,” Caulder said quietly. “I doubt you’d enjoy sleeping in the open like this. Especially not when waking up in this forest most likely comes with a side of rowdy wolf shifter.”
I shook my head with a soft laugh and allowed him to help me to my feet, before falling into step beside him to make our way back to the main campus. We drew to a stop the moment Magus House came into view.
“We should part ways here.” There was a reluctance in Caulder’s tone that made my chest ache. “Better that I’m not seen escorting you the entire way and having people raise questions.”
“Right,” I replied, pausing to look at him. “Thank you… for tonight. Not pushing me to train and just talking with me instead.”
“Of course.”
I lingered for another heartbeat, finding it nearly impossible to make myself turn away from him.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said finally, forcing myself to step toward Magus House with Herculean effort. Every centimeter of distance between us suddenly felt wrong.
“Tomorrow,” he replied, the strain on his face as he turned in the other direction, a reflection of my own.
I didn’t look back as I closed the distance to Magus House and slipped inside because I knew if I did, I’d claim my mate, consequences be damned.