Chapter 36
BELLA
The Pit – Northvale University
My hands are shaking like a leaf in a thunderstorm.
“Sweetheart,” he says, voice low and soft but unrelenting. “Just tell us.”
No…no… no fucking no.
I can’t do this.
Not here. Not now. Not when Lex is standing two feet away. Not when I just met him. Not when I’m still high off the feeling of his lap under mine and his hand clenched in mine when I raised it in victory.
This isn’t fucking happening. My heartbeat is so loud I can barely hear anything else. My lungs feel like they’ve turned to concrete.
Maybe I should faint. It works in the movies, right? Just full-on Disney princess it. A little sway, an eyelid flutter, and a dramatic collapse into Cade’s arms. Although, Lex would probably catch me first. Shit, maybe that’s not the worst idea I’ve ever had.
If I tell them, everything changes. If I don’t, I could lose them both. Fuck, and I haven’t even had one of them yet.
Focus, Bella. Just think. What would Zeke do?
Well, bitch. Zeke would’ve never gotten himself tangled up in a situationship with an artsy version of a damn Esquire model and a Russian fighter who makes your brain short-circuit every time he looks at you with his damn icy eyes.
Zeke would’ve stayed focused. He would’ve stuck to the mission. He would’ve ghosted before feelings could complicate the plan.
Damn it, Bella.
No, fuck that shit. Not damn it, Bella. Damn it, Dr. Monroe and his “You need real intimacy. Real connection. Real trust.” crap.
Tell that to the part of me currently debating whether to lie, cry, or pretend to pass the fuck out in front of the two most beautiful men I’ve ever seen in my life.
This is such bullshit. This is exactly why I don’t do therapy. Or relationships. Or Russian fighters with tattoos on their fucking soul.
“Cade, please…”
His hands tighten around mine. Gentle. Solid. “Sweetheart, it’s okay.”
I swallow the knot in my throat. Then sigh. They obviously are not going to let this go.
“Okay. Fine.” I glance at Lex, then back to Cade. “We should probably sit down,” I mutter. “This is a pretty long story.”
We sit side by side. My hands still feel shaky, but they’re wrapped in Cade’s and Lex is close enough I can feel his warmth like armor.
“Okay,” I start. “So, you know that I was an orphan. Lived in Arkansas. Bad foster home. Brother got me out. Died. And now I’m here.”
They both nod.
“All of that is true,” I admit. “But there’s a lot more.”
I breathe out. “When I was little, I wasn’t in a bad home, I was in a good one. My dad was an ex-Razorback quarterback and a firefighter. My mom was a teacher, but also used to dance. I got my love of dance from her. I was loved.”
My southern accent slips out, soft and unguarded. “Really loved. Until my mama died of cancer and then my life blew up.”
Lex leans in, voice a low rumble. “What happened, baby?”
I swallow, the memories catching like glass in my throat.
“Apparently there was some kind of issue with my paperwork, I really don’t know.
Something with the records. CPS showed up out of nowhere and took me away.
I still have nightmares about that day… being dragged out of my Daddy’s arms. My aunt screaming. Begging them not to take me away.”
I pause, breath shaking. “They didn’t care. They put me in a new home in Miami.”
I look down at my hands in Cade’s. “On the outside, it looked perfect. Ocean view. White pillars. Beautiful garden. Smiling couple. Everything clean and quiet like a damn brochure.”
I feel Lex tense next to me. Cade’s thumb stills against my skin.
“But it was all a lie.” I look up, throat tight. “Carlos was a monster. He took in kids knowin’ his fancy, sick pedo friends would pay good money for a few minutes with us. Or better yet, just buy us straight out like we were nothing but property.”
Lex explodes, “What the fuck?”
Cade grabs my leg, like his body’s on autopilot and wired to shield me before his brain even catches up. There’s panic in his touch, urgency in the way his fingers dig in, like if he holds me tight enough, nothing can touch me. Nothing can take me.
“It’s okay,” I whisper, holding up a hand as they both look ready to burn the world down. “No one touched me. They never got the chance.”
I blink, hard. “I was protected by my foster brother. Zeke.”
Lex’s voice is quiet, almost reverent. “The Z on your shoulder?”
I nod. “He intercepted every deal meant to buy me or our little brother Dylan. Hacked systems, rerouted payments, faked medical emergencies. Took every punishment when Carlos found out.”
My fingers trace the name on my wrist. Lex’s eyes follow the motion.
“When Dylan died,” my throat clamps around the words, but I force them out. “Everything changed.” The tears come. Hot and sharp. I try to bite them back, swallow the grief like I’ve done a hundred times before, but it doesn’t work.
“Dylan…”
My voice cracks. I swallow. Try again. “Fuck. Um… Dylan was nine.”
I can feel Cade’s grip tighten around my leg. Lex goes still beside me, but I don’t dare look at either of them yet. I just stare straight ahead at the ring.
“Zeke and I were in my room when we heard him scream. We tore down the hall and…uh…” I run my hand on the back of my neck. “One of Carlos’s sleazy friends was standing behind him.”
I feel my chest cave in like a sinkhole. “Zeke lost it.”
The memory flashes—Zeke’s roar, the way his fists didn’t stop even when Vince dropped.
“I grabbed Dylan and ran. Took him back to my room and told him to stay put. Then I went back for Zeke.”
My voice shakes harder now. “He’d nearly killed Vince by the time we heard the shot.”
I pause. A tear slips down my cheek, and I can’t catch it in time. My left leg starts to tremble. I press my palm against my thigh, but it won’t stop. Lex leans forward and covers my hand with his.
I whisper, “Dylan shot himself.”
“Why didn’t CPS do anything?” Lex asked.
“Because the system’s rigged. Kids are a cash business. All it takes is a fake ID, a fake death, or enough money and nobody looks.”
Cade’s voice is barely above a whisper. “Oh, sweetheart, why didn’t you ever tell me?”
I squeeze his hand, then let go. “Because that’s not the whole story. See Vince had purchased Dylan. The incident, as Carlos so lovingly put it, caused Carlos to lose a lot of money and piss off a very wealthy client and friend.”
Lex and Cade both go still. I take a breath that feels like sandpaper. “A few months later, Vince came back as a fucking District Attorney. Apparently, Carlos made a huge donation and they were besties again.”
Lex’s jaw clenches. Cade shifts like he’s ready to stand.
“Carlos sold me to Vince at a discounted rate. It was Zeke’s eighteenth birthday. He was going to age out and get kicked out of the house.” I shake my head, voice splintering. “He heard them talking. What they were planning to do to me.”
I meet their eyes. “He went insane. Full blackout rage.”
Cade’s breath catches. Lex’s stare is lethal as he cracks his knuckles.
“It was a bloodbath,” I whisper. “Mariela came in before Zeke could finish the job. She grabbed her keys and told us to run.” I pause.
“We did. We took her car, grabbed what we could, and left. We faked our deaths and then we disappeared. Changed our last names and came here.”
Lex’s brow pulls together. “So, you just, moved to New York? How, you were just kids?”
I glance down at my shaking hands, then back up. “I’m not done,” I say softly.