Chapter 42
BELLA
Rosethorne Mansion – Wexley University
I sit on the edge of my bed, the silk comforter bunched under my fists, and stare out the window.
LEX: So, don’t be upset or freak out. I just wanted to give you a heads up in case you run into him. Cade moved back to Wexley.
I reread it three times. But the words didn’t change. Cade left because of me.
That was a week ago and I still feel horrible. Like the blackness in my life is spreading, infecting everything and everyone I touch.
Lex and I have been talking and hanging out a little since the night he hijacked my mission. He puts on this whole big, tough Russian gun runner act for the world to see, but it’s mostly just that. An act.
Kinda.
I mean, yeah the guy can still kick ass, take names, and look fucking hot while doing it. But underneath it all, he’s a damn teddy bear.
ME: Lex… I’m so sorry. I ruined everything for you.
The dots appear. Stop. Appear again.
LEX: Baby, you didn’t ruin anything. Cade just needs time and space. That’s all. He’ll be fine.
LEX: You should have seen him when I told him my mom and uncle ran guns. We didn’t speak for a month.
ME: A month?! Lex, you realize that running guns is nothing compared to what I told him? This may never actually work.
LEX: It will. Plus… while he cools down it gives you and me some time to get to know each other.
More dots.
LEX: Like really get to know each other… if you catch my drift.
This man I swear.
ME: We are not going there.
LEX: Why not?
I don’t respond. Not right away. I just stare at my screen, a thousand thoughts clawing their way through my brain.
The door swings open. “Leaving me on read, baby? Rude.”
I jerk my head toward the door. “Lex, how the fuck did you get in here?”
He strolls into my room like he’s lived here for years, all slow swagger and smug grin. Black jeans. Black V-neck that hugs his tatted arms way too well. Dark hair a little messy.
God help me.
He shrugs. “Please, baby. Like a bunch of little Legacy chicks were gonna keep me from you.”
“This is Rosethorne. You can’t just walk in here like—”
“Like I own the place?” he cuts in, closing the door behind him and shrugs. “Looks like I fucking can.”
“You’re insane.”
“Not denying it.”
He starts walking toward me, slow and casual, like he’s got all the time in the world to ruin me.
“Lex,” I warn, sitting back on my elbows. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
He reaches the bed. Leans down. One hand braced beside my hip, the other brushing hair from my face.
“You okay, baby?”
“No. Not really.”
He nods, gentle for once. His grin returns, slow and cocky. “Come on. Get dressed.”
“Excuse me?”
“We’re going on a ride.”
“Lex—”
“No arguing. You’ve been sulking in here all day like a damn ghost. You need out. Fresh air. Fast engine. My hands on your thighs.”
I don’t move, just stare at him. He narrows his eyes, not playing. “Get the fuck up, baby. I will throw your little ass over my shoulder and take you out of this mansion kicking and screaming if I have to.”
I stare at him for a long beat. Then sigh. “God, you’re annoying.”
“And yet,” he tilts his head, lips quirking like he knows he’s right, “you’re already getting up.”
???
I wrap my arms around his waist as the engine roars beneath us. The city blurs by—lights, noise, wind in my hair, Lex’s body heat pressed into mine. We ride across the bridge, down through Queens, until the streets start to quiet.
And then I see it, the skyline, wide open water. Lex parks the bike under one of those old gantry cranes and kills the engine. He hops off and holds out his hand.
“Trust me.”
I take it. He leads me to the edge of a pier. No one’s around. Just city lights reflected on the water.
“This is my favorite spot,” he says after a long beat.
“Why?”
He shrugs. “Because even when everything’s fucked up, this still looks perfect.”
We sit at the edge of the water, legs dangling off the concrete ledge. The skyline stretches out across the water like a dream, all gold, silver, and sharp steel edges lit by the night.
Lex is quiet for a while. Just watching. “My dad used to bring me here when I was a kid.”
I glance over at him, surprised. “Yeah?”
He nods. “This was our spot. We’d grab pizza from a place down the block and sit right here.”
He points toward the Empire State Building in the distance. “He’d make me name every building I could see. Then he’d quiz me on the architects. Who built what. Why it mattered.”
There’s something soft in his voice now. Something I wasn’t expecting.
“He said you can tell who someone is by how they build.”
I don’t say anything. Just watch him. Lex leans back on his hands, eyes scanning the skyline like it’s a blueprint only he can read.
“That one’s my favorite,” he says, pointing to a sleek, mirrored tower near the Chrysler. “It’s a total nightmare structurally, narrow as hell, glass everywhere, not even close to practical. But it still stands. Still looks like a fucking dream.”
I smile. “Let me guess. You like the ones that shouldn’t exist.”
He grins. “Yeah. I like the ones that break the rules and don’t fall.” His gaze drifts back to me. “Just like you.”
Before I can say anything, his phone vibrates in his pocket. He doesn’t look away from me, but his phone doesn’t stop.
Buzz. Buzz.
He sighs, finally pulls it out and glances at the screen.
CADE
He flips it over face-down without answering.
“Lex,” I say softly. “You should answer it.”
He shakes his head once. “Not right now.”
“But—”
“No.” His voice is sharper this time. Firmer. “He wanted space to think about everything. So, I’m giving him his fucking space.”
Lex’s jaw tenses, his gaze locked out over the water like it’s the only thing keeping him from falling apart. “I told him I wasn’t giving up on the three of us,” he says. “I wasn’t giving up on you.”
My heart starts pounding. Hard. Unsteady.
“Lex,” I whisper.
“I had him meet you first,” he says, voice low, almost like it hurts to admit. “Because I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I didn’t want to fall too fast for someone that wouldn’t…” he clears his throat, “that couldn’t…”
He stops. Runs a hand through his hair.
“But now that I’m around you?” He leans in closer. “I’m not letting you go, baby. Not now. Not ever.”
I stare at him, heart still pounding.
“You said,” I start, voice barely above a whisper, “you didn’t want to fall for someone that wouldn’t and couldn’t.”
He blinks, like he didn’t realize he said it out loud. “Huh?”
I hold his gaze. “You said you didn’t want to fall for someone that wouldn’t and couldn’t… what were you going to say?”
Lex looks away for a second, jaw flexing. Then back at me.
“Someone that wouldn’t run away when I held on too tight, because when I fall, I fall hard,” he says. “Someone that couldn’t only see me as a darkness, but who could handle the darkness in me. Calm it. Tame it.”
I don’t move.
“I love Cade,” he says, quiet but fierce. “I’ve loved him since before I even knew what the fuck love really was. But it was hard at first. It all scared the shit out of him. Especially when he found out what my family does.”
He swallows hard.
“But you?” He leans in closer, hand sliding to my jaw, thumb brushing my cheek. “Me and you, baby… this isn’t hard.”
His lips hover above mine, voice barely a breath. “I have a darkness, Bella. And so do you. I saw it.”
A pause.
“And baby, I fucking love it. I don’t want you to hide it from me. And if it ever gets too much, I want you to come to me so I can pull you the fuck out of it. Because I’m pretty sure you are the only one that could ever fully pull me out of mine.”
He brushes his thumb over my lips, gaze locked on mine, those icy-blue eyes piercing into my soul.
“And I swear to God, Bella, I’m not letting you go.”
My heart stops.
So, I do the only thing I can. I lean in and kiss him. And this time, he doesn’t kiss me like he’s trying to own me.
He doesn’t kiss me like he’s starving.
He kisses me like he’s home.
Like maybe this is what he’s been waiting for all along.
I pull back, just for a second. “Lex, I need to show you something,” I say hands shaking slightly as I hand him my phone.