Chapter 83 #2
I snort. “Mine played the violin.”
Cal claps. “The violin! That’s right! You dated the one who brought a Stradivarius to that party.”
“His name was Preston,” I add. “He told me I had a vintage soul.”
Cade nearly chokes on his drink. “Babe, he literally cried when you ghosted him.”
“Please, he cried when I asked for still water.”
Lex leans forward, finally speaking. “Wait, how long did this… violinist era last?”
I glance at him at him, eyes glittering. “About two months. I ended things when he tried to quote Hemingway during a massage.”
Savannah laughs, wine glass tilted. “I vaguely remember that one. Didn’t he send you monogrammed love letters?”
I nod. “Scented. With a wax seal.”
Clay mutters, “Christ.”
Cal grins across the table, apparently wanting to keep the chaos going strong. “Remember St. Barts?”
“Oh my God, iconic.” I raise my glass toward him.
“Oh my God, illegal,” Cade adds, already laughing.
Ellie’s wheezing before he even finishes. “Oh my God, the jet skis.”
“The ones you two stole,” Cade says, jabbing his fork in mine and Cal’s direction.
“We borrowed them,” I say sweetly. “For a sunrise joyride.”
“You crashed into a wedding,” Cade deadpans.
“It was a small wedding,” Cal says, shrugging.
“A destination wedding,” Ellie snorts. “You soaked the little ring bearer.”
“He forgave me,” I wave a hand. “I think.”
Roman raises an eyebrow, watching me with dry amusement. “You stole jet skis?”
“Allegedly.” I flash him a grin. “We were never charged.”
Lex huffs across the table. He hasn’t touched his steak in minutes.
Clay leans back with a sigh. “All I remember is getting a call from resort security saying my son and Bella were racing jet skis through a wedding ceremony.”
“You stormed down the beach in linen pants and no shoes,” Savannah laughs. “Yelling something about diplomatic immunity.”
“I was trying to save the brand,” Clay says, dry as ever. Then he looks at me. “You looked me dead in the eye and asked if dessert was worth an international scandal.”
“It was,” I say without missing a beat.
Ellie gasps. “You still had seaweed in your braid when we got back to the cabana.”
“And you made me promise not to tell your brother,” Cal adds.
Cade rolls his eyes. “You two gave the hotel staff a panic attack.”
“We returned the jet skis,” I argue.
“They were beached,” Cade fires back. “With coral damage.”
“We left a note,” Cal says, like that makes it any better.
“A note that said, ‘our bad, love you, mean it,’” Cade mutters.
Daniel chuckles quietly from his end of the table. “Sounds like a very thorough legal defense.”
Roman’s mouth twitches. “Did you at least win the race?”
“I did,” I say smugly.
“She cheated,” Cal says.
Savannah shakes her head and takes a sip of wine. “No one else would’ve dared pull that stunt and still gotten dessert.”
“You mean the coconut tart?” I ask. “I’d commit crimes for that tart.”
“You did commit crimes for that tart,” Cade says flatly.
“That’s love,” I say, tipping my glass to him.
Everyone’s laughing again—Cal’s head tilted back, Ellie wiping her eyes, Savannah glowing with amusement, and Clay shaking his head like he still can’t believe he funded the whole vacation.
Roman lifts his glass toward me in a mock toast. “Well. That explains the reports.”
Across from me, Lex hasn’t said a word. But I can feel him watching. And I already know what’s coming.
I text him under the table.
ME: Bathroom. Now. Don’t make me drag you, baby.
Three seconds later, his chair scrapes back. I wait a beat before slipping away, careful not to draw attention.
By the time I push into the bathroom down the hall, he’s already there—arms crossed, jaw tight, pacing like a caged animal.
I shut the door softly behind me and lean against it. “Okay, spill it, Barinov. What’s wrong.”
He doesn’t look at me. “Nothing.”
I scoff. “Nope. Try again. I know you too well to buy that bullshit. You’ve had that storm cloud face since the appetizer course.”
Silence.
I step closer. “You look like you did that week I banned sex until Cade got back from that gallery show in L.A.”
“That wasn’t a sex ban. That was psychological warfare, baby. You wore those little shorts knowing damn well I was one wrong move away from taking you on the floor at The Pit.”
“Exactly,” I say, folding my arms. “So, talk to me. What’s going on?”
Lex leans back against the bathroom counter and crosses his arms. “I just really hate this part of the night,” he mutters.
“What part?”
His gaze drops to the floor. “The whole ‘remember when’ bullshit. It always happens when we have dinner with Cade’s family.” He drags a hand through his hair. “The Whitmore stories. The vacations. The fucking shared history.”
Lex lets out a low breath, eyes flicking up to mine. “Cade fits into your world like he was made for it. I’m the outsider,” he says quietly. “Just the guy who showed up late to the damn party.”
My chest tightens. “Lex…”
“I know what we have is real,” he says, voice rough. “But it still fucks with me, baby. Every time one of you says ‘remember when,’ it’s like I’m being reminded that there’s a version of you and Cade I never got to meet. A life I’ll never touch. I can’t compete with that.”
I step between his legs, take his hand. “Hey, you don’t have to compete.”
He lets out a bitter breath. “Feels like I do.”
“Fine,” I say, lifting my chin. “You want a remember when? I’ll give you one.”
I step even closer, fingertips trailing up his chest. “Do you remember when I saw you for the first time, because I do.”
Lex’s brow furrows. “Fight night?”
I laugh softly. “No, dumbass. It was at Ellie’s eighteenth birthday. You and Cade showed up way late. You were in a leather jacket, brooding like the storm you are. I remember thinking you looked like trouble.”
His mouth tugs at the side, “I was trouble.”
“Not arguing about that. But I was so jealous of Cade for the way you looked at him. You were dangerous. Hot. Clearly into him. And all I could think about was how you’d never even glance at me.”
Lex tilts his head. “Didn’t know you noticed me back then.”
“I did,” I say, honest and steady. “Even when I shouldn’t have.”
His eyes soften. “Guess I was blind.”
I smile. “At least you see me now.”
Lex’s jaw flexes, and I know he’s trying to keep it together, so I keep going. “Remember our first date?”
“You mean when I hijacked your mission with Mortal Kombat and turned it into a flirt-off with bullets?”
I roll my eyes. “No. Our real first date. A couple nights after. You picked me up outside Rosethorne like we were about to rob a bank.”
“Because we kind of were,” he grins. “That reservation wasn’t even mine, Mrs. Voronina-Belyakov.”
“You were blasting Russian rap in that sleek black McLaren like you were auditioning for Fast & Furious: Bratva Drift.”
“Baby, you wore that red leather jacket,” he says, eyes dancing. “Looked like sex bottled up. What did you expect?”
“And you took me to that rooftop in Tribeca. The one with the string lights, the private chef, and a violinist playing Toxic on a loop.”
Lex snorts. “An underrated classic.”
I huff out a laugh. “We didn’t talk about missions. Or Cade. It was just you and me. Champagne and bad decisions.”
He grows quiet. Eyes locked on mine.
“And then…” I say softly, “remember a week or so later when I was spiraling and convinced Cade was never coming back to us? You didn’t try to fix it. You just put me on your bike and drove us to Cooper’s Beach at two in the morning.”
“Because you breathe better by the water.”
I nod. “And you always give me the ocean, Lex. You know me better than you think, baby and we haven’t had nearly as much time as Cade and I.”
I rest my head on his shoulder, then glance up with a teasing smile. “Remember that night in Central Park?”
Lex groans. “When you threatened to kill me if your heels got ruined?”
“They were Giuseppe Zanotti.”
“You were wearing white in the rain, malyshka. You really think I wasn’t gonna make a move?”
“You spun me like a lunatic under that streetlamp.”
“You laughed,” he shrugs.
“You kissed me like the world was ending.”
He leans in. “It was raining. You were soaked. I have no regrets, malyshka.”
I grin. “It was perfect. Just you, me, and the rain.”
Lex exhales slowly, the tension bleeding out of him.
“I remember the first time I knew I loved you,” I say.
His brows lift. “Was it at he pier?”
“No. That’s when I started to fall for you, yeah sure. But the night I knew for sure, was in Boston at The Liberty Hotel.”
Lex stiffens slightly. He remembers.
“We’d just rescued those kids. That hell house in Roxbury,” I say, voice low. “You, me, the guys, and O’Malley. We got them out. Every last one of them.”
“O’Malley’s fucking insane.”
I smile faintly. “He still saved your ass.”
Lex huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah, well. Only after nearly blowing the damn house up with all of us still inside.”
“Either way, he still saved your ass. Afterward, I shut down. Shut myself in the hotel bathroom. I couldn’t breathe.
Couldn’t move. I didn’t want to be strong.
Not for you. Not for anyone. I just wanted the world to stop spinning for a minute.
Just long enough for me to remember who I was without the mission. ”
Lex pulls me into his chest like he needs to feel my heartbeat against his own chest.
“You didn’t knock,” I whisper, voice catching on the memory. “You just came in. Sat beside me. Said nothing. Matched every breath like it was the only way to keep me tethered to the world.”
Lex doesn’t speak, but his eyes are locked on mine like he’s back there too.
“You didn’t try to fix me. Didn’t ask what was wrong. You just… stayed. In the dark. In the silence. You made it safe for me to fall apart.”
My fingers trail up his chest, slow and reverent.
“That night, was the first time I knew. Really knew. That I loved you.”
His jaw tightens.
“Because you didn’t save me like a hero. You held me like a man who’d already made room in his soul for all of my wreckage.”