Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
brI
I wake up with a stiff neck, dried tears on my face, and the kind of puffy eyes that say “you made bad choices last night.” Brooke’s blanket is twisted around my legs and my hair looks like a wild animal built a nest in it.
I blink at the ceiling fan for a long second, trying to remember where I am.
Then it hits. Blade. His voice going sharp enough to cut me open.
Brooke appears with a mug of coffee that smells like salvation and hands it over without a word. She drops down beside me, barefoot, messy bun, the look of someone who has seen me at every version of rock bottom.
I wrap both hands around the mug. “I should’ve just stayed home last night.”
Brooke snorts. “Yeah. Well. If every woman listened the first time a man barked orders, the world would’ve ended years ago.”
Despite myself, a tiny laugh slips out. It hurts. Everything hurts.
She watches me for a moment, her eyes softer than her voice. “Tell me.”
I stare at the steam curling up from the coffee. “He was terrified. I saw it. But instead of being relieved I was okay, he went straight for humiliation. Told me I was acting like a child. That he’s too old for my bullshit.”
Brooke’s expression goes flat. Deadly flat. “He said that to your face?”
“He sure did. In front of all the guys.”
She mutters something under her breath that sounds like a threat and a prayer combined.
I scrub a hand over my face. “I get why he’s angry. What happened was serious. But he acted like I was the problem. Like the danger exists because I breathe.”
Brooke shifts closer. “This life is complicated, Bri. You know that.”
Before I can respond, the front door opens and Bella walks in holding Baby Jax, his fat cheeks squished against her shoulder.
His hair sticks up like he fought a pillow and lost. He sees me and reaches out, all smiles and drool like the world isn’t ending.
I take the little squish and hold him close.
Bella sits on the coffee table right in front of me. “Rev called Switch and told him what happened. I thought he was going to drive to Perdition and beat the shit out of Blade.”
“You should have let him,” I murmur.
Bella sighs. “Look. Blade is older. He’s used to controlling shit. Violence. Chaos. Fear. That’s his world.”
Brooke nods. “Men like him don’t get scared and say ‘hey, please stay safe.’ They get scared and yell. They try to force order where there isn’t any.”
I swallow hard. “I don’t want to be locked away just because he’s afraid. I’m not some fragile thing he found on the sidewalk.”
“No, you’re not,” Brooke says. “But he doesn’t know how to love someone without expecting the world to take her from him.”
Bella leans forward, elbows on her knees. “So you two are gonna have to figure out how to do this together. Not over each other. Not around each other. Together. Or you call it before it gets worse.”
My chest tightens. “What if he decides I’m not worth the risk?”
Brooke laughs once. “Then he’s a dumbass and we’ll bury him in the backyard. Problem solved.”
Jax babbles like he agrees, probably plotting where the tiny shovel will go. Bella squeezes my knee. “But you know he won’t. He’s got it so bad he forgot how to talk like a human.”
I lean back into the couch cushions, exhaustion weighing me down again. “I don’t know if I’m ready to hear whatever excuse he tries to feed me.”
I shower. I brush my teeth. I put on clean clothes. None of it helps. My brain is still a hamster on a wheel about last night.
Brooke makes more coffee and breakfast, and I call Mason while she’s scrambling eggs. He picks up on the second ring.
“Hey,” I say when he answers. “Just letting you know I’m working from Brooke’s today. I’ll finish inventory and the order forms.”
There’s a pause. A long one. “You alright?” Mason asks. His tone is all biker boss, zero judgment, and that almost makes it worse.
“Yep,” I lie like a pro. “Totally fine. Business as usual.”
He doesn’t call me on it. Maybe he’s letting me save face. Maybe he’s too busy handling the whole freaking criminal underworld invading our town. Either way, he just says, “You’re good. Take what you need. Rev’s outside if you need anything.”
I hang up and stare at the phone like maybe he forgot the part where Blade should be calling me to say he was an asshole and he knows it.
Nothing from him. Not one damn thing. I set the phone down. Then I immediately pick it back up. Check again. Still nothing. My stomach twists.
Brooke drops a plate of eggs in front of me. “Eat.”
My phone buzzes and my heart leaps hard and I lunge for it.
It’s Ansley.
Ansley: You alive?
Ansley: Blink twice for yes.
I huff out something that isn’t exactly a laugh but isn’t crying either and text back.
Me: Still At Brooke’s.
She replies fast.
Ansley: Did Blade fix his shit yet or do you want me to beat him with his own helmet?
The visual alone helps the tiniest bit. I drop the phone on the table but my eyes keep dragging back to it.
I hate how pathetic I feel right now. Like a teenage girl waiting for some boy to text back.
Except the boy is a grown man who could kill someone with a spoon and did, in fact, scream in my face last night.
Great taste in men, Bri. Truly thriving.
The silence from him feels like a verdict I haven’t been given the charges for. Are we even still together? Is he even thinking about me? Or is he at Perdition drowning himself and letting groupies crawl into his lap for comfort while I sit here feeling like I got hit by a truck?
Brooke sits across from me, watching me like she’s waiting for the meltdown. “You’re spiraling,” she says.
“I’m not spiraling,” I lie. Then, “Okay, maybe a little.”
“More like skydiving without a parachute.”
I drop my head into my hands. “I hate this. Not knowing anything. Not knowing what he’s thinking. If he’s thinking about me at all.”
Brooke sips her coffee. Calm. Like she’s seen this show before. “You’re hurting. That’s normal. What he said was shitty. That’s also clear. But Blade doesn’t replace people. He obsesses. He shuts down. He goes full caveman. Not ‘party with random chick’ mode.”
“I don’t know that,” I mutter. “He’s lived a whole life without me. I could just be fun to him. A distraction. And now the distraction caused problems so he’s cutting his losses.”
Brooke snorts. “You are not a distraction. If anything, you’re the only thing he doesn’t manage to shove under a rug or into a closet.”
I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“I do. And it’s bullshit.”
She grabs her own phone, taps around, then holds it out to me.
It’s a photo from last week during game night.
Blade is looking at me like… like he forgot how to breathe.
Like I’m some miracle instead of a pain in his ass.
“Look at that,” she says. “That is not a man ready to replace you with anybody.”
The tightness in my chest gets worse before it gets better. I swallow hard. “He should’ve texted by now.”
She gives me a pointed look. “He should do a lot of things he doesn’t know how to do yet.”
I stare at my plate. Appetite dead. “Do you think… we’re broken up?” I ask quietly.
Brooke shakes her head once. “No. I think he’s scared shitless and responding like a dumbass.”
I let out a shaky breath. “He needs to call me.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “But that doesn’t mean you sit here waiting around for him. He’ll come when he’s ready. In the meantime, you live. You breathe. You don’t let his fear dictate your entire day.”
I nod even though I am not convinced. When my phone buzzes again I snatch it up shamelessly.
Ansley: Seriously. Helmet or tire iron
I smile because she is chaos and loyal and exactly my brand of disaster.
Me: Still no Blade.
It hurts more than I want to admit.
Brooke nudges my plate toward me again. “Eat. Freak out later. We’ll do it together.”
So I take a small bite. It doesn’t help. But it’s something.