Chapter 18
Burnt amber. Rain on stone. Smoke in the distance.
The scent of him was everywhere. I breathed him in deeply, letting him fill my lungs as the distant sounds of Solmire drifted up from far below the citadel—low chatter, the roll of wheels over cobbles, the faint call of merchants.
Solmire.
A sharp whistle cut through the air, shrill and jarring, and my eyes snapped open. The illusion shattered.
It wasn’t Solmire. It had never been Solmire. It could never be Solmire again.
Aedric.
My hands gripped the sheets as I pushed myself upright. The scent of him clung stubbornly to me—but it wasn’t coming from his body beside mine. It came from the shirt hanging loose around my shoulders.
His shirt.
I remembered pulling it on, my hands shaking, before I stumbled into bed and collapsed, the grief dragging me under before I could think. I’d cried myself to sleep; my face was stiff with dried tears, my eyes swollen.
The night before came crashing back in a sudden rush, every moment as vivid as if it were happening again. My heart ached. How could it still beat after what I’d done?
I drew my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around them, as though I could physically hold the pieces of myself together.
I couldn’t break—wouldn’t break—not here, not now.
I buried my face in the fabric and inhaled, dragging the scent of him into my lungs again and again, letting the lingering traces of him steady me.
The floor was cool beneath my feet as I crossed to the window. I drew back the curtain and pushed it open.
For the first time since I'd arrived, Noctharis was alive.
People bustled through the distant streets.
Along the docks, fishing boats rocked gently at their moorings while larger vessels carved slow paths across the water beyond, returning with the morning's catch.
Merchants lined the quay, arranging their wares and calling to those passing by.
I watched them go about their lives now that the Lord of Flame was gone. Aedric’s presence had driven them into hiding, into silence born of fear. I’d seen the same in Thistra. But now they ventured cautiously back into the streets, like birds returning to the sky after a hawk had passed.
Unexpected anger flared in me at the sight.
These people—who’d endured Rìan, who’d lived beneath his rule and known his cruelty firsthand—how could they fear someone like Aedric, who’d liberated the continent?
How could they be so ungrateful for everything he’d done, everything he’d sacrificed, treating him as the enemy instead of the savior he was?
I pulled the collar of his shirt back over my nose.
I could do this. I could face Rìan. I could help him unravel Levinica's vision, piece by piece, until the bond was broken.
And when it was, I would escape. I would find my way back to Aedric. When the moment came, I would run and never look back. Whatever the cost.
I prayed Hamish had made it safely back to the mainland.
I peeled the shirt over my head slowly, clutching the fabric one last time before laying it aside.
Fighting another swell of despair, I crossed into the bathing room and filled the tub.
The steam rose in soft curls as I lowered myself into the water, letting it close over me.
Dried blood and tears dissolved beneath my hands as I scrubbed at my skin harder than necessary.
It was only when I reached for the ewer to rinse that the bargain mark reappeared. This time it encircled my wrist in a thick, unbroken band, sickeningly reminiscent of a shackle. The sight of it turned my stomach. I climbed from the bath at once, unable to bear looking at it a moment longer.
The dress I chose was simple and gray, its long sleeves falling to my wrists to conceal the ink beneath them.
Faint metallic threads woven through the bodice caught the light as I moved.
When I glanced at my reflection, my eyes stood out starkly against the muted fabric—blue-green and vivid despite the dark circles beneath them.
Dressed and ready for whatever awaited me in Rìan's Court, I settled into the armchair by the window and waited.
Time passed in a slow, uncertain stretch, the light shifting gradually as the sun climbed higher, but no one came. At last, I crossed the room and opened the door.
The corridor beyond lay empty, not a single guard or attendant in sight. I stepped into the hallway, awareness crawling over my skin—the unmistakable feeling of being watched. Warily, I eyed the shadows that pooled thickly in the corners and beneath the high arches.
I passed a handful of servants in the halls, the wide corridors still too empty, the silence settling over them again the moment their footsteps faded.
There was no sign that the Dark Prince had returned to his Court.
I expected whispers, hushed glances, some undercurrent of fear or unease—but there was nothing. No one spoke his name.
In fact, no one spoke at all.
It made no sense.
I found myself in the same dining hall I’d eaten in with Hamish the day before.
The servants were steadier than they’d been then, though still cautious around me, their movements careful, their eyes avoiding mine.
I ate my soup alone, with no sign of Veylan or Rìan or even Levinica.
It was as though I’d been forgotten entirely.
The servant girl brought me wine when I asked for it and filled my glass without hesitation. I tipped it back immediately. To steady my hands, I told myself.
The second glass went quickly. Then the third. Before long, the bottle was empty.
The sun began its slow descent, stretching across the hall in long, golden bands, and still I sat alone. Hours of waiting had worn me thin. My nerves felt rubbed raw, my ribcage too tight for a full breath.
Eventually, the cracks in my chest widened again, and I let them.
Tears slid down my face, silent and steady, as I stared out at the Virellan Sea beyond the windows, its darkening waves as empty as Aedric's eyes.
The servants watched from a distance, wary and uncertain; none came near, none offered a word of comfort. I didn’t want them to.
I set down my wine glass and pushed myself to my feet, the room tilting slightly beneath me. I steadied myself on the edge of the table and ordered another bottle of wine sent to my room before turning away and making my way back through the halls.
Some unseen pull guided my steps long before I understood where they were leading. I didn't realize where I was going until the massive enchanted doors of the library rose before me.
Something wrenched in my chest, stealing my breath.My lip curled instinctively as recognition struck.
Rìan.
I could feel him through the doors, his presence pulling at me, a low, constant tension that made me grit my teeth. I hated it. I hated him. I stood there for a moment, swaying faintly, the wine still clouding my head as loathing burned through me.
Awareness stirred at the end of the bond.
He knew I was there.
I waited—for the door to open, for him to step out, for something violent and terrible to happen to me. Part of me almost welcomed it. But nothing came.
The doors stayed firmly closed, the silvery magic gliding across its surface.
If I could have torn the bond out of myself, I would have. Burned it out. Cut it free. Anything to be rid of it. But there was nothing I could do. Nothing but wait for him to summon me—and when he did, help him unravel Levinica's mysterious words.
Three gates sealed…
A riddle. It was a riddle.
The impossibility of it bore down on me all at once.
I pushed away from the door, despair lancing through me all over again.
I had no idea how to interpret the mystery of Levinica's vision, how to break the bond, or how to free Aedric's mind from whatever magic held it captive.
Worse—I couldn't even remember the words Levinica had spoken..
How was I supposed to solve a riddle I couldn't even recall?
And even if I could... I knew next to nothing about this world. I'd never even seen a proper map. How was I supposed to find these gates?
I staggered back to my room, all the resolution I’d clung to—the courage, the drive—bleeding out of me with every step. How stupid I was. How utterly, painfully… human.
You know nothing of Elantis. Aedric's words, from what felt like a lifetime ago, drifted back to me as though carried on the wind from the ashes of Solmire.
All I knew how to do was fail. I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to feel anything anymore.
Thankfully, the next bottle was already waiting for me, uncorked and ready to numb what little was left.
Another day passed in much the same way.
To keep from unraveling entirely, I tried to summon what little resolve remained. Some thread of defiance. My magic was limitless—that was what Aedric had insisted, over and over.
What if there was another way? What if my magic could somehow break the bond on its own—an alternative to Levinica’s vision?
I sat on the edge of the bed and reached inward, searching for it.
Nothing. It didn’t stir. It didn’t shift. It didn’t so much as whisper from the void where it lived inside me.
It was as though it had gone to sleep. Or perhaps it had turned its back on me, angry for what I’d done, for the harm I’d caused its mate. I spent hours trying to coax it back, trying to drag it up from wherever it had sunk, but it refused to answer.
Frustration rose hot inside me. I pressed the heels of my hands hard against my eyes until they hurt, swallowing against the sudden, terrible urge to scream.
What use was limitless power if I couldn’t reach it when it mattered? What good was I, if I couldn’t even save him?
Gritting my teeth so hard I thought my jaw might crack, tears stinging my eyes, I finally gave up. And went in search of another bottle of wine.
When that bottle ran low, I found another. And when silence settled too heavily around me, I drank enough not to hear it quite so loudly.