Chapter Twelve
Sera
Telling Blade about my past yesterday has given me a sense of peace I didn’t even know could exist. The weight I’ve always felt, pushing down on my shoulders, is gone. Who knew telling someone something so painful and traumatic could cause this sort of reaction? But even knowing this, I wouldn’t have ever wanted to tell anyone else first. Blade understands me. He understands my pain. He just gets it. There was no pity from him, which is something I don’t want. There was just understanding and compassion.
Having someone to talk to who doesn’t pity you but understands is a godsend and one I’m never going to take for granted. This new level of friendship with Blade means a lot to me. I’ve never really had friends before him. I never wanted to risk anyone else getting caught in my mother’s web. Now that I’m free, I know I have a chance to make friends, but I already know nobody is ever going to mean as much to me as Blade. He’s always going to be someone who means the world to me. He’s my person, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.
He’s changed my life in more ways than one. I’m determined to see if there could be more between us. The connection we share is strong, despite not knowing each other for long. I know our link is only going to grow the more time we spend around each other. Also, I know he’s just as attracted to me as I am to him. Even if he does hide it well, he still slips up sometimes, and I can see the want in his gaze. I’ve got a feeling that we could have something on the same level as Wrath and Flame if we wanted. But does he want that? I imagine he’s not all that willing to take a chance on a relationship again after fucking Jasmine. I swear to God, if her actions fuck up my chance with Blade, I’ll make her life a living hell.
My phone buzzes in my hand; it”s a text from Wrath letting me know it”s Cam”s birthday in a couple of days, and they are throwing him a party at The Clubhouse, as he”s never had one before. Great, couldn”t he have told me yesterday when I went shopping? I could have brought him a present while I was out.
Maybe it”s a blessing, though, and I can give him a gift that”s more personal. Actually, yeah, that”s a great plan. This way, I don”t have to ask anyone what to get him, and I know no one else would have gotten him the same thing.
With that thought in mind, I look through my things for my sketch pad and pencils. I was lucky when I ran; they were inside my car. I’d used them earlier in the day when I was out. Fuck, I’d hate to not have a chance to draw; it’s like my therapy. It keeps me sane.
For Cam’s birthday, I”m going to draw him a picture of himself with Flame and Wrath, but with a twist. He can have it framed, and it will hopefully always remind him of this time in his life when everything changed for the better. I want to give him something special, just like him.
Grabbing my stuff I leave the house to find somewhere quiet to start my sketch. I want some fresh air; it”s such a nice sunny day out. I manage to find the perfect spot just a few minutes walk from the house. It”s got great natural light and a tree stump I can rest my back against while I draw. I think this just might become my spot from now on; it”s perfect and peaceful.
As is normally the case when I start drawing, I get lost in my art. I become singularly focused on my work when I’m inspired by what I’m drawing, and I’m certainly inspired when it comes to this. I want it to be perfect. This may be for Cam, but I’m pretty sure Wrath and Flame are going to love it too.
When I finally look up, Shadow is standing in front of me, smirking. Holy shit! When did he get here? I nearly jump out of my skin in surprise at his sudden appearance.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask my brother while trying to calm my heart rate.
“Long enough to know, you get lost in your own world while drawing. Are you going to show your big brother what you”ve been doing?”
”Nope, it”s a surprise; you”re just going to have to wait.”
”Oh, come on, not even a peak for your favorite brother?” He whines at me. He sounds absolutely ridiculous. I can”t help but burst out laughing.
“Who said you were my favorite? I don”t know either of you well enough to have a favorite yet.”
Shadow fucking pouts. Pouts! A man like him really shouldn”t be pouting. He looks ridiculous. So much so that I”m laughing so hard that I”m crying. I should really have expected something this comical from him. The time I’ve spent around my family has made it clear that Shadow is the more lighthearted and silly one out of him and Wrath. I’m not sure if that’s always the case with him or if it”s what he does to protect himself. I’m sure I’ll figure it out the more time I spend with him.
“Fine, keep your secrets for now, but at some point I want to see what you can do.”
“Sure, you”ll see when I give this to its recipient.”
He nods his head, okay.
“What are you doing here anyway, Shadow?”
”Oh, I was looking for you, actually. I was wondering if you”d spoken to Blade today.”
”No, I haven”t. Why?” I don’t voice it, but I’m worried. I know yesterday was hard on me, so it would have been hard on Blade too. I hope he’s okay.
“I was worried about him after yesterday, and I can”t seem to find him to check on him. I”ve searched everywhere I can think of. I was just wondering if he mentioned anything to you yesterday that could help me find him. I”m sort of out of ideas otherwise.”
“Well, have you tried Inferno”s?” I ask, remembering what Blade told me yesterday before we went inside The Clubhouse.
“Why would we check Inferno”s? It”s not open yet, so he won”t be there.”
“Erm, because he told me instead of staying here at The Clubhouse he”s been sleeping in the office at Inferno”s. So my guess would be that if you can”t find him here and you’ve checked everywhere else, he”s probably there.” I say while worrying my lip between my teeth. I don”t want to get Blade in trouble, but it”s obvious Shadow is worried about him.
”Fuck, are you serious? Of course you”re serious; you have no reason to lie. I”m going to strangle him for not saying anything to anyone. I don”t think any of us realized he wasn”t coming home! Fuck, we”re all such bad friends.”
He”s really beating himself up about this, and I feel terrible. I can tell by Shadow’s reaction how much he cares about Blade, but I’m pretty sure Blade kept his mouth shut because he cares about everyone else.
“Shadow stop. He probably didn”t tell any of you because you”ve had so much going on. Think about it: all this started with Jasmine while you were all still dealing with Claire. Just go to the nightclub and talk to him. I”m sure I”m right, and if you ask him, Blade will be honest. He”s your friend; he probably just wanted to protect you all from more drama.” I tell him in a nonsense tone.
“Yeah, you”re right.” He replies, but he sounds so dejected. “I”ll go talk to him and hopefully get some answers. He”s one of my closest friends; I hate that he didn”t come to me.”
“Go. Talk to him. I”ll see you later.”
“See you later, sis. Thank you.”
He leans down and kisses my cheek before he takes off in a run. I can”t help but smile. The whole conversation we”ve just had has told me so much about my brother, and I don”t think he realizes it. He”s a big, lovable, caring goof. I couldn”t be happier to call him my brother. I”m certainly lucky my family turned out to be this amazing. They’re everything I dreamed of having growing up.
I turn my attention back to my sketch, wanting to get it finished so I don”t have to worry about it. I’ll call Blade later and check on him. That’s if I don’t see him before then. I need to make sure he’s okay, especially knowing he’s going to be having something of a heart-to-heart with my brother. Whether he wants to or not. Shadow is going to make him talk. That much was obvious.