Chapter 37
BLADE
She’s as insane as I am if she thinks she’s fucking leaving me .
Well, she did leave physically for the time being—Asher told me she ran out of the front door like she was running from a serial killer. And I guess, in a way, she was. But, she’s not leaving literally .
Does she really think she has a choice to leave? My blades of obsession cut deep, deeper than the core of the fucking earth, yet she thinks she can just walk away? She must doubt my obsession for her. I thought I made it clear these past few months that she’s mine forever—stuck with me, attached to my side by an invisible string—but she’ll see soon enough.
Not to worry. She’ll be back, willingly or unwillingly.
That’s what I keep telling myself, so why the hell am I pacing back and forth in my room, clenching my fists as panic rocks me to my core?
The depth of the situation hits me, right in the gut, stabbing into me and taking a piece of my soul with it.
She left.
She.
Fucking.
Left.
I pace faster.
I fucked up. I got too comfortable. I was going to tell her eventually, but I didn’t want her to see me differently.
Amelia is the type of girl who wants to be swept off her feet by a morally just Prince Charming. But I’m not that guy. I’m more like the guy who’d cut off her foot while she’s sleeping, so the shoe wouldn’t fit for the real Prince Charming and I could keep her all to myself.
The mirror in front of me reflects a man I hate. A man who made her leave. My fingers graze the cold glass, it feels familiar, yet foreign, like I’m staring back at a stranger.
I sigh and sit on the edge of my bed, my chest tightening. The room feels too small now, too suffocating. It feels like a coffin waiting to be lowered underground, waiting for impending doom.
My thoughts spiral, crashing into each other like waves in a storm. I can’t think straight, can’t focus on anything other than this overwhelming sense of loss. It creates a black hole that’s tearing through my heart with every beat.
It hurts in my chest.
Worse than the day it did when I was seven and finally realized my mother was never coming back.
Please make the hurt stop.
Please.
I pull out my knife. The one thing other than Amelia that makes me feel anything. I press it to my neck and make a surface cut, nothing too deep. Just enough to feel it. I deserve to feel it. A few drops of blood make their way onto my black slacks. And I cut again in another body part. And again. Over and over.
I clutch at the sheets, fingers digging harshly into the fabric trying to anchor myself to reality. But reality is slipping away, replaced by a swirling vortex that blurs the line between love and complete, insane, desperate obsession.
I feel like I can’t breathe without her. And I won’t. Not for long anyway, because I’m going to get her back even if it kills both of us in the process.
The knife digs a little deeper into my thigh, and I grunt. But it helps. It clears my mind a little. Makes me feel a little better.
Think. Think. I have to think of a plan.
I know her like the back of my hand, so it shouldn’t be too hard. But I have to stay calm, keep my head straight. I can’t freak out like the last time I lost her. At least this time, she’s not in any imminent danger, trapped with a man hellbent on revenge. So I can focus. Somewhat.
The plan I come up with is far-fetched, and she may not even believe it, but damn if I don’t try. When I dial Asher’s number—seems like I always call him when I’m in a bind—I hear a faint moan before he says hello.
“You guys can’t stop for one phone call, really?”
“Hey, fuck face!” Frankie yells in the background. “Next time I see you, I’m kicking you in the balls for whatever you did to Amelia.”
“Frankie!” Asher scolds, followed by the sound of two quick, resounding smacks that echo over the line.
“Asher, I don’t have time for this. Come to my fucking room so I can talk to you privately.”
Asher sighs. “Go over in the corner and stay there until I get back, I mean it.” A few moments later, the creak of a door sounds before he hangs up.
“What’s up?” he asks, closing my room door behind him.
“I need you to get into her phone system and block all outgoing and incoming calls except for me, John, and her mother. Oh, and Frankie. Rhett too, just in case. But that’s it. Especially make sure her father’s won’t be able to get through.”
“Amelia’s?”
“Who else would be her ? Huh? You’re pissing me off. And stop saying her name.”
“Okay, well, I’m busy with Frankie right n—”
“Asher, I swear to God.” The interruption is harsh, desperation threatening to break through in my voice. “I’m not asking twice. I need it done, now .”
“You should get into the military because you sure know how to bark orders. Let me go get my laptop, damn… Whoa, what the hell happened to your neck and arms?”
“Don’t fucking worry about it! Just get the laptop,” I snap.
“You need to take a chill pill,” he mumbles, walking out of the room. He’s around Frankie so much, he’s adopting her vocabulary. She’s always telling someone to take a chill pill.
While he’s gone, I call the rest of the people I need to, to set the plan into motion. Starting with John.
“What do you need?” he answers. He knows I wouldn’t call him unless I needed something.
“Amelia’s going to call you probably sometime tomorrow. Whatever she asks for, say no. No matter what.”
John laughs, a sound that’s more mocking than anything. “Aren’t you putting too much effort into this one? This is the second or third time you’ve needed help in dealing with her. Like fuck, you can have any girl you want. There are billions on this planet, I know one who will bark if you say to bark. And you’re letting yourself stress over one.”
I grit my teeth, trying to keep my temper in check. Like I said, if I freak out again, the plan won’t work. “You’re right. I could have any girl I want. And the one I want is her. So fucking do it.”
He lets out a resigned sigh. “Whatever, okay. Bye.” The line goes dead.
I run a hand through my hair, my damn patience is starting to run low. Taking a deep breath, I dial the last person I need to—Frankie. She answers on the third ring, her voice low and hushed.
I chuckle. “I knew you’d pick up, even though you’re not supposed to be on your phone in the corner.”
“Yeah, because I have a bone to pick with you,” she whisper-yells. “What the hell did you do to her?”
“Do you want to help me make it right?”
“No, I don’t want to help you do anything, ugly face.”
“Hmm, really? Because I know a way you can do whatever you want for a whole week without getting in trouble for it. All you have to do is one simple thing.”
There’s a pause, and I can practically see the wheels in her head turning. “It depends on what it is… As long as it’s not anything to betray her.”
A smirk tugs at my lips as I lean back against the headboard. She is so easy to manipulate. Let’s just hope Amelia is just as easy.
“Nope, it’s not,” I reassure her. “Just give her your dad’s number if she calls and asks for it.”
“That’s it? Okay, I’ll do it. But what’s the catch? Are you sure I really can have a free week to—”
Her words are abruptly cut off by the creak of the door swinging open, and in the background, Asher’s sharp voice cuts through the air. “What are you doing?” There’s a faint sound of movement before the line goes dead.
I let out a long sigh, closing my eyes, the events of today playing over and over—and over—in my head. This has to work. I’m not letting anyone or anything get in the way of being with Amelia, not even her and her own stubbornness.
She doesn’t get it yet, but she will. We’re not just for now—we’re forever. She can run, she can fight it, but it doesn’t matter. In this life, the next, and everyone after, she’s mine. I’ll burn the whole fucking world down if I have to. Hell, I told her death wasn’t even enough to keep us apart, and I meant that.
No escape.
No end.
And John? He can go fuck himself. Yeah, we’ve been through a lot, but she’s worth the trouble, in any universe, in any lifetime.