Fourteen | Avery
Fourteen
Avery
I had never heard Kennedy giggle as much as she did with Sam while they attempted to put tinsel on the tree. I told them it was a bad idea, but they didn’t listen.
Tinsel covered the carpet and most of Kennedy’s hair, with very little of it actually making its way on the tree. But Kennedy was having fun and smiling, which was the only thing that mattered right now.
I was finally feeling better and had more strength and energy than before, which was refreshing. I’d taken Sam’s advice and added a dash of whiskey to my tea—something I wouldn’t typically have done because of Kennedy. But having Sam there and seeing how good he was with her allowed me to lower my guard a little bit and accept his help with her.
Once the tree was trimmed and every inch of the house was decorated, we sat down on the couch to catch our breath. Kennedy curled into my side, and I was reminded of how blessed I was to have her as my daughter.
“Thank you, ladies, for your help. The house looks Christmas-tastic!” Sam said with a huge grin as he struggled to hide something behind the couch. “I have one last thing that I need Kennedy’s help with.”
“Me?” she asked, looking from him to me.
I smiled and nodded for her to go see what he had for her. She climbed off the couch and rushed over. Her eyes lit up like fireworks as he picked up the mini Christmas tree and set it in front of her.
“A pink Christmas tree?!” she exclaimed. “And it’s my size!”
“That’s because it’s your special Christmas tree. I thought we could put it in your room and you could take care of decorating it. There’s also this box of ornaments that you open one per day until Christmas.”
“My own tree in my own room?! This is so exciting! I can’t believe we get to live here forever!” Kennedy squealed as she hugged the tree tightly and swung it gently.
My heart sank in my chest as I heard her words, not wanting to break her heart by correcting her. Our stay with Sam was temporary, and we all knew that. Or at least I thought we did.
Sam helped her take the tree to her room while I sat on the couch, trying to get myself together. It wasn’t his fault that she made that assumption. It was mine for not properly communicating to her that we didn’t have a place to call home yet. I knew that I needed to figure something out, and soon, but it wasn’t that easy. I wanted to make sure that we had the best start possible, and that meant I had to take the time to figure out what that was. She was too little to know or understand everything that had happened, and I wanted to keep it that way.
A few minutes later, Sam came back with a sheepish smile on his face.
“I’m so sorry, Avery. I didn’t mean for that to happen. When I thought about getting her the tree for her room, it never even crossed my mind that she might think this was a permanent home. Not that I mind you guys staying with me, because I don’t. You can stay for as long as you want to. I have no timeframe in mind on when you two have to—”
“Sam?” I said, forcing him to stop on the downward spiral he was on.
“Yeah?”
“It’s okay. I promise. It’s not your fault she came to that conclusion. It’s my error in not setting expectations right away that our stay here was only temporary. I’ve been so caught up with everything else that I haven’t even taken the time to think about how she must be perceiving all of this. So much has changed for her in such a short time that I forget to stop and help her process all of it.”
“You’ve had a lot going on, Avery. I don’t think anyone faults you for not knowing how long you’ll be here. But you’re right. She has had a lot of change in a short period. Maybe this is when things slow down some, and you both take a moment to catch your breath. Nobody expects you to have the next step figured out already.”
“I do,” I said with a laugh. “The day I packed up the car and left with Kennedy, I told myself that I would keep pushing forward until we had a sign that we were where we were meant to be. I knew it would be hard to walk away from the life that we knew, but we had to. It was the only choice we had. And now here I am, falling apart and having no idea where to go or what to do.” I sucked in a deep breath to keep from crying.
Sam came and sat beside me on the couch.
“You’re not falling apart, Avery. You’re taking care of your daughter and leaning on family to help you guys through this trying time right now. Like I said before, there is no time limit on how long you guys stay here. Trust me.”
“Thank you, Sam. You don’t have to do all of this, though.”
“I know. I want to.”
I wiped my eyes and smiled as I took the tissue he offered me.
“This would be so much easier if you were my cheating husband who didn’t love me anymore,” I teased, though I felt the sting of my words as I said them.
Sam’s face fell, and a flurry of emotions crossed over it before he pushed them away.
“That would never happen, Avery,” he said, his voice tight.
“I know,” I said, waving dismissively. “I wasn’t trying to suggest that you would ever see yourself married to someone like me.”
“No. I could easily see myself married to someone like you. What I meant is that I would never be that person, Avery. I would never cheat on someone as wonderful as you, and there’s no way in hell that I could ever not love you.”
The air in the room shifted around us as he stood up and left me sitting speechless on the couch.