Blaze #2
“Yep,” Asch replies. “That means edging Ezio out. I’m not willing to like… not be with Pandora anymore, and there’s no telling her what to do, but we have to figure out how to stop her from going at the frat so hard.” He’s quiet for a second, then adds, “Not that we don’t deserve it.”
I think back to last year, before I’d met the embodiment of chaos and passion in one sexy package.
“It wasn’t so bad,” I say quietly. “We did some fun stuff with Kappa Alpha. The time we painted the mural on that one lot. Did we have skill or talent? No. But it was fun. And the older guys gave us tips for our classes. Remember Brandon? He shared all of last year’s econ tests with you.”
“I know,” Asch says. “Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the good when a lot of them made it pretty clear I wasn’t welcome.” He closes his eyes. “Which I knew already, and now that feels even more true.”
“You didn’t try hard,” I point out. Asch glares at me, but I don’t back down. “It’s true! You found ways to avoid doing the frat activities. Even when people weren’t being dicks, you held back.”
“You don’t know how fucking hard it actually was!” Asch snaps at me, his eyes flying open. “You just sailed in and everyone respected you. Meanwhile, everyone calls me Blaze’s bitch and treats me like my only value is that I’m friends with you.”
“Then fucking use it!” I growl. “That’s the point of connections, Asch! Own the fact that we’re best friends, and that I could have gotten any one of them kicked out of the fucking university on a whim!”
He glares at me. “And that would’ve made everyone else think even less of me,” he retorts, but then his shoulders slump as he deflates. “I don’t want to use you, man.”
This is one of the things I always liked about Asch. He’s got a lot more principles than most of the people around me, even when it’s inconvenient for him.
They aren’t really principles if they only apply when it’s easy.
“I never minded you using me,” I say.
“Yeah. I know.” Asch sounds resigned rather than convinced, and it’s the tone in his voice more than anything that has me leaning in.
It’s not our first kiss, or even the second.
But here, in the semi-public venue of the New Valence riverfront, it feels even more significant.
It means more than a kiss with Pandora between us.
I open my mouth to deepen the kiss, only Asch has the same idea, and he fights me for dominance in a way even Pandora doesn’t.
Fuck, this is gay. Gayer even than having Asch’s cock rammed down my throat. I’m not supposed to be this kind of person, because my father would never accept me being with a man, and anyway Asch isn’t into me, except apparently he is.
He grips my shoulders and leans in, forceful, like he’s trying to simulate face-fucking with his tongue alone.
You have my permission.
Pandora’s words echo in my mind, and the arousal that was building chokes up.
I break the kiss with a gasp. “Shit.”
Asch blinks at me, his breathing coming quickly as he stares at me. “Shit,” he agrees. But he licks his lips, and I can see him watching my mouth like he’s considering kissing me again.
I sit back to look up at the sky. “It’s not you,” I say quickly. “I mean, it is you, kind of, but mostly it’s Pandora.”
Because when she’d said she was giving us permission, I could hear the hesitation.
She doesn’t have the right to be jealous. She’s the one who’s fucking around with three men! But guilt roils in my stomach, alongside the anger.
“I want to,” I add. “I probably have for a while. But not if it hurts Pandora.”
I try to imagine my life without Pandora in it. Without her brand of crazy to disrupt everything and force me to confront things I’ve never wanted to confront, without her wild schemes and dumb jokes and her manic, beautiful laughter.
Without Pandora, I never would have kissed Asch at all.
Asch exhales slowly, but he nods. “Yeah. I don’t want to hurt her either. I don’t…” He purses his lips. “I don’t understand what I feel for her, but I know that much.” He shakes his head. “How long do you think it’ll last?”
How long do I expect to stay with Pandora?
I’ve never been with a woman for more than one or two fucks. I’d have grown bored of Pandora too, except she wasn’t what I expected, and she understood how important Asch was, and she probably wouldn’t have let me go even if I’d wanted it.
I don’t want it. I haven’t wanted her to let go since the day she’d decided to join the ‘wild hunt’ frat hazing.
Or maybe I was already hooked the moment she cut Asch’s arm.
I squeeze Asch’s shoulder. “Forever. She goes on and on about how we’re perfect, how we aren’t allowed to leave her, but it’s true for her too. I’m not letting her dump us, ever. She doesn’t get to fuck other men, not after how deep she hooked her claws in us.”
Asch nods in agreement. “So the question is… what the fuck are we going to do? We have to keep her, no matter what, but we also have to deal with the frat and Ezio and your dad.” He looks down at the river, bumping his shoulder against mine. “You’re the mastermind here.”
“We figure out how to cut Ezio off from everybody.” I grin nastily. “He’s strong now because he’s got my dad’s support, and the frat. But his name is nothing. The Romanos are dead. Let’s snuff out the last remaining one of them.”
As for my dad…
I don’t want to kill him.
Despite everything, I don’t want to watch him die. I don’t want my mom to grieve him.
But if that’s what it takes to get him to back off from Pandora, I’ll do it.
“So we get the frat back on our side, and we figure out how to manipulate your dad. Easy.” He laughs. “God, Blaze, this is such a mess. All right. Let’s do this.”
Asch’s smile isn’t quite as feral as mine, but there’s something anticipatory in it that reminds me that he’s always had some potential with the Bouchard Syndicate.
Even if I do want to keep him safe.
Even if I don’t want him part of this life.
But I know—I’ve always known—that Asch is strong enough for this.
He has to be strong, if he’s going to be with Pandora.