15. Pandora #3
“Maybe Blaze should touch one and see for himself,” River says with a smirk. “If he’s not too much of a pussy.”
“I’ll let you hold Echo,” I say. “She’s used to being handled. And she isn’t huge yet. When she’s full grown she’ll be a full chonk blood python.”
“Full chonk…? I thought snakes were all long skinny noodles.” Blaze turns my hand over and massages the palm.
“Not blood pythons,” River says, like he knows everything about them.
“I’ll hold her,” Asch says. “As long as you promise to protect me if she goes berserk.” He grins at me. “Do snakes go berserk?”
It sounds like he’s talking about me, not the snake.
“They only attack if they feel threatened.” I sigh and sink into the couch.
I only attack when I feel threatened, too.
“See, you’re from an area without venomous snakes,” Blaze says. “Back home, we have to be careful or a water moccasin will bite and seriously fuck us up.”
“Why are you stepping in water moccasin territory?” I ask. “Do you just go swimming in the swamp? That’s bad for your health, Blaze.”
“No, we don’t go swimming in the swamp,” Asch says. He doesn’t relax his grasp on me, though it’s not uncomfortably tight.
It’s firm, almost comforting.
“Snakes don’t stick to their territory, either,” Blaze mutters. “They have no respect for human traffic signs.”
I laugh at his stupid joke. The documentary moves on to show a pit viper striking its prey, making Blaze wince.
“That’s what I mean!” Blaze says. “Look at those sharp fangs. With venom.”
“I wish I had venomous fangs,” I say wistfully. “Think of how much easier devouring my enemies would be.”
“It would be,” Asch agrees. “But it’s probably better for the rest of the world that you don’t.”
River snorts, but he’s quiet as he watches the documentary.
All the adrenaline and anger that had been coursing through me slowly seeps out.
I relax against Asch and Blaze, and I have to admit I do like the documentary.
There’s some great footage in there, and the narrator makes a point of explaining how important snakes are for the environment and that they’re viciously maligned by haters.
Not in those words, of course.
As the credits roll on the documentary, I say, quietly, “I don’t like being scared.”
It feels like too much already.
A Pavone doesn’t get scared. A Pavone is strong, and powerful, and laughs in the face of opposition.
All three of them go silent.
Then Asch says quietly, “I could quote a greeting card or some shit, but all I can say is that we all get scared. We all are scared. But it’ll work out. It has to.”
“And you aren’t alone, Pandora,” Blaze says. “A concept which some people are trying to drill into me, too.” He tilts my chin up. “So tell us about the needles.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, and I shake my head. “I can’t. It makes me sound…”
Crazy.
I don’t want to be crazy.
“Sound what?” River asks. “Please tell us. We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what’s going on.”
“It’s stupid.” I look down at my hands, still entwined with Blaze and Asch’s. “I know most people have hearts, I know I probably have one. I understand that there’s no actual knives living inside my chest, regularly tearing me apart. Okay? I know that. I understand it. Intellectually.”
This is where they decide to drop me.
This is where I get the strange looks and the jeering and the people who keep their children away from me.
If they do that, I do still have my backup plan.
The gun is waiting to be used, after all.
“It’s not stupid,” Asch says without hesitation. “Thank you for trusting us. I…” His other hand runs through his hair, mussing it. “I wish I knew what to say. I don’t. But thank you.”
Blaze lets out a long breath and kisses the side of my head. “We’re just some fucking frat douchebags, Pandora, but we aren’t douchey enough to drop you because you’re a little bit heartless.” He grins at me. “I think people say that about me too.”
I groan and shove against his chest. “I’m being serious, you dick. Not metaphorical.”
“Oh, but I thought you like metaphors? A woman of class, you said?” Blaze teases me, and I should be mad but instead I’m infinitely grateful that he’s treating me like normal.
“What class?” River retorts. He reaches out to rub my shoulder.
“Fuck all of you,” I grumble.
How are they being so nice? How are they willing to put up with me, despite everything?
I blink quickly to stop any pathetic waterworks.
“But if you’re going to be all supportive and emotional and shit,” I continue, “fine, you can help me deal with this stupid dean issue. Who is not going to expel me over a few measly rats.”
Blaze laughs and kisses my cheek again. “He’s definitely not. He won’t even expel you because of a minor house fire.”
“Minor,” Asch mutters, shaking his head. “No, he’s not. Who do you want to go with you?”
“Me,” River says before either of them can speak up. “I’ll go.”
The three of them start arguing about who gets to help me, and my eyes get runny despite all the blinking.
It’s good to know they’ve got my back.
I smile, and somewhere in the void of my chest, I feel a gentle thumping.