Chapter 7
7
MALLORY
M allory had tried to bury the feelings, of course. She was always so good at burying things. But no matter how many times she told herself to keep her distance, the pull was still there, still strong and undeniable. And it was only when she allowed herself to glance at Kara—really look at her—that she felt it. A pang in her chest, a feeling she hadn’t allowed herself to acknowledge. The same chemistry that had been there from the beginning, the same connection that she had tried so hard to push away. It was there again. But Mallory wasn’t ready to face it.
She had tried, over the past few weeks, to focus on her patients and her career. It was easier, she told herself, to get lost in the constant demands of her job than to deal with the complicated emotions Kara stirred in her. It was safer that way. But no matter how many tasks she completed, no matter how many patients she treated, Mallory couldn’t erase Kara from her mind.
Kara wasn’t Ember Thompson. Mallory tried to remind herself of that. She was a different personality. And if Mallory was honest, things would have never worked out with Ember, regardless of her job. But there was something about the profession that Kara had chosen that unsettled her. It was too close to the life she had once known—the life she had lost. The constant fear, the anxiety that churned in her gut every time Ember went out on a call, never knowing if she would return. It had been a painful existence—one she wasn’t willing to return to. But here she was, again, feeling that same weight in her chest. Kara wasn’t Ember, but she was still a firefighter. And that fact alone was enough to make Mallory hesitate. Enough to make her pull away.
When Mallory finished up her task with the patient, she could feel Kara’s intense brown eyes on her, even across the room. It was impossible to ignore. Despite the noise of the ER and the rush of activity around her, Mallory could feel the weight of Kara’s gaze, as if it was pulling her in. She told herself to keep walking, to stay focused on the task at hand, but she couldn’t help it. She stole a quick glance in Kara’s direction. Their eyes met for a fraction of a second, long enough for Mallory’s heart to skip a beat.
But she quickly turned away, her pulse pounding in her ears. She couldn’t afford to let herself get lost in that moment, in that connection. Not now. Not when everything was already so complicated.
As she moved toward the exit, it felt like everything around them slowed down. Her footsteps echoed in the hallway, and for a moment, it was just her and Kara, separated by only a few feet but worlds apart in every other way. Mallory’s heart beat faster as she heard Kara’s voice from behind her, soft and tentative.
“I’ll see you around, Mallory.”
Mallory’s breath caught in her throat. She stopped, feeling like the ground had shifted beneath her feet. The words were so simple, yet they felt like a weight. Mallory turned slowly, her eyes locking with Kara’s once more. There was a long moment of silence between them, a pause where nothing else existed except the two of them. Mallory could see the longing in Kara’s eyes, the same ache that mirrored her own. But Mallory couldn’t say what she wanted to. She couldn’t allow herself to say what she really felt.
“Yeah,” Mallory said, her voice steady, though her heart was anything but. “Take care, Kara.”
The words were clipped, professional. She hated herself for saying them that way, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything else. The ache inside her only deepened, and she knew that this—this goodbye—was the only thing she could offer Kara. It was the only thing that felt safe. The only thing that made sense.
As Mallory walked away, she felt the weight of the unresolved feelings between them. It was a familiar ache, one that had been with her for so long that it had become a part of her. But this—this was different. This wasn’t just about fear or caution. It was about something real. Something that Mallory didn’t know how to face.
She stepped into the elevator, the doors closing behind her, but the tension still lingered in the air. It hung on her like a second skin. She felt as though she would never be able to escape it, no matter how far she ran.
* * *
Mallory’s shift had been grueling. The hospital was a flurry of motion, with patients, staff, and the occasional interruption of beeping machines or the pounding of feet against linoleum floors. Mallory had done her best to push everything aside—every stray thought, every lingering emotion. But no matter how many cases she treated or how many charts she signed, her mind kept returning to Kara. The brief, electric moments they had shared haunted her. She had convinced herself that walking away was the right choice, that it was necessary. But the ache in her chest, the gnawing doubt, told a different story.
She was walking through the quiet hallway between ER rooms, taking a moment to catch her breath, when a voice snapped her from her thoughts.
“Mallory.”
Her heart skipped a beat, and she froze, recognizing the voice immediately. She hadn’t heard it in a while, but it was unmistakable. Ember.
Mallory turned, the mix of emotions flooding her all at once—anger, regret, and, strangely, a rush of familiarity. Ember stood in front of her, looking almost the same as she remembered—her wild red hair tied back in a loose ponytail, her muscular build covered in a plain t-shirt and jeans. There was something commanding about her stance, even here in the sterile halls of a hospital. She exuded the same strength Mallory had once admired.
“Ember,” Mallory said, her voice stiff, betraying none of the turbulence inside her. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling—surprised, unsettled, maybe even a bit angry that Ember would show up like this, unannounced.
Ember didn’t waste time with pleasantries. Her eyes were sharp, focused on Mallory with the same intensity she’d always had. “Heard a few things about you and Kara Brandon,” Ember said, voice casual but with a hint of something beneath it—something Mallory couldn’t quite place. “Scotti’s been talking. You’re avoiding her, huh?”
Mallory felt her chest tighten, and she immediately became defensive. “I don’t know what Scotti told you, but it’s none of your business.”
Ember’s smirk faded, and she pushed herself off the wall, stepping closer. “It’s exactly my business, Mallory. I’m not here to play nice. I know you, and I know how you operate. You’re running from something real.” Ember’s eyes narrowed, her voice softening with purpose. “I see it in you. I see you running from Kara.”
Mallory felt her stomach flip. She didn’t want to deal with this, didn’t want to face the fact that Ember might be right. But something inside her recoiled at the thought of Ember—of anyone—telling her what to do with her life.
She folded her arms defensively, taking a step back. “You have no right to judge me, Ember. You walked away from me when I needed you the most all those years ago. You left . Don’t act like you have the moral high ground now.”
The words came out cold, and Mallory felt the weight of them the moment they left her lips. But she didn’t take them back. Not yet. Not when the past still felt like a jagged scar, still fresh beneath the surface.
Ember didn’t flinch. She just stared at Mallory, her expression unreadable. For a moment, Mallory thought Ember might leave, but instead, Ember stepped closer, the warmth of her presence unmistakable. She wasn’t backing down.
“I’m not here to make you feel small,” Ember said quietly. “But I’m not going to let you destroy another chance at something real either. Kara is a great girl. I think you two would be really good together.” Her tone was firm, but there was a sadness there too, an understanding that Mallory wasn’t ready to admit.
Mallory opened her mouth to argue again, but Ember raised her hand to stop her. “I’m not done.” Ember’s voice was sharp, but her gaze softened slightly. “I’ve heard about your whole situation with Kara. You’ve been avoiding it, pushing her away, running from it.”
Mallory felt heat rise in her chest. She knew Ember was right—knew that every time she had been near Kara, the pull had been there, undeniable. But it was easier to push it aside, to tell herself that she had been doing the right thing. She had told herself it was for the best. She wasn’t ready to open herself up to the possibility of getting hurt again.
“I’m not running from anything,” Mallory replied, though she could hear the crack in her voice. “I just… I’m not interested. It’s not the right time. It’s better this way.”
Ember’s expression softened even further, and she sighed, as if Mallory’s words didn’t surprise her. “Bullshit,” she said, shaking her head. “You’re scared, Mallory. You’re terrified of getting hurt again, and that fear is holding you back. It’s holding you hostage.”
Mallory’s jaw tightened. “You don’t know what it’s like,” she said quietly, though she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince Ember, or herself.
“I do,” Ember replied, her voice low and steady. “I’ve been there. I’ve been so scared of losing someone that I shut myself off from the possibility of anything real. And you know what happened? I lost everything. Because I was too afraid to face my own fear.” She took a step closer, her voice growing softer. “I didn’t fight for you, Mallory. And while I don’t regret how that ended up working out, I do regret hurting you. But I’m telling you right now, you can’t keep letting that fear control you. You’ll lose something real with Kara, and that’s on you.”
Mallory’s chest tightened, the weight of Ember’s words landing squarely in her gut. She wanted to argue, to deny it, but a part of her—deep down—knew Ember was right. She had been running. She had been holding herself back because she was scared of feeling that hurt again. Scared of losing someone else.
Mallory swallowed hard, pushing her emotions down. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Ember studied her for a long moment, and then, with a sigh, she placed a hand on Mallory’s shoulder. “You don’t have to do it alone. But you have to decide if you’re going to keep living in the past. You deserve love, Mallory. Don’t let fear stop you from getting it.”
“You’re married,” Mallory said, her voice taut, the subject one she had avoided for so long. “You have a family now. Why do you care about my life?”
Ember’s expression softened just enough for Mallory to notice. “I care because I know you, Mallory. I know you’re scared of letting someone in. You’re scared of what might happen if you let yourself love again. And I’m not here to make you feel bad about it. I’m here to tell you that running isn’t going to protect you forever.”
Mallory bit her lip, trying to keep the surge of emotions in check. The old wounds—hurts that had never fully healed—suddenly came rushing back. She had been left alone by Ember once, betrayed in ways she couldn’t even begin to unpack. And now here Ember was, telling her what to do with her heart.
“You don’t get it,” Mallory replied, the frustration in her voice rising. “You can’t just walk back into my life after everything that happened between us and tell me what to do.”
Ember’s face softened even further, but there was no judgment, no malice in her expression—just concern. “I get it, Mallory. I really do. But that’s not what this is about. I’ve got a daughter now. A wife. Things are different for me. I’m not the same person I was when I walked out on you. And I sure as hell don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.”
Mallory’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, mistakes?”
Ember’s voice dropped an octave, the intensity returning. “I let fear dictate my choices. I ran away from love because I was too damn scared of losing it. And now I’ve got everything I’ve ever wanted. But it doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fight. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t have to face my own demons to get here.”
Mallory was silent for a moment, digesting her words. She hadn’t expected this side of Ember—the vulnerable side, the one that wasn’t just an untamed force of nature. Ember had always been the one to push back, to act before thinking, and yet here she was, speaking with a kind of wisdom Mallory hadn’t anticipated.
“And Josephine?” Mallory asked, her voice quieter now.
Ember’s gaze softened at the mention of her wife. “She’s my rock,” Ember said, her smile gentle, but fierce with love. “We’ve got a daughter, Natalie. She’s six now—hard to believe sometimes.” Ember’s eyes lit up at the mention of her daughter, and Mallory could see the love and pride there, a sharp contrast to the person she had once known.
Mallory felt a pang of envy—envy for the love and life Ember had built with Dr. Josephine Mars, a woman who had everything Mallory had always wanted for herself. Josephine was everything Ember wasn’t—petite, graceful, the epitome of femininity. The two women, so different, yet perfectly complementary. Mallory knew their bond ran deep, and the connection between them was palpable.
Ember stepped closer, her gaze never leaving Mallory’s. “Josephine and I, we’ve built something real. And it’s because we stopped running from our fears. We didn’t let them control us. We chose love. You can’t keep hiding, Mallory. Not from Kara. Not from yourself. You deserve this. You deserve to have it all.”
Mallory’s chest tightened. “And what if I’m not ready for that?”
Ember took a breath, her expression steady but full of understanding. “Then take the time you need. But don’t wait too long. Because life doesn’t wait for anyone. And neither does love.”
Mallory stood there, silent, as Ember’s words sank in. She wanted to dismiss them, to push them away. But they stayed with her, echoing in the back of her mind as Ember turned to walk away.
Ember paused for a moment, looking back at Mallory. “You’ve got another chance. Don’t blow it.”
With that, Ember was gone, disappearing down the hall, leaving Mallory standing alone, her mind racing. For the first time in months, Mallory felt a crack in the walls she had so carefully built around herself.
* * *
Mallory returned to the busy corridors of Phoenix Ridge Hospital; the weight of Ember’s words still heavy on her mind. Her footsteps echoed against the cold tiles as she walked briskly down the hall, her head buzzing with conflicting thoughts. She had barely made it two steps before she found herself replaying the conversation with Ember over and over. The sharpness of Ember’s warning, the quiet but insistent way she’d pushed Mallory to face her fears—it was all too much to ignore. And yet, Mallory tried to push it away, bury it beneath the responsibilities of the day. She couldn’t let herself get distracted. Not here.
She had a patient waiting for her, a surgery to oversee. But as she walked, her mind wandered back to Kara.
Kara. That name was like a ghost, haunting every corner of Mallory’s thoughts. The way she’d looked at Mallory with big golden brown eyes and a messy ponytail, the way her presence had made Mallory’s heart beat faster, and the way, no matter how much Mallory tried to fight it, she couldn’t seem to forget about her.
Mallory had been so sure, so resolute in her decision to keep things professional, to not let herself get swept up in something that could only end in pain. She had promised herself that she wouldn’t repeat the mistakes of her past, that she wouldn’t let herself get lost in someone who couldn’t stay. And yet, Ember’s words echoed in her head: You’re scared, Mallory. You’re terrified of getting hurt again, and that fear is holding you back.
The thought made Mallory’s chest tighten. Was that true? Had she really been running from Kara out of fear? She had spent so much time convincing herself that walking away was the right thing to do, that it was easier this way. But now, with Ember’s voice still fresh in her mind, Mallory couldn’t help but question herself.
The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. She had always been cautious, always hesitant to let herself get too close to anyone. Her heart had been shattered once, and she didn’t know if it could withstand that kind of pain again. But was it really fear that was keeping her from Kara? Or was it something else? Something deeper, something rooted in the trauma of her past that she hadn’t fully healed from?
Mallory shook her head, trying to focus. She couldn’t afford to get lost in these thoughts. She had a job to do. The patient she was supposed to meet was waiting. But every step she took felt heavier than the last, the pull of her conflicting emotions making her feel more and more out of control.
She turned a corner and passed a nurse on the way to the surgical suite, nodding absentmindedly as she went. Her hands tightened around the medical chart she was carrying, but her mind was elsewhere—on Kara, on Ember’s words, on the quiet ache that seemed to grow the longer Mallory kept her feelings locked away.
By the time Mallory reached the surgical suite, the doors were open, and she was greeted by the familiar hum of activity. Nurses and surgical assistants moved in and out of the room, prepping for the procedure. But Mallory’s thoughts were still far away. She gave quick instructions to the team, running through the steps she’d already planned, but her mind was fixed on one question: What if Ember was right?
What if she had been sabotaging herself this whole time?
* * *
As the team worked, Mallory found herself stealing glances at the clock. Each minute dragged, each second felt like a lifetime. She wasn’t sure what she was waiting for—some kind of sign, maybe. Some kind of confirmation that the path she’d been walking down wasn’t the only one she could take.
Ember’s words haunted her. Was she really afraid? The fear of repeating her past mistakes had always been a part of her, something she had learned to live with. But now, with Kara’s presence stirring something in her, Mallory couldn’t deny that there was more to it than that. There was something there, something that felt too real to ignore.
As the surgery began, Mallory focused on her work, trying to shut out the emotions threatening to overwhelm her. But every cut, every stitch, only seemed to magnify the feeling of being stuck, of being unable to break free from the walls she had built around herself. And with every passing minute, the doubt grew. Maybe it’s time to tear those walls down, she thought, a whisper in the back of her mind.
But what if she was wrong? What if she let her guard down and ended up hurt again? What if she wasn’t strong enough to handle the risk of loving someone else, especially someone like Kara, who was so different from the person she had once been with?
Mallory’s heart ached at the thought. She hadn’t fully processed the grief of losing Ember all those years ago and every other girlfriend since, and the idea of going through something like that again was almost too much to bear. But at the same time, the thought of walking away from Kara, of pushing her further away, felt just as unbearable.
When the surgery finally concluded successfully, Mallory felt like she had been holding her breath for an eternity. Luckily her hands had worked on autopilot- a surgery she had done a million times before. She stepped out of the surgical suite, her mind still racing with a thousand thoughts. Her chest was tight, her body felt exhausted from the emotional toll of the day. The patient was stable, the surgery a success, but Mallory knew there was another battle waiting for her. One that had nothing to do with medicine or patient care. It was a battle within herself, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to face it.
She walked down the corridor toward the staff lounge, her footsteps slow and deliberate. She couldn’t escape the nagging feeling that there was something she had to confront—something that had been waiting for her to acknowledge it.
As she passed the lounge doors, she glanced over her shoulder, as if expecting to see Kara standing there. But there was no one. She sighed softly and turned back to walk the long hallway, the weight of Ember’s warning still heavy on her shoulders. You deserve love, Mallory. Don’t let fear stop you from getting it.
The words echoed, and for the first time, Mallory felt the truth of them. But as much as she wanted to believe it, she wasn’t sure she had the strength to let go of her fear. Not yet.
With each step, the tension in her chest only grew, the unresolved feelings between her and Kara pressing in from all sides. Would she face them? Would she allow herself to take the risk, or would she keep running from the very thing she wanted most?
Mallory didn’t have the answer. All she knew was that for the first time in a long while, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was at a crossroads. And whatever choice she made now could change everything.