Chapter 28 #2
“Warlocks and witches are not gender-exclusive,” Soraya tells him, reiterating what I learned in my first class. “Though it’s rare, females can be warlocks, and males can be witches. But to answer your previous question—no, warlocks can’t be on the Trinity.”
“Why’s that?” I interrupt before Ethan can ask a follow-up question.
I’ll fill him in on the witches versus warlocks debate later.
“I’m sure Doctor Mort touched briefly on the debate in the community whether a witch or warlock is more powerful,” Soraya says, once again glancing at me, her eyes heightening with a keen intensity I feel in the marrow of my bones.
“And for the most part, no one has the answer to that question. However, there are a few elitists who insist that witches are by far the most powerful because they’re capable of pulling magic out of virtually anything.
That mentality was prominent hundreds of years ago and hasn’t faded with time. ”
She shakes her head with a wry twist to her lips.
“You don’t agree with it?” I phrase it as a question, but I don’t need to.
It’s evident from the irritation in her eyes that she has strong feelings about this particular debate.
“I think that most witches—and even a lot of warlocks—are archaic and stuck in the ways of the past,” Soraya says stiffly. “And I think that this mentality is what’s causing the coven to act rashly when it comes to the shifters.”
“Fear mongering,” Grayson rasps from behind us.
Soraya dips her chin. “Bingo.”
“Now, back to the rumors…” I press, realizing we’ve gotten off-topic.
Soraya sighs. “Yes, well…” She clears her throat. “It was apparent that your mother was going to be the next Maiden, and a lot of people suspected that Delaney was jealous of that. Delaney couldn’t understand why her twin sister had so much more power than her.”
“Wait.” I wave my hands in the air in a desperate attempt to make her stop talking. When did this noose slip around my throat? Why can I suddenly not breathe? “They were twins?”
I knew Delaney and my mother were sisters, but I didn’t know…
Fuck.
My mother… My mother would’ve looked like Delaney, if she were still alive.
Pain slashes at my gut, and I instinctively place my hands over my stomach as if that could keep all of my internal organs where they belong. I feel sick, but I don’t know if I’m going to throw up or pass out.
A hand touches the small of my back, and another one squeezes my shoulder. I glance over first one shoulder and then the other to see Grayson and Ethan watching me carefully, their expressions radiating nothing but warmth and comfort.
Their presence gives me the courage to suck in a deep breath and focus back on Soraya, who’s watching me sympathetically.
“I’m sorry,” she says, sounding genuine. “I thought you knew.”
“Please just continue,” I rasp out.
She hesitates, gauging my expression carefully, and I can tell she’s debating whether or not to share this next piece of information with me.
“I’m okay,” I assure her, though my voice is quiet and subdued. “Just tell me.”
“Well, rumor has it that Helena’s powers weren’t the only reason Delaney was jealous.” She pauses for a moment and takes a breath. “They say that, before your mother met her husbands—your fathers—they were in a relationship with Delaney.”
“W-what?” I sputter out, staring at her in shock, unable to wrap my head around this snippet of information.
My fathers were once in a relationship with Delaney? Crazy, evil, vindictive Delaney? My goddamn aunt? I think I’m going to be sick.
“These are only rumors,” Soraya rushes to reassure me.
“But people say that, at one point, Helena was in a relationship with a different man, and Delaney was in a polyamorous one with the shifters. I don’t know what happened exactly, but your fathers quickly realized that Helena was their fated mate and ended things with Delaney.
Delaney was absolutely heartbroken because she loved them and saw a future with them.
A part of her hated Helena for stealing them away. ”
“So Helena was able to have Delaney’s perfect life,” Grayson muses softly, his scratchy voice a balm on my tattered soul despite his words.
Soraya’s frown deepens. “I suppose that’s one way to look at it. Helena first had the power, and then she had the men Delaney loved. The two sisters became estranged, but then…”
“Then a pregnant Helena ran away from her mates, had me, and committed suicide,” I whisper as an uneasy feeling slithers through my chest and coils around my heart like barbed wire. “You don’t think…?”
I can’t voice the question, can’t speak it out loud. It’s too horrible to even consider.
But Soraya doesn’t have the same qualms as I do.
“That Delaney murdered her sister and hid you from your fathers?” She bites down on her lip. “I considered it.”
“And?” I press, fear pressing in on me from every direction.
“And…I don’t know,” Soraya responds with a self-deprecating shake of her head.
“I was just a child when all of this happened, but Delaney appeared devastated when she heard of your mother’s passing.
And I doubt she would’ve willingly sent you off, knowing what magic you possess.
She either would’ve taken you back to the covenstead to train you, or she would have killed you. ”
She shoots me an apologetic smile at her blasé attitude, though I don’t blame her for being callous. I’d rather have her tell me the truth than keep things hidden from me so it won’t hurt my feelings.
“Maybe Delaney thought it would be too suspicious if she showed up with a baby who looks exactly like her,” Ethan reasons, frowning.
“It’s not as if she could’ve passed the baby off as her own.
Everyone would’ve known she wasn’t pregnant.
She could’ve decided she didn’t want to hurt an innocent baby—her own flesh and blood—and sent Izzy away, hoping that she’ll never discover the truth about her magic and the supernatural world. ”
“But what did she have to gain?” I ask, throwing my hands in the air. “It doesn’t make sense. When my mom left to be with her pack, Delaney became the Maiden. And it wasn’t as if Delaney sought out my fathers afterwards to get back with them.”
Thinking of Silas or Kyle with Delaney makes me feel sick to my stomach. That’s one visual I never, ever need to have.
“And why did Helena leave in the first place?” Ethan continues. “Blackmail, maybe? Was she running from someone? And didn’t she leave a suicide note?”
His hand tightens on my shoulder in silent reassurance. I can tell he doesn’t like talking about this in front of me, but these are all questions that need to be asked.
Soraya doesn’t answer Ethan but instead glances at me. “Have you finished going through that book I loaned you?”
“Not yet,” I confess. “Though it’ll be easier if I knew what you wanted me to find.”
I can’t quite hide the irritation that permeates my tone.
“I honestly don’t know what you need to find in there,” Soraya confesses, startling me.
When I gape at her, she continues, her tone soft, “I just know that the book used to belong to your mother. Apparently, she took it with her everywhere. Read it almost every day. When asked about the book, she just said she found it enlightening.”
“What?” My head spins.
That book…is my mother’s?
I know next to nothing about the woman who gave birth to me, but a part of me yearns to discover all I can.
That same part feels almost guilty because I had a mother, once upon a time.
Someone who loved me unconditionally, kissed my knees when they bruised, and read me bedtime stories late at night.
My memories of my adoptive parents are fading with age, but sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can envision their faces and the soft smiles they wore when around me.
I can see my dad singing while baking brownies and my mother grabbing my hands and pulling me into a dance.
I’m terrified of disrespecting their memory by focusing on my birth parents.
But god help me, I want to learn everything I can about the people who brought me into this world.
“What’s so special about the book?” Ethan asks, confusion lacing his tone.
I told him and Grayson a little bit about the tome Soraya loaned me. I’ve only gotten about halfway through the book, though it’s been a few days. And while I find the content interesting, it’s certainly not something I would read over and over again.
So why did my birth mother keep it with her?
What is so important about it that she felt the need to read it wherever she went?
“I don’t know,” Soraya responds seriously. Then, softer, she adds, “I honestly don’t know anything anymore.”