Chapter 34
Thirty-Four
IZZY
“So…that was awkward,” Emery says as soon as we step out of the cafe, leaving Jake, Kyle, Silas, and Travan behind.
Jake claimed he needed to discuss “work-related matters” with Silas, but I have a feeling my foster brother is taking the time to reprimand the three adults.
Fuck, I love that boy.
The sun hovers at the edge of the horizon, its spindly gold rays brushing against the tops of trees and buildings. The setting sun has brought with it a cool wind that blows my hair around my head.
I run a hand down my face, feeling inexplicably tired. Exhausted, actually. My eyelids feel as if they’re made of concrete, the weight of them impossible to keep up.
A mixture of regret, rage, and disappointment curdles in my stomach. I acted like a fucking coward and left without asking any questions.
Why did I do it?
Am I just too afraid to know the answers?
“I fucked up with them, didn’t I? I should’ve asked them all of these questions and demanded answers and—”
“You have time to think,” Reid tells me gruffly, placing a hand on my shoulder before instantly lowering it back to his side.
His fingers clench and unclench as if unsure if he’s allowed to touch me.
“And we have time to finally catch up,” Emery says, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. He rubs his hands together, a mischievous, shit-eating grin tugging up his lips. “Like…a date?”
“Are you asking me out after I just killed seven people and then met with my biological fathers for the first time?” I deadpan.
Emery stops his incessant bouncing, though he keeps his hands together. “Errr…yes?”
“Good.” I chuckle, though the noise is mirthless. “Because that’s exactly what I need.”
“You know I would love to hang out with you guys,” Ethan begins miserably, peering at his watch. When he glances up at me, there’s an apology in his eyes—and a raging heat that sweeps through me like a wildfire. “But I have to be at work.”
Ethan works at a computer store in the mall. It’s actually where I first met him all those weeks ago. God, has it only been a couple of months? It feels like longer, like I’ve known him forever.
But maybe that’s just because I know how his body feels on top of mine, his lips teasing my own, his cock sheathed in my pussy.
A flutter erupts in my belly, and I curse the butterflies for making an unexpected appearance. Those fuckers never settle when I’m around these men.
Which reminds me…
“Where’s Ashton, by the way?” I don’t know if I’m upset, indifferent, or grateful he hasn’t shown up.
Jake texted him along with the others, but apparently, he hasn’t gotten a reply.
Ethan and Emery exchange a glance, and Reid’s frown deepens, creating deep grooves in the sides of his face.
“Errr.” Emery bites down on his lower lip, his tongue snaking out to fiddle with the bulb there. “We don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” I repeat, incredulous. “How do you not know? You four are thicker than thieves. I swear you guys even poop at the same time.”
“I’ll have you know I draw the line at butt wiping,” Emery interrupts. “But to be completely honest, we don’t know where he went. He went to the Council headquarters the other day, then he sent a text saying he was going to be away for a few days.”
“And you’re not worried?” I lift both eyebrows at that.
Ethan takes my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “Ashton’s fine. We’d be able to sense through the packbond if he wasn’t.”
“Probably trying to find Christian,” Reid grunts, scowling.
My heart batters my rib cage.
“And has anyone found him? Christian, I mean.” I know the answer, but I still want to hear them confirm it.
Ethan shakes his head apologetically. “I’m sorry. But Gregor has people looking. That’s probably where Ashton is.”
Worry for Christian briefly overshadows every other emotion.
Where is he? What’s happening to him? Is there even a hint of Christian left, or has he been completely consumed by his wolf?
Remnants of my dream from a few weeks earlier—or a few nights earlier, if we’re being technical—spring to life. Such a strange dream…
A dream that almost felt real.
My heart leaps into my throat.
Could it have been real? Could I have somehow…made contact with Christian? Is that even possible? Now that I’ve had the thought, I can’t think of anything else. It repeatedly stabs at my brain like a flaming sword, demanding my attention.
“Iz?” Emery’s concerned face consumes my vision.
“I just… I’m worried about Christian,” I confess.
And Ashton too, though my emotions for him are far more complex and confusing.
He’s my mate, and sometimes I feel the stirrings of…an emotion. An emotion that isn’t caustic irritation or hatred. But other times, I want nothing more than to punch him in his smug, irritating face. How can I be attracted to such a judgmental, pompous asshole?
“We’ll find Christian. We will,” Emery reassures me, though his eyes are guarded.
I know what he’s thinking.
No feral shifter has ever come back to himself.
“We should look for him,” I insist. “We should—”
“It’s about to be dark, pretty girl,” Em tells me gently.
“How about this? Tonight, you spend time with me and Reid. We missed you. A lot.” A hint of red creeps into his cheeks at his confession, but he forges ahead without pausing.
“Then tomorrow, before you meet back up with your bio fathers, we can search the woods for Christian. You’re here until Sunday, correct? ”
“Yes.” I nod.
“Then we can look Sunday too.” Emery offers me a smile—soft and gentle, two emotions I never would’ve associated with my flirty wolf shifter before. “But it would do Christian no good to have you traipsing through the woods when it’s dark.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right. I just feel so…”
“Useless?” Emery gives me a pointed look.
“Useless,” I agree.
“You? Useless?” Ethan interjects, snorting. “That’s like saying the sun is cold.”
He wraps an arm around my waist and spins me away from Emery until I’m facing him. I instinctively place my hands on his shoulders to steady myself, and a blast of warmth blazes through me.
The smolder in Ethan’s eyes…
God, I can’t think of anything but our time together.
“Go. Have fun with Reid and Em. I promise that we’ll search for Christian tomorrow. Everything else can wait. You deserve to…let go for an hour or two.” Then, with a boldness that surprises me, Ethan ducks his head and brushes his lips against mine. Once. Twice. Three times.
Every touch ignites my nerve endings. After the third kiss, he pulls away but keeps his forehead pressed against mine.
Then, his voice a soft whisper, he says, “I love you.”
I swear my heart dissolves into a puddle of goo at his confession.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
A sad smile unfurls on his lips as he steps away.
“It’s okay,” he tells me, his voice low. “You don’t have to say it back for it to be true for me.”
“Ethan…” I begin helplessly.
This time when Ethan smiles at me, it’s a little warmer, the skin around his eyes creasing. “I promise, Izzy. It’s okay. I want to earn those words.”
“What words?” Emery interjects, breaking the moment. He whips his head between me and Ethan, a furrow manifesting in the center of his forehead. “And when the fuck did you guys start kissing each other goodbye?”
Ethan and I exchange a glance, and a mischievous smirk erupts on his face.
“You jealous, little brother?” Ethan taunts, and Emery’s eyes narrow.
“For one, I’m older than you, dick wad. And for two…” He flicks his gaze at me before refocusing on Ethan. “Hell yeah, I am.” He turns to me and pushes out his lips in a dramatic pout. “Izzyyyyy, how do I get on kissing terms with you?”
I pretend to think, tapping a finger against my chin. “Hmmm. Maybe you could… No. You wouldn’t be willing to do that.”
“Do what?” Emery stares at me suspiciously.
“Do you think he would do it, Ethan?” I turn towards the quiet twin, whose smirk is firmly in place.
“Maybe.” He shrugs a single shoulder. “But he might do the other thing instead.”
“Ohhh. That thing. Yeah. Maybe he’ll do that thing. We’ll have to see.”
“You guys are fucking with me, aren’t you?” Emery’s eyes turn to slits.
Ethan and I break into laughter, and even Reid joins in, his quiet chuckle permeating the air.
It feels good to laugh, to let loose. I don’t know how long this levity will last, but for now…
For now, I’ll do everything I can to hold on to it.