Chapter 42
Forty-Two
IZZY
Seeing him is a punch to the gut.
Rage, disappointment, and a smidgen of pesky, traitorous desire all cloud my brain.
Ashton and I are…complicated. We hate each other yet are fated to be together.
He initially believed I was a spy sent by his own father to dig up information on him and his pack.
When he discovered the truth, instead of being apologetic, he continued to push me away every chance he got.
We worked together to save the shifters during the attack, but…
But then he didn’t check in on me after I returned from the witches.
He didn’t even ask about me.
That hurts more than anything else he has done.
Em, Ethan, and Reid made it sound like Ashton was trying to be some goddamn martyr by solving the case himself. Well, good luck with that.
“What is she doing here?” Ashton’s lips curl in a scowl, and I decide right then and there I’m going to punch him one day.
With a brick.
Travan moves as silently as the breeze. One second, he’s standing beside Kyle, and the next, he has Ashton pinned to a tree by his neck.
“You want to rephrase that question, pup?” Travan asks cheerfully, a manic grin on his face.
Ashton begins to sputter, his skin turning an alluring shade of blue, when Silas steps forward and physically pulls Travan back. The unhinged psycho releases Ashton with a pout.
Ashton gasps for breath, clutching at his throat, while Travan and Silas stand over him dispassionately. It appears as if Silas’s benevolence only extended so far. He makes no move to help the shifter stand.
“You’re such an ass. You know that, right?” Emery snaps, scowling.
At some point during the confrontation, he moved to stand closer to me. His shoulder now brushes my own, sending pinpricks of awareness racing up and down my spine.
“Just ignore him,” Ethan tells me softly from my other side.
Reid, now standing behind me, simply grunts noncommittally.
Ashton looks between his three best friends and scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Whatever.” He clumsily staggers to his feet, wiping dirt and loose leaves off his pants and shirt.
“And to answer your question, shit for brains,” I begin, my tone scathing, “I’m here because Christian is my mate. Or did you forget?”
Ashton sneers at me. “I love how you conveniently use the M-word only when it serves you.”
I take a step forward, anger coursing through me and morphing into something akin to adrenaline. “What the fuck do you mean by that?”
“I mean you’ve been denying this mating bond from the very beginning, and now that you need something—”
“Are you for fucking real?” I explode, eating up the distance between us so I can get in his face. “You’re the one who told me you were mating Desiree when you knew I was your Heart. You’re the one who made me out to be some evil villain—”
“And you’re saying you’re completely innocent in all of this?” he shoots back, and there’s a wild sort of desperation in his eyes I’ve never seen before.
The sight has some of my anger fading, replaced by trepidation.
He’s almost being…too mean.
But why?
“Enough, children!” Hale moves to stand between us, forcing us apart.
Ashton’s chest heaves as he glares at me—and that glare only hardens at whatever expression he sees on my face.
Probably suspicion.
“We’re here for a reason,” Hale continues, glancing at me and then Ashton. “We need to find Christian before he becomes a danger to himself or others.”
Mention of my feral mate instantly cools the remnants of my anger, leaving behind nothing but flickering embers.
Christian needs me, and out of everyone here, Ashton and I have the best chance of making him see reason.
“We’ll split into teams to canvas as much of the forest as we can before dark. When it turns five o’clock, no matter where you are, return here. We do not want anyone alone after dark,” Hale continues.
Gerry steps forward. “Em, Ethan, and Reid will go together. I want you heading east, but stop when you reach the river.” He reaches into his bag and grabs a walkie-talkie, which he hands to Reid, who won’t be able to shift with the others.
“If you find him, do not engage. Simply trail from a distance and report back. Every team will have a walkie-talkie.” He turns from Reid to face me.
“Izzy, you’ll be with Silas, Kyle, and Travan—”
Oh no, I won’t.
For one, I’m not ready to confront them.
For two…
“I’m going with Ashton,” I say determinedly.
“What?” Ashton spins to face me.
I don’t know if the shock on his face should be considered hilarious or insulting.
“Ashton and I together are most likely to lure Christian out. His mate and his brother,” I reason.
Gerry blinks. “I can go with you—”
“Anyone who comes with us could be harmed. Christian won’t hurt us,” I continue resolutely.
Travan’s eyes are dark. “That’s not Christian anymore, kid.”
“His wolf won’t hurt us either,” I insist, my mind straying to the strange dream I had.
His wolf referred to me as his mate. And if that dream were somehow real…
Ashton’s jaw is clenched so tightly that a dozen muscles thrum simultaneously.
After a moment, he grits out, “She’s right. This is the best course of action. And I know these woods like the back of my hand.”
“But—” Kyle begins, but Hale cuts him off.
“They’re right. It’s the best course of action. Christian is more likely to come out of hiding if it’s just the two of them. If he sees anyone else, especially someone he doesn’t know well, he could perceive them as a threat and attack.”
I can tell my birth fathers are not happy with this arrangement, though they don’t protest.
After the other two teams are assigned—Hale, Gerry, and Jake, predictably, on one, and my birth fathers on the other—we separate.
“Be safe, pretty lady.” Emery spins me towards him and, after ensuring no one is paying attention, kisses me chastely on the lips.
It’s sweet and innocent and soft—but still enough to cause the butterflies in my lower belly to riot.
“You too.”
He steps back, and his twin immediately takes his place. Today, they’re dressed eerily similar in jeans and loose sweatshirts. The only noticeable difference is the pair of glasses on Ethan’s face.
“Let us know right away if you’re in trouble.” Ethan tenderly, almost reverently, cups my cheek. “Or if you just want us to beat the shit out of Ashton.”
I chuckle, and somewhere in front of me, Ashton lets out a scoff of disgust.
Good.
Ethan’s kiss is just as soft as Emery’s, full of suppressed emotion. When he pulls away, his eyes glimmer.
Then he’s gone, and Reid’s there.
Reid’s kiss is quick, hard, but no less passionate. When he pulls away, my head is reeling, unnamed emotions barraging me from every direction.
“Stay safe.” It’s a demand. His low, growly voice causes heat to flood my veins.
“Yes, sir,” I whisper.
His eyes light up with something akin to intrigue before he backs away.
I notice, somewhat belatedly, that Hale and Gerry have already left. Travan has gone too, which is suspicious since he’s supposed to be in a group with Kyle and Silas.
The two men stand slightly apart from the group, doing their absolute damndest not to look in my direction.
Feeling incredibly awkward and unsure, I move towards them.
“Um…hey.”
Wow. Real articulate, Izzy.
Silas turns towards me, clears his throat, and then focuses elsewhere. “Just wanted to check in. Make sure you’re okay.”
“I’ll be better once I find Christian,” I tell them sincerely.
Kyle nods. “We’ll find him, Izzy. I promise.” He then moves towards me, almost as if he intends to give me a hug, before stepping away with an elongated sigh. “Just be safe. Please.”
“Always.”
“You still coming to dinner at our house tonight?” Silas asks gruffly.
“Errr. Yeah.” I rock from foot to foot.
I’ve been trying to compile a list of questions I want to ask—though a part of me is worried I’ll chicken out. At least my mates will be there with me again.
“Good. That’s good.” Silas’s jaw moves before he nods once, taking a step away. “We should get going.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, before the two of them can get too far away. “For helping me find Christian, I mean.”
Kyle’s expression softens. “Of course, Izzy. We’d do anything for you.”
“Anything,” Silas repeats.
Then, with one last glance in my direction, they disappear into the woods.
Leaving me alone with a fuming, irritated Ashton.
“Are you done with all of your heartfelt goodbyes?” he snaps, his tone caustic and bitter. “Because I’m pretty sure you forgot to kiss that tree goodbye.”
I roll my eyes and move to walk beside him. “Jealousy isn’t a good look on you.”
“Why the fuck would I be jealous?” He gives me a look like I’m the most ridiculous person who ever lived. “Someone thinks rather highly of themselves.”
“You’re right. I know my awesomeness. And you don’t deserve to bask in it yet.” I purposely move so I’m a few steps in front of him.
If he wants to be an ass, then he can watch my ass as I leave him behind.
Ashton quickly catches up with me, however, and the two of us walk in awkward silence.
“Aren’t you going to…you know?” I wiggle my fingers in the air to emphasize my point.
One of his brows arches. “What?”
“Shift. To scent Christian better.” That’s what everyone else is doing.
Ashton shakes his head. “I’m not the best tracker, but I also don’t want to come across as a threat to him. My wolf has a slightly different scent than I do—all wolves do. Christian might not be able to recognize me as his brother in my shifted form.”
“So we just have to walk alongside each other in uncomfortable silence?” I snark.
Ashton tosses me a pointed look. “For starters, we’re talking right now. And secondly, you’re the one who asked to be paired up with me.”
“I plead temporary insanity,” I deadpan.
“Makes sense.” Ashton nods resolutely, and I throw him a withering glare.
“Are you calling me insane?”
“You said it first,” he points out.
“Honestly, the only ‘insane’ one here is fate herself—for putting the two of us together.” I kick at a loose pebble, watching it roll down a slight decline.
Ashton appears stricken before he quickly clears his expression. “You’re right. Fucking insane.”
I eye him suspiciously. “Don’t do that.”
“Don’t do what?”
“You know what,” I snap. “You acted like you hated me when we first met.”
“Who said I was acting?” He gives me a derisive sneer that makes my blood boil.
I ignore him. “And you’re still doing it. Why the fuck are you so determined to push me away? To make me hate you? Because let me tell you—it’s working. I’m one goddamn word away from rejecting you once and for all.”
Shock, dismay, and sadness all creep across Ashton’s face, each one appearing and disappearing so quickly I think I imagine them. What’s left behind is bitter indifference.
“Then do it.”
“Reject you?” I stop walking and turn to face him. “Is that what you want?”
Once again, a plethora of emotions flickers to life in his eyes. Then his jaw clenches, and he grits out, “Reject me, Isabella.”
A bark of harsh laughter escapes me. “You are such an asshole. You know that? I can’t believe you’re taking the decision to reject you out of my hands.
Is that what this is about? You need to feel in control?
You want to hurt me before I can hurt you?
” I ball my hands into fists. “Why don’t you reject me?
You hate me so much? Prove it. Reject me. Right fucking now.”
An almost incandescent fury paves its way across Ashton’s face.
“You want me to reject you?” His voice lowers to a growl.
“Do it.” I glare up at him. “If you have the balls, of course.”
But he doesn’t reject me.
Instead, he kisses me.
And I abruptly push him away and punch him in the face.
“What the fuck was that?” I screech, anger heating my skin and prickling my fingertips.
My knuckles scream in protest, and I cradle my hand against my chest.
Ashton rubs his cheek in disbelief. “Why the fuck would you punch me?”
“Why the fuck would you kiss me?”
Ashton opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. Obviously, he can’t come up with an excuse for his actions.
“You don’t get to kiss me after you just went on a rant about how much you hate me and how you want me to reject you and—” I continue, but he cuts me off.
“I don’t hate you! That’s the fucking problem!
” He spears his fingers through his black hair and begins to pace.
“You would be much better off if I did. But god help me, I can’t bring myself to hate you.
I’ve been trying, but you are just so…” He squeezes the air—almost as if he imagines my neck between his hands—and huffs out a breath.
“I can’t fucking hate you, Izzy, so it would be best for everyone if you hated me instead. ”
“Why?” I demand.
When he turns away from me without answering, I grab his arm to pull him to a stop, ignoring the pain radiating from my knuckles.
“Why do you want me to hate you? You can’t just act all cryptic and not explain yourself.”
“You don’t understand the pressure I’m under.” Ashton drags a hand down his face, suddenly appearing unbelievably tired. Gaunt. “From my father and the Council and—”
“You want me to hate you because you’re under pressure?” Incredulity bleeds into my voice.
I can’t fucking believe this man.
Actually, I can.
This is totally something he would do.
“Sometimes things need to be sacrificed for the greater good,” he snaps.
“Am I the thing that needs to be sacrificed?” I blink at him, unable to believe what I’m hearing.
Is he for fucking real?
“No. That’s not what I meant.” His shoulders sag slightly, as if a one-thousand-pound weight rests around his neck. “Fuck, this is coming out all wrong.”
“We’re fire and gasoline, Ashton. Maybe… Maybe fate got it wrong,” I whisper, a tiny fissure splintering open my heart.
The two of us… We’re too different from each other. Too explosive when we’re together. He doesn’t trust me, and I don’t trust him. All he has ever done is hurt me.
Maybe, for my own peace of mind, I need to end things once and for all.
No more back and forth.
No more cutting jabs and snide comments.
No more “what-ifs” that haunt me.
“How does it work?” I whisper, feeling the crack in my heart widen.
“How does what work?”
“Rejection.”
He stumbles back a step as if he’s in physical pain, his eyes turning shadowed.
He opens his mouth—
But before he can respond, a growl sounds from the foliage directly to the right of us.
Fear skitters down my spine, and my pulse picks up speed, tripping hastily over itself.
Slowly, I turn towards the sound, unsurprised to see a wolf staring back at me, his amber eyes glowing with menace.
Christian.
And he does not look happy to see us.