Chapter 5 Maeve
MAEVE
Bram’s blood was already drying on my cheek, the digital clock glowing red on the wall.
My pulse raced and my face felt hot, but it wasn’t because the Hunt was about to get underway.
It was Bram.
I’d spent three weeks convincing myself I didn’t want him, convincing myself what had happened between us in the kitchen before I’d left the loft was just biology.
Sex. Animal lust.
And there had been plenty of that when he’d been standing in front of me with the clipboard. I’d felt it in the way my nipples had hardened, the way my cunt had gotten wet as his scent made its way into my system.
But it hadn’t been only that. I’d wanted to step closer, run my hands up his bare chest, over the ink I hadn’t gotten a good look at in the dark kitchen the night of our aborted fucking.
I’d wanted to feel his big arms around me, wanted to slide my fingers into his dark hair, wanted to slice his knife across my own palm, mark him as mine the way he’d marked me.
I felt this absence now that he’d returned to the other side of the room and I hated myself for it. Hated myself for letting him make me soft and weak and small.
Like June had been with Chris before he’d killed her.
Wow, M, tell me how you really feel.
I took a deep breath, forced myself to exhale slowly. I needed to focus on the Hunt. Needed to focus on winning.
Be quiet, June. Let me think.
I didn’t need June in my head. Not now when the Hunt was about to start.
I’d half expected Bram to kick me out before the Hunt started. After all, I hadn’t fulfilled my full ninety days at the loft after the last Hunt, although I had left the Butchers enough food to cover the whole term.
Now I didn’t know whether to be relieved or terrified that I was about to begin another twenty-four hours in the tunnels under Blackwell Falls. If I made it to the end without getting caught, the Butchers would have to do me the solid of taking out Ethan Todd.
But if they caught me — again — I’d be back in the loft for another ninety days.
My stomach churned at the thought. Because honestly? I wasn’t sure I could survive another ninety days with the three men who dominated my dreams.
It had sounded so simple the first time around: keep to myself, feed the bottomless pits that were Poe and Bram, and make daily smoothies and macro-specific food that would satisfy Remy’s absurd nutritional requirements.
But the situation had been anything but simple, and I had no one to blame but myself. What had I expected after I’d fucked Poe and Remy? After I’d let myself want Bram when he’d made it clear (more than once) that I was nothing to him?
Now I was standing across from twenty-one terrifyingly huge men in masks, and the thing that scared me the most was having to spend three more months with Poe, Remy, and Bram.
Not because they’d hurt me, but because I knew I’d hurt myself, batter myself against their hard surfaces and cut myself open on their sharp edges until I bled out on the expensive carpets that were layered over the loft’s polished concrete floors.
The Barbarian who’d bolted the door pulled out his cell phone. “You’ll get a three-minute head start.”
I edged toward the door like I’d done the first time. But this time was different.
This time I was really ready.
The Barbarian held up his phone. “Ready, set… run.”
And then I was off, sprinting into the darkness, leaving behind the light.