27. Nolan
Chapter 27
Nolan
O ctober flew by quickly.
Bethany and I sat down with the kids a few days after our talk about us and told them we were dating. Her boys were the least impressed. It was no secret to them. They’d remain silent about witnessing my nighttime comings and goings at her place. Kellie smiled about it, but didn’t really say anything. Mollie squealed and jumped into Bethany’s arms and hugged her. She mumbled something against Bethany’s chest that I couldn’t hear, but it made her squeeze my daughter harder and tear up.
We’ve had dinners together every night since, as long as I was home. Our schedules determined whose home we hung out at, and it was nice.
What we haven’t done yet is tell others about us. I mean, my sister knew there was something between us. After all, she gave us her honeymoon suite. But she doesn’t know how serious it’s gotten. Lately, she’s been distant and preoccupied, and when I try to ask what’s wrong, she snaps at me to mind my own business.
I can’t fault her. I remember what I was like after Stephanie passed away. I was a total wreck. Talking about my feelings was the last thing I wanted to do. It took me almost six months to gather myself and realize that pretending to be fine wasn’t helping anyone. That’s when I began therapy, and it proved beneficial. It gave me a place to say all the things I felt I couldn’t to those I was supposed to be strong for.
If someone had pushed me to go earlier, I’m not sure it would’ve worked. I wasn’t ready then. It had to be my decision. Which is why I’ve decided to not push Cora just yet. It’s only been a few months since her breakup. If she’s still struggling after the first of the year, I’ll start dropping hints about therapy.
“Hold still,” I tell Mollie for the tenth time, so I can braid her hair.
“I can’t. I’m too excited about tonight.” She tilts her head back and grins up at me. “I’m gonna get so much candy.”
It’s Halloween.
Since the first of October, she’s counted down the days, her anticipation building for tonight’s annual tradition. It’s her second favorite holiday. Christmas being her first. Tonight, she’s going trick-or-treating with Bethany since I have to work and Cora picked up an extra shift. It wasn’t something that happened often, the two of us working the same shift. It happened occasionally and when it did, Stacy came over to watch them for me. But Stacy is pregnant, and it’s taking a toll on her. So, I felt guilty asking her to watch the girls on the busiest night of the year where Mollie would drag her around the entire neighborhood and make her take her to as many trunk-or-treats as they could find.
And there was no way in hell I was asking Susanne. I didn’t need her judgement messing with what I was trying to build with Bethany. And until Bethany was ready to come clean with everyone, I was keeping that crazy, loony bitch far away from our little bubble.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that we hadn’t made it public yet. Her reasoning was that she needed time to make sure it was the real deal. She wasn’t ready to have everyone up in her business asking questions about when we were going to level up. She just wanted to keep it between our little family without the outside pressure. And because I kind of understood where she was coming from, I didn’t push. Eventually I would, because we couldn’t continue to do it like this forever.
“Daddy, do you think Miss Beth will take me to the cemetery so I can show Mommy my costume?”
I’ve already talked to Bethany about this. “Yep. It’ll be one of your first stops.”
Mollie smiles, her reflection in the mirror revealing her cute, little dimples. “I know Mommy will love her. I don’t care what Grammy says. Mommy wants us all to be happy, and Miss Beth makes us happy.”
This is why I don’t want Susanne around. She’s doing everything she can to turn Mollie against Bethany, telling her shit like how Stephanie would be sad to know we’re trying to replace her.
Lies. She’s insane.
Stephanie had her problems, felt insecure at times, but one thing we discussed was what we’d want for the family should something ever happen. It might sound morbid, but my job had its share of risk that we had to openly live with. We’d both expressed how we wanted the other person to find happiness again.
I wasn’t so sure I’d be able to do it, but I have. It took me three long years and lots of tears to be ready. And I’m not about to let my mother-in-law ruin it for us. Because I’m not the only one this affects. My girls love Bethany as much as I do.
Fuck.
I shake my head as reality slaps me in the face while I’m braiding my baby’s hair.
I fucking love that woman.
“Why are you frowning, Daddy?”
Shit.
I glance up to check my reflection and, sure enough, I have the meanest of all the grumpy frowns on my face.
“I’m concentrating,” I lie. “Okay, hurry up and brush your teeth so I can drop you off at school on my way to the station.”
Turning around, I stomp down the hall to my room so I can pout in peace. I’m frowning because I know there’s no way in hell I can share that with Bethany. She’ll freak out. Dump me as soon as the words slip out and tell me she made a mistake.
Kellie comes walking into my room with a pen and piece of paper in her hand. “You need to sign this.”
“What is it?” I ask as I take it from her and find the signature line.
Turning from me, her words are rapid. “Permission slip for me to wrestle.”
“Stop!” I didn’t mean to yell. “Hold up. Talk to me. Why am I just now hearing about this?”
She spins around, her head hanging low and shoulder slumping as she reaches for the paper. “Never mind. I knew you wouldn’t let me.”
I yank the paper back and hold it above my head. “Why do you think I wouldn’t let you?”
With her head down, her eyes meet mine. It’s something her mother did when she thought she knew what I’d say and wasn’t impressed. “Because wrestling is a boy’s sport. Girls are cheerleaders, not wrestlers.”
Now it’s my turn to lower my head. “Who the freakily flop told you that line of hogwash?”
Kellie stands taller, her face lighting up just a little. “Wait? Are you saying you would let me wrestle?”
“Why wouldn’t I? Girls’ wrestling has been around for several years now. I would never say you couldn’t because you’re a girl. Hell, if you wanted to play football, I’d let you try.” I lift the paper and slap it against the wall so I can sign it. “Did you know I wrestled in high school?”
“You did? Were you any good?” Walking over, Kellie peeks up at me, rising to her tiptoes, astonished that I’m actually signing.
I pause my signature and look down at her from the corner of my eye. “Three-time state champion. I would’ve won it my freshman year too, but I caught the flu right before state and had to forfeit. I can’t believe I’ve never told you that before.” Once I sign and date the permission slip, I hand it back to her. “Next time, don’t listen to Grandma Susanne. Come to me. Have I ever told you that you couldn’t do something simply because you’re a girl?”
Even though Kellie didn’t throw my bitch of a mother-in-law under the bus, I know she’s the guilty party who said these awful lies.
“No.” She takes the paper, and I can’t help but notice how her entire demeanor has shifted.
“Is this why you’ve been moping around here all week?” She shrugs and then nods, prompting me to reach out and yank her into a hug. “Kellie, I want you to listen to me and know that I mean this. I will never tell you that you can’t do something because you’re a girl. Never. Girls can do anything they want. There are no sports or jobs out there that are only for boys. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Okay?”
“Okay.” Her arms wrap around my waist and she squeezes. “I promise to always come to you. Thanks, Dad.”
It warms my heart every time she calls me Dad, even after all these years. Being her dad is the greatest gift I’ve been given a chance at. I know I’m not always the best at it, but I do the best I can and will always have her back.
“Time to go,” I tell her, knowing if we don’t leave soon, I’m going to be late.
Mollie is just finishing up as we walk down the hall. I prompt her to get her shoes on while I turn off the lights. The girls trample down the stairs, gather their stuff, and as soon as I’m down the stairs, they’re standing by the door.
“Ready?”
They both nod and we head out the front door to where my truck is parked.
Bethany comes out of her house and crosses the street before we make it to the truck. She catches Mollie, who saw her and started running, has her up in her arms and is carrying her back to the truck. They’re chatting a mile a minute as she opens the backdoor and helps her buckle in. Seeing Bethany like this with my girls hits me in that soft spot, hard.
“Have a great day. I’ll see you after school.” Bethany leans in and kisses Mollie’s cheek before shutting the door. “You too, Kellie. Are you going with us tonight?”
Kellie shrugs as she settles in the front seat. “Maybe.” Her tone is flat in that way only kids her age can pull off.
Bethany picks up on the fact that Kellie wants to go, but feels she’s too cool and too old to go now that she’s in middle school. “Finn and Felix both informed me they’re going. They can’t wait to walk Mollie around the neighborhood and help her get candy.”
“Oh.” Kellie shrugs again. “I guess I’ll go, too, then. I’m sure I have something to wear.”
“I’m sure we can figure out something.” Bethany steps back and lets me slip past her. “We’ll see you tonight.”
I grab her face and lean down to kiss her, but not before I let her know how much I appreciate her. “Thank you.”
“I can’t wait. I haven’t been trick-or-treating in years. When the boys turned ten, they decided they didn’t want me or Jodi going with them. We let them if they promised to stick together and turn on their location. Then we stalked them by watching the little dots the entire two hours they were gone.” Bethany leans the rest of the way in and kisses my waiting lips. “Have a good day.”
“You too. Now go before you make me late,” I tease as I pull her in for one more.
She gives my chest a slap, then waves goodbye to the girls while I get in, start the truck, and back out.
“I like her.” Mollie sighs like she’s telling us something we didn’t know.
“Me too,” Kellie parrots, but not in a mocking way. She turns to look at me and lifts her eyebrows while she lowers her head, as if waiting for me to agree.
“What?”
“Aren’t you going to say it, too, Daddy?” Mollie chirps from the backseat.
Kellie’s gaze shifts to her sister. “I’m not so sure Daddy likes Miss Bethany. I think he more than likes her.”
That gets the two of them going and has me rolling my eyes while I drive and they sing the kissing song. I mean, they aren’t wrong. I do more than like her. But there is no way I’m telling them before I tell Bethany, which is why I turn up the music streaming through my stereo hoping they’ll stop and start singing the newest Taylor Swift song I’ve had to listen to on repeat since the album released.