37. Nolan
Chapter 37
Nolan
JUNE
I t seems we’ve found our rhythm. After the fire at the port, I wasn’t so sure Bethany would stick around. She’d done what every firefighter tells their significant other not to do, turned on the news. That does no one any good. It only increases the fear and worry of a first responder’s loved ones, adding to an already stressful situation.
Not everyone is built to be the spouse of a first responder. It takes a strong person to send their loved one out in the middle of a dangerous situation and act like it’s normal.
Bethany is a strong person, hands down. But she’s also avoided relationships most of her life. Relied on herself and a handful of close friends. The moment the reality of life with a firefighter sank in—the ever-present danger, the irregular shifts, the emotional strain—I was sure she’d break things off.
Instead, it’s strengthened the bond between us. Our two families have melded together so completely that we now feel like a single, happy family of six, a unity we cherish.
Which explains why I’m under the hood of this piece of junk Davis bought the twins to fix up with him and drive. Except he can’t seem to find the time to help them fix it up, or pay for the parts it needs, or teach them to drive like he promised he would months ago. I’ve now taken on that responsibility, and it’s taught me so much about the boys.
Good kids. A little ornery, but aren’t we all?
“Go crank the key,” I tell Felix.
He skips around the open door and turns it. Nothing.
I’m about to have this piece of shit towed and junked. We’ve spent the last two months replacing parts, tweaking the wires. Cleaning the connections. And the motherfucker still won’t turn over.
Felix comes back to where I’m scowling at the engine and sighs. “Mind if I try something?”
It’s not like I’ve not let him work on it. I have. I figure he and Finn can’t fuck it up any worse than it already is it. “Go for it. What do we have to lose at this point?”
He scratches the top of his head, stares at the engine block, then snaps his fingers. I watch as he leans over, moves a few wires around, tightens something, steps back and looks at it again, then is back at it. He does that about five times before he rubs the back of his hand over his forehead and says, “Go crank the key.”
I grunt to hold back my chuckle—because he’s clearly the man—and do as I’m told. Falling into the old, cracked leather seat, I pump the gas a few times, then crank the key and it sputters. It doesn’t turn over fully, but fucking sputters.
“Hold on!” he yells over the hood. “Let me try one more thing.”
He tinkers with something, then cautiously peeks at me from around the hood. “Try it now.”
“Try it now,” I mock because I know he’s watching, and thinks he’s big shit.
And fuck me if this time it doesn’t turn over and roar to life. It’s loud as all hell. I’m not sure the car can be trusted to run or is even safe, but there’s no way I’m not taking this piece of shit for a run around the block. No fucking way.
I jump out. “Put the tools in the box and let’s see if she can make it around the block once.”
We clean up enough, so when Bethany comes home in a few, she won’t bitch about the mess.
“Can I drive?” Felix looks hopeful.
“Let’s make sure it makes it around once. Then if it does, sure.” I hop into the driver’s seat and say a prayer as I throw it in reverse and press the gas.
Three laps later, we come around to find the girls and Finn standing on the lawn waiting for us.
Finn is around the front, standing by the driver’s door, when Felix stops. “Get out, my turn.”
Putting it in park, he opens the door. “She’s a little rough, but I think after we drive her, she’ll smooth out. If not, I’m gonna see if my buddy Kendrick can look at her. He’s a mechanical engineer and I’m not so sure I’d have her running if he hadn’t shown me a few things with the car he’s fixing up for his senior project.”
I’ve heard all about this a hundred times now. Seems Felix has been spending time with the engineering team during his hours at the university. Exploring his options and soaking in as much information as he can, so that when it comes time to pick his major, he makes the right choice.
The girls hop in the back, and we do at least six more laps before Bethany waves us down, telling us it’s time to put the car up for the night and clean up for dinner.
As we clean up the dishes and the kids finish their homework, Bethany asks, “Do you think it’s safe to be driving that monster on the streets?”
“I’m not sure. I have my doubts that it’ll ever pass inspection.” After drying the pan, she passes me, I return it to the cabinet by the stove. “But that’s a battle for another day. At least it’s running. Which means I can drive it to a mechanic and let them tell me if it’s worth our time and money. If it’s too much, maybe you can talk to the engineering department and see if they’d like to use it as a project.”
“That’s not a bad idea.” Bethany hands me another pan.
“It was Felix’s idea.” I’m not taking credit for something he came up with.
Kellie walks in carrying her backpack. “Can I go home? I wanna shower before I read.”
“Take Mollie with you.” There’s something I want to ask Bethany. It’s been on my mind lately and I think it’s time.
Mollie shouts from the living room. “I want Finn to tuck me in bed.”
My daughter loves Finn. He’s stepped-up big time and watched her a few times when we needed him to. She loves Felix too, but Finn and she have this special bond. I think it’s because he’s not afraid to be silly and do all the things she orders him to do.
“It’s fine, Mr. A. I don’t mind. I promised her I’d finish the book we started last week.” Finn scoops Mollie up and sets her on his shoulders. “Come on, munchkin, let’s go see what Peter Rabbit is up to now.”
The three of them scramble out the front door, chatting it up the entire way. When the front door closes, the house becomes quiet for the first time since we walked in. Which is why we hear the shower upstairs between the boys’ room turn on, alerting us Felix is upstairs getting ready for bed himself.
I finish drying the last dish, put it away, and then hang the towel on the rack to dry. When I turn around Bethany is finishing rinsing out the sink and lays the dishcloth over the faucet spout. Before she can do anything else, I step up behind her and nuzzle in.
Humming, she angles her head, granting me access to her neck.
“Don’t freak out on me,” I whisper in her ear.
“Why would I freak out on you?” She groans when I nip her ear. “Do that again.”
I obey and then spin her around so she’s looking at me. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Dangerous thing to do.” She grins as she slips her arms around me. “Do share.”
I crouch, take hold of her ass, and lift her up onto the edge of the sink. Once she’s eye level, so I can look directly at her face, I say, “I think we should move in together.”
Her face remains stoic, void of any expression, as she takes slow breaths and blinks. “Is that so?”
“It is. Everything would be so much easier if we did. The kids wouldn’t have to do the back-and-forth thing. They could just go upstairs and get ready, and you and I wouldn’t have to say goodbye each night.” I tug her body closer to mine. “It’s time.”
“Where do you think we should live?” Her even tone is making me a tad more anxious.
“I don’t care where we live, Bethany.” Leaning in, I press my forehead against hers. “As long as I get to come home to you and our four kids.”
She hesitates for a moment before saying, “Can I think about it?”
“Just don’t take too long. I’m ready when you are.” My lips land on hers, and I do my best to not take it too far, knowing one of her sons could walk in on us at any moment.
Her phone rings on the counter, interrupting us before that can happen. Instead of answering, she allows the call to go to voicemail.
“I should go. I’ve got to work tomorrow.” Lifting her up, I set her feet back down on the floor. “I want to call and check on Cora and see how she’s doing in the new house with little Stormy and him .”
Bethany slaps me on the chest. “His name is Geoff. And you need to stop. He’s a good man and you know it.”
“He’s okay.” There is no way in hell I’m saying that about the guy who just showed up and wants to play house with my sister and new niece.
“He’s more than okay. But whatever.” Her phone rings again. She picks it up, makes a face, and then silences it.
“Shouldn’t you get that?”
Bethany places her phone face down on the counter. “It’s Chad. He never takes my calls, so he can wait. I’ll call him back later. I’m sure it’s nothing.”
After one last kiss, I head out the door. When I open it, Finn is just walking out of mine and heading back. We nod as we pass and I try not to overthink her response to needing to think about us moving in together. What’s there to think about?
I get ready for bed, trusting that things will work out; we’ve already come so far. She just needs a few days to process, but hopefully by the weekend we’ll be rearranging rooms and moving in together.
My alarm goes off sooner than I’m ready. Groggily, I roll over, snatching my phone from the nightstand, only to see several missed texts from Bethany lighting up the screen. I can’t help but smile, but that soon fades when I open them and start reading.
BETHANY:
I’m leaving. You need to find an alternative sitter for the girls.
BETHANY:
I don’t know when I’ll be back.
BETHANY:
Don’t call. I won’t be able to answer.
BETHANY:
I love you.
BETHANY:
I’m sorry.
What the fuck?
I jump out of bed and rush down the stairs with the phone still in my hand. Ignoring her order, I dial her number, only to hear the familiar beep of voicemail. Once I’m across the street, I pound on her front door, but no one answers. Which means I have to run back across the street and grab my keys and then run back and try not to panic.
Too late, I’m in full on panic mode.
With the door open and the alarm disarmed, I yell, “Bethany!” My voice echoes in the silent house. “Bethany, what do you mean you’re leaving?”
No one responds. The house is eerily quiet.
My feet take the stairs two at a time, and I throw open Felix’s door first. His bed is empty and unmade. Which is why I step through the connecting bathroom and into Finn’s room. His bed is also empty, and it looks like he was in a hurry to get out of here. His drawers are all open and mostly empty.
What the fuck?
Did she really just leave? Take the boys and leave all because she was freaked out because I wanted us to move in together.
I don’t have time to sort this out, not this morning.
Locking the house up tight, I punch in my sister’s number and feel bad to be calling so early.
“Hey, do you know what time it is?”
“I’m sorry. I need you to watch the girls.” With every passing second, my anger intensifies as I walk across the street. “If you can’t, I understand. But I think it’s best if we just plan on it being you again. Please don’t ask why. I don’t have an answer for that. I just need your help.”
“Bring them over. You can explain later.” Cora yawns. “I was up anyway.”
“Thanks. Once you get settled, the girls and I will come by and watch Stormy. Let you and Geoff have a date night.” Closing my door, I head straight for the kitchen. I need coffee.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you soon.”
I tell her goodbye and drop my phone on the counter. Coffee in hand, I inhale deeply and reread Bethany’s messages.
Something’s off. I can’t put my finger on it. All I see is red.
Before I lose my shit, I fire off a text.
ME:
I don’t know what the fuck is going on. But I need answers, and I need them now.
After hitting send, I wake the girls to get them going. There’s no telling if, or when, she’ll respond. All I know is that I need answers before the hole in my chest starts bleeding again.