Chapter Four
Dame Street at midday on a Saturday rivaled any spot in Dublin for the sheer number of people wandering about. It was, in fact, the reason Winnifred chose this time and place each week to go to market and run her various errands. There was anonymity in a crowd.
She enjoyed some aspects of living in a large city. Dublin had an energy and a pulse one didn’t find in the country. Merchants of every kind filled the web of endless streets and alleyways. Anything a person could possibly want could be found somewhere in the city.
But it wasn’t home.
She longed for the market cross in Kinnelow.
She missed the familiar faces and the feeling of being amongst family, even having no family left.
She had been orphaned by the Famine, but the village had taken her in.
They had raised her and cared for her, and they were giving her this chance at a future, however risky it was.
In only a few short weeks, she could go back and begin to live her life.
“Miss Winnie?”
She spun around, shocked to hear someone call her by name. She recognized the man immediately. “Liam—er, Mr. Rafferty.”
He smiled warmly. “You are welcome to call me Liam. I truly don’t mind.”
She ought to have refused—it was a very familiar way to address him—but it made him seem more like a friend, and she needed one. “It’s a pleasure to see you, Liam.”
“Even though, last time I saw you, I wreaked destruction on your parlor?”
With a dramatic sigh, she said, “I have recovered. Though I do intend to hide the dishes should you call again.”
Oh, that soft, rumbling laugh of his.
“Would you mind if I walked with you?” he asked. “I’ve a few errands to run, myself.” He motioned with his head toward her basket.
She ought to say no. ‘Twould be far safer if she did. And yet, she heard herself answering, “I would like that very much.” Why was it she so easily threw caution to the wind where he was concerned?
Relief entered his eyes, and her heart flipped about in her chest. He wanted to spend time with her and would’ve been disappointed if she had refused his request. She couldn’t remember the last time that had happened.
She shouldn’t have been surprised, though. He had shown Fred kindness, and no one ever did that. She had spent the days since his very artful dismissal of Gerard Hopkins thinking back on that moment with delight. Liam had defended Fred, even though Fred had given him no reason to.
Winnifred did her utmost to make certain the people at Trinity kept their distance from her.
But she hadn’t anticipated how unkind so many of them would be because Fred was so withdrawn.
Over the years, that unkindness had rendered her persona all the more gruff and grumpy.
It had become more than a strategy for preventing people from looking too closely at her; she was truly unhappy there.
“I don’t know which shops you need to visit,” she said, hesitantly. “If I am impeding your ability to see to your own needs today, please tell me.”
“None of my needs are so pressing that I would abandon the opportunity to spend a little time with you in order to pursue them.”
While that response could quite easily have been little more than an empty bit of flirting, there was nothing but sincerity in his voice.
She wasn’t certain what to make of that.
Winnifred had kept so many walls up since arriving in Dublin.
Her secret was too dangerous to take lightly.
It was always for the best to assume people couldn’t be trusted, and far too often, that proved true.
But Liam, this chance-met stranger, was overturning all that. She had to proceed warily, but, heaven help her, she could feel herself plunging into these unknown waters.
Shrugging a single shoulder, she said, “Suppose one of my stops today is to the corset maker? What do you mean to do then?”
With a smile too mischievous to be anything but teasing, he answered, “I shall simply have to be fitted for one myself.”
Winnifred laughed; she couldn’t help herself. She so seldom laughed any longer. As Fred, she didn’t dare. As herself, she was always alone.
They made a meandering walk along the streets of Dublin. As needed, one or both of them would drop into a shop to make a purchase. A few times, they wandered inside places in which they didn’t mean to do anything but browse.
The bookseller’s proved particularly enticing to both of them.
They quickly discovered they had similar tastes in books.
Their visit was filled with a casual and easy discussion of titles they’d read, some of which overlapped.
Though Liam repeatedly poked fun at himself about the sedate and boring nature of those who studied engineering, his taste in books indicated he was anything but monotonous.
He’d read quite a variety, on many different topics.
He read fiction as well as nonfiction. When she spoke of things that interested her, being quite careful to avoid the topic of medicine, he showed an interest in that as well.
They made their way to the greengrocer’s. While there, anything she needed he fetched for her and placed in her basket. He gathered his own purchases as well. They worked together as naturally as if they had been doing so all their lives.
How very easily she could grow accustomed to this.
They had spent nearly two hours together when, passing by a pie seller’s cart, Liam bought two, then invited her to join him for lunch. They found an obliging bench in St. Stephen’s Green, and settled in.
It was a lovely, cool day. Spring in Ireland could be a bit unpredictable, but this day was fine. They talked as they ate and found more and more things in common.
“I must admit,” Liam said between bites of pie, “I’m a little disappointed in our afternoon.”
Winnifred’s heart seized at the declaration. “You are?”
“Yes. We never did stop by the corset maker.”
They both laughed. What a perfect afternoon it was proving to be. He was friendly and personable and seemed to genuinely enjoy her company.
But like most perfect things, it ended. Gerard Hopkins passed by.
With effort, Winnifred prevented any sort of reaction from showing in her face.
It was Fred who knew Gerard. Winnifred wasn’t meant to be acquainted with him at all.
And yet, there he was. She knew what to expect, but had to leave herself open to what was coming.
“A much better wager this time around,” Gerard said, motioning subtly with his head toward Winnifred.
“I don’t understand,” Liam said.
“Your company has improved.”
Liam kept his expression one of confusion. “I don’t understand.”
Gerard was clearly unsure why he was receiving that response. “I was referring to our conversation at Trinity.”
“I don’t understand.”
With what looked like a barely prevented eye roll, Gerard began walking away. His muttered “Imbecile” was just loud enough to be overheard.
Far from offended, Liam grinned at Gerard’s retreating back. “That was tremendously fun.”
“Do you know him?” How she disliked having to be less than honest with her newfound friend.
“Unfortunately. And, more unfortunately still, your brother knows him.”
“Ah. He and m’ brother don’t get on.”
Liam shook his head. “And while your brother doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy company, the animosity between him and that man cannot be laid on Fred’s shoulders.
That muttonhead” —he motioned toward the man Winnifred had long considered her tormentor— “seems to take delight in being cruel to your brother.”
“You are kind to Fred. Few people seem to care what happens to him.”
Liam set his hand gently on hers. “But you do.”
“I worry about him.”
He kept his hand in hers. She accepted the comfort he offered while it was available.
“Do you think your brother worries about you?”
It was very difficult not to let the irony of that question show in her face. “You wonder if he does because he shows so little regard for people, ya?”
“I’d rather not speak ill of your family member.”
She ought to have been pleased to hear that her disguise as Fred was working so well. But she wasn’t. “Fred is not unkind nor unfeeling. He’s simply . . .” She wasn’t certain how to end that thought.
Liam made a suggestion. “Shy, perhaps. Or perhaps he simply struggles to interact with people. I’ve known others like that, people for whom even the most basic social interactions present a tremendous struggle.”
“I do think he is more comfortable when he’s left alone.” Heavens, she was trying very hard to be truthful, but all the while knowing she was intentionally deceiving him. What a horrible turn to play on someone who was showing her such kindness.
They continued on their way, having finished their meat pies. She enjoyed his company as always. They wandered a bit longer before he walked her back to her flat.
He stopped at the doorway. “I’ll not ask to be invited in. If Fred is home, my being here would likely make him uncomfortable. I don’t wish to cause him distress. But please offer him my greetings.”
“I will.”
Liam took her hand once more and, raising it to his lips, pressed a sweet and friendly kiss there.
She watched as he walked away, chastising herself for having let things go this far.
She could feel herself growing more and more attached to him, more and more fond.
How very unwise she would be to let this continue.
And yet, the heart seldom listened to the pleadings of the mind.