Chapter 1 #2
My high school sweetheart, the man that broke my fucking heart.
Aubry was my ongoing living nightmare and my weakness wrapped in one tall, dangerous package.
Handsome as sin, with a clean beard, broad shoulders in a tailored damn jacket.
I could already picture the smug smirk plastered on his face soon as I came into contact with him.
“Gone and answer the damn door, I already told you if he ain’t coming here with my G-baby he don’t need to be popping up at all.” My momma yelled her words loud enough for Aubry to hear her through the door.
She stomped away from me and my boxes and went to plop down on the couch.
She made it clear that there wouldn’t be any privacy with this visit.
I sighed then took in a deep breath. I was nervous as hell because this visit could easily go left.
I sat the box down, then quickly turned to the door not wanting for him to bang on the door three more times.
Soon as I opened it his brown eyes cut straight into me like he owned me… Maybe he did to a certain degree.
“Truly,” he drawled, stepping all into my personal space.
His cologne drifted past my nose and into my lungs tangled with memories that I hated myself for holding onto.
“We need to talk.” He stated flatly. He looked past me and frowned in my mom’s direction.
“Alone, of course.” He continued.
I gripped the door tighter; my stomach twisted into knots from the mere thought of being alone with him.
“About what, Aubry?” I asked ready to get it over with.
“About nothing. He’s a toxic fool, Truly. He’s married and keep sniffing up behind you! He sure knows how to keep pulling you back into his web of bullshit.” My momma words sliced the moment in half.
She spoke the truth, but the truth had never been enough to save me from Aubry. He leaned in until his lips brushed against the edge of my ear.
“You gone talk to me…or you gone forget you got Lolani waiting to see her momma this weekend?” He gritted out lowly.
There it was, a promise and threat in disguise. He said the words low as hell so only I could hear them. My heart stopped, and my throat locked up. This was the chain he always yanked on between us because he knew for my baby girl Lolani, I would never break the chain.
“We can talk Aubry. Can you give me just a minute first?” I tried at buying time.
“Nah, I want to talk now…In my car.” He smirked at me sinisterly.
He walked away from me confidently; I stood with tears ready to drop. I roughly backhanded my eyes ridding the moistness from them. I stepped back inside of my house, only to slide my feet into my hot pink Nike sandals that I kept at the front door.
“Truly Monae Jackson, you better not go after him. You can’t be that dumb, baby girl. This is why it’s hard for you to get over him!” My momma’s voice sounded off from behind me.
I told Aubry three months ago that I was done being at his disposal.
All he ever did was play with my emotions and crush my feelings over and over.
I wanted to turn around and look at my mom, I thought about how comforting it would have felt to fall in her arms and just feel her hold me.
I couldn’t, I was done making my problems belong to my parents’.
“I’ll be back, Ma.” I said somberly.
Before she could say anything back to me, I closed the door behind me.
I looked down the pathway and took in a deep breath before stepping off the porch.
Aubry opened the passenger door for me like the fake gentleman he always displayed himself as being.
His new big body Benz had tinted windows along with nice rims which only showcased that his job as a software engineer was paying off nicely.
Aubry worked at one of the biggest tech companies in southern California.
He made sure to rub that knowledge in anyone’s face that he felt was beneath him.
Besides the good job that he had, he was still a hood dude at heart.
Soon as I climbed into the front seat of his car, the smell of new leather seats mixed with his cologne traveled up my nose.
Aubry walked around the front of his car and got inside. His hand found my thigh before he started the car.
“You look good as fuck, baby. I been thinking about you like crazy, why haven’t you responded back to my text messages?” His voice was calm for now.
I bit into my bottom lip, feeling a swirl of emotions hit me at once.
I hated how emotional Aubry made me feel.
His touch and compliments still did something to me when it shouldn’t have.
I hated sounding like a nagging side piece when it was never supposed to be this way from jump.
So, I tried my very best to keep my complaints down to a minimum whenever I was in his presence.
“Your wife,” I cleared my throat, hating the way my voice cracked at the start of my sentence. “Ashley already cursed me out, Aubry. She thinks I still want her husband and—”
“You do want me.”
I shoved his hand off my thigh, instantly pissed.
“I did want you, wanted us to work for Lolani! You never acknowledge what all you’ve done to break and hurt me!
I’ve been with you since ninth grade; I loved you with a young heart and still love you as a grown woman.
I wasn’t ideal enough for you in college.
It took me a long time to accept that but when I did, I let you go!
” I dropped my head in defeat and finally allowed my tears to drop.
I looked over at Aubry, for a moment, it felt like I was starting to get through to him. He ran his hand down his wheat-colored face then tugged at the bottom of his beard. Since he remained quiet, I continued to talk. Once again, my emotions took control.
“You kept coming around, fucking me, claiming to love me and even wanting to make it work once you got settled with a good job. I end up pregnant and ecstatic about having your baby, all for a bitch to be at my parents’ doorstep claiming to be your wife…what followed after that, Aubry?”
I cocked my head to the side with balled fist waiting for him to finally admit to his fucked-up ways.
“All for you to go to court and make me out to be an unfit mother! Black mailing my father with his past! You couldn’t even wait until Lolani turned one years old, you—”
“Shut the fuck up! What’s done is done, and I don’t feel sorry for none of what I had to do to ensure my daughter is straight.
Ashley is a good stepmother, if it wasn’t for her, you wouldn’t be able to do all of what you do!
Besides,” he forcefully placed his hand back on the top of my thigh and gripped it tightly.
Possessively, Aubry’s hand trailed between my legs. I already knew what he was on but wanted to fight it. I was tired of being tired with this entire situation. I felt helpless, like a pawn in this fucked up cycle of what he deemed as normal between us.
“I came here to feel you, baby. A nigga miss this puss—”
“Don’t!” I stopped his hand from cupping my pussy.
I slapped his hand away just as he skirted away from in front of my parents’ house. My chest heaved, as anger and shame stirred in the pit of my stomach.
“You’re married, and I’m trying to get my shit together. I don’t have time for this shit with you, Aub.” I sighed the words out.
Give me a fucking break, please!
“Yeah, I’m married…but you never care about that wedding band when I’m deep in that pussy.” His wheat complexion reddened as he stopped at a red light.
“I’m not on that no more, you might as well take me back home.” I said loud and clear for it to get through to his brick head.
“Alright fasho.” He sucked his top lip into his mouth then released it with a loud pop.
“Don’t expect to see Lolani this weekend.” He shrugged.
The light turned green, and he busted a dramatic u-turn and accelerated to five as he zoomed back towards my parents’ house. His words hit harder than any slap ever could. My breath stuttered as panic seeped in.
“You took my baby from me, because that bitch womb couldn’t carry your seed!” I yelled.
“Yeap, that’s the reason, Ma.” He chuckled dryly.
“The fuck else you got to say? My wife a better mother than you! She knows how to play her fucking role too! She doesn’t beg and nag a nigga, she never be on the stupid insecure shit that you use to be on, going through my phone to find what you already know is there!” He spat the words out coldly.
“You confusing my daughter! She calls us both mommy! It’s me, Aubry!
I fucking—” A sob broke through as I dropped my head in defeat.
“I love my baby, I want to be a full-time mother to her. I’m not a bad person and you knew this from jump.
You don’t have to want me, but that shouldn’t make you continue to keep my baby from me, she loves me and cry every time she has to go. ” I cried out.
“I don’t give a fuck. I refuse to have any baby daddy and baby momma problems with you.
If I let you keep Lolani, you wouldn’t have done shit but put me on child support with your broke ass.
My daughter good, she being raised in a two-parent home!
Fuck!” He slammed his hand hard against the dashboard; I jumped out of fear.
“Why the fuck can’t you just be happy with how shit is? You get to see her on the weekends. You don’t have to do too much of shit even then? Let’s be real, you just jealous of my wife…you wish it could be you in her shoes.” He shook his head.
It was supposed to be me! Since it’s not, just let me be the mom I know I can fucking be! I thought, as I shut my eyes for five long seconds. I wanted to punch on Aubry until my knuckles bled out. That was a fight that I knew I wouldn’t win so I calmed myself before I spoke.
“I’m going to take you back to court when I get my money up, Aubry.
I’m really getting sick of this shit. This ain’t two years ago when my dad was trying his best to be on good terms with you because of his past. I swear, one day I’m really going to boss up on you.
Get my own place, and everything else that I need to get my baby back. ” I gritted out.
My dad’s track record in the streets was dirty.
It was drug money that afforded my parents’ the huge six-bedroom two story house in Baldwin Hills that we lived in.
Aubry called himself having dirt on my father in order to get my parents to fall back.
I had to beg my dad not to revert back into his old streets ways because he wanted to kill Aubry for even making the threat.
“That’s cool, but you can try me bitch. Ain’t no judge gone tell me I gotta hand my daughter over to her messy-ass ghetto momma who never even had a fucking job! A bitch that never lived on her own, never paid a fucking bill. I can’t even put you on child support if I wanted to!” He yelled.
Aubry made a sharp turn back onto my parents’ block then pulled back up to the curb. Tears stung my eyes, as I started to bite on my short French tipped nails.
“That nice ass thick shape of yours is damn near gone. You sitting up in the house making content all day, eating, and acting like you some productive bitch. Is that what you want our daughter to look up to? Dumb ass bitch, get the fuck out my car.” Aubry spat.
This was the invisible chain that he always yanked at. Aubry strangled me then made me feel like I wasn’t worth the air that I constantly inhaled. I swallowed down the cruel truth of it all. Aubry didn’t just own the paper with Lolani’s name on it he owned me too.
“I’ll go with you, Aubry. My apologies, I’m just having a rough day.” I sighed wishing I could eat dog shit instead of apologizing.
I can’t let Lolani down this weekend…
“It started with my mom this morning.” I partially lied.
My eyes were glued to the front of my house; my mom had the blinds up and she was staring directly at me with a look of disappointment.
“I’d like to see Lolani this weekend, please. Take me wherever you want to go.” I pleaded looking over at him.
“I don’t want no sad pussy.” He licked his lips.
I bit the inside of my cheek so hard it hurt. A lone tear fell down my cheek as I swallowed down the sob that dared to escape my lips.
“I’m not sad, Aubry. Just a little frustrated.” I said in a forced even tone.
“It’s alright baby, daddy gone fuck all them frustrations away.” He skirted away from the curb.